Chapter 4

Dr. Phlox smiled to T'Pol entering sickbay.
"Ohhhhhhh Sub-Commander!"
He noticed she was unsettled.
He lowered his voice and became serious: "May I help you?"
"Yes ... I ... feel agitated." her hands were still trembling.
"Has this ... agitation a reason?"
T'Pol didn't answer. She had a dazed expression.
"It's difficult to help you, if you don't talk to me, Sub-Commander."
"Could you give me an injection just to stabilize ..."
Phlox interrupted her: "This could help you for a few hours, but it would not solve your problem, Sub-Commander."
He sighed: "I know that you don't feel comfortable in talking about your personal matters, T'Pol. But you should know that all is between you and your doctor."
"It's not easy for me to explain, Doctor." she swallowed.
"I understand this is a critical period for you. Your mother's death ... the mission on Vulcan ... what about your ... husband? Maybe he could help you ..."
"No ... he released me from our marriage."
"Really?" Phlox was surprised "Does anybody know about that?"
"No."
"I don't understand if this is a relief to you or not."
"It is." she sighed "But I want to keep this for myself."
"Why? I suppose Commander Tucker would be happy about that." he smiled.
"Whatever happened between me and Commander Tucker, it's over." she stated.
"Strange. I thought you had feelings for each other."
"I care for him ... but not in the way he expects from me ... these new emotions are unknown to me, doctor. I suppose I misunderstood the meaning of what I was really feeling ..."
"Maybe you just felt ... alone?"
"Vulcans don't experience loneliness." she said proudly.
"Nonsense! Vulcans experience the same emotions as any other species. They're simply better at hiding them. Sometimes I believe that Capt. Archer is more Vulcan than you are."
"Doctor?"
"I'm a great observer T'Pol. I always thought that you're an atypical Vulcan, even before the Panar Syndrome and the trellium addiction."
She lowered her eyes.
"You haven't told me the reason for feeling agitated, yet."
"I had a dispute with Capt. Archer a few minutes ago. We were both out of line."
"Why?"
"He decided to make the first landing with Lt. Parker instead of his science officer. I believe this decision is due to the fact he's attracted to her."
"And that disturbs you?" Phlox was surprised. "Interesting!" he grinned.
"I don't know if that ... disturbs me ... I don't understand my reaction ..."
"May I ask how you feel about him?"
She answered hesitatingly: "I feel respect ... trust ..."
"And?"
"... friendship ..."
"That's all?"
"What else?" she asked.
"If that's all you feel, I think you should be happy for him. He's been alone for a long time, and you know how the Expanse experience has changed him. He suffered a lot ... he'll never be the man we used to know."
"I'm aware of that ..."
"Niki Parker could be the key for him to find some peace of mind." Phlox looked T'Pol straight in the eyes. "But you don't want this to happen, do you?"

The sickbay doors opened. It was Archer.
"Hoshi told me you were here ... you ok?" he seemed worried.
"There's nothing to worry about, Captain." Phlox smiled "Sub-Commander T'Pol has only an headache, I was going to treat her." he put an hypospray againts her neck. They both knew it was the remedy to stabilize her synaptic pathways.
"Thank you, Doctor." T'Pol noticed her hands had stopped trembling.
"You're welcome, Sub-Commander."
Archer looked at T'Pol for a moment without talking.
"If you feel better, I would like to have a word with you."
Phlox left them alone discreetly.
"Captain, I wish to apologize for ..."
Archer interrupted her: "I'm sorry as well, T'Pol." he sighed. "I don't wanna argue with you anymore."
"Neither do I." she answered.
"What happened to us, T'Pol?"
She looked at him as she didn't understand.
He continued: "We are not just the Captain and the First Officer ... we used to be friends. Am I wrong?"
"No ..."
"So why does it seem you dislike me since we went to Vulcan?"
"What?" she was really surprised.
He took her by her shoulders.
"I thought my experience on Vulcan would help me understanding you better. But it seems this bothers you ... you even didn't allow me to comfort you for the loss of your mother."
"Vulcans don't need consolation." she said stiffly.
"I had more than enough of your 'vulcans do' and 'vulcans don't'!" he turned his back to T'Pol with anger.
T'Pol hesitated for a moment, then she put a hand on his shoulder.
"I'm sorry ... I don't dislike you, I never have ... it's been a difficult period ... I tried to make it alone, but ... it seems I can't."
Archer turned his face to T'Pol. They locked eyes for a long moment.
"Let me help you ... you're my friend, T'Pol. I trust you with my life."
"I do as well" she whispered softly.
Archer was tempted. He stared at her with affection ... but he knew that he could make the wrong move.
So he smiled and said: "Will you promise that you'll come to me anytime you need help ... or just somebody to talk?"
"Yes ..."
He was going to leave, then he stopped: "T'Pol ..."
"Captain?"
"You may not believe that, but Surak once told me: 'Don't fight what's been given to you. Open your mind and your heart and the way will become clear' ... I'd wish you think about this."
"I'll try." she watched him leaving sickbay. She felt a wave of feelings through her body and her mind... what was that?
She didn't know, but whatever it was, she felt a lot better.