Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy VIII...

Author's Note: I don't have much to say, except to yet again apologize for the long waits with each chapter. All I can do is thank you all for being patient and continuing to follow this. You seriously are the best!

To Love You More

Chapter Thirty-Four

"This is over my head
But underneath my feet
'Cause by tomorrow morning
I'll have this thing beat
And everything will be back to the way that it was
I wish that it was just that easy..."

-"Somewhere In Between" Lifehouse

SQUALL put down his pen and sighed. Looking over Garden's financial reports was tiresome on a normal day. Add to that his problems regarding Rinoa, having Zell and Carrie's rehearsal dinner that night, and there still being no sign of Quistis. Could you blame the guy for not being able to focus?

A knock on the door made Squall growl in annoyance. He wasn't in the mood to socialize. Still, he was the commander, which meant that he had a duty to see who it was. Damn job. "Come in," he growled.

Squall was surprised to see that it was Zell. He hadn't seen much of the energetic blonde lately, partly because he had been so wrapped up in his own problems, and partly because Zell had been busy with Carrie and planning the wedding. In fact, Squall couldn't remember the last time he had had a serious talk with his friend. Hopefully today wouldn't be the first in a long time.

"Hey, Squall," Zell said as he entered the room, shutting the door behind him. "What's up?"

"Zell, if you came up here to ask me 'what's up', then I might just have to throw you out of Garden, wedding or not," Squall said, rubbing the bridge of his forehead wearily.

Zell smiled. Not many people understood Squall's sense of humor, but Zell had been around him long enough to tell when he was joking. "No, that's not the reason I came up here. I actually wanted to ask for your advice. I mean, the wedding is tomorrow, and I'm getting kinda nervous. Was that how it was for you before you and Quistis got married?"

Squall closed his eyes, traveling back to his own wedding day. He could not remember feeling nervous. In fact, he couldn't remember feeling much emotion at all. If he had to pick one word to describe himself that day, then it would have to be numb. He should have never married Quistis that day, but he couldn't exactly tell Zell that. Not even Squall was cold enough to admit such a thing to the enthusiastic groom.

"Yeah," he said, instead. "I hear it's natural to be nervous on the day of your wedding. Don't worry about it."

Zell smiled again, relieved that he was not the only one to have gone through such a situation. "Thanks, man. I'm sorry to have interrupted you. It's been awhile since we've talked, though. The other reason I came up here was to see how you're doing. Don't take this the wrong way, man, but you've been acting strange lately."

The commander raised an eyebrow. "Strange?"

"Well, yeah. I guess you've seemed preoccupied, and more distant than normal. Is everything okay?"

Squall nodded. "I've been under a lot of stress lately, that's all. There have been a lot of Garden problems to handle."

"You know, I'm probably digging myself into a hole here, but are you sure nothing's up? Have you heard from Quistis at all?"

"No," he said, shaking his head. "Nor do I expect to."

Well, that statement certainly caught Zell's attention. "What do you mean by that?"

Squall shrugged. "The wedding is tomorrow. She's cutting it awfully close, isn't she?"

"That's true, but this is Quistis we're talking about here. She never acts irresponsibly," Zell insisted.

"There's a first time for everything."

Zell stared at his friend in shock. How could he act so casually about this? It was his wife they were talking about, for God's sake! "Aren't you even worried about her?"

"Quistis is a big girl. She can take care of herself," Squall replied calmly.

"But you haven't heard from her in almost two weeks! She could be-" He suddenly stopped as a realization hit him head on. "You don't love her."

Squall sighed. What was the point in denying it anymore? "No," he said quietly, "I don't."

Zell was stunned. He had always believed that Squall had successfully moved on from Rinoa with Quistis. Sure, they had had their problems, but what couple didn't? There were so many questions that Zell had, but the main one immediately escaped his lips. "Then why did you marry her?"

Squall considered that for a moment. "I don't know. I guess I wanted to convince myself that I was over Rinoa; that I had moved on with my life. I guess I also felt that I owed it to Quistis. She had put up with me for so long, and I knew it was what she wanted."

"Does Quistis know how you feel?"

"No. I didn't have the heart to tell her. When she comes back, I'll have to. She deserves to know the truth."

"And what about Rinoa? Does she know?"

This time, Squall nodded. "I told her the other night."

"Jesus Christ."

"Listen, Zell, your wedding is tomorrow. I really want you to enjoy it. Don't worry about my problems. I can deal with them."

Zell nodded. "I know you can. It's just...wow. I had no idea." He smiled sheepishly. "It makes sense, though. Oh, and don't worry. Your secret is safe with me. So, I guess I'll see you tonight?"

Squall nodded. "Thank you, Zell. I think I really needed to get that off my chest."

"No problem, man," he said sincerely, "No problem.

THE sunlight poured in through the cracks in the blinds of Quistis' hotel room. With a sigh, the blonde rolled onto her back and opened her eyes. Today would be the last day that she spent on the island. In all honesty, she would love to stay, but tomorrow was Zell and Carrie's wedding, and she absolutely had to be back for that. Still, it was going to be unbearably hard to say goodbye to Seifer. He had no idea that she was leaving tonight, and she hadn't had the heart to tell him.

Sighing once more, she swung her feet over the edge of the bed and got up. She hadn't started packing yet, but she had so few things that she doubted it would take very long. Deciding to put off the packing for later, she quickly slid into a beige pair of capris and a pale pink tank top. She ran a brush through her hand, grabbed her purse, and exited the room. She was not usually one to act to impulsively, but she felt the need to see Seifer...to say goodbye.

As she made her way to the pier, she felt uncharacteristically nervous. Part of her was afraid of how Seifer would react. Would he demand that she stay, or would he gladly see her off? She had never thought that Seifer Almasy's opinion would matter so much to her, but the truth of the matter was, something had happened over the past two weeks. Quistis wasn't exactly sure what had happened, but something within herself had changed. She was not going to act as the silent, agreeable wife anymore. The time had finally come for her to stand up to her husband.

When Squall had asked Quistis for the break, she had been devastated. Yes, she had told him that she knew they were having problems, but failure had never been an option for her. She had been willing to do whatever it took to save her marriage. That was why she had initially agreed to the break. However, as her two weeks in FH went by, she began to see her marriage for what it really was; a lie. Had she ever really loved Squall? Yes, she believed she had, but their marriage had been so broken from the start that she couldn't believe that she had agreed to it in the first place.

The signs had all been there. For God's sake, he had never even told her that he loved her! Every time he looked at her, Quistis saw the look in his eyes. It was one of emptiness, mixed with yearning. That yearning was for one person and one person alone; Rinoa Heartilly. Fate had long ago intertwined the two. Perhaps she was a fool for thinking that she could come between that. There was nothing left to do but return to Garden and have a long talk with Squall. Perhaps it would be their first real conversation in a long time.

As Quistis reached the pier, she quickly closed her mind to all of her depressing thoughts. Once she reached Balamb, there would be plenty of time to ponder such things. Right now, though, she just wanted to focus on a certain blonde who had quietly crept into her life, and her heart, over the past two weeks. It would soon be time to say goodbye. Her eyes scanned the pier for him, but were unsuccessful. In fact, the pier was empty, save for a couple of old fishermen.

"Excuse me," Quistis said as she approached one of them. "Have you seen Seifer Almasy?"

The elderly fisherman looked up at the blonde, squinting from the sun. "Sorry, Miss, can't say that I have. He sure ain't been around here this morning."

"Well, do you have any idea when he might be coming by today?"

The fisherman shook his head. "It ain't normal for Almasy to show up here later than us. I'd say that he won't be showing up at all."

Quistis nodded, feeling dejected. "Well, thank you, anyway." She began to walk away, thinking of where else Seifer could be.

"Miss!" a voice suddenly exclaimed behind her.

Quistis turned around and saw that it was one of the other fishermen. "Yes?"

"I overheard you asking about Seifer Almasy. I thought you might like to know that his boat is gone. I reckon that he went over to the mainland to make a delivery."

"The mainland? Do you have any idea what time he could get back?"

The man shrugged. "It's hard to say. Probably tonight, at the earliest. It all depends if he stays overnight or something."

Quistis nodded once more and thanked the man. She couldn't believe it. The chances of Seifer returning before she left were slim at best. It looked like she was going to have to leave the island without saying goodbye to the blonde fisherman.

"OKAY, guys, we're ready to begin!" Selphie exclaimed excitedly.

"Uh, we seem to have a problem," Irvine said suddenly. "Brett's really sick, so it doesn't look like he'll be able to make the wedding tomorrow."

Selphie sighed. Everyone had gathered in the ballroom for the rehearsal dinner. Most of them had now turned to Selphie, worried expressions on their faces. Quistis still hadn't shown up, and now Brett...

"Don't worry, everyone! We'll just have to switch a few things around. Give me a minute to figure everything out, and then we can begin," Selphie told the worried crowd.

Rinoa frowned from her place at the front of the ballroom. Brett was supposed to be escorting her down the aisle. She wondered who Selphie would find as his replacement. It was a shame that he had to get sick so close to the wedding. The sorceress had no time to ponder the situation further as she felt a hand tap her on the shoulder. She turned around to see Squall.

"Hey," Squall said quietly. Rinoa couldn't help noticing how uncomfortable he looked. Well, he had never exactly been found of such situations.

"Hi, Squall," she said, trying to sound cheerful. They hadn't really talked since "their incident," and Rinoa couldn't help feeling uncomfortable. "Have you heard from Quistis at all?" Okay, so introducing the subject of Quistis probably wasn't the smartest move, but she was genuinely curious.

"No," Squall said, shaking his head. "I don't even know where she is. Although," he said, looking at Rinoa pointedly, "I know you do."

Rinoa sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "I promised Quistis that I wouldn't say anything, but if you really want to know, then I'll tell you."

Squall shook his head. "Forget it. Quistis knows what she's doing. If she doesn't want to come back, that's her decision."

Rinoa looked up at him searchingly. "You're not even worried about her, Squall?"

It was the second time that day that Squall had been asked that question. Unfortunately, he had no chance to answer as Selphie chose that moment to announce the new arrangements for the rehearsal.

"Can I have everyone's attention, please? We're ready to begin. Can everyone please be seated, except for Carrie, Zell, Rinoa, Michelle, Irvine, Squall, and Dusty. You guys are following me out into the hall."

Once out in the hall, everyone turned to Selphie expectantly. "Okay, since Brett is sick and Quistis isn't here, I've had to rearrange things a bit. Rinoa, since Brett was supposed to partner up with you, and Quistis was supposed to partner up with Squall, then the obvious choice is to have you two partner up. Is that alright with the two of you?"

They both nodded, feeling that it was pretty ironic that each of their partners were not there. It just seemed like too much of a coincidence. Still, neither of them was about to disagree with the arrangement. It was their friends' wedding, and they weren't going to do anything to disrupt it.

"Okay, good. Now that that's settled, we can proceed. Zell, you are going to go and stand at the front of the ballroom, next to the priest. They'll have a little altar set up for tomorrow, so you'll be standing right next to it. For now, you're just going to have to pretend."

Zell nodded. "Got it." He began to walk back into the ballroom.

"Oh, and Zell?" The blonde turned around. "Can you ask Headmaster Cid and Bridget to come out here?" Zell nodded once more and reentered the ballroom.

As soon as Cid and Bridget, a cute girl of about six, had arrived, Selphie turned to the latter. "Hey there, Bridget! You're going to be the flower girl. Do you know what that means?"

Bridget nodded enthusiastically, her dark brown curls bobbing. "I get to throw the flower petals!"

Selphie laughed. "Yes, that's right. You're going to walk down the aisle with that basket full of flower petals. Here, I'll show you what to do." She took Bridget's hand and led her into the ballroom.

As Selphie demonstrated what Bridget was supposed to do as the flower girl, Rinoa found her eyes wandering over to Squall. The other night, he had confessed that he had been thinking about her throughout the duration of his wedding. She found herself envisioning herself as Squall's bride. She would be standing here, in this very spot, waiting to enter the ballroom, where Squall was waiting. Her stomach would be a web of knots, but there would never be any doubt in her mind. She would know, with one-hundred percent certainty, that she was making the right decision. Marrying Squall could never be wrong. They had long ago been destined to be together.

"Rinoa, did you hear me?"

Rinoa looked up to see Selphie staring at her impatiently. She had been so occupied with her thoughts that she hadn't even noticed that Michelle and Dusty had already entered the ballroom. "Sorry," she said sheepishly. "What were you saying?"

Selphie just smiled. "I said that Irvine and I are going to enter now. After we reach the front, you and Squall are to come in, followed by Headmaster Cid and Carrie."

"Okay," Rinoa said, nodding. "See you in a few minutes."

Nodding, Selphie took Irvine's hand and began walking down the aisle. Rinoa couldn't help but notice how comfortable they looked together. Maybe it was because she had dated Irvine, but Rinoa could definitely sense some lingering feelings between the two. Rinoa found herself smiling at that. She was happy for them.

"What are you smiling about?" Squall asked as he took his place beside her.

"That," Rinoa replied, gesturing to the couple that had just about reached the altar. "Isn't it funny, how people always find their way back to each other?"

Squall found himself smiling at that one. "I don't know," he said in mock seriousness. "Do you know from experience?"

Rinoa laughed and punched him playfully in the arm. Any awkwardness that she had previously felt had completely vanished. She found it amazing that she could let her guard down so easily with him and revert back to the way they were before. "Come on. It's our turn."

Squall offered his arm to the sorceress, his sorceress, and they proceeded down the aisle. Although this was only a rehearsal dinner, and not his wedding, Squall couldn't help feeling that things couldn't be more right. This was the way that things were supposed to be. Of course, he would still have to sort things out with Quistis, but that thought wasn't nearly as intimidating as it had once been. He would be truthful with his wife, and when everything had been talked over, Rinoa would be right there waiting for him. Then, they would have their own wedding.

Wedding? Squall had surprised even himself with that thought. Here he was, married to Quistis, and already planning a wedding with Rinoa. He was a horrible husband. Besides, how could he be so sure that Rinoa would even accept him after everything that he had put her through? Still, despite his doubts and the fact that he was still married to Quistis, Squall knew that he wanted to marry Rinoa. Their marriage was the one that should have happened from the start. He wanted to wake up every day and see her beside him. He wanted her forever, all of her, for the rest of their lives. There was nothing in his life that he was more certain about.

"Squall," Rinoa suddenly whispered, causing him to quickly snap back to the present. "You have to let go of my hand now."

Squall realized, with embarrassment, that they had arrived at the altar and his right arm was still intertwined with Rinoa's. He quickly pulled his arm away and took his place next to Irvine.

As the doors opened, and Carrie and Cid made their way down the aisle, Squall couldn't help but keep his eyes on Rinoa. He knew that, tomorrow, when Carrie made her entrance, every eye in the ballroom would be on her. Every eye, but his. He couldn't help but be fascinated by Rinoa. Her beauty, strength, poise...everything about her constantly had him in awe. He couldn't believe that he had ever tried to believe that he was in love with Quistis. For God's sake, on the day of their wedding, his mind had been on Rinoa! Shouldn't that have told him something?

Now, she was watching the scene in front of them with such a mixture of happiness and loss that it broke his heart. He couldn't help but feel that any pain she was feeling was because of him. He reached out and squeezed her hand suddenly, causing her to look at him. She met his eyes and smiled that radiant smile of hers. Squall found himself smiling back at her, momentarily forgetting his prior thoughts. That was the effect that she had on him, on everyone. With that one smile from her, all of Squall's problems disappeared.

Seifer finished tying his boat to the dock, whistling as he did so. He had sailed into port about an hour after nightfall. His trip to the mainland had been a simple one. In fact, he had delivered the shipments of fish so quickly that he had found himself with some free time on his hands. It was in a shop in the heart of Dollet that Seifer had purchased his gift for Quistis. He hadn't intended to buy Quistis anything, but he had passed by an antique shop, and something in the window just caught his eye. It was a delicate mahogany music box, which, upon further inspection, revealed intricate carvings of a myriad of flowers. As Seifer had entered the store, and carefully lifted the lid, a haunting melody began to play, but instead of the traditional ballerina inside, a small hummingbird seemed to come alive to the music. Seifer was not quite sure why, but it immediately reminded him of Quistis, and he knew he had to buy it for her.

Now, as he made his way down the pier, the small box held safely wrapped in his hands, his only thought was of seeing Quistis. He knew that he should probably wait until the morning, but for some reason, he felt the need to see her tonight. It was funny, how so much could change in the course of two short weeks. He had always found Quistis attractive, but then again, who hadn't? No, in the past two weeks, something had changed, and Seifer had really grown to care about his former instructor. To be honest, the day he had first seen her at the pier, she had been nothing more than a link to his past; the same past that he had been trying so desperately to forget.

As he entered Quistis' hotel, he couldn't help but think of the past few days they had spent together. They had gone out on his boat several more times, enjoying the calmness of the ocean, and simply talking. Although he had Raijin and Fujin to talk to, he had never realized what he was missing until now. As Seifer climbed the stairs to Quistis' floor, he felt himself uncharacteristically nervous. There really wasn't anything to be nervous about. It was only Quistis, after all.

Seifer stopped in front of room two-twenty. He was surprised to find the door wide open. "Quistis?" he called as he stepped into the room.

A feeling of dread built up in his stomach as he realized that the room was empty. All of Quistis' belongings were gone, as if she had never been there at all. Suddenly, a woman walked into the room from the bathroom. By her appearance, it was obvious that she was one of the maids. She looked up in surprise as she noticed Seifer standing there.

"Can I help you, Sir?" she asked.

Seifer frowned, as if confused by the whole scene. "Where is Quistis?"

"Quistis?" the maid asked in confusion.

"Quistis Trepe. The blonde woman who was staying in this room," he clarified.

"Ah," the maid said. "She is gone."

"Gone?" Seifer asked in confusion. "Where the hell did she go?"

The maid shook her head. "I am sorry, Sir, but I do not know. Perhaps you should ask at the front desk."

The words had barely left her mouth when Seifer quickly left the room and headed downstairs, to the lobby. He spotted a receptionist behind the desk and immediately made his way over to her.

"Excuse me," he said, slightly out of breath, "Can you tell me what happened to the woman staying in room two-twenty?"

The woman looked up at him for a moment, her brown eyes studying him. Then, without a word, she disappeared into a back room. Seifer stared after her in disbelief. What the hell was going on? He was just about to hop the counter and demand some answers from the woman when she reappeared.

"May I ask you your name, Sir?" she asked.

"Seifer Almasy," he said impatiently, "And I'd really appreciate some answers."

"The woman in room two-twenty checked out about an hour ago. She left this for you." The woman handed him an envelope, and Seifer realized that it was what she had gone to the back room to retrieve. "Have a nice night, Sir."

Seifer held the envelope in his hand, wondering what it contained. He made his way over to a seat in the lobby, placing the music box beside him. Then, he opened the envelope, extracting a letter from inside.

Dear Seifer,

If you are reading this, then it looks like we missed each other. I came by the pier this morning, but the fishermen told me that you were away on business. I tried again tonight, but you still hadn't come back. I'm sorry for leaving so suddenly, but Zell's wedding is tomorrow and I can't let him down. I just want to thank you for the kindess and understanding you have shown me in the past two weeks. When I arrived in FH, I was hurt, and lost, but you helped me find myself again. Words cannot express how grateful I am for that. I wish we could have had the chance to say goodbye in person, but I suppose this will have to suffice. It is my sincere hope that you will come back to Balamb some day soon, and pay us all a visit. I know that the others will readily welcome you. I must end this letter now, or I fear I will miss my train. Goodbye, Seifer.

All the best,

Quistis

Seifer put down the letter, a million different emotions spinning through his head. Quistis was gone. Just as fast as she had walked into his life, she had walked out of it. With a sigh, he placed the letter back into the envelope, picked up the music box, and began the long treck home.