I just wanted to say that this is an emotional chapter for Lucas. So if he does something out of character just remember that he's been through a lot and is very emotional. Anyways I hope you enjoy. Thanks.

Chapter Thirty Two

Mixed Emotions

Brooke walked into her house and was happy to see that Nathan was still there.

Nathan sat on the couch in the living room watching T.V. He looked up when he heard the door open and shut and saw Brooke walk in. He was about to go back to watching T.V. when he saw Brooke rush to the couch and into his arms. Nathan wrapped his arms around her, not knowing what was going on. Soon he felt her burst into tears. He had no idea what had gotten her so upset, but only one name came to mind. Lucas. It had to be him that was making her cry. He was probably the only one who had the power to hurt her this much. He felt her slowly start to pull away. Her eyes were red and she looked incredibly sad."Hey B. What's going on? Are you okay?"he hoped that what ever was bothering her, she'd tell him.

"Tell me I'm stupid. Tell me this is stupid."said Brooke wiping away her tears. She was feeling a lot better now. She just needed a good cry.

"I'm sorry Brooke, but I can't do that. Your not stupid and I don't know what this is, so I don't know if it's stupid."

"Tell me it's stupid to want to forgive Peyton. Tell me everything she did was completely unforgivable and I'm better off now that she's out of my life."

"I can't do that Brooke. Sure she's done some horrible things to you, but you and only you know if it's forgivable or not. If you can seriously get passed everything and be friends with her, then that would be great, but only you know what your ready to do."

"That's just it. I don't know what to do. I know that everything she did was horrible and when I think back to it all,I find myself hating her all over again, but then I think back to everything else we've been through and I miss her. We've had so much more good stuff then bad. She's my best friend. We've known each other since we were little. How am I supposed to just cut her out of my life? How am I supposed to never talk to her again? The longest we've ever gone without talking has been a day. This past month and a half has been hell without her."

"Brooke if you want to forgive her then do it. If you can truly look past what she has done and be friends again, then that's amazing. It would just go to show that you are an amazing person with a big heart."

Brooke looked at him and gave him a quick smile before continuing to talk."But even though this past month or so has been hell and I miss her, how do I know forgiving her won't also turn out to be hell?"

"I don't know the answer to that Brooke."

"If I forgive her will I ever be able to trust her again? I mean how will I feel every time I see her and Lucas together? Will I always be jealous and suspicious?"asked Brooke not really expecting answers to her questions.

"Only you know those answers."

Brooke continued her rant, not even acknowledging Nathan."But if I don't forgive her, am I supposed to go the rest of my life without my best friend? What if Peyton needs me to help her turn her life around? What if she needs me to help her make things right? But then again what if I do all of that and she still ends up stabbing me in the back again? It's a possibility seeing how she's done it before."Brooke took a much needed deep breath after saying all that.

"Brooke I don't know if I can help you with this. You have given really good points on why you should and shouldn't forgive her. You just need to ask yourself if you can truly forgive her and get passed everything she did because if you can't then don't even bother trying."

"That's the thing, I don't know if I can do that. I mean one minute I can't stand her and want to wring her neck, but then the next she tells me she's sorry and starts to cry and all I want to do is hug her and tell her it's okay. I have always hated it when she cried. I always wanted to stop her pain and make it go away. I don't know maybe I'm just too sensitive and care too much about other people."

"You are very sensitive and you do care too much for other people, but those are good things Brooke. Those are some of your best qualities. So don't you even think about changing who you are."

Brooke couldn't believe how sweet Nathan was being. She pulled him into a hug."I love you so much Nate. You are the best friend a girl can have and your a very good confidence booster too. I need to keep you around for when I'm feeling crappy."said Brooke with a laugh.

"I'll definitely be here when ever you need me. So what have you decided?"

"I don't know. As much as I miss her I just don't know if I can ever trust her again."

"Well whatever you decide to do, I'm behind you 100 percent."

"Thank you Nate. That really means a lot to me. Your pretty perfect yourself you know and I don't say that to a lot of people, so you know I mean it."

"Do you ever say things you don't mean?"

Brooke shook her head."I guess not."

"Yeah your always the one to tell it like you see it, even if you see it wrong."said Nathan with a laugh.

Brooke rolled her eyes at him."Whatever, I'm never wrong."

"If you say so Brooke."Nathan leaned back on the couch and pulled her with him. She rested her head on his chest and wrapped her arm around his waist. He looked down at her."Brooke you know I love you too, right?"

She tilted her head and looked up at him."Of course I do."

"Good, just making sure. So what do you want to do now?"

"Nothing really. How about we just hang out like this until I have to leave? I have to see Lucas after he talks to Peyton."

"Oh, right. I forgot about that. I guess he's really gonna need you."

"Yeah he is. I just hope he's not too hard on Peyton. Technically she didn't know anything."

"But the question is, is technically going to be enough for Lucas?"

Brooke thought about that for a second."I don't know, but I hope so."

Peyton decided against calling Lucas first. She was afraid he would tell her he was too busy and couldn't talk to her. So instead she went to his house and hoped he'd be there.

Peyton continued to sit in her car and tried to figure out what she was going to say. Everything she thought of just didn't sound right. Nothing sounded right. This whole thing was wrong, so how could she think there would be a right thing to say? After realizing that there absolutely was no right thing to say she got out of her car and walked up to Lucas' house. The closer she got to the house, the faster her heart began to beat. All Peyton wanted to do was turn around and go home, but she knew she couldn't.

Peyton stood in front of the door for what felt like forever before she raised her hand and knocked on the door. A part of her hoped he wasn't home, but then the other part knew that if he wasn't she'd still have to tell him eventually, so she might as well just get it over with. She stood still as the door opened.

To say Lucas was surprised when he saw Peyton would be an understatement. She was seriously the last person he thought would just show up at his house."Uh, Peyton. Hi. What are you doing here?"

"I thought we should talk."

"There is nothing we need to talk about Peyton."

"Your wrong Lucas. There is a lot we need to talk about. Can I come in?"

Lucas shook his head."That's not really a good idea Peyton. We should just talk out here. I mean if Brooke comes by and sees you inside, she might get the wrong idea and that's the last thing I want."

"Lucas this is important."she saw he was still hesitant."Please. Look if I don't say this now, I might never do it."

Lucas saw how serious Peyton was and knew it must really be important. he moved aside, opening the door wider for her to come in.

Peyton made her way to the living room. She turned to face Lucas, who too walked in. She looked around."Is your mom home? Maybe we should do this in your room."

Lucas shook his head. The last place he wanted to be alone with Peyton was his bedroom."No, she isn't. So what's going on Peyton? You wanted to talk, so talk."

"Okay, first off, how are you feeling? Does your arm and shoulder still hurt?"

"I'm doing fine and they don't hurt too much. Now I doubt you came over here to ask how I am. What is it Peyton? What is so important that you need to tell me?"

Peyton took a deep breath, knowing this was it."I first want to say that I am sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen. Everything that happened that night was a mistake."

Lucas replayed everything Peyton had just said. Everything that happened that night was a mistake. That night. His mind began to spin."Peyton what are you trying to say? Did you lie when you said nothing happened with us? Did we really sleep together? Wait a second, are you pregnant?"Lucas hoped the answer to all those questions were no, but he wasn't so sure. What else could she say about that night?

Peyton couldn't help the small smile that crossed her face."Wow. You two really are meant to be together. Brooke asked those same exact questions when I told her this."

"Wait, so Brooke knows what you are about to tell me?"

Peyton nodded."Yes she does and to answer your questions, no. Nothing happened with us that night. Don't worry, I'm not trying to change the story now."

"Okay, well then will you please just tell me what is going on?"

"Okay, Lucas you need to know that if I could, I would take it all back. I just wanted to say that before I told you."Lucas nodded."Okay, well there's really no easy way to say this, and I should know because I've spent hours trying to find one, but it never..."

"Peyton please just get to the point."interrupted Lucas.

"Okay, sorry. Lucas I'm part of the reason you were in the hospital. Everything that happened that night was my fault. I feel horrible about it. I wish it never happened, but it did and now all I can do is come clean and hope you don't hate me, but if you do I will totally understand. I deserve your hate and so much more."Peyton finally stopped talking wanting to hear Lucas' response.

Lucas didn't say anything, he just stared at her. He was trying to process everything she had just said. She was the reason he was in the hospital. That could only mean one thing."Are you trying to tell me you put that shit in my drink?"shouted Lucas. How the hell could she do that to him?

"No, that's not what I'm saying. I wouldn't do that to you Lucas."

"Then what the hell are you saying?"he was now confused.

"I gave you that Vodka Lucas. You drank it because of me."

"Peyton I already knew that you gave it to me. That I remember, it's everything else I don't."

"I know that, but there's more Lucas. What you don't know is that I brought that Vodka to the party especially for you."

"Are you saying that you wanted to get me drunk?"

"Yes. I had this stupid plan and in order for it to work, you had to be drunk."

"What was your plan?"

"I wanted you to be so drunk that you would think we slept together. I knew that if you thought we slept together you would tell Brooke and then she would hate you for it and never speak to you again. Rodger said that what was in that Vodka would make my plan work."

"Wait. So your saying that you knew something was in there?"Lucas was now furious. She had known all along. She may not have put it in there herself, but she knew about it.

"Yes. I knew it wasn't just Vodka, but I didn't know it had drugs in it."

"What the hell did you think was in it? Water? Aspirin? You knew it had to be something strong enough to guarantee you psychotic plan worked."yelled Lucas.

Peyton now was a little scared. She knew that when Lucas found out he would be upset, but he was beyond upset and he wouldn't stop yelling."Rodger said that it was just a mixture of different alcohols and that..."she was cut off by Lucas.

"Your stupid Peyton, but not that stupid. I don't believe that you thought it was just a mixture of different alcohols. I think you knew exactly what was in there."Lucas continued to yell.

Peyton shook her head violently."No, no. I didn't know. I swear."

Lucas continued to yell at her as if he hadn't heard a word she said."You knew that Brooke was the one I wanted and that there was no way in hell that I would ever touch you again, so you drugged me to make it look like I did. You are psychotic and you need help."

"Lucas I swear I didn't know about the drugs, but I also know that's not an excuse. This is partly my fault and I should..."

"Partly your fault? Are you crazy? Yeah, I guess you are.This is fully your fault. If you wouldn't have gone all psycho stalker on me none of this would have happened. Why couldn't you accept that I no longer wanted to be with you?"Lucas was more than furious at her. He took a few steps forward and saw her take a few steps back, not wanting to be so near him."Do you know that because of what you did I might never get to play basketball again? Basketball is my life Peyton and you probably took it away from me forever."he took another step forward."But you probably don't care. This is just my payback for not wanting you right? You've never cared about anybody, but yourself."

"That's not true."she cut in.

"Like hell it isn't. I stopped everything once I realized how much I hurt Brooke. I didn't want to do it again, but you didn't stop. She was your best friend and you purposely hurt her over and over again. You never once cared about how she would feel. All you cared about was trying to get me back even though you knew I didn't want you. That's pretty sad if you ask me."

Peyton was a little surprised. She had never seen him act like this before. Sure he had every right to be angry at her, but he didn't have the right to talk to her like this and she wasn't going to let him."Yeah, well I didn't ask you, did I? You can think what you want to think about me. I can't stop you. I honestly don't know what I ever saw in you. You obviously aren't the person I thought you were. Now it has been fun talking to you again, but I said what I came her to say now I'm leaving."she tried to walk past him, but he grabbed her by the arm.

"Your not going anywhere. You just admitted to drugging me. I'm calling the police."

Peyton tried to pull away, but couldn't."Lucas get your hands off of me."shouted Peyton.

The second Peyton said that Brooke burst through the door."What the hell is going on here? I can hear you two all the way outside."Brooke walked over to them and saw that Peyton was struggling to get out of Lucas' grasp."Lucas, hey, let her go. Your hurting her."Lucas wouldn't let her go."Lucas! I said let go!"Brooke pulled his hand from Peyton's arm and turned to face her."What the hell is going on?"

"He doesn't believe that I didn't know the drink was drugged and he wants to call the police. I tried to leave, but he wouldn't let me. Brooke I swear I didn't know."

Brooke nodded at her."I know you didn't."she turned to face Lucas."Hey, she didn't know about the drugs Lucas. Your just too upset to see that right now."

"Can you blame me Brooke? She's the reason I'm like this."

"Lucas I swear to you I didn't know."said Peyton not so much scared now that Brooke was there.

"You expect for me to believe you?"

"Okay this isn't going to work."said Brooke turning to Peyton."You said what you came here to say. You should leave now. I'll talk to Lucas."

"Thank you Brooke"Brooke nodded at her and she walked to the door and out of it, never more happy to get away from Lucas. She had never seen him like this and hoped she never would again.

Once Peyton left Brooke turned to Lucas. She had never seen him act like this. He seemed so angry."Lucas, baby, look at me. You need to calm down. I've never seen you like this. It's kind of scary."

At her words, Lucas calmed himself down. The last thing he wanted was for Brooke to be scared of him. He reached out and pulled her to him for a hug."I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me. I was just so angry."said Lucas as he held her to him.

Brooke pulled away from him and saw his eyes begin to water. She held his face in her hands."Lucas you have every right to be mad. Nobody will fault you for that, but what you don't have the right to do is to hurt Peyton. You shouldn't have grabbed her like that."

The tears Lucas had been fighting back spilled out. Brooke wiped them away."I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have grabbed her, but she was trying to leave. Do you know that she drugged me?"he then remembered Peyton told him Brooke already knew."Of course you knew. She told me earlier that you knew. How could you not tell me?"he pulled away from her.

"Lucas I found out today just like you. I didn't keep anything from you. Peyton told me earlier and we both decided it was best if she was the one to tell you, so she did and now I'm here. There's no way that I would have known about this and kept it from you. I know how much not knowing who did this to you was killing you, you and your mom."

Lucas nodded.Of course she just found out too. She wouldn't keep a thing like this from him."I'm sorry, but hey at least we now know who drugged me. Peyton."

Brooke let out a sigh."Lucas she didn't drug you. Yeah, she gave you the alcohol and wanted you to be drunk in order for her stupid plan to work, but she didn't drug you. Stupidity isn't a crime Lucas, she shouldn't have to go to jail for it."

"How do you know she's telling the truth about not knowing? After everything she has done to you, how can you trust her like that?"

"After everything she's done to me? Lucas you've done some pretty shitty things to me too and I trust you. Are you saying that I shouldn't?"

"No, but I never deliberately tried to hurt you."

"Well that's true. Look, the look on her face when she told me about it, told me that she was telling the truth. She was crying and didn't want any of us to hate her. She didn't have to tell us anything at all Lucas, nobody suspected her. She could have kept her mouth shut, but she didn't. Besides she said this was all Rodger's doing and I believe that. Rodger is a bad guy Lucas. He would definitely do something like this if he thought he'd get gratitude from Peyton in the way of sex. I'm sure he thought that when her plan worked she'd be ecstatic and go and personally thank him. He's a disgusting human being. This has him written all over it."

"Who is Rodger and how do you know so much about him?"

Brooke looked over to Lucas and took a deep breath. She had to tell Lucas everything."Okay please don't interrupt me until I'm done or I might never get this out."Lucas nodded, this was the second time he'd heard that today."Well my freshman year Rodger was a Senior. I was friends with his sister Debbie and we would always hang out at her house. Rodger would always be there too and after a while he started to really pay attention to me and it felt good to have a seniors attention. So we started talking. We would talk at his house or on the phone for hours. It was going good, but then one day I went over to their house to hang with Debbie, but she wasn't home. I ended up staying anyways with Rodger. One thing led to another and we started making out. Pretty soon making out wasn't enough for him and he wanted more, but the problem was, I didn't. He wouldn't take no for an answer. I was telling him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Then thank god Debbie got home. I honestly don't know what would have happened if she wouldn't have come home. I tried to tell her what happened, but he said I was lying and had come on to him. She of course took his side and called me a liar. She has this thing about her friends messing with her brother. If you do, she's no longer your friend. We haven't been friends since. She's on the squad, but we hardly talk. So when Peyton says that this was his doing, I believe her."Brooke hadn't realized she'd started to cry until she felt Lucas wipe away her tears. Reliving that day was harder than she realized.

Lucas held her face in his hands. He couldn't believe what he had just heard. It broke his heart to hear what she had been through. Some guys sure were jerks and he was the worst kind of jerk. The type of jerk that forced himself on girls. He couldn't wait to see this guy."Hey, are you okay?"she nodded."I can't believe you had to go through that. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry Lucas. You had nothing to do with it. It happened a long time ago and I'm over it now, nothing actually happened. What I can't believe is that I said anything at all. The only other person I've ever told was Peyton."

"I'm glad you told me. It shows that you really trust me again. Thank you Brooke."

"I do trust you Lucas."Lucas leaned in and gave her a little kiss on the cheek."You see so I believe that it was him and so should you."

"I don't know. I guess your right. If he could do that to you, then I'm sure he could do this too."

"So your not going to call the police on Peyton?"

"No. I never was. I was just angry at her. I have never been that angry before. It was like I turned into somebody else. I am never going to allow myself to get like that again. I never want you to be scared of me again, especially after what you just told me."

"I don't ever want to be scared of you either, but Lucas I didn't tell you that so you'd treat me differently. Like I said, it happened a long time ago and I'm over it. I want you to continue to treat me the way you normally would."

Lucas smiled at her."I can do that. I can treat you like the person I love the most because that's how I would normally treat you."

Brooke laughed."Now that I can deal with."she leaned in and gave him a kiss."You do know you need to apologize to Peyton right?"

Lucas looked down. He was so ashamed of the way he behaved. It was just that he'd been hoping for over a month that he'd find out who did this to him so he could make their lives miserable, that when Peyton told him it was her, he'd finally found them, and he snapped."Yeah, I know I need to. What she did was unforgivable, but she still didn't deserve me grabbing her like that. I'll apologize to her the next time I see her."

"Good, now enough talk about Rodger and Peyton, how about we get out of here? We have plans to stay at my house remember?"

"How could I forget? I've been looking forward to this since last night. Lets go."Lucas grabbed Brooke's hand and led her out the door.

Thank you for the reviews. I really hope you liked this chapter. The reviews have been lacking lately, but I love this story so I'm posting anyways. I am trying to hurry and get this story finished so I can spend more time on my newest story. A lot of people seem to like that one. So I think I'll be posting these chapters a little faster. This story is almost over though. Anyways I hope you liked this chapter. Please let me know what you think. Read and review.

Coming up:

A little Naley.

Peyton is in for a huge shock.

Brooke and Lucas watch a movie.