Chapter 9

Archer was still sitting on the gym's floor, trying to wipe away the blood from his face, when Niki came out of the dressing room.
She knelt down to help him: "Jonathan ... oh my God ..."
He raised his eyes and looked at her without saying anything.
It was written all over his face how deeply hurt he was.
She ran to pick up a damped towel and started to clean his hands and gently tampon his nose.
"You need a doctor, Jon, you're still bleeding."
"I'm fine. Just leave me alone." he answered brusquely.
"I won't do that." she rose to her feet and gave him a helping hand to get up. "Let's go to sickbay."

"Captain, you'll be happy to know that your nose is not broken. The trauma will heal in a few days." stated Phlox, turning off his scanner.
Phlox had managed to stop the bleeding and cure the contusion, but a bruise was clearly visible on Archer's face.
"Thanks, Doctor." he muttered.
Phlox looked questioningly at Niki and Archer: "You two haven't explained to me what happened yet."
"It was my fault" said Niki, before Archer could say a word. "We were practising kick-boxing and I let things get out of hand. I'm so sorry, Captain ..."
"I suggest you stop this kind of practice for a while." Phlox grinned.
"Certainly." she answered.
Phlox slapped Archer on the shoulder: "You're free to go ... get some rest. I suggest you take the day off tomorrow, Captain."
Archer nodded and left sickbay with Niki.
They walked silently through the corridor.
When they reached the door to his quarters, Archer said: "Thanks for the lie, but it wasn't necessary."
"I thought you didn't feel like telling the truth to the Doctor. I just wanted to get you out of ..."
He interrupted her: "You don't know what happened, so don't make a guess!"
His voice was rough and she could sense his anger.
Niki sighed: "I know it's not my business, but it's quite evident that you didn't get hurt by yourself."
Archer winced with pain.
"Does it hurt? Do you want me to bring ..." Niki asked, worried.
"I don't need a nurse, Niki."
"Certainly not. Good night, Captain."
Archer opened the door to his quarters.
"Good night." he muttered.
Niki turned her back on Archer and walked away, with a lump in her throat.
She had seen something in his eyes she didn't like at all.

Archer threw himself on the bed fully dressed.
He was stunned. He just couldn't believe it.
Why was I so foolish? he thought.
He cursed himself. He had forgotten for a moment he was her superior. This was totally inappropriate! He had even forgotten she was married. He sighed deeply.
Why did she cry when I was injured? Why was she jealous of Niki since the first moment she had come aboard and be her friend at the same time? he shook his head, he couldn't understand.
Maybe I misunderstood the meaning of her behaviour. I thought she was jealous, because I wished so. I wanted so desperately she cared for me. But she doesn't. And now I've ruined everything ... even our friendship.
He tossed and turned in bed, he could find no peace.
He recalled the scene in the gym. Her eyes were so sweet ... she had caressed his cheek and he had found the courage to kiss her lips. The soft lips he had dreamed about for years.
But she had pushed him away ... violently ... making him feel miserable.
He felt like hating her. He started trembling in anger.
He buried his face in his hands. He couldn't help himself. He gave into tears.

T'Pol was in her quarters, sitting on the floor, trying to regain control.
She barely heard the chime buzz.
"Come in."
It was Niki. She silently sat on the floor in front of T'Pol.
"You know ... I'm angry with you, T'Pol" she said this in a low voice.
T'Pol sighed deeply: "I assume the Captain told you that..."
Niki interrupted her: "He didn't say anything ... but it was quite evident what happened."
"How is he?"
"Phlox says he'll be fine in a few days. I told him it was a kickboxing accident."
"I didn't mean to hurt him."
"But you did." Niki said sharply. "And I'm not talking about his nose."
T'Pol looked away, speechless.
"When I looked into his eyes and sensed how deep he was hurt ..." Niki shook her head "I felt a rip in my heart."
T'Pol stared at her: "You have feelings for him."
"You too, T'Pol." was Niki's comment.
"I don't know what I ... feel."
"Feeling is not a shame, T'Pol. I know you Vulcans suppress emotions, but that doesn't mean you don't experience them."
T'Pol looked at Niki pensively. "It's not easy to explain ..."
"Try. At least help me understand why." Niki insisted. "I don't think he deserved this."
"Did you know that Vulcans are touch-telepaths?"
"I heard something about that."
"I touched his face ... and I felt his emotions. He overwhelmed me. I had to stop that." she swallowed.
Niki was puzzled: "I don't get it. You should be accustomed to human emotions, you have been around them for years. Should I believe that you never touched him or someone else before?"
"Yes I did ... but normally I can shield myself from human emotions. This time ..." she took a breath "I could not raise my mental shields to protect me."
"Maybe you wouldn't."
T'Pol opened her eyes wide.
"Even if you bravely suppress your emotions, T'Pol ... I think you're attracted to them ... and you want to test them. It's like a drug ..."
T'Pol was shocked by Niki's words. She talked like she knew ... but that was not possible. Only Phlox was aware of her past Trellium-D addiction ... he had kept the secret, she was sure of that. So, how could Niki read her so easily? That was inexplicable.
Niki went on: "That's the reason why you're the only Vulcan that lasted so long on a human starship. Even if you don't understand us entirely, you've developed a kind of affinity with us."
"I suppose I should thank you for being so true to me, Niki."
"You're welcome." Niki paused "I feel respect and admiration for you, T'Pol. And, as your friend, I want to be honest and tell you what I think. Even if it's not agreeable."
"I see."
"One last thing, T'Pol: you should talk to Jonathan, explain how you feel."
"I don't know how I feel, yet." T'Pol stated "And I'm doubtful he would understand."
"You underestimate your Captain, T'Pol." Niki gave half a smile. "I think he's ready to accept you as a Vulcan, now. He made a long and hard journey to get to this. But he made it." She took her hands: "But the question is: are you ready to accept him as a Human? With everything that's involved?"
T'Pol remained silent for a while, then she answered: "Not yet."
"If you care for him, you'll have to work hard on this."
Niki rose to her feet and went towards the door.
"He's attracted to you." T'Pol said this feeling bothered.
"I know ... but that's not enough." Niki sighed "I don't think I have a chance."
T'Pol said: "Niki ... do you really love him?"
"With all my heart." she confirmed.
"And ... you don't hate me? I know that humans are very possessive."
"No, T'Pol. I don't hate you. But if you hurt him again, I could change my mind."
She went out, leaving T'Pol with a sense of guilt.

Niki was in her quarters, looking at old photographs.
There she was with Jeremy Parker, her beloved daddy. She was only 12 years old and she had just won a local competition of Rhythmic Gymnastics. He was so proud of her, then. She kissed the photo.
"I miss you, daddy" she sighed.
Then she looked inside a big bag: ropes, ribbons, a hoop, a ball, two clubs ... and some gym costumes. She had nostalgic feelings.
It was very late, but Niki didn't feel sleepy at all.
She was still worried for Jonathan and hurt by his hardness.
She felt the wish for losing herself in music, so she could forget all this for a while. So she started something that would have got into a secret habit.