.Hack: Penance
Miscellany
I. Comments
II. Acknowledgements
III. Stuff that got cut
IV. One nagging little thing
I. Comments
I thought I knew, but I had no idea.
It really began somewhat underwhelming; I hadn't even finished Infection and the idea popped in to do a fic that would run parallel to the events in-game. I'd like to say that I had it planned out from the start, but, as has been acknowledged before, that would be a filthy, filthy lie. I certainly didn't plan on writing what (I think) can fairly be called a fan novel (sans monetary incentive), or at least an epic fanfic. Funny how that works out, innit?
Honestly, there's not a lot else I can say. I wasn't always easy, it certainly wasn't always fun, and I imagine that some of you got tired of waiting for me to finish. But at the end of the day, if I can look back at this and say I told a story that people enjoyed, and that writing it taught me more about writing than I ever could have learned otherwise, then I say without hesitation that it was worth every last minute.
The hardest part, for me, was keeping original characters from dominating the story – that is, keeping the focus on the story itself, instead of any one character. I'm sure it could easily have degenerated into a series of John Woo-style gunfights and people getting blown away by the dozen, with Dean doing dramatic shoot-dodges with dual handguns, effortlessly trumping bad guys and showing up other good guys; this is part of the reason why I went with the idea of expectations, with people who have already seen that movie, read that book, know that cliché.
Dialogue wasn't exactly a cakewalk, either.
So, there you have it. The end of a project two years in the making. Of course, this won't be my last venture into fanfiction, and probably not my last Dot Hack work. Hell, I might even bring the crew back for one last hurrah, although that's definitely a ways off, if it is at all. There is an idea rattling around in my skull for a certain other online game, which all of you can probably guess.
As the saying goes, the words may be mine, but the story is now yours. Carry it with you as long as you like, and thank you for letting me share it.
II. Acknowledgements
The review crew. Way, way, WAY too many to name you all, but if you left one, you're one of 'em. You guys rock. That much praise can kill a man, yaknow, but that's okay. You know who you all are, and I salute you.
Gray17, who provided very specific critiques that were quite helpful, and junyortrakr, who was instrumental in changing a scene (that I myself didn't care for) in Relapse. An extra helping of thanks to you both.
My most awesome editor and critique guy, LacanPanother, AKA Shinji. Your comments helped me better some of the later chapters, especially after 35. Your aid in this was invaluable, and the epilogue would not be nearly as good without you. You have my thanks, my friend.
My dear comrades, Jonathan Priest and Goldberry. E-hugs to you both, and you know why. Whatever I did to deserve such friends, I couldn't have asked for better ones. The both of you have been super-extra-cool to me through it all, and more than willing to listen to me ramble about my ideas, half-baked or otherwise. If my baking acumen were up to the task, I would send you both cakes. Chocolate cakes.
Ketsugi and RPGamer, for putting up Heist and Relapse and getting me that extra bit of exposure. Though the fanfic section has since gone by the wayside, I appreciated the votes of confidence just the same. Just wish I could've gotten Penance up, too.
And lastly, and perhaps most obviously, you guys, the readers. Whether you did comment or didn't, spoke with me, knew me, whatever, it doesn't matter; you read through the whole damn thing, and I take my hat off to you, I really do. It ain't exactly light reading, and I want you all to know that it wouldn't mean anything at all if you all hadn't read it. Again and for all, I thank you.
III. Stuff that got cut, changed etc.
It was considered for Dean to be framed as part of the conspiracy, and be forced to work with Masamoto on the sly, all while evading police and trailing Felix.
Akira was originally the one to be kidnapped, instead of Hiroshi.
The Liminality characters were not initially to make appearances in the story; they took the place of generic OC insiders in Cyber Connect, whose presence I had a hard time justifying.
Helba was briefly considered to be handicapped in some fashion offline, possibly blind (ala Whistler in the movie Sneakers).
The initial set-up for the encounter at Cyber Connect was much different. Dean encountered Satori and chased him to the roof of CC headquarters, killing him along with two others. Cole proceeded as normally in kidnapping Hiro; Felix, on the other hand, tracked down and attempted to kill Helba, who is shot and nearly killed. The subsequent 'killing' of Aura occured on Helba's own machine.
After replacing the above OCs with Bith and Junichiro, it was considered that one of them would be a conspirator.
Several fight/chase scenes were cut: Rosenberg and his men originally were pursued by police helicopter (piloted by Dean and Masamoto); Dean and Hiroshi were to be ambushed on the ride home from school; Hiro was originally to encounter Felix and company at Dean's apartment, and to evade them (Akira relating a similar tale was also considered).
The Dean/Miku encounter at CC HQ was to take place in Miku's home.
Felix was originally to escape to a nearby parking lot during the final shootout.
Sanjuro and Balmung were to have bigger roles offline. Specifically, they were to meet at the Tech Expo with Orca/Yasuhiko, sharing their own insights on what was going on. It was briefly considered to have Lios meet with one of the three.
There was to be more investigation into Morganna herself, and possibly an encounter with her (with the character knowing who/what she was only in hindsight).
There were to be a few hints that Dean had died offline, with his character trapped online ala Tsukasa.
IV. One nagging little thing
The hinges creaked noisily as the mailbox swung open. The dry, comfortably warm air hung heavily around him, disturbed only by an old ceiling fan above. Through a window, the sun cast its gaze long and low over South Pasadena, its reflection glimmering lazily off the nearby Los Angeles skyline.
Dean stuffed his hand inside and pulled out the sizable clump of envelopes and miscellany, and locked the box shut. Removing his keys, he began rifling through the pile. (Bill, bill… junk mail, charity, junk mail… I'm in demand today,) he thought, smirking.
A door clicked and squeaked as it was pushed open. "Hey, Dean."
Cocking his head towards the voice, he spotted a dark-skinned man coming through the entrance; the detective smiled and nodded to him. "What's up, Dom?"
Dom joined Dean by the mailboxes, and began hunting for his own keys. "Same ol'. What's the word?" he asked. "The trial and all?"
"Nothin' yet," Dean muttered, flipping through the rest of his mail. (Junk, junk…) "Starts next week, I leave this Friday."
"Yeah, I remember you told me. Sucks, man, you just got back."
"Tell me about it," Dean grumbled. "Pain in the ass, and then some."
"I hear ya. You still on for poker tonight?"
"Sure, why not," Dean said flatly. "I didn't spend enough in Japan as it is, I could stand to lose a little more."
Dom snickered. "Yeah, yeah." He took out his mail and closed the box, turning back to the elevator. "Aright, see you later, Dean-o."
"Later, Dom." (Bill, junk… damn, they did know I was out of town, right?)
His fingers fell upon the last letter in the box, and stopped in their tracks. His address was handwritten, rather neatly at that, but what marked the letter as unusual was its return address. In an instant, it all came back to him; an email, a reply he had almost forgotten to expect.
Almost.
Pulse racing, he tore open the white envelope and pulled out the letter. His eyes eagerly danced over the text, initially puzzled, ultimately jubilant.
He saw a woman's lips, neatly imprinted in red lipstick against the white paper; a faint blush and a slow smile crept onto his face.
The elevator bell dinged. "Hey, Dom," said Dean, glancing over at his fellow tenant.
"Yeah?"
Dean carefully folded and pocketed the letter, still smiling. "Change in plans. I'm… meeting somebody tonight."
Dom arched an eyebrow at him. "That was quick."
Dean chuckled. "It's a long story. I'll tell you some other time."