Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy VIII….

Author's Note: Hey guys! Sorry for the long wait with this chapter. I'm really sad to say that school is taking up even more of my time than I had anticipated. Junior year is definitely very demanding. However, there is no way that I am giving up on this fic after investing so much in it. Besides, I don't think I could give it up. I just love writing it too much. So I guess what I'm saying is, you should probably expect chapter updates to be more sparse, but I will try my best to update once to twice a month. Thank you all so much for your patience!

Digital Siren: Lol, ask and you shall receive. I have to admit that I've had a lemon planned from the start, so look for that in a later chapter

To Love You More

Chapter Twenty-Five

"So afraid to love you

More afraid to lose

Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose

Where once there was a darkness, a deep and endless night

You gave me everything you had

Oh you gave me life…"

-"I Will Remember You" Sarah McLachlan

"WHOA, whoa, whoa," Irvine said, clearly startled. "What did you just say?"

"I want to go out with you," Rinoa told him once more. "Isn't that what you want?"

Irvine stared at her, a mixture of hope and disbelief on his face. "Is it what you want?"

Rinoa nodded. "I've been thinking about everything that you said, and I'm willing to give this a shot. You're the only person who really stood by me throughout all of this. I…I really appreciate that. You've been so great to me, Irvine."

"Ah," Irvine said knowingly. "So it's more of a pity date, then."

"No, that's not it at all! I admit, part of me needs a distraction, but most of all, I want to see how this works. We really don't have anything to lose."

"No," he said slowly. "I suppose we don't. Okay, then. If you need a distraction, then I am more than happy to oblige. Sadly, though, I'm going to have to take a rain check on that date tonight."

Rinoa frowned, thinking that Irvine was having second thoughts. "You don't have to do this if you don't want to. Actually, I can't believe I've been so stupid. Of course you don't want to go out with me. You want to get back together with Selphie, don't you?"

Irvine rolled his eyes. "What did I already tell you? It's over between Selphie and me. Rinoa, I want to go out with you. I wish we could go out tonight, but that can't happen. Selphie wants all of us to eat together at the cafeteria tonight."

"What?" Rinoa said stupidly. "All of us?"

Irvine nodded. "That includes you. I guess, in a way, we'll have our date. Although I doubt it's what you were expecting."

"How about this? Why don't we go together tonight," Rinoa said with a smirk.

"Together?" Irvine repeated. "Are you sure that's such a good idea?"

"Why not?" she countered. "We have nothing to hide. Who cares if everyone knows we're dating? What do you think?"

"You really want to make a statement, don't you?"

Rinoa shook her head. "I'm just trying to make this more of a real date, but, you know, if you'd rather keep up your impression of being a ladies man…"

Irvine chuckled. "You win. I'll stop by your dorm at quarter of seven. I guess I'll be seeing you then."

Rinoa smiled once more. "I guess so."

TRUE to his word, Irvine showed up at Rinoa's dorm at six forty-five. Rinoa had opted to dress casually, wearing a dark pair of jeans, a white t-shirt, and a blue sweater over it. Her hair was down and she wore very little makeup. Regardless, she still looked gorgeous. She had to admit, though, that it felt strange to be opening the door for Irvine, instead of Squall.

"You look great," Irvine commented appreciatively as he took in Rinoa's appearance.

"Thank you," Rinoa said, surprised by the sudden blush she felt. This was just Irvine, after all. There was no need to feel awkward, right?

"Shall we?" Irvine said, a smirk on his face as he extended his hand to Rinoa.

She accepted, and they began their journey to the cafeteria. How many times had she taken the same route with Squall? Dinner, parties, meetings. Those thoughts would get her nowhere. Here she had a perfectly wonderful man escorting her to dinner. Why was it so difficult to focus her full attention on him? Who had come to get her after she had come out of her coma? Irvine. Who had always offered a shoulder to cry on? Irvine. Who was willing to be there for her, even when she felt so uncertain of everything? Irvine. No matter what, it was obvious that Irvine cared a great deal about her. Rinoa knew that she cared about him, as well. Couldn't that grow into something more? Sure, they hadn't had that instant connection that her and Squall had shared, but Irvine was reliable; a sure bet. Something that Squall had never been.

"Hey," Irvine said softly. "Are you okay?"

Rinoa looked up at him in confusion. "Yeah, fine. Sorry about that. I guess I just got lost in my thoughts."

The cowboy nodded. "Basically, pulling a 'Squall'." He winced the moment the words left his mouth. "Sorry about that. Not the best choice of words there."

Rinoa waved it off. "Hey, it's fine. There's no need to feel sorry. Squall is our friend, right? There's no reason why we can't discuss him."

Irvine could tell that Rinoa wasn't all too confident about that, but he chose to change the subject. "You know, I heard that tomorrow is supposed to be a great day. You up for that date after all?"

"That sounds great," Rinoa said sincerely. She found that, despite her reasoning in the beginning, she really did want to go out with him. Then, a sudden thought hit her. "I almost forgot. Tomorrow is the first day of my secretary job." She sighed. "Looks like I'll have to take a rain check this time."

"Well, hold on a minute. What are your hours?"

Rinoa shrugged. "I have no idea. I suppose that Squall will explain things further tomorrow. I'm really sorry, Irvine. I would have loved to do something tomorrow."

"You know," Irvine began thoughtfully, "There's always your lunch hour. We can do something then. Maybe, you know, give it another go?"

Rinoa nodded. "I'm game. I'll let you know what time I get off for lunch. What do you think? Café Fiori again?"

Irvine shook his head. "Actually, I have a different idea."

"Well," Rinoa prompted, "What is it?"

Irvine chuckled. "Sorry, but that's a surprise."

Rinoa crossed her arms in mock anger. "That is so unfair. You aren't even going to give me a hint?"

The cowboy shook his head. "Nope. Then that wouldn't be much of a surprise, would it?"

Rinoa shook her head in defeat as they reached the cafeteria. She was definitely intrigued as to what the surprise was, but she would have to wait until the next day to find out. Right now, all she had to worry about was having a quiet dinner. Ha! Who was she kidding? The only way the dinner would be quiet would be from awkwardness. Although, that was pretty unlikely with Selphie in the picture. Speaking of Selphie, Rinoa spotted her waving them over from a table in the center of the room.

"Rinoa, Irvine, over here!" she called energetically.

As they arrived at the table and took their seats, Rinoa couldn't help noticing that Squall and Quistis were the only ones missing. Had Squall refused to come? That wouldn't exactly be surprising. There had been plenty of times where Rinoa practically had to drag Squall to social events. She had always managed to get through to him, though. It made her wonder if Quistis would be able to succeed tonight. The thought had barely left her head when she spotted Quistis dragging a reluctant Squall into the cafeteria. It looks like Quistis had succeeded, after all. Why did that realization cause a dull ache in Rinoa's chest?

"Sorry everyone," Quistis said as she took a seat next to Squall. "Squall had some paperwork to finish up in his office. Isn't that right, Squall?" She looked at him pointedly.

"Yeah," he said absently. "Sorry."

"Hey, no problem," Selphie said. "Now that everyone's here, we can start eating. I hope you all like hotdogs because, for once, that's what we're having."

Zell's eyes immediately lit up. "Did you say hotdogs?" Selphie nodded. "How did you manage that one? The hotdogs have been sold out for weeks!"

Selphie shrugged. "Let's just say that I have 'connections'."

"Well, let's eat then, eh?" Irvine said. "I'm starving!"

Everyone was fairly quiet at the start of the meal. For some, the silence was welcome, but for others, it proved to be awkward. Rinoa belonged to the latter group. At least they had an excuse to be quiet while they were eating, but what would happen when everyone was done? Thankfully, Rinoa never had to find out, as Selphie saved the day once again.

"So, has everyone heard Quistis' good news? She's going to be studying under Dr. Kadowaki. Isn't that great?"

The others congratulated her, causing much embarrassment on Quistis' part. "Thank you," she said modestly. "It really isn't that big of a deal, though."

"Of course it is," Selphie assured her. "We're looking at the future doctor of Balamb Garden!"

"Well, I'm not so sure about that, but thank you, anyway."

Irvine stood up suddenly. "Excuse me for a minute. I'll be right back."

Rinoa watched him go, feeling as if she had just lost her only ally. At least with Irvine, she had had someone in her corner. Now, she felt more alone than ever. She quickly glanced at Squall and found that he was having just about as much fun as her. His gaze was fixed on the plate in front of him and he seemed to be tuning everyone out. Rinoa found herself wondering what he was thinking about.

"Who wants a beer?" Rinoa looked up to see Irvine standing beside her, a twelve pack in his hand. "I snuck this in just for you guys. So, who wants one?"

"I do," Rinoa said, surprising herself and everyone else at the table. She had never been a drinker.

"Sure thing," Irvine said as he handed her a bottle. "Anyone else?"

"I'll take one," Squall said suddenly. The way the night was going, he was going to need it.

Irvine handed a bottle to Squall, and then sat down, popping open a bottle for himself. "If anyone else wants one, just say the word."

Rinoa took a swig of her beer, letting the bitter taste wash over her. "So, Quistis," she began suddenly, "Does this new job of yours mean that you're giving up instructing?"

Quistis shook her head. "Oh, definitely not. I could never quit teaching. I love it too much."

Rinoa gulped down some more beer, enjoying the feeling it gave her. "I see. It must have been hell when you got fired, then, huh?"

Squall looked at Rinoa, a bit disbelieving of what she had just said. Was that really Rinoa, or was it the alcohol talking? Rinoa had never been able to handle alcohol, no matter how small the amount. Squall remembered, with amusement, the time Rinoa had had a glass of wine and gotten completely drunk. That night had certainly been…interesting.

"It certainly wasn't an experience I would like to relive," Quistis said as calmly as possible. "I was inexperienced back then. I would like to think that I've since learned a few things."

"Oh, I think you have," Rinoa said in a pleasant voice. "Besides, it must be great to have such a supportive husband."

Everyone at the table now had their eyes glued to the blonde and the brunette. This conversation was going nowhere good fast. They couldn't help but become fascinated with the two, wondering what would happen next. Someone was sure to lose their composure. The question was, which woman would be the first?

"Oh, it is," Quistis assured her in an equally pleasant tone. She wasn't sure what game Rinoa was trying to play, but she could go ahead and play right back. "Having a husband is wonderful. You know, Rinoa, I just hope that one day you will be able to find true love, as well." She reached for Squall's hand in affection. Squall stared at his ex-girlfriend, an unreadable expression on his face.

"Yeah," Rinoa said, her eyes locked on Quistis'. "I wish the same for you." With that said, she hastily stood up. "Thanks for dinner, Selphie. It was great." She turned, and quickly left the cafeteria, the image of Squall's stare fresh in her mind.

THE sunlight poured through the window; specks of light darting around the room. Rinoa groaned as she felt the sunlight hit her face. She slowly opened her eyes, squinting against the brightness. It wasn't supposed to be that bright in there, was it? Her eyes traveled towards the window, and she realized that she had forgotten to close the blinds last night. At the thought of the previous night, she groaned once more, massaging her forehead. She found that she had developed a migraine, probably from consuming that beer so fast. Alcohol had never really sat well with her to begin with. Oh, God, she thought suddenly. Quistis! How could I have said that to her? She had no time to contemplate her actions further as she realized that she was supposed to be in Squall's office in fifteen minutes.

"Shit!" Rinoa cursed as she sprang up from her bed, quickly raiding her closet. After a few minutes, she settled on a denim knee-length skirt and a black ruffled top. She wanted to make a good impression on her first day. Although, there was always the possibility that Squall has reconsidered after what she had said at dinner. She silently vowed never to touch alcohol again. It only led to trouble. Squall was sure to be less than pleased with the comments she had made to his wife. Well, what was done was done. Nothing she did now could change that. The only thing to do was hold her head up high and proceed with her life.

That was why, minutes later, she stood outside of Squall's office, breathless from sprinting all the way up there. She quickly smoothed her hair, which she was sure was a frizzy mess by now. Miraculously, though, Squall's office was dark. Ha! Beat him! she thought triumphantly. As if one cue, Rinoa heard heavy footsteps, followed by Squall walking down the hall towards her. As usual, his expression was unreadable. He wordlessly unlocked the door, not acknowledging her in the least. Rinoa was not sure if she should follow, but what other option did she have? She entered the room and watched as Squall walked over to his desk and powered on his computer. Finally, he turned to her, as if just noticing she was there.

"How did you sleep last night?" he asked suddenly.

Rinoa was beyond surprised. That was the last thing she had expected him to say. She doubted that she would have been more surprised is he had suddenly broken out in song. Well, maybe that was a slight exaggeration. "Fine. Why?"

Squall shrugged. "I just remembered the last time you drank. You were throwing up all night."

Rinoa winced as she, too, remembered that night. She also remembered how tenderly Squall had cared for her that night. "Thankfully, nothing like that happened. I feel fine, except for the pounding in my head. And," she said, wincing once more, "Making a complete fool of myself. You're mad at me, aren't you?"

"Would you be surprised if I said no?"

Rinoa nodded. "Very."

"Well, I guess you're giving to be surprised, then, because I'm not mad at you."

"I don't understand you," Rinoa told him. "I insulted your wife, Squall! In front of all of our friends. How could you not be mad at me?"

Squall waved that aside. "I know that it was the alcohol talking, not you. I don't think I've ever seen someone lose their composure so fast."

Rinoa rubbed her forehead wearily. "Regardless, I had no right to say those things to Quistis."

Squall nodded. "You're right, but you're forgetting that she had no right to say what she did to you. Unlike you, she was not intoxicated."

Rinoa just shook her head. It was impossible to talk to him rationally when he insisted to stick up for her. How the hell was she supposed to forget about him? He sure wasn't making this any easier on her. "Well, what do you want me to do? I'm here to start my job, aren't I?"

Squall nodded again. "Here are some papers detailing your hours and what you are required to do. You have an hour off from twelve to one for lunch."

"So I get off at five?" Rinoa verified as she looked over the papers.

"Yes, except for today. You can leave for the day at twelve."

Rinoa frowned. "What's so special about today that I get to leave early?"

"Nothing. I just figured that you could use the rest."

"Oh," she said quietly. "Well, thank you."

Squall looked away, using everything in his power to stop himself from pulling her towards him and simply holding her. He missed the feel of her arms around him. "Your, uh, desk is right out here." Squall led her to an empty desk located in an area in the center of all of the offices. "I guess I'll leave you to get settled in."

Rinoa nodded. "Thank you for giving me this job, Squall. It really does mean a lot to me."

Squall scratched the back of his head uncomfortably. "I, uh-" He stopped as he heard incoming footsteps. He turned to see Quistis approaching.

"Squall, can I talk to you for a minute?" Quistis then noticed that Rinoa was standing there. "Oh, hello, Rinoa," Quistis said coldly.

"Hello, Quistis," Rinoa returned, her voice equally as cold.

Quistis had been extremely insulted at Rinoa's remarks at dinner the previous night, drunk or not. She decided to continue their little game by placing her hand in Squall's. "I promise this won't take long," she told Squall, grinning up at him.

Squall looked helplessly at Rinoa. "Are you going to be okay?"

Rinoa waved him off. "I've done this before, remember?" However, she couldn't help adding, "If you need anything, anything, I'll be right out here."

Quistis shot Rinoa a death glare as she disappeared into Squall's office. Rinoa sighed. Twelve o'clock couldn't come soon enough.