Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy VIII....

Author's Note: Ha ha, sorry about the end of the last chapter. Damn that Irvine and his timing, huh? Thanks for your feedback!

Etherealist: Regarding the role that Quistis will be playing in this fic, no, it won't be evil like in On the Ice. Lol, it's really fun to write a darker side of Quistis, but in this fic, one of my goals was to make her likeable. Granted, that's always hard since she is with Squall, whom the majority of you want to be with Rinoa. Hey, I'm a major Squinoa fan, too, so I know what's going on in all of your minds evil grin Anyway, getting back to your question, Etherealist, Quistis is trying to be supportive of Rinoa, but she cannot help feeling jealous. I mean, Squall and Rinoa had a really strong connection, so of course that's going to leave doubts in Quistis's mind about her marriage to Squall. So, how will this all play out? Ha ha, you'll just have to wait and see

To Love You More

Chapter Twenty-Two

"I feel like a shadow

Walking behind who you think I am

Just like my shadow

Wanting to see the sun again

I'm your shadow

And I'm lost

Just like my shadow"

-"Shadow" Maria Mena

"Great job, guys! I'll see you all in class tomorrow, okay? Take the rest of the day off. You've definitely earned it!"

The class of twelve mumbled their thanks, simply relieved that their field training was over. Not only were there plenty of monsters to fight, but there was also the harsh Trabian climate to consider. Camping out in the freezing snow wasn't exactly a picnic. In fact, some would even say that they would rather take on the fiercest blue dragon than brave the weather. Needless to say, the students were just happy to be in out of the cold.

"I think you deserve most of the credit for making this successful, Selphie."

The petite brunette turned her head until her emerald eyes met those of the speaker. Dominic Hagen was a fellow instructor and had become a close friend of Selphie's over the past few years. With his dark hair and eyes, he was the object of many girls' affection. Selphie, although not completely oblivious of Dominic's charm, thought of him as only a friend. No matter how sweet he was to her.

"Aw, you're giving me too much credit, Dom. The kids learned much more from you on this trip than I could ever teach them," Selphie said sincerely.

"Well, you seem to be happier having fun with the kids than teaching them."

Selphie smiled sheepishly. "What can I say? I guess I'll always be a kid at heart."

"And that is exactly why you make such a great teacher," Dominic told her appreciatively. "The kids love the fact that you're not afraid to have fun."

"True...but to be honest, I sometimes hate that side of me."

Dominic looked at her in surprise. Ever since he had met her, Selphie had been a ball of energy. He had never seen someone with such enthusiasm and spirit in his life. It had always seemed so natural for Selphie to be that way that he couldn't believe the words that had just come out of her mouth.

"What do you mean?"

Selphie sighed. "I've always been happy-go-lucky Selphie. Don't get me wrong, that's who I've always been; who I am. Well, that's not entirely true. I was always that way except for..." She shook her head. "You must have heard about Rinoa Heartilly, right?"

Dominic nodded. "Commander Leonhart's girlfriend from Balamb. She died in an accident three years ago, right? What does that have to do with anything?"

"You didn't meet me until a year after the accident, so you didn't see me then. You see, I never told you this, but Rinoa was one of my best friends. I was the one who asked her to come here and help rebuild Garden. After...after she died, I blamed myself. If I hadn't asked her to come, she never would have been in the crash."

Dominic stared at the brunette, a tender expression on his face. "You can't possibly still believe that, can you?"

Selphie shrugged. "Over the years, I've come to terms with it. Still, there's always that tiny part of me that thinks otherwise. I'm better now, though." She smiled. "You've been a really great friend, Dom. I owe you for helping me get my 'real' self back and helping me move on."

Dominic blushed slightly. "You're a wonderful person, Selphie. Regardless of what you think, I honestly believe that you never lost sight of who you are. It was there all along, just buried under all of the pain you were feeling."

"Aw, Dom, you're gonna make me cry!" Selphie smiled. "Thanks for cheering me up. I'll see you later, okay? I don't think I can stand being in these wet clothes any longer!"

Dominic chuckled. "Yeah, I'd better get changed, too. See you around, Selphie."

Selphie waved and then hurried down the hall to her room. Once inside, she quickly peeled off her wet clothing and changed into a pair of black sweatpants and a yellow sweater. Normally, she would have taken a warm shower, but she had no time for that now. In addition to being a teacher at Trabia Garden, Selphie was also one of the assistant commanders there. She was now hurrying to the bridge to be briefed on everything that had happened in her absence. As soon as she got there, she was greeted by her friend, Kristine.

"Hey," she said happily. "How'd field duty go?"

"Great!" Selphie exclaimed. "One of my best classes yet. How are things here? Did anything interesting happen while I was gone?"

"Well, regarding Garden, no, but on a personal level..."

Selphie raised an eyebrow. "Hey, spill! What do you mean 'on a personal level'?"

"What I mean is, Irvine called a few days ago."

Selphie was genuinely surprised. It had been ages since she'd last talked to Irvine. "What did he want?"

"You," she stated simply.

"Me?"

Kristine nodded. "Actually, it seemed pretty urgent. He seemed concerned when I told him you were on field duty, though. Wanted to know if you had gone alone. He wouldn't even respond to my flirting!"

Selphie rolled her eyes. "I guess I should call him back. I wonder why he called..."

"You'll never know unless you ask, right? Unfortunately, that's going to have to wait for now. Violet wants to see you in her office."

Selphie nodded, relieved. She was in no hurry to talk to her ex-boyfriend. They hadn't exactly parted on the best terms, and, to be completely honest, she hadn't planned on ever talking to him again. She had made a new life for herself at Trabia Garden. She had a good job, great friends, and most importantly, she was coming to terms with her guilt. Like she had told Dominic, she was finally able to be cheerful again. If she had stayed in Balamb, she knew that she would be a completely different person. Still, like it or not, she would be making a call to Irvine after her meeting with Violet. Perhaps it would even do her some good. Irvine Kinneas was the last link to her past. Once she cut him away, nothing would be holding her back. She could finally get on with her life one hundred percent. Because that was what she wanted. Right?

Rinoa walked to the cafeteria, her head in a daze. Two days had passed since her almost-kiss with Squall and she still didn't know what to make of it. Truth be told, she had been avoiding him. The situation was just too awkward. Squall must have felt the same way because he hadn't sought her out, either. Looking back on it, she still couldn't believe how close they had come to kissing. Squall was married, for God's sake! She had no place kissing a married man. She tried to remember if she had been the one to make the first move, but the whole scene was a blur. All she could remember was Squall's lips traveling towards hers and the sudden need to feel them against her own.

Stupid, stupid, stupid! Rinoa silently berated herself. How could she have let herself get caught up in the moment like that? Squall probably pitied her for being so desperate. How many more signs did she need? Squall had all but admitted that Quistis was the love of his life. She had no business acting the way she had. Although, in that moment, it was if they had been on the same page; just like old times. She could have sworn that, for just a moment, she had seen something in Squall's eyes. Rinoa shook her head. No, you're mistaken. Every time you take a step back from Squall, you screw it up and get reeled back in. Not anymore, though. Nothing like that is ever going to happen again. Rinoa was so preoccupied with her thoughts that she wasn't watching where she was going and ended up walking right into Irvine.

"Hey, hey, hey," Irvine teased. "Where are you off to in such a hurry?"

Rinoa smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, my mind was somewhere else. I was heading to the cafeteria."

"Urgh, don't even bother. I just came from there and the hotdogs are all sold out. Actually, most everything is sold out tonight. The cafeteria lady said something about a student picnic."

Rinoa sighed. "Great. The one night that I'm starving."

"Tell me about it," Irvine said. "Hey, how about this? There's this new cafe in town that serves the best apple pie. How about you join me for dinner and desert?"

Rinoa was unsure of how to respond. Was Irvine asking her out? Irvine was amazing, but Rinoa wasn't sure if she was ready for that yet. Weren't you just saying how you need to get your mind off of Squall? Irvine is the perfect distraction, if you ask me.

"Okay," Rinoa said finally. "That sounds great."

"Awesome," Irvine said, grinning.

"Just let me go get changed. I'll meet you at the front gate in, oh, fifteen minutes. Would that be okay?"

"Sure," Irvine said, "But I don't see why you need to change. You look fine to me."

Rinoa felt her cheeks start to burn up and quickly turned her gaze to the floor. "That's sweet of you to say, but...well, look at me! I've had these clothes on all day and I'm a mess! I know that I've been out of the loop for three years, but doesn't one generally get dressed up at night? That much hasn't changed, I'm sure," she teased.

"No, you're right. People generally do that. The thing is, though, this isn't some fancy dinner. It's a casual dinner at a small cafe, hardly anything to make a fuss about. And," he said, grinning, "I meant what I said. You look great no matter what you're wearing, Rinoa."

Once again, she found herself blushing. "Aren't you the flirt tonight." Tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear, she finally said, "Okay. I won't change. Just let me go grab my purse."

Irvine shook his head. "Nope, you don't have to get that, either."

Rinoa sighed exasperatedly. "And why not?"

"Because dinner is on me tonight."

"No, Irvine, I can't allow you to do that."

"Regardless, I'm still going to." He winked, offering her his arm. "I was the one who asked you, remember? So the question is, are you ready to have some fun tonight, Ms. Heartilly?"

"Fun?" Rinoa raised an eyebrow. "Who said anything about fun?"

"Why, Rinoa, that really hurts." He placed a hand on his chest in mock pain. "Doesn't one normally assume that the word 'fun' is automatically associated with myself?"

Rinoa laughed. "Of course. I don't know how it ever escaped my mind."

"Well, I don't know about you, but I'm starving. So are you ready to go, or are you just going to stand there?"

Rinoa shook her head. "No, I'm ready, but I'm only agreeing to this because I'm starving."

Irvine just smiled. "Whatever you say, Rinoa, whatever you say."

"That's it for my report. Like I said, the kids were great," Selphie finished explaining to Violet, their commander.

Violet nodded. "Thank you, Selphie. That will be all. Dismissed."

The brunette exited the office and headed into her own office across the hall. To be honest, she hadn't fully comprehended what Violet had just filled her in on. Her mind had been miles away, wondering just why Irvine had called out of the blue. There was no way to find out unless she called him back. A ripple of excitement shot through her petite frame at that thought. Even after all this time, the thought of the sweet talking cowboy still gave her butterflies. Stop thinking like that, she chided herself. You're the one who broke it off with him. It never would have worked out between us.

Telling herself that she was being ridiculous, it was just Irvine, she picked up the phone and dialed his number. The number, although rarely used, had been engraved into her brain. She couldn't count the number of times that she had contemplated calling him, but then backed out. In her mind, the less communication they had, the better. It was just so much easier that way.

The line rang a few times before it was picked up and a gruff voice barked out, "Hello?"

Selphie was surprised by the sharpness to his voice, but she couldn't really make a judgment since it had been ages since they had last talked. "Irvine?"

"No," the voice said irritably. "This is Squall Leonhart. Who's this?"

"Squall?" Selphie asked, extremely confused. Had she dialed the wrong number? "This is Selphie. I meant to call Irvine, but I must have dialed your number instead. Sorry."

"No, you have the right number. Irvine isn't here right now, though."

"Oh," Selphie said quietly, feeling disappointed.

"Anything I can help you with?"

"That's sweet of you to ask, but unless you know why Irvine called me, I don't think there's much you can do."

"Irvine called you?" Squall asked, feeling surprised. The last he heard, Irvine and Selphie hadn't exactly been on speaking terms.

"Yeah," Selphie said wistfully. "A few days ago, actually. I was away on field duty, but I heard that what he wanted to talk to me about was pretty important. I can't imagine what he would want to tell me, though. It's been so long since we've actually had a real conversation. Oh, sorry, Squall. I'm rambling on, aren't I? Tee-hee, I'm sure you have a lot of work to do, so I'll let you go." She began to hang up the phone.

"Selphie, wait!" Squall exclaimed.

Selphie put the phone back to her ear in surprise. "Y-Yeah?"

Squall sighed. "I think I know why Irvine called you. You say he called you out of the blue, right?"

"Yes," Selphie replied. "I can't even remember the last time we talked."

"It makes sense, then. He was calling to tell you."

"Tell me what?" Selphie asked, confused.

Squall sighed once more. "Rinoa...she's alive. She came back almost a week ago. It's a long story...one which I'm sure you'd rather hear from her. Do you want her number?"

"N-No," she managed to stammer. "I'm coming over there."

"What? Selphie, what do you mean you're coming over here?" There was no response. "Selphie?" The sound of a dial tone was the only response he got.

"Dammit," he muttered. "She'll never change."

Rinoa and Irvine sat at a cozy table by the window at Cafe Fiori, the new cafe Irvine had been talking about. The atmosphere in the cafe was very relaxed and comfortable. Natural hues of brown adorned the walls and pretty much everything else. Rinoa was relieved that she had listened to Irvine and had not changed. Actually, Rinoa could only sing praises about the place so far. Her chicken salad was delicious, and she could tell that Irvine was enjoying his burger.

"I talked to Squall about getting you a job at Garden," Irvine announced suddenly.

"You did?" Rinoa asked, clearly surprised. She didn't remember mentioning anything to Irvine about needing a job.

Irvine nodded. "I figured you needed to do something to support yourself. I brought up the idea of teaching, but Squall suggested being his personal secretary."

Rinoa began to cough, practically spewing bits of food all over the place. "Excuse me?"

Seeing her dumbfounded expression, Irvine clarified. "Not his personal secretary, exactly. More like a secretary in general, for all of us."

"But don't you already have a secretary?"

"Yeah, but Squall was gonna fire her anyway. Listen, Rinoa, the truth is, we'd love to have you. You're familiar with the position from working with Cid, and you're more than capable. I'd say go for it."

"I don't know...I need to think about it. Can I get back to you on that one?"

Irvine smiled. "Sure. You'll ultimately have to go to Squall with your decision. He's the one who has to finalize everything."

The thought of going to see Squall definitely was not an appealing one to Rinoa at the moment, but she chose not to vocalize her thoughts. Instead, she decided to change the subject. "Have you talked to Selphie lately?"

Irvine shook his head. "No. I called her the other day to tell her about you, but she's on field duty. I'm sure she'll call me as soon as she gets back."

"Do you think that you and her might be able to work things out?" she asked quietly.

The cowboy shrugged. "I doubt it. The truth is, we were over a long time ago. It's the way Selphie wanted it. I've come to accept that and I know she has, too. Besides, how do you know that I'm not interested in someone else?"

Rinoa raised an eyebrow. "Are you?" He just smirked in reply. "You are! Aw, who is it? Anyone I know?"

"Actually, yes. I'd say that you know her very well."

Rinoa smiled. "Now I'm intrigued. Who is the lucky lady?"

"You."

Rinoa's smile faltered. "What?"

"I said that it's you, Rinoa."

"Stop joking around, Irvine. Come on, who is she, really?"

"I'm not joking, Rinoa." His eyes told her that he was being dead serious. "You don't have to say anything. I know you're still getting over Squall, and the last thing on your mind right now is being in a relationship, but I just had to tell you how I felt."

"Wow," Rinoa said softly. "I don't know what to say. What about Selphie?"

"Didn't I just finish telling you that it's over between us? You're the one I'm interested in now. To be honest, I think the attraction was always there. Nothing ever happened because it never had the chance to. You had Squall and I had Selphie. Now, both of us are alone."

"Irvine," Rinoa said, her eyes looking lost. "I'm sorry. Right now, I just can't give you what you need. It's too soon for me to even be considering this."

Irvine nodded. "I understand. That's why I'll always be here for you, Rinoa. When you're ready, I'll be waiting for you. I'm willing to wait as long as it takes."

"Irvine..." Rinoa shook her head. "I'm sorry. Could you please take me home?"

The cowboy frowned. "Are you feeling okay?"

Rinoa nodded. "I'm just extremely tired. I'm sorry to cut our dinner short. It looks like I won't get to try that apple pie, after all."

Irvine shook his head. "Don't worry about it. Come on, lets go."

Rinoa followed him silently, still unbelieving of what she had just heard. Irvine had feelings for her. Irvine. God, did she ever need to get to bed. Her mind couldn't deal with what Irvine's confession meant. She needed to sleep. Perhaps, when she woke up, she would find that it really had all been a dream.