Chapter 10

Rumour had it that Airlock-Archer was back.
The days following the gym incident, Archer had isolated himself from the rest of the crew.
He had meals alone, he buried himself in his job, he didn't attend to movie nights or other recreative activities anymore.
Niki noticed he was building walls around himself, but she wisely decided to give him some time to heal and kept at a distance.
T'Pol had tried more than once to talk to Archer in private to make things clear, but he always had an excuse ready to avoid her.

When Enterprise reached a region of space near a comet he was eager to examine, he made the decision of going on reconnaissance with a shuttlepod, alone.
When he left the bridge saying he was going away for a day or two, T'Pol decided to reach him in launch bay.
Archer was loading the shuttlepod with the last equipments. He was aware of her presence, but looked away trying to seem busy.

"Captain, I need to speak with you." her voice was calm but also imperative.
"If it isn't a ship's matter, you should wait until I come back." he answered roughly, checking the contents of a case as if it was the most important thing at the moment. "And you're not coming with me, this time ... that's not a matter open for debate."
"If you're trying to make me feel ... guilty, you're being successful." she muttered.
"I didn't think Vulcans could feel guilty" he commented sarcastically.
T'Pol stared at him ... she could sense his grudge, but she decided to insist.
"It's illogical avoiding me and refusing to listen to my reasons." she said, folding her arms.
"What happened in the gym has nothing to do with your damned logic!" he raised his voice.
"Nevertheless, it has a logical explanation." she answered back.
Archer sighed: "I don't wanna know, T'Pol."

He entered the shuttlepod and she quickly followed him and closed the shuttle door.
"T'Pol ..." he snorted.
"Let me say what I have to ... then I'll leave you alone."
"You don't give me other options, do you?" he yielded.
T'Pol looked him straight in the eyes. She couldn't understand his aggressive attitude as a reaction to being hurt.
"I apologize ... if I hurt you. I didn't mean to do that." she paused "I know I overreacted."
"It's not the first time you overreact, T'Pol ... don't tell me you didn't have time to meditate, I don't get it." he turned the other way.
"Please don't interrupt me, Jonathan."
Being called by his first name, made him stare at her.
"I assume you already know that Vulcans are touch-telepaths."
He nodded.
"I trained myself to raise mental shields to protect me from human emotions ... but when I touched your face my shields weren't working ... I was overwhelmed by your ... emotional attachment and had an instinctive reaction."
"Beat me." he said, bitterly.
Her definition "emotional attachment" seemed so cold and detached. 'How very Vulcan' he thought.
"Was it so bad, T'Pol?"
"What?"
"Feeling me." Archer tightened his lips, feeling his heart aching.
T'Pol hesitated for a long time before answering: "No, but it was ... unsettling."
"I had forgotten that unchecked emotions can be distasteful to Vulcans." he said, remembering T'Pau's comment on Vulcan.
"I did not use that term." she answered, a little edgy.
"But the term "unsettling" is not a good one, is it?"
"You're misunderstanding its meaning."
"Recently I misunderstood a lot of things from you ..." he sighed deeply. "I thought there was ... a moment ... between us, but it's clear I was wrong. My fault, sorry."
T'Pol felt a wave of emotions assailing her ... she tried to fight them ... then she remembered Jonathan telling her that she had to open her mind and her heart ... but she wasn't ready yet.
Archer had hoped that T'Pol proved him wrong, that she said there was that moment ... but he realized he was a fool.
"It's better we stop this conversation, T'Pol. We are not getting anywhere."
She opened the shuttle door to get out, then she turned back.
"I didn't came here to blame you of anything. I only thought that an explanation was necessary."
"I haven't heard one thing that explains your behaviour before you hit me ... your tears, for example ... your jealousy." he said, out of patience.
"I already told you that ..."
He interrupted her: "What about your ... husband?"
"Koss has nothing to do with this." she muttered and got out of the shuttle.
While she was going away, Archer appeared at the shuttle door.
"What about Trip?" he urged.
T'Pol stopped and stiffened. She slowly turned towards Archer. He was there, angry and hurt, waiting for an answer.
"I have no answers for you." she said with a low voice, then she left launch bay.
"What about me?" he whispered, but no one was there to answer.
Archer gave a punch on the shuttle hull.
'Great!' he thought 'I've made an ass of myself!'

Niki was in the mess-hall having dinner with Hoshi. She was looking at the stars, distracted.
"Did you lose your appetite?" Hoshi asked.
"I was just ... thinking."
"You miss him."
"Who?"
"The Captain." Hoshi smiled "You have a crush on him, don't you?"
Niki nodded.
"He's been out there for 2 days and still doesn't come back." she sighed.
"He's studying the comet." Hoshi tried to reassure her.
"It doesn't take so long to make some scans ..." she shook her head "He wants to stay alone."
"He is that kind of man."
"Indeed."
Hoshi suggested: "Why don't you try to reach him? You're making tests with your shuttle, you could make a little ... detour." she winked.
"Nah ... he would kick my ass!"
"You never can tell."
Niki gave half a smile to Hoshi: "Maybe."

"Good evening ladies! You two want some company?" Trip and Malcolm were there with their trays.
"Why not?" said Hoshi "Have a seat."
They made small talk during the meal, then Trip said:
"You have plans for tonight?"
"Nothing special ... what do you have in mind?" Niki asked.
"A friendly poker?"
"If you like losing ..." Niki teased him.
"Wait a minute ... you don't know my great skill at playing cards, yet."
"If we played strip poker, I could leave you in your underwear in a few hands." Niki looked at Trip defiantly.
"We'll see who wins out!" Trip countered.
"Mmmm ... this evening could be ... interesting." Malcolm glanced at Hoshi and she blushed slightly.