Chapter Fifteen: Losing Lucius

A/N: I am terribly, horribly sorry that it's taken me so long to update. The AP exams had me busy for awhile and then this chapter was causing difficulties.

My most sincere thanks to Silverthreads, bigkihap, Lena, Lady Urguentha, Kidarock, miss mcGonagle, Lou. McGonagall, Subbulakshmi, Jedi Knight Padme, zephiey, and foci (twice!).

And, of course, to my beta Flying Auk, who saved this chapter (and probably the story).

Diana looked nervously over at Severus's hunched form, her heart aching for him. He was staring at a point just over her shoulder, the angular planes of his face creating a look so severe that it was almost caricatured in quality. The twisted combination of grief, self-condemnation and disgust she saw playing across his features instantly squelched the tiny flare of vicious joy that had leapt up when the realization struck that Lucius Malfoy—that cunning, smiling devil of a man who represented the highest class of the cesspools of humanity—was finally dead.

To take that look off his face, however, Diana would have done anything—even brought back the pernicious bastard who had plagued her father…and who had been Severus's best friend since he was seven. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked quietly, already knowing his answer.

"No." His reply was quick, curt, and quite sharp. Defensive, she characterized it immediately, shoving down the hurt caused by his automatic, though expected, rejection. His frown—and hers—deepened.

"Severus…" Diana hesitated and bit her lip, unsure as to how to approach him. Lucius had been his best friend—albeit an evil best friend—and Severus had always cared deeply for the few people he let into his life. The rest of the world could hang, but Severus would have hung the world to save his friends—even if he would never admit it.

"What happened?" she inquired softly, resisting the urge to reach out and wrap her arms around him.

The quick flash of irritation that darted across his face was matched by a sudden tension in his shoulders, and the general air of recalcitrance that perpetually surrounded him doubled in intensity. Severus opened his mouth, then closed it abruptly, leaned back, and took a deep breath. The quickened step of her heartbeat was the only indication of her anxiety as Diana waited with uncharacteristic patience, knowing that pushing him further would only push him away.

It was a full minute before he spoke. "We were in the lower garden," he said dully. "The Dark Lord must have erected a special ward for Fawkes—the fireball was unable to materialize. We had to fight our way out of the mansion. We were almost out when…" he trailed off momentarily, the slight twitch in his right hand—his wand hand—the only indication of his thoughts.

"When Lucius came?" Diana prompted neutrally, struggling to control her revulsion. A monster like Malfoy did not deserve a first name or friends like Severus, who obviously believed that there had been more to the man than cold ambition.

Severus nodded wordlessly, too absorbed in the memory to notice her internal division. "I didn't—I didn't know who it was at the time." He paused momentarily, his face tightening as he looked up at her. "I never gave him a chance." The slight change in his tone told her everything.

Diana's eyes widened fractionally; here was the root of Severus's internal anguish. "You knew him, Severus. The good more than the bad. He never would have joined us," she said softly, reaching out to clasp one of hands gently.

"I should have given him the chance," he said flatly, pulling his hand away.

She shook her head in disbelief, drawing her rejected hand back and cradling it in her lap like a wounded bird. "Severus—"

"No," he interjected sharply. "Don't."

Diana sighed inwardly. She knew that it was Lucius who had drawn Severus into "the fold," Lucius who had helped him rise through its ranks, and Lucius whose cold-hearted cruelty and fanaticism had eventually driven Severus out of it and back to Hogwarts. Now it was Lucius he had killed to save her mother, the woman who had taken him in when he returned to Hogwarts, Lucius whom Severus had wanted…maybe even neededto save…for despite his other faults, Lucius had been a good friend to Severus.

Diana paused, recalling one night in particular. The memory had been engraved in her mind, her one proof that the friend Severus remembered was not a figment of his imagination.

She had come home to spend the holidays with her parents but was unable to shake a strange sense of unease as she neared Hogwarts. Her first warning came when Hagrid, and not her parents, met her at the gate. After twenty minutes of searching the castle, she finally found her mother in Severus's rooms, staring blankly into the fireplace. He had been called two days ago and still had not returned. They had spent the night pacing the grounds as if possessed, only to be driven in by a combination of pouring rain and direct orders from a responsible Headmaster just before midnight.

They were thus still awake when the booming knock on the front doors sounded, sending all three of them tumbling at full speed down the stairs, wands out. Her father quickly established order by pulling her mother aside and placing her out of sight with a few whispered words of caution. Diana took care of her own problem with a quick invisibility spell—combined with the invisibility cloak she had been wearing all day, even Alastor Moody would not have been able to see her.

So it was that Diana was standing behind her father when he opened the door. It was only her parents' rigorous training that kept her from dropping her wand in shock at the sight before her.

A disheveled, dripping wet, and utterly expressionless Lucius Malfoy stood on the doorstep, an unconscious Severus Snape slung over his shoulder. Both were dressed in solid black and appeared sickly pale in the torchlight.

All Malfoy had done was shove Severus roughly towards her father, who had caught him automatically. Diana had considered it the worst act of friendship she had ever witnessed. She had not understood it at the time, and had been consumed with fury as she rushed to Severus's side. He was alive but gravely wounded. By the time they had looked up, Malfoy was already halfway down the stairs.

"Mr. Malfoy!" her father shouted at the retreating figure, his words muffled by the downpour.

The tall blonde turned around slowly, and Diana shuddered at force of his imperious gaze. "Take care of him," Malfoy ordered softly, his words sliding under and around the rain to reach them clearly.

"What about yo—" her father broke off abruptly as Severus groaned between them. By the time they looked up this time, Malfoy had disappeared into the dark.

Severus had survived the night and answered Voldemort's call again two weeks later in passable health. It was his comment, cool and calm in the midst of her outburst about Malfoy's callous behavior that had made Diana think, truly think, about their relationship. Two years later, she recalled his words exactly.

"That was possibly the greatest declaration of love that Lucius has ever given to anyone."

Diana had weaseled the full story out of her father. Malfoy had asked Voldemort—in the usual incomprehensible Slytherin way of strategic advantages and favors—for leniency on Severus's behalf. The Dark Lord had granted the request—by sharing Severus's "punishment" with his friend. Furthermore, in bringing Severus back to Hogwarts, Malfoy had risked both their lives and his reputation.

It left Diana flummoxed. Malfoy had saved Severus's life a number of times; Diana had lost count of how many times Severus had returned the favor. She did know, however, that no matter what the score was between them, Severus had planned on saving his "last" favor for getting Lucius out of Azkaban after the war was over.

That would never happen now, and only Severus would mourn the potential the world had lost. Diana swallowed. "Severus, I…I'm sorry." The words were insufficient to deal with the depth and complexity of the emotions rolling off the man before her, playing themselves across the harsh edges of his face and echoing in the dark pools of his eyes.

Severus blinked and observed her levelly, his face suddenly expressionless. "For what?"

Diana's blue eyes teared. "For…for your loss. For you. For everything," she choked out, her vision blurring at the edges as she felt the echoes of his agony cascade over her in pounding waves. Exhaustion and mutual comfort in the presence of a friend was lowering their mental barriers.

"Useless platitudes are unnecessary, Diana," Severus replied sharply. His hands however—his one consistent tell—were clenched tightly in his lap, white-knuckled and bloodless.

Frustrated, Diana searched for the words, for the language that would allow him to accept her sympathy and understanding—and could find none. "I…I'm so sorry, Severus," she repeated, "I know you loved him." Diana's breath froze as she realized what she had said, her exhaustion having overwhelmed the locks on her tongue.

At her words, Severus's entire body stiffened and within moments his eyes could have given diamonds a lesson in hardness. Black ice glimmered briefly, a shadowed light from a blackened soul, and then vanished into nothingness. Diana flinched as he slammed down his mental barriers, roughly severing their tentative connection. She sat there staring at him, stunned by the force of his reaction and waited for the sky to fall.

A/N: Reviews are always appreciated, guys! Thanks for reading, hope you're enjoying it.