Calowiel: Ha! Yes, I hate those stories. And it always happens to. My parents favor the one from when I was five and I followed some Scottish man around for a while til I asked him to marry me. That's right. What can I say? He was a Scot! Well, I am glad you liked it. The font was…Oh, I can't remember. It was a P something. I will go back and look asap and let you know. Thanks!
CapriceAnn Hedican-Kocur: Well, look! I updated early, and it's a long one too! Trust me! Enjoy!
Linwe lossehelin: Heh heh! I am happy you liked it! This chapter should prove to be interesting indeed…Look forward to hearing from you!
JosieC: Thank you very much! Hearing from the readers is always great. Thanks for dropping a line! I hope you continue to enjoy this series - I know I am!
Laer4572: Heh, I am glad you are comfortable with the family. I was worried about smothering them into you guys, but it appears that everyone enjoyed them well enough. Introducing Mari was a challenge. Though I had mentioned her in JFT, I had never developed her character. And Mort as mentioned too and…Hmm..You shall see!
Julia: Bah ha! Oh man! I am glad you said that. I was really considering having those two going sledding. That is almost too fun to pass up. And into a snow bank! He'd never live that down, poor guy. Too bad. Heh heh! Oh Lord. Can you imagine? Seven kids? I would die. Holy terrors is a nicer term than I would use. Whew. Yeah, I thought that little twist with Ashk's parents might just break the ice between Ashk and them and the readers and them. Perhaps just a bit. That's right! I was trying to remember who referred to Ryn as Johnny. I could not remember for the life of me. Hmm..I should make a banner with all the characters and put Johnny on there just for you! Ooo, that man. Purr. Now, that's what I'm saying. I really don't think Haldir would have any competition…Cept maybe if it was Johnny Depp putting the moves on Ashk. LOL! Oh dear…
Greywolf Starkiller: Ello again! I was thrilled to see you back on the review board. Ashk certainly does have a soft heart. Developing her character has been great and this story is a bit of a test on her, as you will see. Mari and Ana are wonderful to write, I am glad you like them as well. And Mort…Oh, yes. You will see about that Mort fellow. Geh heh heh. Thanks for the review!
Radbooks: Ashk's family has been great to work with and develop with all this. This is a big turning point in the series (sort of) to see about Ashk's past and whatnot. And Mari…Pish! I don't think I would have asked that. I would have likely peed myself first, lol! Or drooled a bit..I might drool. Oo, you liked the cover? Wonderful! Thank you!
Sandy: lol! Aw, I'm sorry. You should get more sleep, my dear. And poor old Kali has a few months left. Poor girl, lol! But don't worry, that will end up in another chapter/story/thing. Heh. Unexpected, you say? Wonderful! I have a habit of hinting to things until their dead, lol. Heh, I really liked writing the scene with the whole family. Good memories of my own came up. Good ol' Wessen is about the best I can do for Mari - she's a wild girl! Lol! And, of course you know me! I must have lots of tears and what not during the big, dramatic scenes! (Just wait til the end of this series comes…I'll be bawling!) Mort makes his debut in this chapter…We shall see what you think of him then, heh. Thank you!
Huntress73: I know! Seven kids would kill me! I have enough of a problem with my two nieces when I occasionally watch them. Bah! Crazy Mari. Yes, I may have to drop in on that sledding bit. I've been thinking on it and think I have concluded it to come eventually, heh. Happy to see that you did not shy off of that big announcement by Ashk's mother. I was a bit worried folks would. No one did, so that's great! Ashk's daughter/daddy scene is in the works and lemme tell you…It's rough. But, before that there is Mort! And he-- Oh, right. You must read that. Heh. Thank you for going to look at the covers! Enjoy the chapter!
Whew! Man, you guys are the best. However….I have an announcement.
Due to my lack of time and whatnot, I need to come to a decision. A company I am contracted with has run into a bit of a problem and I'm going to have to work doubletime with them and schooling will be starting back soon as well. So, as you all can tell, I am a bit pinched for time. I can only work on two stories at a time (or, in this case, a series and a story) and while I have the two fan fictions, I have to somehow add in an major edit/rewrite project for a four hundred page book.
Much to my dismay and disappointment, I am going to have to discontinue The Mage until further notice. Though I enjoy writing the story and have lots of ideas for it, I have to stop due to real life issues. However, I will be continuing to update this series (which I need to come up with a name for..). I will be posting an Author's Note only on The Mage tomorrow on it's expected update on my profile.
I am very sorry about this, but it is a must until I either finish the edit or finish this series (which will not be until about, oh, twenty more stories or so. Seriously.)
Just thought I would let everyone know asap rather than dinking around with it.
Thanks again for all your support, guys! I really do appreciate it and I would not even be where I'm at today if it weren't for you.
NOTE: Sequences in Italics are memories. Quotes alone in Italics are considered to be spoken in Elvish.
Heavy Hearted
Chapter Three: Memories and Mort
Ashk
I woke to an awful noise that seemed to rattle the windows and the bed itself.
Haldir groaned, rolling towards me and covering his ears.
"You're it!" cried a voice in the hallway.
Again the noise came and I finally realized it was the sound of a child shrieking at the very top of his - or her - lungs. The sound of racing feet hammered down the hall before I heard Mari's whispered voice hissing something at them.
"Any more than three children at a time is out of the question. In fact, it should warrant a test of sanity," Haldir grumbled into his pillow.
I laughed at him.
"Oh, Haldir, you know you would have a whole herd of them if I would let you."
He snorted and lifted his head. I was amused by his tangled hair and sleepy eyes even as I combed my fingers through his sleek locks.
"I do not like children," he informed me. "I never have. I love ours - But anyone else's drive me to the brink of madness."
I laughed again, his dry humor amusing me as always. "I am glad you came, husband. I need you here to make me smile."
His hand closed around my wrist, yanking as he rolled and I found myself sprawled over him. "Much obliged, my Lady."
"You are such a brute!" I giggled.
"Ashk, I hope you are awa– Oh dear me!"
I only caught a flash of Mari as she opened the door and quickly stammered back out it, slamming it shut. My mouth dropped open before I clamored off of Haldir, accidently kneeing him in the gut hard enough to make him groan, and bolted for the door.
"Mari!" I hissed as she was walking quickly towards the stairs. "Mari!"
She did not turn around as her hand raised. "Nothing, nothing! My apologies, I did not think to knock!"
"Mauriel, I do not know what you think we wer– "
"Ah - Stop! Please!" She all but ran down the stairs and I stood in the door way, completely scandalized in nothing but a tunic of Haldir's.
Ana strolled down the hall whistling.
"Oh, shut your face, Ana! I will give you people something to gossip about!" I growled, turning away from the hall and slamming the door behind me.
Ana's laughter sailed through the thick wood with ease.
"Pray tell, what did I just lose some important body part to?" Haldir grumbled and I grimaced. I must have really hurt him as he still had not moved.
"Mari obviously thought we were - hm - in the middle of something," I told him, flopping on the bed and hiding my blushing face with a pillow.
Haldir grunted with laughter. "Well, at least she did not scream like Rumil did."
"Rumil had reason to scream - We were in the middle of something. That was the most embarrassing thing that had ever happened."
"To you or to him?" Haldir questioned before I smacked him with the pillow.
Haldir
"Do you have a bow?"
"Yes."
"Do you have arrows?"
"Consequently, yes."
"Can I see your bow?"
"I do not think that would be wise."
"What about the arrows?"
"No."
I glanced at the young child as he fell silent, peering at me with wide eyes that screamed his mother's name. He had informed me, more than once, that his name was Darius and he was my nephew. I, currently, was his favorite uncle - much to Ryn's dismay.
Ana soothed him by blaming it on my race.
I never wanted to be a human more than at that moment.
"Do you have a sword?"
Or a dwarf. I could be a dwarf.
"Darius, one more question out of you and you can talk to the horses while cleaning out their stalls," Wessen said sternly as he came back into the dining room. "And why are you not at your table, boy? Are you an adult?"
"Umm...Yes!"
"No. Get!"
The boy giggled and dove under the table only to sit among his siblings a moment later.
I barely contained a sigh of relief and looked to Ashk smiled at me, barely containing the amusement I could see in her eyes. When she snorted with laughter a moment later, I reached under the table and pinched her leg. She jolted, banging the table enough to have Ryn, Ana, and Wessen look at us curiously.
Mari placed a large platter on the table and I looked up at her.
She, on the other hand, kept her eyes avidly away from mine.
"Is she angry?" I asked my wife.
Ashk glanced at her sister and tilted her head. "No. She is embarrassed. Imagine of walking in on Orophin or Rumil and thinking they are having sex right there."
I grimaced. I had no need to imagine or think of it, I had experienced such horrors thrice between the two of them.
"I do believe they are talking about your blushing face, Mari," Ana pipped up. "Would you like to share what is bothering you so?"
"Anamel!" Ashk and Mari both erupted.
"What is all the racket?" Eira's voice joined in the loud noises of the room as she entered. I was shocked by the utter exhaustion that lined her face this morning.
"Nothing, Mama," Mari said with a scowl in Ana's direction. "Sit down and have breakfast. Wessen bought more sugar this morning."
A piece of bread flew across the room then and Ana turned in her chair towards the children's table. "Lynile!"
"It wasn'– Yes, Mama." Lynile was obviously a pathetic liar and I had to smile at the boy's proper obedience to his mother. Ryn chuckled slightly even as Eira scowled.
"Ana, you are so hard on the boy."
"And we are not having this discussion at the table," Ana replied seriously.
"I was merely mentioning the fact," Eira replied as Ryn leaned back in his chair, out of the dangerous glare way of the two women.
"Please, Ma. You would have me spoil him rotten! Life of a Gypsy is harder than the life you brought me up in," Ana replied. Ryn nodded, about to say something before Eira swiftly silenced him with a motherly glare.
He closed his mouth.
"He is just a boy," Eira said simply as she buttered her bread.
"Yes, and we have company," Mari interjected with a beaming smile at me.
"Oh, do not mind me," I said, raising my hands in surrender.
"Yes, don't mind him. Mother, really, what do you expect me to do?" Ana said not but half a beat after I had said anything at all.
"This happens," Ashk said to me softly. "Ana has always been a rebel."
"I would have never guessed," I replied with a smirk as Ana and her mother continued to argue over the morning table. Ryn kept his gaze down to his plate while Wessen's eyes darted from one woman to the other as they bantered.
"Mama, proper families do not argue so," Mari said then, trying to end the conflict and obviously having some affect on Eira. This was not the first time I heard anything of nobility and properness be brought into a conversation with the woman.
"True. Haldir, you do not argue with your mother now do you?"
An immediate silence fell and I could almost feel Ashk's eyes on me in that silence. I cleared my throat. "Unfortunately, my parents passed away some years ago," I said slowly. "I am afraid sometimes an Elf's immortality can betray some."
Silence ensued then and Eira's eyes immediately went to her plate.
"My apologies," she said quickly. "I did not mean to be disrespectful."
"It was only a question," I replied gently. "No harm done."
Quiet tension held for a long moment after that until Ashk, finally broke the silence by asking a ridiculous question about the meal that I knew she was well aware of the answer to.
Yet, her tactful loyalty made me touch her leg under the table in a quiet thanks before her hand squeezed mine.
"Liquor from Brimsal comes today. Haldir, perhaps you can help us unload it while Ashk helps Ma with Daddy and the healer?" Ana said some time later, her eyes boring directly into mine with some silent message in them I could not read.
"Oh, no. I can help you, Ana. Mari knows– "
"I need your help, dear," Eira said then, cornering my wife between the stares of her sisters and her mother.
"But, I..."
My hand squeezed hers under the table once again and she blinked. Ashk glanced to her mother before nodding in silence.
Noon
"This half," Ana's arms waved out to one half of the wagon. "Goes upstairs. You boys can do that. This half," she fanned over the other half of the wagon. "Goes behind the counter. We will take care of that."
"Eh, no. Mari's not lifting one damn thing," Wessen said in a tone so deep and commanding even I had to glance at him.
Not that I did not understand. It was a hard thing for a father and husband to deal with during pregnancy. We did not feel the same things our wives did nor did we know when doing one thing was too much and doing another was fine. It was unnerving, and my best personal answer was to conclude my own wife would do nothing to even possibly harm her or the babe.
Wessen had apparently come to the same conclusion.
And Mari gave him an identical look to the one Ashk gave me many times before Nethin's arrival.
"I have a babe on the way, not a damned broken back," Mari growled.
"I don't give a rat's either way. You lift one thing and that'll be the end of ya, ya hear?"
"You are insufferable sometimes, Wessen!" Mari growled before positively stalking away and inside the nearly empty tavern.
Ryn and I gave the man equally sympathetic looks.
"Never mind her, I will get Mort to help me," Ana said, striding by with a crate in grasp.
Ryn grumbled to himself before reaching into the wagon and grabbing several crates of the clanging liquor before turning towards the door.
As soon as I entered the tavern, a strange wave of familiarity came over me. The smell of it was tart - as all human taverns were - and the dull noise of lack of business seemed unnerving. The wind blew in behind me and I looked to the counter.
I glanced at the figure who entered behind the counter. Nearing me, I was only vaguely surprised as the cloak's hood was slid away revealing a human female. A narrow face shaded with dull brown locks of hair that had fallen from her tie. I had difficulty with human age, but I imagined she was mid into her second decade.
She smiled at me as she brushed away the hood of the cloak. "My Lord," she greeted in a mahogany voice. "Would you like something to eat?"
My eyes looked directly into hers before sliding the freshly empty glass towards her. I noted her kind smile contract slightly and brief surprise filtered in her eyes. Still, I cared little for whatever she thought or saw.
"Haldir?" Ryn bumped my shoulder as he passed. "Are you all right?"
I blinked. "Yes, I am fine," I replied, hearing a blustering tavern when - in truth - there were only a handful of patrons inside the small place.
"Up the stairs and to the left then," Ryn told me over his shoulder.
I nodded absently and walked forward towards the stairs.
She tapped her fingers against the counter. "Perhaps I should show you to your room."
I glanced at the counter once more to see an unfamiliar man walking from behind it, speaking with Ana with a smile on his face.
I shook my head, moving up the stairs.
"Easy no– Oh, dear. I should get someone to help you."
"No. No. I am fine," I replied, my voice slurring as I used her to keep my balance. She barely managed to keep us both from plummeting down the stairs as she yanked me up the steps.
Feeling suddenly nauseous - a truly disgusting feeling for an Elf - I put the crates of liquor down at the top of the stairs and leaned against the rail a moment.
"Just down this way, my Lord."
Ashk's voice haunted me, following into the darkest places of my mind as my mind relived the night I had so securely forgotten for years. Among grief and rage, the night and the days before it had been little more than a blur.
Yet now, with a frightening speed, my mind dragged forth the memories I had forgotten for so long now.
The floor did not creak under me as I stepped onto the second level even as I heard the distinct whine of the wood deep within my mind.
Slowly I walked down the hall, forgetting the others as I looked at the doors I passed. I walked by several until I found myself standing at one in particular, glaring at the old wood before looking to the iron handle.
She looked at me critically as I leaned on the door frame as she opened the door. "I am afraid it's not much," she said then, moving inside and lighting the nearest candle.
I reached out and touched the door handle. Slowly, I pushed it down and entered the room that was bright with the noon sun outside and empty with no fire to show.
I heard the stumble of booted feet but, only when I clambered into her did I realize that it was I who had staggered. Managing to save us both from a jarring fall to the ground, I clutched her close mostly as a stability for myself.
Marred with the taste of liquor and weighed too heavily by something far different, I laughed at myself slightly - not bothering to release her.
"Are you all right?"
Her voice wavered in my mind, shaking away the fogs within.
Looking at her, my drunken smile slowly faded. Not a moment later, she shivered slightly in my grasp.
"Are you cold?" I asked.
"What- no," she replied quickly, shaking her head.
"You are shivering," I mentioned.
I glanced at the door, turning and slowly closing it as the past suddenly flooded my mind.
"You must let me go," she said, a nervous laugh in her voice. When I did not comply and instead stared at her, the smile disappeared. "Please let me go."
"But you are so cold," I replied, pulling her closer to me even as she tensed. I smiled slowly at her, the liquor fading and the mere grief flooding me to act such a fool. "Do not be cold tonight...What is your name?"
She trembled again. "Ashk," she said meekly.
"Ashk."
I turned, the room whirling with voices that did not exist.
I kissed her. Long, warm, and hungry. She did not respond spite a muted moan into my mouth that made me chuckle.
She turned her head away then. "Please don't."
"You do not mean that," I said slowly, releasing the tension of my hold on her. "Do you, Ashk?"
She said nothing. I turned her tilted face towards mine once again, taking her lips with a softer ease.
This time, she replied and I smiled into her lips.
I sat on the edge of the bed, my throbbing head falling into my hands as I tried to slow the memories. I tried to push them aside, to bury them once more if only for now but they raged on. Heedless of my attempt for control, my memories ruled me.
"Wait - Wait!" I bit back a growl as I looked at her in question. She looked disheveled and in a state of shock. "I do not even know your name."
I sighed, closing my mouth over hers. When she tried to push me back, I managed to answer her inquire. "Haldir."
She turned her head away, managing to separate us. She stared at me a long moment. "I've heard that name before."
I shrugged slightly. "You may have." My hand trailed to her hair, pulling the tie down, her hair tumbling down her shoulders.
She looked more wild with her hair down.
"I am the March Warden of Lothlorien."
She jolted at this, surprise flashing brightly over her face. I felt her breath leave her quickly. Finally, she shook her head. "I cannot do this," she said, shifting to roll away.
"Why not?"
She blinked at me, a quiet fear in her eyes that took me aback.
"...Because," she provided, making me smile slightly. She had longing in her eyes, it was her mind telling her to run.
"Oh?"
"You're freezing," she said, trying to pull away from me as my touch trailed along her collar.
"And you are warm," I replied. I slid an arm around her as she tried to pull away again. Rolling over slightly, I peered down at her doe colored eyes."You needn't leave - I will not be cold long. Not with you here."
She stared at me a moment and I could feel desperation fill me. Many things could cure one of painful memories and I was hoping this simple woman was one of them. I did not want this night to be as the handful before since...since then. Since it happened; when everything went wrong.
Fear was still in her eyes and I vaguely wondered if she saw the fear in my eyes. The fear I felt of what this night would bring if she left.
"Do not leave," I said quietly. "I swear not to hurt you. I would never hurt someone like you."
Ashk did not reply, staying rigid as I watched her carefully. Slowly, I leaned towards her again to taste her mouth to mine. A relieving heat flushed me when she did not turn away and the tension left her as I pulled her close, my hands venturing once more.
Muffled voices, roaming hands.
A virgin's cry ignored.
Tumbling bliss.
When the fire died away, I did not rise to refresh it. She would not be cold any time this night. Even the chill that had rested deep in me the past several days was gone.
A choking tension had coiled in my throat as I looked around the room. For the first time I remembered rising the next morning, smelling the scent of a woman and only imaging the whore I had managed to find in human lands.
I closed my eyes at the thought and rubbed my face over with my tingling hands.
I had never asked my wife of that night in many years. I remembered bits and pieces, pieces which I thought had been enough.
I was wrong.
I had not been gentle nor had I been patient. I had been greedy and had completely ignored her virginity - a near sin in Elven realms.
"Haldir?" a voice in the hall broke my thoughts thankfully and I quickly stood, my nausea wisping away, and opened the door.
Ryn looked at me in question.
"What are you doing?" he asked with a slight frown.
"Nothing," I replied quickly, turning out of the room and closing the door behind me as I went back down the hall without a cursed glance back.
Ashk
I picked up the tray again and held it steady for a moment. Then, slowly, the plate and two glasses began to shake with a tinkering ring to them. I sighed, plopping the tray back onto the counter and glaring at it.
This was ridiculous. For being the one that was supposedly coming here composed, cool, and collect, I certainly was not acting like it. In fact, I could not remember a time when I was more nervous than this in the past few years.
I reached for the tray again when strong hands suddenly grabbed me, whirling me around and yanking me into a broad chest.
I was shocked at first and frowned as Haldir clutched me to him as if he had lost me for a decade.
"Haldir?"
He did not reply for a moment and just held me. I could hear his heart racing under my ear and my frown deepened as I pushed away from him to look my husband in the eyes.
"What is it?"
He had the strangest look on his face. Nostalgic almost. Regretful and yet with some strange peace.
"I never meant to be cruel," he said softly and my frown was wiped away by shock.
"Cruel?"
"That night. Five years ago. I never meant to be cruel to you."
It took me a moment to even comprehend what he could possibly be talking about. He had shocked me so much my mind seemed to be dumbfounded for a long moment.
"Five yea..." My voice trailed away as I suddenly realized what he was speaking of. "But...You don't remember anything.."
His hands slid down either side of my face before dropping to my hips.
"I remember everything," he said, his voice a bit hoarse. "The room number, how you ended up in there with me. How I rushed you."
I tilted my head at the utter shame in his voice. "Haldir...You did not rape me. I made my choice that night and I thank the Gods every day that I did. You did not force yourself on me, don't think like that,"I told him seriously, my voice even as I knotted my fists in his tunic.
"I should have been kinder," he replied with a frown.
I smiled slightly. "It doesn't matter now. All that matters is what has happened since then. Our children. Could you even imagine being without them now?"
He smiled a bit then. "Of course not."
"And just think, we would not even be where we are now if that night hadn't happened," I added then, happy to see his mood lightening from it's dreary shadow. "I'd be stuck in a tavern and you'd probably be ensnared by that wench from Rivendell."
He laughed then and I grinned at the warm sound.
"You think so?" he mused, backing me towards the counter.
"Perhaps."
He made a disapproving sound and leaned dangerously closer.
The sound of haggard coughing made us both freeze. The wretched hacking coughs made my stomach swirl and my smile disappeared as fast as my husband's did.
"I should go up there," I said then, yet I made no motion as to move.
Haldir looked down at me. A deep breath filled his chest and he kissed my forehead. "We would not be here now if that night hadn't happened," he repeated softly, his words soothing over me. He looked me in the eye seriously and I nodded to assure him before he backed away and left the kitchener.
I turned, facing the tray of food with renewed determination. I grabbed it firmly and strode towards the stairs with purpose.
Halfway up the stairs, the tray began to shake again and I cursed myself as I continued into the hall.
The sound of the coughing had faded to wheezing and I swallowed slightly as I neared the door I knew my father was behind. I paused outside it for a moment, listening to my mother moving around, whispering this and that to her husband.
Biting my lip, I balanced the tray and opened the door quietly.
Inside, the curtains were drawn to shadow. A single candle was lit on the small bedside table and it gave a dark amber glow to the man who laid on the bed. Sweat glistened from his forehead and it was not just shadows that rung darkness under his eyes.
The sound of his wheezing breaths tainted the air and made me stop once again inside the door.
His beard had been shaved, giving him a foreign look to me. Since I was a little girl my father had worn a beard on his jutting face. And, even in the shadows, I could see his hair had greyed significantly in the past years.
"Put it there, Ashk," Mama told me, pointing to the trunk at the end of the bed.
I forced myself to follow her instructions, my eyes watching my father like he was some animal about to lunge at me.
Yet, I doubted he even knew I was there. His eyes were squeezed closed with every drawn breath and his face was pale. He murmured things, incoherent and mumbled his words that gave an eerie sound to the room that so readily reeked of death.
"Try talking to him," Mama said then.
I looked at her with a frown and shook my head.
"Ashk."
"Ashk..." my father repeated with a windy voice that made me jump. I was ready to flee only to notice that his eyes were not open. He did not know I was even in the room with him.
Did he?
His head turned from side to side as if fighting off some sort of pain as he grimaced.
"Never...tried...I.." He continued to mumble things and I backed away from him slowly. "Come back." In the whisper of his words I could have sworn I heard my heart break. "Come back."
I stared at him a long moment, unsure of what to feel or think.
"Do you hear him?" Mama asked softly, brushing a cool cloth against his forehead. "He does this. Calls for you in his fever. It is worst in this time of day."
I ducked my head, looking away from him.
"Come. Sit and talk to him," she said then, motioning to a chair near the bed. "It helps."
"I do not want to talk to him," I said lowly, backing away with slow steps.
Mama looked up at me with trembling eyes before she nodded. "That is fine," she said softly, but her voice was as broken as her eyes.
Finally, she put the cloth down and turned to me.
"Ashk, your father does not have much time left in this world," she told me with a terrible shake in her voice. "Will you not give him the chance to amend what he has done?"
I stared at her for a moment. "How can he amend such a thing?" I whispered, looking at the dying man turning deeply among a hot fever and a sickened body. "He can do nothing."
"Give him a chance, Ashk," Mama pled as I turned for the door. "Please." She nearly sobbed the word and I stopped, much to my own disgust. "Please give him the chance to settle his soul."
Why should I?
That was what I wanted to say. I wanted to be cold and uncaring - just as much as he had been all that time ago - but it seemed as though my mouth would not form the words.
"Just sit. Listen," my mother said softly, walking towards me and taking my arm. She led me to the chair and I sat only because my knees seemed to wobble slightly beneath me.
So, there in that shadowed room I sat. And I listened.
And I let my heart break all over again.
Dusk
Haldir
Mari's herd of children ran by me yet again as I pushed through into the kitchener. I frowned seeing Mari and Ana inside with Ashk no where to be found. I had not seen her since earlier that afternoon.
Ana glanced at me.
"Are you all right?" she asked. "Ryn said you were acting a bit strange earlier." She then looked back to the dinner she was preparing. "Not that I really take heart to it. You are always strange."
I smiled and walked to her. "You may say that, Anamel, but your mother informed me you speak quite highly of me when I am not around."
She gave me a look. "Please, get those Elf ears of yours checked, March Warden. I would not speak highly of you to a horse tail."
Mari burst into laughter and looked at me with a shake of her head. "Do not listen to that, Haldir. You should hear her– "
"Mari!" Ana exclaimed, her face gaining a red tint to it that I found most amusing before she turned away and stalked out of the room with a dish of food.
Mari laughed. "She enjoys to keep a love hate relationship with many people, Haldir. It is one of her worst qualities."
I chuckled, glancing at the swinging door before looking to Mari once more.
"Have you seen Ashk?"
She frowned slightly. "She is still upstairs as far as I know," she replied to me.
I frowned in return and glanced towards the stairs through the still swinging door.
Yet, suddenly, the door was pushed open fiercely and a man stood in it's wake. His hair was a bit wet from the snow outside while his face was red with the cold. His eyes, however, were nothing less than flaming as he glared at me directly.
"So, you're him," he said, his voice holding a grudge in it that made me frown.
Mari had turned to see him. "Mort, what has gotten into you?" she demanded and I raised a brow at the man.
"You should have told me this morning, Mari," the man growled, his glare turning on the woman.
"Told you what, exactly?" Mari said, her voice haughty and obviously annoyed.
"That Ashk was here. That her damned rapist was here as well."
"Mort!"
I straightened at his words, my eyes narrowing at the man and was satisfied when he shifted under their weight.
"How dare you say such a thing!" Mari exclaimed, completely flabbergasted by the man as Wessen entered the room from the opposite door. "He is her husband and you know better than such words in this house!"
"What is going on?" Wessen questioned, his voice low as he neared us.
"It's been five years, Elf, have you had your fill of her yet!" Mort demanded, pointing at me but not moving from his place.
"Mort!" Wessen boomed moving forward before I raised my hand to stop him.
The room fell to a silence for moment as I appraised the man standing near the stove. He was not tall, but he was broad and the fire in his eyes was enough to heat the room as it clashed with my own.
"Who are you to say such a thing?" I said slowly, my voice as deep and commanding as it was on the borders.
The man's chin lifted. "Morton, son of Moran."
"He is a family friend, Haldir," Mari said then, her voice silently pleading with me not to do anything rash for the family's sake.
Ashk
I frowned at the raised voices I heard in the kitchener as I came down the stairs. I glanced to the children piled on the sofa with Ryn as he told them one of his gypsy tales without pause. They had apparently heard nothing.
Turning from the stairs I walked through the dining room and to the curtained arch into the kitchener.
"He is a friend of the family, Haldir," I heard Mari say softly and I frowned.
"A damned friend of the family who wants to see you outside," added a deep voice that made my frown disappear in shock.
There was almost an amused chuckle. Arrogant at the least and I growled deep in my chest as I knew it was Haldir.
"For what reason?" he questioned as I parted the curtain to step inside.
"Rape, you bastard!"
Shocked by the declaration, I froze even as my husband suddenly had a familiar man by the collar.
"Haldir!" My voice rang in the room just as Ana came plowing through the common room door.
Haldir paused long enough to turn his head to see me.
That was all Mort needed as he threw his fist into my husband's face and his knee into his gut.
Chaos erupted as Haldir did not release the poor fool but instead drove him backwards into the wall behind him, staggering them both on the stove as Mort struggled in his grasp.
"Stop it!" Ana cried, trying to wedge herself between the two as Mort twisted under Haldir's grasp, shoving Ana away and sending her staggering into Mari. Pots and pans crashed to the ground as my sisters knocked them off of the counter in their tumble.
Wessen had managed to pry Haldir away as I rushed to Mari as she fell to the ground.
"Mari?" Wess's voice was laced in heavy concern even as he dragged my husband back.
Mort lunged at Haldir, knocking all three of them backwards as Ryn came rushing in the room.
"Mort! Stop!" I demanded in vain as the three tussled over each other in the middle of the kitchener.
Ana lunged into them once again only for Ryn to drag her out from the brawl.
Past any point of rage, I pushed away from Mari and grabbed Mort by the back of his tunic, yanking him away from the other two plummeting him. He struggled again my grip, pulling me with him until Ryn grabbed him as well, pulling him back.
"You damned bastard!" Mort exclaimed. "I'll kill you!"
Ryn pulled the hysteric man to a stand and the moment he was eye level with me my hand cut across his face. The echo of the slap dropped everyone into silence.
Mort stared at me with wide eyes as I glared at him.
"How dare you," I hissed.
"Ashk– "
I slapped him again for the sake of my sister and her baby.
"Get out," Wess commanded, pulling Mari to a gentle stand. "And we will see who is doing the killing if anything happens because of this."
Mort looked at Mari, blood leaking from a broken lip and trickling from his brow. "I did not me– "
"Get. Out."
I would know no man who would not obey Wessen in that moment. Mort was no exception. He turned to me.
"May I speak with you?"
"No," I replied stiffly. "Perhaps after I have tended to my sister and husband I will consider."
He tilted his head, his eyes shooting briefly towards Haldir before he ducked his head and turned, leaving through the swinging door. I waited until I heard the outside door open and close to look at Mari as Wess ushered her away.
"I am fine," she said, forcing a reassuring smile. Yet, in her eyes I knew the concern she well earned in her motherhood.
"You are going to lie down," Wess told her, but his voice was gentle as he led her out of the room.
I looked to Ana, her hair disheveled but her face flushed with anger before I turned around to see Haldir. That first wicked blow had left his mouth bleeding and his fists were still clenched even as he stood there.
"Sit down," I demanded, my voice taut as I pointed to a chair that had fallen to it's side. Turning to look for some sort of towel or rag, I found the mess that had been formed on the counter and floor.
Ana cleared her throat. "Ryn, why don't you see to Haldir and Ashk and I will clean this up?"
Silently I was thankful to my sister and I did not turn to Haldir's reluctant steps as he followed Ryn.
"Acting like a bunch of dogs," I growled, stooping down. "Have to piss their territory before civil conversation." I clattered the pans together as Ana knelt down beside me.
"Mort never believed you went to bed with anyone willingly, Ashk. I am sure he thought he was trying to protect you in...some way. However men think."
I all but snarled. "Never thought I would see the day a brawl would break out in this home," I grumbled. Ana nodded in agreement and we cleaned the kitchener in silence.
Later
Haldir
I did not know quite what to expect as I opened the door and entered the bedroom Ashk and I had stayed in the night before. I could conclude nothing from her behavior in the kitchener nor even at the dinner table. Everyone had been quite solemn and the ominous sound of her father's illness up the stairs was eerie to say the least.
She was walking to the bed as I closed the door behind me. When she turned to look at me I tilted my head and clicked the lock behind me.
"Are you angry?" I questioned, striding forward.
"With you?" she replied, raising a brow as she pulled down the sheets to the bed. "No."
I would admit that I was relieved. Ashk and I were two very different people and when the occasional argument occurred, it was never a pleasant sight. Arguing with her as her family was just across the hall would just make things worse.
However, I was not soothed by her words even if I was relieved.
"Who was that man?" I asked seriously.
"An old friend," she said, but she was frowning as she sat on the bed, crossing her legs under her as she turned to look at me.
"Some friend," I replied, scowling as I pulled my tunic from my belt.
"He was always protective."
"What was he protecting you from tonight?"
"You," she replied simply and I shot her a look. "And do not think I am not angry with him because I am. I'm furious, but you have to understand in some way."
Leave it to Ashk to be furious while looking so calm.
I, on the other hand, wanted my sword and a half dozen Goblins with a passion.
"He had no right to say what he did."
"No, he didn't," I replied, irked as I ripped my tunic over my head and toed out of my boots. "And if your sister's babe was hurt in any way, he will not have wonder over his words any longer with Wessen around."
"Mort would have to deal with Ana and I first."
I glanced at her to see she was serious.
She sighed then and as I blew out the candle she buried herself under the blankets. "We can talk about this in the morning."
I laid still for a long time beside her, listening to her breathe and still mulling over that idiot man earlier.
I turned my head towards the door as I heard coughing down the hall. It seemed only then did I remember that Ashk had been with her father all day and I frowned at myself.
Rolling over I wrapped an arm around my wife, pulling her back to my chest.
"Did you speak with your father?" I asked softly.
She took a deep breath. "No," she replied. "He was in too deep of a fever for me to speak to him. He just...mumbled a lot."
The disturbed tone in her voice made my dread scale.
"Do you want to tell me about it?"
She shook her head and though I felt a tinge of disappointment I said nothing more. Instead, I merely held her and silently willed her into a dreamless sleep.
But, she did not sleep. And neither did I. Not until midnight came and she turned into me, curling against my chest.
"Haldir?"
"Hm?"
"You truly remember all of that night?" she asked softly, her fingers drawing against my bare stomach with a tickle.
"Everything," I replied, stroking her hair.
She took a deep breath then as if in contentment. Her lips pressed against my skin, kissing my chest with a warm brush before she lay still and quiet.
Only then did she sleep. And as I listened to her gentle breaths, I silently relived the past that had brought us to that moment in her family's home. Every detail came to mind until I faded into dreams where I watched five years trickle by.
And somewhere in those dreams I heard the coughing illness of her father. I heard it until I woke at dawn only to a still and silent home.
- - -
Wow, that was so long. You may remember some of those memories were given away in JFT. At least we've cleared the air for the most part about that night between our little couple.
Well, was Mort the trouble maker many of you predicted?
Next chapter: Ashk and Daddy Dearest reunite! ...or not... lol! And, gasp! The return of Mort! ...bastard.
Next update: July 24 or 25th or maybe before then...Teh heh.
-Slater