Chapter 4

I don't own any Spirited Away's character.

I really wasn't sure what to do. The idea of going away from him never crossed my mind once.

I thought sometimes that I wouldn't be able to come back to Majou no Sekai, thought that I might have not seen Haku and Rin again, thought that they had forgot about me, but never I thought that I was not welcome, that Haku would be better if I wasn't there.

I cried a lot that night, it was sympathy for my stupidity, and hurt. My heart was aching. I never imagined that kind of pain, it was too difficult to accept Haku's words.

Rin came after work, and I couldn't mask my suffering, I had cried too much, and my moral was so low I couldn't see things clearly.

What did he do to you? - she shouted as she saw me.

I stopped my tears as soon as she entered the room, but my eyes were talking on my behalf.

I'm sorry I'm bringing trouble again. -

What are you talking about? - she said coming towards me and hugging me.

Haku said that he'd be happy when I'll be away. -

She kept her breath for a while. Angry.

Well, I won't. I was really looking forward to see you again, and I hope you can stay for some time. -

Those whispered words warmed my heart for a while.

I sighed. For some time I forgot about the rest of the world. For some time I forgot he wasn't the only one I wanted to see.

Thank you Rin. -

She stopped hugging me. Her face was serious again; I could see no sweetness in her eyes now.

I have to talk to you. -

Is something wrong? -

Her eyebrows rose.

I mean besides my being quite sad. - I said trying to smile.

I have to warn you. -

What is it? -

She breathed in slowly, her eyes were moving quickly, as in search of words.

Haku is not a kid anymore. -

I waited for her to continue, but she wouldn't speak. What was I supposed to say? I knew he was older now, but I liked him anyway.

Yeah…? - I commented.

She coughed a little.

You have to be careful. -

My eyes widened.

What are you talking about?-

She shook her head, then stood up.

when you were away… a lot of things happened.-

what kind of things?-

different kind.-

please explain.-

well, I can tell you only that Haku was involved in all of them.-

what are you trying to say?-

Haku is not a child anymore, he's not innocent anymore. He matured a lot, and unfortunately too much, maybe. He is really scary sometimes.-

he was like that also when we were kids.-

no. It's not the same. Haku was kind back then, he was a nice boy, he helped you.-

Are you saying that he won't do that again?-

I'm saying that he didn't do it anymore, he didn't help anyone else, and did things you can't imagine. He is so strong now, and cruel sometimes.-

what did he do?- I asked not really understanding what she was saying.

too many things to count.-

give me at least one example.-

She sighed.

Chihiro, you're coming back to your world, right? Why telling you these things? I would rather prefer you to have a good memory of him. At least we know he has one friend in the world.-

then why are you telling me?-

because I want you to feel better, to think that he changed and you don't have to take seriously what he says.-

Rin, you're confusing me.-

She turned towards the window.

Chihiro, I think he didn't forget about you, I think he's just pretending.-

well, I can see he's not that sure about what he is doing, but pretending… why?-

you are his only friend. He doesn't want you to know what he became. That's why he's trying to push you away.-

I don't understand what is your point.-

my point is that he's not that good at pretending, at least with you… I suspect that… well, anyway. What I want you to do, I don't want you to keep insisting about him. Leave him alone, and think about him as when he was a kid.-

but Rin! Have you seen him? He's not a kid at all… and he's so beautiful.-

I felt so stupid, while saying those words.

that's why I'm telling you this. He's dangerous and cruel. You should stay away from him.-

Rin I can't believe it!-

you don't believe me?-

it's not that… it's just that I believe in Haku too.

he changed.-

I understood that. But…-

no buts, Chihiro. Just be careful, ok?-

Are you asking me to avoid him?-

She nodded.

that sounds so much like a soap opera line.-

a what?-

I shook my head.

nothing.-

She looked at me for a while and then she stood up.

think about it.-

It was silent for a while, and she stood up.

you said he has only me as a friend, right?-

yeah.-

what about you? You're not his friend anymore?-

She sighed.

no, I'm not.-

and why you don't want me to know about his past.-

Chihiro… I pity him.- she whispered and then left.

Those sounds, those words, fell down on me like stones. She wasn't talking about me, and she didn't say anything about him, but I felt that day that it was all my fault, everything was my fault. Maybe it was my already bad day, but in that mood I kept repeating myself that I couldn't bring anything good to Aburaya.

Sorry for the long delay, I am at home now and I can write a little, if someone is interested to see how this continues. Please review. And of course, thank you for reading.