A/N: I know. This has taken forever. Here's the final chapter...sorry to say I deleted Existentialism at Degrassi, because I completely lost focus on it. I apologize for that. However I have three new stories in the works...all slash, and I hope you'll enjoy those. One has a requested triangle between Paige, Alex, and Ellie. The other is the road trip sequel to rebel yell. The last one, I'm sure, will be very popular. An AU story where everyone at Degrassi is gay (aside from all the married teachers)
Marco hadn't spoke to or seen Dylan for months. He was trying his hardest not to think about him either. But I saw the hurt in his eyes. Alex and I made sure to stay with him as often as possible. Even then, we thought he'd get upset seeing our relationship bloom before his eyes. Truth was, things between Alex and I were great. Everyone at school found out, and there was more support than I was counting on.
But then there was the day Alex told me she wanted to move out.
"Why?" I asked, feeling a stab of anger.
"Because this is too much to take. I'm afraid we'll get sick of each other. And my mom wants me back home. I bet your mom would be happy to have you back, too. Ellie...it's not going to work."
"What isn't? Living here? Or dating me?" I was starting to get upset. I felt like she was dumping me. She took my hand, looking at my sympathetically.
"Just living here. I'm sorry. I've got my stuff packed up and I'm moving out today." She explained. I pulled away from her, stomping off into the bedroom and slamming the door. I sat down on the bed, and heard her footsteps leading this way. She was following me. My head was buried in my hands when she joined me on the bed.
Alex pulled my hands off of my face, frowning when she saw the tears spilling out. She cupped my face in her hands, giving me a short kiss.
"Ellie, stop...please, don't cry. I'm not breaking up with you. I'd have to be an idiot to do that. It's just, I miss home. Who are we kidding? We still have 2 years left of high school. We can't live together. If we're still together when we graduate...we can live together then. We don't need to be in a hurry. We have all the time in the world." Her voice was reassuring, but I didn't want to listen. I sniffled, my body collapsing against hers. She threw her arms around me as I shook with sobs.
"I just don't want to lose you." I choked out, putting my arms around her shoulders and hugging her tight. She stroked my hair, making quiet shhing noises.
"It's okay. You can't. But living together like this is moving too fast. We haven't been dating long enough to do this. All of this is new to us. Both of us. I think it would be better if we didn't live together. Okay?"
I let go of her, nodding my head slowly. "Okay."
and we can talk all night
and i will sing you lullabies
I helped Alex take her stuff out to her car, and stood there, frozen. She looked at me, and extended her hand. I took it, and she smiled, walking towards me. I jerked my head to the side, not willing to look at her. She gave me a warm hug, and a kiss on the cheek.
"I love you." She whispered into my ear, untangling herself from me and getting into her car. She started it, and over the revv of the engine, I shouted.
"I LOVE YOU TOO!" But I don't think she heard me.
I collapsed to the ground as she drove away, shaking with shivers. I was starting to realize that life wasn't just fun. Sometimes you had to let go of people in order to do what is best. I needed to move back in with my mom. Even though I didn't want to. I inched slowly into the apartment, picking up the phone.
I stared at it for a moment, and then dialed my landlord's number.
Bueller ran towards me, scampering over my feet. I giggled, dropping the phone and scooping him up in my arms. I'd been almost neglecting him lately. Been so busy with Alex and everything else. I was hoping my mom would let me bring him to the house because I couldn't just give him away.
I planted a kiss on Bueller's furry head and sat him back down, quickly grabbing the phone as the landlord answered. I informed him he was getting the 2 weeks notice. He grunted a couple times, and I hung up. I packed up my things, and called my mother. She was happy to hear I was coming home. She wanted me to right away. She said she'd pick me up in a couple hours and we'd go out to eat. I was going to move back in with my mother, and eventually in two weeks, the apartment would go up for rent to someone else. I sighed, sitting on the couch. I heard a knock on the door and I breathed deeply, walking towards it and opening it. I braced myself as my mother threw her arms around me. She started crying.
"I missed you so much, honey." She sniffled, looking down at Ferret Bueller. Her facial expression changed. "What's that?"
"That's Bueller! He's my ferret. I was meaning to ask you, can I please take him home with me? I can't give him away. I love him." Her facial expression softened, and she nodded.
"I heard something interesting today." She mentioned as we were driving to the restaurant. "You're dating someone."
I swallowed roughly, leaning back into my seat nervously. "Uh..y-yeah." I stuttered, scared to death of my mother at that moment. She just smiled.
"That's good, honey. I'll have to meet her soon." My mom was acting like it was nothing. Like it was perfectly normal for her daughter to date a girl. I looked at her, somewhat surprised. She smiled, and so did I.
Maybe things wouldn't be so bad after all.
We went inside the restaurant, and ordered our food. I promised mom I'd be back in a few minutes, and went outside to call Alex.
"Hello?" It was a relief to hear her voice. Now that I wasn't angry at her for moving out. It was funny how I missed her so much already. Probably because we weren't spending every waking moment together.
"Alex, hey. My mom just picked me up, and I'm moving back in."
I heard the smile in her voice. "That's wonderful, Ellie," Her voice quieted. "I miss you." I felt aching in my heart when I heard her tone. She really meant it.
"I miss you too. Listen, my mom...she knows. About us. She's not angry at all. In fact, she wants to meet you!" I couldn't keep the excitement out of my voice. Life was getting better and better!
not in every arrow is pointed straight at your heart
sorry for the time i said too much
i was so afraid that you would fall out of touch
"Ellie, that's...wow. I don't know." I heard her doubting. I knew she was afraid. She wasn't good with making first impressions on people.
"My mom's not that scary. Come on. What do you say we go out to dinner tomorrow night? Please? For me?"
She sighed. "Okay. Call me with the details later. I have to go."
"Me too."
"Bye."
I hung up the phone, satisfied. I walked back into the restaurant, joining my mother at the table. I explained about Alex, and she seemed quite enthused. She said tomorrow was great for her. She was excited to "see the girl that made her daughter so happy". I thought that was sweet. The food came, and mother and I ate and talked, like we'd never been apart at all. It was nice to be with her when she wasn't drunk. She was finally sober. I was entirely thankful for that.
I smiled as I ate, pleased with everything in my life right now.
I went back to my house, loving the feeling. It felt so much better than the apartment. I sunk into my bed, and my mother tucked me in, planting a kiss on my forehead. I dozed off before she had the chance to close the door.
The next day, I woke up. I took a hot shower, and wrapped myself in a green towel. Smiling to myself, I picked up the phone and called Alex.
"Dinner's going to be at 6. Yep. Italian restaurant. I know. Dressing up? I don't know. I mean we're not going to be wearing our skank clothes or anything..."
I heard her cute laugh at the other end of the phone. It was all set up. I hung up the phone, and walked towards my closet. I picked out a close-fitting black t-shirt and a pair of plaid dress pants. I slipped on these clothes, and laid back down on my bed.
Things were going so well lately. It was starting to scare me. I was afraid I was being prepared for something awful to happen. I closed my eyes, thinking. I felt something jump on me, and was thrilled to be face-to-face with my loveable ferret. He was so cute. I cuddled with him, getting a little of ferret hair on my outfit. I didn't mind. I was laughing when my mother walked in. She smiled.
"Ellie. It's time to pick her up." I knew mom was anxious. She was about to meet someone who was entirely important in my life. I knew how much she'd hated Sean. That made me a bit worried. Then again, Sean and Alex weren't the same person.
Thank god.
I was surprised when I saw Alex walking towards the car. She was wearing a tasteful black skirt and a white dressy shirt. I got out of the car, practically running towards her. She threw her arms around my neck. We hugged briefly.
"You look amazing." I whispered. She kissed me quickly.
"It's for you." I felt my face burn as Alex and I got into the back of the car. I saw my mom smile approvingly in the mirror.
"Nice to meet you, Alex."
"Nice to meet you too, Mrs. Nash." I curled my fingers over my girlfriend's, feeling more comfortable than ever in my life. I listened as the two most important people in my life had small talk. It was fun to hear what they talked about.
In no time, we were at the restaurant. We all ordered. I was ready for some spaghetti! I saw the smiles on my mom and Alex's faces. It made everything worth it.
I looked to Alex. "I love you." I mouthed. Her smile widened, and she spoke back with her eyes. I smiled too, loving the way things were going in my life.
Just when I thought things couldn't get any better, my cell phone rang.
"Dad's coming home?"
i will sing you
lullabies
-End A/N: Thought you'd like that ending. SUCH a fluffy chapter. Mmmm. The end.