Joey Wheeler and the Quest for the Golden Doughnut
Note: I only got two reviews (sob), but I guess I might as well update and hope for better this time… please review, if you're reading this… I mean, the worst you can say is that it isn't good, right? There will be little notes of the actions going on around Joey in Italics from now on in order to try and make it make more sense… unlike that sentence. Just read it and hopefully you'll get it! Now… quick, before Joey wakes up, the disclaimer!
Disclaimer: I don't own the strange and random things that show up in this fic… here's a list of this chapters random things that I don't-
Joey: (wakes up) Where am I?
Author: We'll get to that in a second. I'm trying to do the disclaimer here.
Joey: No! I remember what's going on now! NOOOOO!
Author: May I continue?
Joey: NOOOOO!
Author: Okay then.
-own: Easton Relex bats, lembas bread, elfin cloaks, Lord of the Rings, and Godric Gryffindor's sword.
Day Two
Man, my head feels all swimmy. Uh… dis is NOT my room… dis is a girl's room. It's so… filled wit pictures of guys… I hope it's a girl's room. Is dat… me? And me? And me? And me? And Seto Kaiba? What da heck? Where am I?
Oh no! Dat picture! It's da crazy girl. Hmm… all dose books and movies, DVD player, computer, picture of some red heads… Dis is da author's room! How da heck did I get here?
Oh no, here she comes! What do I do? (cherry pie floats out of nowhere and hits him in the back of the head) Ow… why did a cherry pie just float out of nowhere and hit me in da back of da head? Da author's laughing maniacally… and she says she's bored again, and she wants me to go and find dat stupid golden doughnut thingy.
Um… dat's difficult right now, since I'm sort of tied to a chair. I think I'll tell her dat.
…
She didn't like dat! Um… is that? (Author pulls out blue Easton Reflex bat)Yes, book thingy, I'm afraid dat a certain blue, rugged, bat is about to make contact wit my head again if I don' think fast. (AN: In other words, he's doomed)
WAIT! Author person… I'll get da doughnut, really… just don't make my head go all hurty again. (Cowers in chair)
She sure looks satisfied… I wonder if she coulda predicted dat? I really could use a dough- I know, author person, I know… I have ta find da Golden Doughnut first and… what's dat? Rid da world of evil by doing so? Dis is new… oh, you just come up wit dis stuff as ya go? Weird.
Oh no… I've just looked down and… no, I'm not naked ya pervs, it's much worse den dat! I'm wearing… Kaiba's trenchcoat! If I was untied I'd… I'd… Oh look, she's untied me! (runs around in distressed little circles)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
GET IT OFF ME GET IT OFF ME GET IT OFF ME GET IT OFF ME GET IT OFF ME GET IT OFF ME GET IT OFF ME GET IT OFF ME GET IT OFF ME GET IT OFF ME GET IT OFF ME GET IT OFF ME GET IT OFF ME GET IF OFF ME GET IT OFF ME GET IT OFF ME GET IT OFF ME GET IT OFF ME GET IT OFF ME GET IT OFF ME!
(AN: this is about to continue for a painfully long time, so we'll just skip to the end of it!)
MY LIFE IS OVER MY LIFE IS OVER MY LIFE IS- (Kaiba pops up out of nowhere) Uh oh… it looks like Kaiba wants his trenchcoat back. Eh… I think dis would be a really good time to take the author on a date! (Kaiba goes poof) Yay, it worked, Kaiba went poof! Now, about dat date, I don't think I can- (Kaiba starts to reappear) No, no, don't bring Kaiba back! Please don't! And GET DIS STUPID THING OFFA ME BEFORE I FREAK OUT AGAIN! Whew… I thought I would die from being touched by dat thing… it smells like coffee and expensive dry cleaning!
(Author grabs Joey's arm) Eh… author girl, why are you on my arm? Date? Oh yeah… eh...
…
Make it snappy? What's dat supposed to- Oh, I need to find dat doughnut, so we can't make out afterwards? Gee… I'm so disappointed. (Kaiba starts to reappear yet again) No, don't bring Kaiba back! I meant it! The italic text was for emphasis, not sarcasm!
I hate blackmailing author people who have total control over the lives of innocent yu-gi-oh characters… dey suck. (A mob of fanfiction writers pop out of nowhere) OH NO! Dey have pitchforks and torches. Could it be… AN ANGRY MOB OF INSANE FANGIRLS! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! (looks around and sees no one in the room but him, the chair, and the fangirls) I'M GONNA DIE… ALONE!
(Author screams: "NEVER INSULT THE WRITER!" and chases Joey for a while with the other fangirls before saving his butt.)
Da author just saved my butt… really, dey were trying to burn it so I'd fall outta dat tree… and I think dey had a doggie costume, too. (Whimpers) When does dis horror end? WHEN?
…
Yeah, yeah, I know, I know, when I find da golden doughnut… I despise you, author person. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GET SO BORED? WHY?
…
Because you've never had a boyfriend and therefore have nothin' ta do? Dat's a dumb reason to be bored.
…
I DIDN'T MEAN IT! DON'T MAKE THE PURPLE PIGGIES FROM OUTER SPACE COME AND DO EXPEREMENTS ON MY BRAIN!
…
I am too smart enough ta be tested on by alien purple piggies.
…
Am too.
…
AM TOO!
…
AM TOO!
(Kaiba pops out of nowhere a third time, looking confused, sees his trenchcoat on the floor and slightly smeared with food, and then makes a move as if to chase Joey)
No, you're right, you're right, I'm a stupid idiot! Make Kaiba go away before he- (gets pummeled by Kaiba) does dat… Owie, my head feels all hurty again…
…
Okay, I promise ta be obedient and go on a quest for da golden doughnut… just don't make my head go all hurty again!
…
I'm goin', I'm goin! (grabs a package of lembas bread and an elfin cloak) Aren't deese from dat Lord of Da Rings movie? (sniffs lembas) It doesn't smell poisonous, so I guess it's safe.
…
I'll need my what?
Sword? I don't have a- (long, bloody sword with the name Godric Gryffindor pops out of nowhere) Dis isn't mine! It's Godric Gryffindor's!
…
Okay, den, he's dead… but why da heck do I need dis?
…
Because you feel like it? Dat's a stupid- (Kaiba starts to appear) Never mind! Okay, okay! I'm off ta find da golden doughnut!
End note: Hope that gave you some laughs. Review and tell me what you think of this new format for the story!