Mac shook her head, giving Veronica an inescapable look. Her eyes deeply pleading, begging Veronica not to do this. Not to torture herself with these 'high school/perfect couple' fantasies. That this Logan relationship would never work and Mac believed, deep down that Veronica knew that and that's why Mac knew it was okay to voice her beliefs on the outcome of the relationship, convincing herself that she was just laying all the facts on the table . It was just coincidental that Mac's list of cons was much larger than that of the list of pros.
It had been a beautiful day and an even nicer dusk as the sun had dwindled on the horizon spilling shades of pink through the sky until it fell over the edge leaving an array of deep purples and blues.
Veronica and Mac had been in the empty parking lot of the school discussing Veronica's recent encounter with Logan. Logan, the boy in which Veronica's emotions had started off as that of a good friend, had turned the opposite direction and plummeted to enemy, had flirted with love for a while, and were currently resting at that of a distant acquaintance whose past, and probably future as well, were entangled, and deeply intertwined.
Words came easy to the two of them as they talked. Both were extremely direct and to the point and preferred the same consideration from others. Communication was the base on which Veronica and Mac's relationship had been founded. They understood each other in a way that no one else could, or even come came.
Mac opened her lips as if to say something and then quickly closed them again, but not before Veronica had noticed.
"Just say it Mac, I can take it. Honestly."
"But can you really Veronica? What's your definition of 'take it'? Is it when you confront these issues and work them out or does it mean that we act like nothing ever happened and that whatever part of your life that these events rocked never existed," Mac quickly rambled with an accusing tone that was never heard from her, but was fitting well in this particular situation.
Mac was honestly worried and deeply concerned for Veronica. Emotions were just something that Veronica Mars couldn't handle. Mac thought of how she had seen Veronica handle everything up until now, and it wasn't healthy. She put it away, tucked away perfectly, in the back of her mind. She would let the dust settle on it covering it with a thick layer of white fuzz where it would hopefully become less visible, less painful and as the years passed the memory would just disappear, dissolve into the dust. Or at least that is what Veronica hoped would happen, her attempt at an escape from her past, which in the pit of her stomach, she knew would never happen. Her past was a part of her. Was her. And she hated it.
"Okay, what is that supposed to mean Mac," Veronica said in a somewhat defensive, but more curious of a tone."
"All I am saying is that this Logan thing won't work. I am saying that your encounter with him was very symbolic, with a sheet of glass between you, that that is how your relationship would be. Your pasts would cloud and consume the relationship, preventing either of you from letting your walls down. The walls you both built to protect your emotions, your feelings, and your heart. During rough patches of the relationship, when people, lost in the maze, felt for the hall and smudged their hand prints onto the glass is when you could most definitely see and feel the glass wall between the two of you. Or you could try to polish and scrub the glass until you couldn't see that it was there. You could wipe all the fingerprints and dirt form it, hide the walls the best you could, but there would always be the pane of glass between you, a barrier to protect from pain and hurt. I guess that is what I am saying," Mac finally sighed.
Veronica sat silently, looking at the floor in the passenger's seat of the bug, hating Mac for that second for seeing through the disguise, and cursing the truth for that is what it was.
"But what if I throw a rock through that glass and shatter the wall," Veronica sheepishly smiled as a tear ran down her cheek, clinging to her until she finally wiped it away.
"Well then you'd have to climb through the hole in the glass, trying carefully not cut yourself, which you more than likely will do and you have to suck up the pain and reach him. And it would be hard. And it would be painful."
Veronica, hating how philosophical Mac sounded, but truly appreciating how Mac was reiterating the truth that she already knew and refused to acknowledge up until now, quietly uttered, "I don't know if I am ready to destroy my pane of glass yet. It has taken a lot of time, heartbreak, and disappointment to build. Can't I just take it out and put it to the side for safe keeping?"
"No, you have throw the rock through."
To Be Continued...