Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy VIII....
Author's Note: Thank you so much to everyone that reviewed the last chapter! I don't feel quite so bad about it now. Also, sorry for the delay with this chapter, but I've had midterms this past week, so I've been pretty busy studying. Thanks again!
To Love You More
Chapter Thirty-Two
"Time, it's gone so fast, all it took was one night back,
to crash it all into the ground,
Now two gone deep in a predictable last scene,
I never thought it'd be you and me
So what do we do?
I tell you I'm afraid just like you,
but by the time we're done thinking it's gone,
So don't waste your life,
just look at me and remember the time,
the time my angel came to stay
Take me away..."
-"Blind Sight" Ryan Cabrera
IRVINE stared at his breakfast of bacon and eggs, not feeling that it was very appetizing. The events of the previous night, and what Rinoa had said to him, kept playing over in his head. He knew that Rinoa hadn't meant to intentionally hurt him, but it didn't change the fact that she had. Still, he had meant what he had said to her. He fully intended to continue with their friendship. Like he had told her, they had had their fun, and it was great while it had lasted. Since he apparently couldn't offer her more than friendship, he was willing to offer her just that. Besides, as much as he had cared for her, he had never really expected the relationship to last that long. There was only one person he had ever seen forever with, and that was...
"Selphie," Irvine said, startled, as the petite brunette took a seat across from him.
"Hey, Irvine," Selphie said, smiling in greeting. "I haven't seen you in awhile, so I thought I'd say hi. It's been so crazy lately with planning the wedding, and I know you've been busy with Rinoa. Speaking of which, how has she been doing? She's another person I've been meaning to talk to."
"Actually," Irvine began slowly, "I'm not sure how she's doing right now. We...broke up last night."
Selphie's eyes widened. "Oh, Irvine, I'm so sorry!"
He waved it aside. "No, don't worry about it. Rinoa and me are better off just being friends."
"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked gently.
Irvine shook his head. "There really isn't anything to talk about. I should have realized it before, but I guess I turned a blind eye."
Selphie frowned. "What are you talking about? Realized what?"
"Rinoa is still in love with Squall, and I'm willing to bet that Squall is still in love with her. I wish they would just admit it to each other and get it over with. They both deserve to be happy, and they've gone through with this ruse long enough."
"You sound genuine about that," Selphie said, smiling. "You're forgetting one thing, though. Quistis."
The cowboy smiled ruefully. "Why do you think that she left? If you ask me, she knows that it's over. It's only a matter of time before this whole thing explodes and becomes public news."
Selphie sighed. "None of this ever should have happened. How could fate have been so cruel, Irvine?"
He shrugged. "That's fate for ya."
"It looks like I'll be staying here for much longer than I ever anticipated," she told him. "I don't think I could go back to Trabia when I know things are so complicated here."
"Why did you leave, Selphie?"
"Trabia? To come and see Rinoa, of course."
"No, that's not what I meant. Why did you leave here? Why did you leave me?"
"Irvine," Selphie said, startled. "I thought we were going to forget about the past."
"Do you really want to forget about us, Selphie? About everything we had?"
"Why are you getting into this all of a sudden?" she questioned.
"You never gave me answers, Selphie. I want you to give them to me now."
Selphie shook her head. "I can't have this discussion with you right now, Irvine. I only stopped by to say hi. There's still so much to handle with Zell and Carrie's wedding, and I still have to call Trabia Garden..."
"At least let me help you," Irvine insisted. "You can't handle this whole wedding by yourself."
"No, really, Irvine, I'm fine," she said, standing up. "I'll see you around." Waving, she exited the cafeteria. leaving behind a very puzzled Irvine.
RINOA walked down the halls of Balamb Garden, humming to herself happily. Everything seemed to be especially beautiful in the world right then. The sun was pouring through the windows, bathing the Garden in a warm, glowing light.
As Rinoa walked down the hall, she couldn't help but feel as if she was the happiest girl alive. On her finger was the beautiful ring that Squall had given her, asking her to become his wife. It had been a proposal that she had always dreamed about, and she couldn't wait to start planning the wedding. All of their friends and family would be there, and it would be perfect! Beaming, Rinoa rounded the corner, and ended up bumping right into Quistis.
"Oops, sorry, Quistis!" Rinoa apologized, smiling sheepishly. "My head seems to be in the clouds today."
Quistis glared at her, a look of pure venom distorting her features. "Why don't you watch where you're going, instead of dreaming about my husband."
Rinoa's smile instantly vanished at Quistis' words. "What are you talking about?" she asked, extremely confused. "You're not married."
The look in Quistis' eyes only got darker at Rinoa's words. "How dare you! Maybe in your sick little head, you twisted things around to hide reality, but Squall is my husband, not yours."
What Quistis had just said was so outrageous that Rinoa burst out laughing. "Quistis, are you crazy? I think you've been staying up too late grading those papers. Look at the ring on my finger. Squall and I are engaged." She held out her hand to show Quistis the ring.
This time, it was Quistis who burst out laughing. "I think you're the one who's going crazy, Rinoa, because there's nothing on your finger." Rinoa looked down at her hand and gasped when she realized that Quistis was right. The ring was gone. "Maybe it's my hand you should be looking at." Quistis held out her hand, revealing a gorgeous diamond ring.
"W-What's going on?" Rinoa asked, on the verge of tears.
"What's going on, my dear Rinoa, is that you seduced my husband into sleeping with you!" she shrieked. "You'll never get it into your head that he loves me, not you! You think I don't know the game you're trying to play? He might have fallen for your trap last night, but he's realized that you're nothing but a whore, and I'm the only woman he's ever wanted!"
"No," Rinoa said, shaking her head. "You don't know what you're talking about!"
"Don't I? Only a whore would sleep with a married man, Rinoa, and that is exactly what you are! A whore!"
"No!" Rinoa screamed. "No!"
Rinoa's eyes shot open and she bit back a scream. Her breath was ragged, and it took her a few minutes to calm down and realize where she was; Squall's room. The events of the previous night suddenly came rushing back, along with a plethora of emotions. She was still tangled up in Squall's arms, with him holding onto her protectively. Shifting slightly, she turned so that she was facing him. His eyes were still closed, a serene expression on his face.
Rinoa smiled despite herself. She had always loved watching him sleep. Her smile faltered as she realized that this was probably the last time that she would ever have the liberty of watching him sleep like this. Despite all that they had confessed last night, there was no future for them. Her dream alone should have been proof of that. If Rinoa stayed with Squall, then she would become the adulteress, the other woman. No, never the other woman. She wanted all of Squall, or she wanted nothing at all. This was it, she couldn't waver. There was no way that she could ask Squall to leave Quistis for her.
Suddenly, she felt Squall move, and then his blue eyes were staring back at her. "Hey," he whispered, a smile playing about his lips. God, how he had missed her.
"Hey," Rinoa said, forcing a smile. How was she going to break the news to Squall when he looked so happy? When she felt so right?
Squall absently tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "God, you're beautiful," he said, leaning over to kiss her.
Rinoa closed her eyes. It wouldn't hurt to enjoy this for a few more minutes, would it? Quistis' face suddenly popped into Rinoa's head. Yes, it would. "Squall," Rinoa said, opening her eyes and pulling away, "I should go."
"I can take the day off," he told her. "I don't want you to go."
Rinoa's heart was melting. A day alone with Squall sounded wonderful, but it was impossible. She had to get a hold of herself and end this before it got any further. "You know I can't stay, Squall." She got up, pulling the sheet around her. "We made a mistake last night. This can never happen again."
Squall's face twisted into one of extreme pain. "You don't mean that."
"Yes, Squall, I do," Rinoa said, refusing to meet his gaze.
"What about everything that happened between us last night? Was that all a lie to you? I thought you loved me."
"I do love you, Squall. That is why we have to end this. Both of us are just going to end up hurt. Your place is with Quistis."
"I told you that I don't love her, Rinoa. What more do you want from me?"
"That's just it, Squall. I don't want anything from you. We need to pretend that this never happened and carry on as usual. Quistis loves you and she is my friend. That is enough for me. I refuse to hurt her any further then I already have." She began to search for her clothes.
"So what you're saying," Squall said angrily, "Is that you want to forget any of this ever happened. Everything that happened between us last night! Is that what you're saying?" he demanded.
Rinoa nodded. "I think that would be best."
"Well, I don't!" Squall exclaimed. "I am not going to spend the rest of my life living a lie!"
Rinoa sighed, finally locating her undergarments and quickly slipping them on. She turned to face him, tears in her eyes. "Listen to me, Squall. You are married to one of my best friends. I am not going to let this go any further because it would destroy her. You need to talk to Quistis, come to a mutual decision, and then see how things go from there. I am not going to be the other woman."
Squall, too, sighed, knowing that what she was saying was true. No matter how painful that reality was, it was still a reality. "Okay," Squall said, his voice cold. "We'll pretend this never happened."
Rinoa nodded. "Thank you." She picked her dress up off of the floor and pulled it over her head. Before she could even begin to reach for the zipper, Squall's hands were there, gently doing the job for her. She turned to face him then, a look of regret and loss written all over her face. It was taking all of her self control not to jump right back into his arms and stay with him forever. Finally turning away, she headed for the door. Just as she was about to turn the knob, Squall called out to her.
"Rinoa, wait."
She turned around, a quizzical look on her face. This was already so incredibly hard. Was it necessary to delay it even further? "What is it?"
"You can't leave here looking like that if you want to keep this a secret," he pointed out.
Rinoa realized that he was right. If she left his room wearing her wrinkled and water-stained dress, and looking as disheveled as she did, rumors were bound to spring up all over Garden. Rumors that were sure to eventually get back to Quistis, which is exactly what she was trying to avoid. What other option was there, though? She couldn't exactly leave his room naked! The only other option would be to wear some of Squall's old clothes, but had he kept any of them here? Even if he had, wouldn't it look even more suspicious to be seen wearing Squall's clothes, than wearing the dress?
"What should I do?" she asked, looking around the room as if it would offer a solution. "Regardless of what I wear, someone is bound to see me leaving your room."
She was right, of course, but there had to be some other solution. Personally, he didn't care what the Garden population had to say about him, but he knew it would hurt Rinoa, and he was willing to do anything to protect her. "I have an idea," he announced suddenly. "I'll make up some excuse over the PA system that will force everyone to temporarily evacuate the building. You can sneak out of here then, an no one will see you."
Rinoa stared at him with admiration. "Squall, you are brilliant." Once again, she resisted the urge to jump into his arms."
He offered her a wry smile and quickly finished getting dressed. "You won't be here when I get back, so..." he trailed off, unsure of what to say.
"I know, Squall. I feel the same way." She smiled at him, holding back tears. "If there was any other way..."
He nodded in understanding, and, with three quick strides, he was gone.
SEIFER climbed the steps to the second floor of the Breezy Hotel feeling pretty confident. To his complete surprise, it had been good to see Quistis the other day. After being in FH for the past few years with no one but Raijin and Fujin for company, it had been refreshing to see an old face. He would never admit it, but he had always admired the blonde. She had always been so in charge of her life, knowing exactly what she wanted and how to get it. After hearing about how Squall had treated her, Seifer felt a certain anger toward his old rival that he had not felt in a long time.
Realizing that he had reached the second floor, Seifer slowed his pace, in search of room two-twenty. He had not written it down, feeling no need to since he had memorized it the moment Quistis had told it to him. Despite his charming looks, it wasn't every day that a lady offered him her room number. In fact, it had been a fairly long time since Seifer had had a relationship, friendly or otherwise, with the opposite sex. His last relationship had ended over a year ago to a brunette named Kira. Kira had turned out to be too high maintenance for Seifer. Besides, she had been looking to settle down, and he just wasn't ready for that back then.
There it was, right in front of him. Room number two-twenty stared him down. Seifer smirked, not feeling very intimidated. He usually had the upper hand in relationships, not that he and Quistis had a relationship, per se. However, Seifer had enough confidence not to be too worried. He raised his fist and knocked on the door.
A moment later, the door swung open and Quistis stood there, wearing a long white skirt with a pink floral pattern, and a plain white, short-sleeved top. In her hand was a book, and it was obvious that she had been reading before he had knocked, since she was also wearing her glasses.
"Seifer," she said, sounding surprised.
"Hello, Quistis. Why do you seem so shocked to see me? I told you I'd be coming to see you, and you opened the door readily enough. Unless," he said, smirking, "You were expecting someone else."
"Actually, I was," Quistis told him, her eyes twinkling with amusement.
"Oh," Seifer said, trying not to sound too disappointed. "And who would this person be?"
"I don't see how that's any of your business, Seifer."
Before Seifer could come up with something witty to say, room service arrived in front of Quistis' room with a cart of food.
"Here you are, Madam," the boy pushing the cart announced. "Enjoy."
Seifer turned toward Quistis and saw that she had turned three shades of red. "Wow, Quistis, I didn't know you went after men so young." He grinned.
Quistis glared at him. "You caught me, okay? So why, exactly, are you here?"
"I told you already that I was going to come and see you. I figured we could go out for lunch, but it looks like you've already got that covered. So, are you going to ask me to join you?"
"Has anyone ever told you how arrogant you are?" Quistis asked.
Seifer shrugged. "One or two."
Rolling her eyes, Quistis stepped aside, allowing Seifer entrance to the room. "I didn't order very much," she pointed out. "But you can't exactly complain, since you weren't invited in the first place."
"I don't mind. Anything's better than more fish." He lifted up the covers on the food, revealing a garden salad, turkey sandwich on whole wheat bread, and a fruit salad. Seifer looked up at her in disbelief. "Are you kidding me?"
"You just agreed that you weren't going to complain," she pointed out.
"That was before you told me that you were a health freak!"
"I am not a health freak. I'll eat the salad, and you can have the sandwich. Take it or leave it."
Grumbling, Seifer grabbed the plate with the sandwich on it and took a seat in an empty chair. Quistis grabbed her salad and sat opposite him, a smug look on her face.
"So, Quistis, do you have any idea when you'll be leaving this island paradise?"
Quistis shrugged. "Most likely by the end of the week. I have to be back for Zell's wedding."
Seifer almost choked. "Hold on, did you just say that Chicken Wuss is getting married?"
"If by Chicken Wuss, you are referring to Zell, then yes, that's exactly what I said."
"Wow, you weren't kidding when you said things had changed. Chicken Wuss getting married." He shook his head. "I still can't picture it."
Quistis rolled her eyes. "Can you please refrain from calling him that? You know, I bet you two could have been really good friends if you hadn't wasted your time constantly insulting him."
Seifer laughed. "Yeah, that would be the day! I'd have a better chance of getting along with Commander Puberty."
Quistis shot him a look. "What did I just say?"
Seifer shrugged, causing another glare from Quistis. "Okay, fine. I'll stop using nicknames."
"Thank you," she said, looking pleased.
"Here's another question for you. What are you doing tomorrow?"
"Why?" she asked suspiciously.
"Meet me at the pier around ten, and I'll show you."
Quistis narrowed her eyes. "What are you up to?"
"Nothing," he said, standing up. "Just be there."
"Where are you going?" she asked, upon seeing him walking toward the door.
"I have to get back. I know you're awfully disappointed." He grinned. "Tomorrow morning at the docks. Ten o'clock. See ya."
Just like that, he was gone, leaving Quistis shocked to find that she actually was disappointed. What was the world coming to?
"THIS is Commander Leonhart speaking. We have reason to believe that there could be a gas leak in the basement level of this facility. For safety purposes, all Garden members are ordered to evacuate this building until further notice. Your cooperation is essential for this problem to be resolved quickly. Thank you."
Rinoa couldn't help but smile at Squall's announcement. He had sounded so cool and professional that he almost had her convinced that there was a gas leak. She could hear the footsteps of students hurrying down the hall and out of the building. It would be safe to leave soon.
As Rinoa waited by the door, her mind went over everything that had happened in the past twenty-four hours. Breaking up with Irvine, Squall's admission that he loved her, her admission of the same, making love, and then ending things just minutes ago. Her emotions were so conflicted. On one hand, she was ecstatic from everything Squall had told her, and it felt wonderful to have finally admitted everything to him. Plus, the previous night had been, to put it mildly, amazing. She had never even dreamed how wonderful it would be to be with Squall again. On the other hand, she felt an incredible amount of guilt. If Quistis found out about what had happened between them, Rinoa doubted that the blonde would ever want to lay eyes on her again.
Ending things had been the obvious thing to do. Of course it hurt terribly, but Rinoa knew in her heart that they would somehow find their way back to each other. They always did. Squall didn't love Quistis, and he was going to have to start being honest with her. Even if they couldn't be together now, Rinoa was confident that it would not remain that way forever. That was why, on a day when she should be feeling crushed, she chose to remain optimistic. Negativity wasn't going to get her anywhere.
Rinoa suddenly pressed her ear to the door. As she had thought, the footsteps had now stopped, and the hall was quiet. She cautiously opened the door, careful not to make an excessive amount of noise, and peeked her head out. As the silence suggested, the hall was deserted. Breathing a sigh of relief, she quickly sprinted down the hall, not stopping until she reached her room, unlocked the door, and heard the door close behind her.
From behind a pillar in the hall, Irvine stared at the scene, unsure of what he was feeling. He had seen Rinoa leave Squall's old dorm, still in her dress from the previous night. Irvine wasn't someone to jump to conclusions, but there weren't exactly a lot of other plausible scenarios other than the one he was thinking. All he could think about in that moment was that if word got out about this, the shit was going to hit the fan.