A/N: I am so sorry. I just wanted to say that so you'd know. Because I am. And I tried five time. Five. This is the fifth try. I had it all written out. It was very nice too, with a response to every reveiwer nicely written out that talked about my story, and my characters, and Saramagic's new story, all written in my normally quite cheerful way. I saved it to a floppy disk, inserted it into the big computer that connects to the happy internet supplier, pressed the happy little 'Download' button on fanfiction, and...
Gilthas: It didn't work.
Me: Exactly. So then, as I stated above, I tried four more times. Then I cried. Well, not really, but I was pretty close. So I just want to say sorry for the lack of response. I wrote it out! I swear I did! I swear to God, I can never use a floppy without it messing up on me somehow. So anyway, now everyone's asleep and I'm wishing I was. So here's my chapter. I hope you like it!!!
Chapter 10
Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past.
Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have.
Sometimes I think of letting goand never looking back.
And never moving forward so there'd never be a past
--Linkin Park
Hermione suddenly found herself standing in Remus's house. "But I've already been here!" Hermione said, seeing Ron standing a little away from her.
"You have?" Harry asked. "This is Remus's house."
"Yes," Hermione said stubbornly. She walked toward the desk. The small ball was still sitting there, looking way too innocent. "And when I picked that up, it attacked me."
Harry hurried over to where she was standing. His eyes hardened (if that was possible) when he saw it. "It attacked you? How?"
"It shot vines," Hermione answered, grimacing at the memory.
"It did the same to me," Harry said, nodding. "Seems like at least one thing is consistant."
"It shot vines at you? You mean you've seen this before?" Hermione demanded.
Harry looked at her calmly. "Of course I've seen it. I'm the one who gave it to Remus."
"As what? Some kind of sick joke?" Hermione asked angrily. "You gave it to him, even after it attacked you!"
"I told him that it attacked me," Harry said coldly. "I needed to know what it did."
"It shoots vines at you!" Hermione said. "What more proof do you need that its evil?"
"None," Harry said calmly. "I know that it's evil. What I don't know is how it works. You've only seen it this once. I've seen it do more things than shoot vines. You've seen the product of what it can do. It brought Sirius out of the veil. It brought me back to this time and place. That seems very powerful for a simple talisman, don't you think? So I gave it to Remus to figure out. I didn't have time to solve the problem. Trust me, I've paid for that mistake."
Suddenly Hermione remembered. "Harry, why didn't you come? We waited on you to do this spell. Where are you now? If you're here, that means your brain isn't conscious. I don't know how much time has passed in the real world, but we've been here a while. Where are you?"
"That's not important at the moment," Harry said. "We have to--"
"Harry James Potter!" Hermione said, planting herself in front of him. "How do you expect us to help you if we don't know where you are? No one's seen you for days!"
"I don't need help!" Harry said angrily.
"Of course not," Hermione said, her eyes flashing. "You can just die alone then, can't you?"
That really seemed to hit home because Harry's calm exterior cracked, if only for an instant. His eyes flashed with pain. Hermione had the sudden impression that one of his scabs cracked. The next instant, however, it was back. "I suppose I will."
Hermione let her arms fall to her side. "You truly are alone, aren't you?"
"Yes," Harry said calmy. The next second, without warning, he snatched the talisman from the desk. Hermione let out a warning yell and vines shot out of it, attaching themselves to Harry's arm. Flames shot out of Harry's fingers and the vines writhed, but fresh vines ket coming and kept burning, but they didn't stop. Harry's hand tightened around it and the flames turned blue. Encasing the talisman in heat. Hermione expected Harry's own hands to be burning, but they showed no damage at all. Seconds seemed like an eternity as Harry fought them off, but suddenly his hand opened and a runny liquid dripped to the floor, hissing when it hit the cold wood and burned a hole in it.
"All in your mind," Harry said calmly. "If you don't think it hurts, it doesn't."
The world slipped. "I think I activated the trap," Harry said mildly.
"That wasn't it?" Hermione asked.
Harry and Ron both rolled their eyes at her. She frowned.
"You're running into the block," Ron said calmly. "Call me if you get through." Hermione opened her mouth to protest, but he vanished without a noise.
"Don't worry about him," Harry said calmly. The world was solidifying around them. "Worry about us." Something in his voice made Hermione look around. The world stopped spinning. They were standing at the edge of a camp that seemed hidden in a forest. Looking up, she saw a clear night and a full moon. "Remus," she muttered.
"You have no idea," Harry said. Shr looked at him. His face looked slightly paler, though it may have been the moonlight. His face was as calm as ever. "I am sorry," he said quietly. "I didn't know the trap was like this."
"What is it?" Hermione asked. "Where are we?"
"Background story," Harry said with a sigh. "Hogwarts is gone. This is about it for the resistance. We're hiding in some forest we're not allowed to know the name of in case there's a spy. Dumbledore's dead. Has been for a while. McGonagall's in charge." He frowned thoughtfully for a moment. "If I'm not mistaken, today is my birthday. Been about a year then, since I've been out of Hogwarts, though that statement's kind of a joke."
"Why are we here?" Hermione asked.
"Because the trap is trying to get us to leave," Harry said. He muttered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like, "Probably do it, too."
"Well, we can't just stand here," Hermione said, trying to make her voice sound cheerful. "We won't get anywhere this way."
Harry gave a sharp, quick nod. Nothing about his face said he was reluctant, but Hermione had the distinct impression that it was so. The entered the camp of tents and small, smokeless fires. Everyone seemed gloomily. No one said a word. Hermione saw many familiar faces and many faces she'd never seen before. No one was really looking at anyone else. Harry stopped suddenly. Hermione looked at him, then followed his gaze.
Sitting by himself, wrapped in a blanket and prodding the fire dejectedly with a stick, sat, unmistakeably, a younger version of Harry. Hermione's mouth opened slightly and she went over next to him. Clearly he couldn't see her nor hear her. His eyes kept turning toward the direction of the only actual building she saw. Suddenly, a terrible howl came from it. Harry jerked visibly and closed his eyes.
"But where are we?" Hermione asked. "Where am I? And Ron? I--I know that I'm not dead yet."
Harry looked at her calmly, but Hermione saw his eyes flicker again. She could just see one of those scabs coming off. "You're in with Ginny and Ron. They, particularly Ginny, hasn't quite gotten over it yet. I'm usually in there, too, but not tonight." His voice lowered. "Not bloody tonight."
Suddenly there was a crash and the memory Harry was on his feet. Actual Harry flinched. Someone screamed. Everyone in the camp was looking around in fear. Memory Harry started running toward the scream, towards the building. "No," Actual Harry whispered.
From the other side of the building, a large wolfish creature walked, stalked really, and stood staring at memory Harry. Blood dripped from its jaws.
"Remus!" Hermione said, her eyes wide. Harry barely noticed. His brain was numb, watching this scene unfold before him. "God, not again," Harry whispered.
"Remus!" Memory Harry yelled. He took a step toward the wolf.
"Let's go," Harry said. "I can't watch this."
"What are you doing?" Hermione asked, watching the scene before him.
"Let's go!" Harry said urgently. He grabbed her arm and started to pull. She jerked it away. Her brown eyes landed on Harry. "You have to sit through it, Harry. It's the trap. It's trying to get you to leave."
"It's doing a damn good job," Harry said, anger showing on his face. "How can you watch this?"
"Because I don't know what's going to happen," Hermione said, and from her eyes, Harry could tell that it was the absolute truth.
"From what you know about me," Harry said. "Do you honestly want to?"
Hermione's eyes darted. She shook her head. "I have to, Harry. It's for Remus."
Harry hesitated. "Hermione," he said. "Let's get out of here."
"Go," Hermione said. "This is your memory. It will probably stop when you leave."
"I don't want to leave you here."
"I can take care of myself," Hermione said. "I know how to do it now. There's no need for you to watch this. Oh God!" Harry did not turn to see what she was talking about. He knew what was happening. He'd been through it once already. She shouldn't be able to see it if he was gone. As calmly and quickly as he could, he walked back into the forest, and back into his own mind.
Hermione watched in horror as the werewolf advanced on Harry slowly. Suddenly, with a growl, the werewolf charged. Hermione's breath caught when Harry didn't move. Then the wolf was on him. It reared up, claws extended. The next second, Harry was pushed out of the way, falling to the ground. With the terror in front of her, Hermione had not noticed what the rest of the camp was doing. The had noticed and, while most were panicking, others were pulling out wands.
Someone had pushed Harry out of the way. Instead of Harry getting hit, they did. Harry's anguished yell could be heard throughout camp, snapping many of the panicking to their senses. Harry scrambed out of the way. The werewolf--
The scene before her faded. Harry must have left. Without his mind to take the memory from, the trap couldn't run the memory. It still had one mind, however, and it was busy digging to find her worst memory. The world solidified around her. Apparently, it had found it. Hermione closed her eyes and gritted her teeth. She would not be run away. She was doing this for Remus and she would be damned if she ran away from her own mind. Harry was different. He had always been the one with the terrible memories, right from the start. She had never had the kind of memories that made her faint when a dementor came near, but she had never run from her own mind before she refused to start now.
Oh God, but she knew what was coming.
The air was musty and stale, the walls made of rock and dirt. She was underground. But she had known that she would be as soon as she realized what the trap did. The floor was hard pressed earth, as though many feet had trod upon it. Hermione knew that many feet had.
Suddenly a scream echoed throughout the tunnels, reverberating off the walls. There was a thumping noise and the scream cut off abruptly, to be replaced with gasping sobs and a soft noise, as though someone were being dragged.
The people making the noise came around the corner. It was a woman, dirty and disheveled, being dragged carelessly down the hall, sobbing hard and pulling weakly at her captor in a way that suggested her hope was gone, but she would keep fighting, despite her increasingly weakening muscles and quickly vanishing hope.
Hermione recognized the girl. She was a student of hers at Hogwarts. Hermione's body went cold and tears formed in her eyes.
"No!" Hermione shouted. "No! I refuse this! I defy you're stupid block! You're stupid trap! You can't chase me away with this! Try something else!" Her last sentence sounded desperate and she knew it, but she couldn't help it. She couldn't go through this, not again. She shook her head stubbornly and looked away from the scene. They couldn't make her watch. They couldn't.
Oh, but they could.
When she turned her head, the scene followed her eyes. No matter what way she looked, the scene was before her eyes. It knew she was trying to look away. Of course it could. It was reading her mind right now, copying this scene from her memory, making up a few things that it couldn't make out.
The scene followed the person dragging the girl. He was a Death Eater. One of Malfoy's followers. Hermione felt cold hatred welling up inside her at the thought.
The man opened the door and threw the girl inside. He turned to leave, but his head suddenly jerked up as he heard a noise. His hand inched toward his wand, his eyes watching everything carefully. Suddenly there was a burst of red light from no where and he fell to the floor.
A whispered word opened the door that the Death Eater had closed and the girl fell out, as though she had been leaning on the door when it was opened. She tried to struggle to her feet, but the effort seemed too much for her. With a soft russel, an Invisibility Cloak fell to the floor as the person wearing it shrugged it off and bent gently down to the girl and held her hand tightly.
"Anna?" said the Hermione in the memory. "Anna, look at me. It's going to be okay now. You have to come with me, though. We have to get out of here."
With a sob, Anna clung to Hermione's hand, clutching it as one would clutch their very last string that is stopping them from falling down a cliff, in desperation but without any real hope that it's going to help.
"You have to come with me, child," Hermione said urgently. "You have to come with me and I'll take you to you parents. You want that, right?"
Before the girl could respond, a vexed hiss came from no where.
"Hermione! The cloak! Put the bloody cloak back on!"
"What about Anna?" Hermione whispered back.
"Put her under there, too!" said a panicked voice. "Just hide yourself!"
"Too late," said a voice. A person dressed in Death Eater black entered the hall quite calmly through another door. His eyes, seen through his mask, lingered only a second on the body of his stunned comrade. "It would appear we have an intruder alert."
Hermione in the memory stood up slowly. "How could you do this? She's only a girl. No more than 13."
"Why do you think we did it?" asked the Death Eater. "Do you honestly think we have any kind of interest in a simple child?"
Memory Hermione's eyes flickered. "You lured us here."
There was a noise of surprise from behind her, clearly coming from another figure in an Invisibility Cloak.
"You've been something of a pest," said the Death Eater. He had still made no move to defend himself, or to attack Hermione.
Hermione, watching the scene unfold, shook herself out of her horror. She couldn't just stand here and let it all happen again. But she was rooted to the spot. She couldn't move forward.
But she could move back.
Desperately, Hermione turned to go back. She couldn't watch this. Not again. She closed her eyes tight. Voices were saying something behind her.
For Remus.
That single thought flickered through her head.
For Remus.
Her hand tightened into fists and she determinedly turned around. She wasn't running anymore because now, it wasn't about her.
For Remus.
The attack had begun while Hermione's back had been turned. More Death Eaters had shown up, taken them by surprise. Her eyes flickered open. She saw herself, fighting life and limb to prevent herself from being hit. She flung curses back at the Death Eaters, dodging. She made for the corner, a place of refuge. A spell hit her in the back. She fell flat on her face and lay their shuddering for a moment before she seemed to come to and push herself off the floor. Ron had run out to help her, shield her with his body, yelling at her to get up.
Hermione seemed fine. Her eyes unfocused breifly. Hermione, watching the memory, knew what was happening and the entire scene reflected it. Everything was flickering, darkeness, brightness, darkness, brightness. People unfocused then sharpened. Everyone started to move slowly, like they were struggling through water. Hermione in the memory saw the Death Eaters trying to drag the girl away, and her, fighting them with arms and legs to prevent that. Memory Hermione took a step forward. Ron grabbed her arm to drag her back. Sound itself seemed to go slowly. Ron's words muddled together as she pulled free. He couldn't stop her. He joined her, trying to keep her alive while the number of Death Eaters kept growing and Hermione's eyesight was failing.
She shook her head to clear it. There, the girl. She had to save the girl.
Hermione raised her wand. The figures around her blurred, including the girl, who now appeared to be on her feet, fighting back. It was a mess of black robes. Hermione's mind wasn't working right. She felt slow-witted and stupid, but as long as she held onto her objective, she could stand it. She took aim...and fired.
Hermione, watching the scene, felt a yell tear at her throat. Not again. Oh God, not again.
But it happened. Hermione saw two figures stand in surprise as the figure between them fell to the ground, dead, her brown hair falling in waves to perfectly frame a startled face.
Memory Hermione gasped and fell, her brain numb and her eye sight temporarily gone. The scene faded, leaving Hermione crying in the dark. She had watched that girl grow up at Hogwarts. She was an exceptionally bright girl, very gifted at medicine and planning to be a mediwitch. She had been stolen away while trying to rescue survivers of a Death Eater attack. Hermione had insisted on getting her back. She was part of the team, only a child, perhaps, but a major part. She had healed Hermione's broken arm once.
She was dead. Hermione had killed her.
Fresh tears whelled up in Hermione's eyes. She had awoken after the incident to find herself in St. Mungo's, Ron sitting next to her. He had told her then that the girl- no, not' the girl'. Amy. Her name was Amy.-had been murdered by Death Eaters. Hermione had sobbed for hours after, Ron unable to help, trying to choke out what she had done. Ron never understood her, though, and Hermione couldn't stop crying. And so the incident became secret. Hermione's secret shame. The day Hermione died inside.
She heard footsteps behind her and she whirled around, her hand going to her robe's pocket for her wand. It was empty.
A girl materialized out of the darkness. Hermione's breath caught. Amy.
"Why, Granger?" she asked. Hermione went cold all over.
"Amy," Hermione whispered. "You know I didn't, not on purpose. I was trying to help you."
"Help me?" Amy asked angrily. "Help me from living? Is that it, Professor? Is the world honestly so cruel that you felt you had to kill me to save me from it?"
"No," Hermione said, tears streaming unchecked down her face. "That's not it at all! The curse! It-"
"Don't shift the blame!" Amy shouted, angry coming off her in waves. "You pointed your wand at me, said the words, and you killed me!"
"I didn't mean to," Hermione cried. "I meant to help you. I did. I swear!"
"Well thanks," Amy said sarcastically. "I owe you my life. No wait, that's the other way around."
"You have every right to be angry," Hermione said quietly. "You must hate me."
"Yes, to both statements," Amy angrily. "You have no idea how long I've waited to say this to you, Professor Granger." Suddenly her expression turned from open anger to sudden inspiration. "And I know just the way to repay you."
Hermione's eyes widened.
"No, no, nothing like that," Amy said. "If I was going to kill you, I would have done it. It's quick. It's painless. I want to make you suffer." She looked around. "This is certainly an interesting place, isn't it? Someone's mind, I think. You know the great things about the mind?" She leaned down next to Hermione conspiritorily. "It's that if your unconscious, you can go anywhere. You know sleep is a form of unconsciousness. Any idea how long you've been here, Granger?"
Hermione's eyes followed her as she paced back and forth. "No idea." Hermione knew that she could do nothing. Amy was right. She owed her student her life. She could never fight her.
"Quite a while, actually. Time is different here. A minute to you is an hour to them. An hour here is nearly three days in the real world. At the moment, time seems to be on my side. It's night. He's sleeping."
Hermione went cold. "Who?" she breathed.
Amy smiled wickedly. She snapped her fingers. Ron appeared, looking rather confused. His eyes landed on Hermione.
"Hermione!" he said, hurrying to her side.
"You see," Amy said carelessly. "I can bring anyone. I'm dead, after all. I'm not limited as you are."
Ron looked up. His eyes landed on Amy. "Amy?" he asked disbeleivingly. "But you're dead! Death Eaters killed you!"
Amy raised her eyebrows at Hermione. "So you didn't tell him? No matter. That's not why I brought him here."
Suddenly Ron screamed, an earpeircing yell that sounded like he'd been stabbed in the gut. He crumpled to the floor, still yelling, and Hermione bent by his side, trying to raise her voice over his yell.
"Oh God, Ron! Hold on! What's wrong? Oh God, oh God, oh God..."
Suddenly Ron's eyes glazed back and his body went lax. Hermione went white and felt desperately for a pulse. There it was, beating very faintly, but still beating.
"What did you do to him?" Hermione shrieked. She turned wildly to Amy and found the girl looking at her coldly, calmly.
"The question you must ask yourself now," she said. "Is whether the life of one friend is worth the life of another."
A/N: Another cliffy! Sorry about that, but I did post. And sorry again for the lack of reviews. It's exceptionally rebarbative.
Gilthas: She means annoying.
Me: It's the same thing. So anyway, I'm keeping my Mum away with my typing because she repainted her room and can't sleep through the smell so she's sleeping on the couch. Sorry for the lack again! I feel terrible! Please reveiw anyway! I promise I'll respond next time, even if I have to type it again six times!!! By Gum! See you. Read and Review!!!
--Gilthas