Disclaimer: Inuyasha belongs to Takahashi Rumiko et al., not me. I just borrow them to have some fun.
A/N: Many thanks to my beta, Raijin!
Chapter VIII – Quiet Before the Storm
While Kagome was asleep, I sat at her bed at night. Outside, the crickets were singing their song of a rainy summer and damp grass, and the moon was rising unstoppably, getting bigger by the hour. There are three nights where the moon is full every lunar month, and the first was approaching fast, along with it the next visit of our enemy.
A few rooms away, the demon exterminator slept quietly next to her husband, who was breathing very faintly. I could smell his life fading away to the other side with every second, and so could Inuyasha, who slept a few rooms away from him. Kikyo, the dead priestess, did not sleep, but sat in her room and sung to herself under her breath, while her sister snored lightly not far away. Kikyo, she had told me, could not sleep, but tried to sing herself to sleep nevertheless.
All of Kagome's friends had taken refuge in my castle, as to be close by when Naraku came to take the shards and our lives. Needless to say that it was not my wish for them to join us here, but soon, Inuyasha turned up with Kikyo, saying that the dead priestess insisted on seeing Kagome because she kept having prophetic dreams about her. This woke Sango up, who demanded to know why Inuyasha was not at Miroku's side to protect him, and soon one word gave another and they were at knife's point with each other, so before Kagome, who was standing close by and trying to calm them down could even look up with pleading eyes, I gave order that the former monk and the old miko were to be brought to my home as fast as possible. This satisfied Sango, who immediately gave up her argument with Inuyasha, who, robbed of his opponent, turned on Kagome instead.
"I would like to have word with you, Lady Kagome," he said in a formal tone. Kagome looked at him in astonishment, and I also was wondering since when my half brother had turned to formality. Kagome nodded and with the briefest of glances at me, led the way to her rooms. I stayed still and looked at Inuyasha's red form before I quietly followed them. It was not worthy of Sesshoumaru to eavesdrop, of course, but in this case, I thought, I would make an exception.
In Kagome's bedroom that was connected to her morning room by a sliding door I found unexpected company. Before I could order everyone out, the demon exterminator shook her head and the old priestess stepped in front of me and bowed. Kikyo just sat on the floor and looked out of the window. I sat down without a word, not wanting to draw attention of the occupants of the other room to myself. It did not bother me if Kagome found the others out, but I wanted to save myself the disgrace of being discovered listening to a private conversation that did not concern me… or at least that I was not intended to hear.
In the room, Kagome sat down and looked at Inuyasha.
"You look… expensive, my lady," he said.
"Is this all you have to say?" Kagome asked calmly. "Would you like to know how I am doing?"
"I can smell you," he said coolly. "You smell like a demon you are turning into. You smell of him. What else is there to say? I bet though, that he did not touch you yet, for fear of fathering another stain to our family's immaculate lineage." I expected to hear a slap, or Kagome have him kiss the floor, but the only things I was able to hear were rustling of Kagome's kimono and a soft touch of skin to skin.
"Don't cry," Kagome said. "I know you are hurt. I know exactly how it feels. I know…"
Another rustling of fabric, and I could imagine Kagome being drawn closer to Inuyasha in a tight hug, then choked sobbing, and Kagome's 'no, dear, don't' to my half brother. Soon, it stopped, but he did not let her go. Instead he asked:
"How are you doing? How is he treating you? Are you alright?" Through a small cut in the paper door I could see that he was holding her and stroking her hair, causing the jewels that were attached to it to fall to the floor. The schedule for the day was: murder younger half brother, have the door repaired and the room cleaned. I meant to make him pay for touching my future wife so intimately. Would I ever be able to remove the taint of the half-breed from Kagome, though?
"I am fine," she said and stroked the chain around her neck with her thin clawed finger. The nail had been painted blood red by her maids. "Sesshoumaru is a very courteous demon." She thought about it. "To me," she added. With some effort she managed to free herself from his arms and sat next to him, her knees touching his when she sat opposite of Inuyasha.
"But he refuses to remove the chain?" Inuyasha asked.
"Yes," Kagome said, "he does."
"Naraku is going to be here soon."
"We will meet him together," Kagome said. "Whatever happens, we will all be together."
"Do you love him?" Inuyasha asked. I wished I could simply murder the other occupants of the room who were suddenly listening very attentively to what Kagome would answer. Even the dead miko was listening, although she still pretended to look out of the window. In the next room, Kagome sighed.
"After… us…" Inuyasha had the decency to look at the floor, while Kagome continued. "I started talking to your brother. He is not a monster. He is a villain, but not a monster. He is not someone who will kill for sport, and he is not interested in world domination. He is just… Sesshoumaru and he will keep what he has and protect what is his." Kagome's voice faltered for a second as she swallowed down the pain that came from the transformation. Inuyasha took her hand and waited until she could talk again.
"Does it hurt a lot?" he asked. "I remember how awful it was when I tried it."
"I can live with it," Kagome said.
"Your pupils turned to slits and back to rounds just now," he said. "You're almost there. It was very quick; I don't think a human would notice." His tone was quiet, and I was not sure if he was talking about Kagome turning a demon or about his own, failed try at transformation.
"No!" Kagome said. "Not yet. I am far from being a demon yet!"
He just nodded. "About my brother?" he asked.
"I don't think you have the right to ask me that, Inuyasha." After a pause, Kagome finally said.
"Who else? You used to love me, remember?"
"I used to. But you chose differently, didn't you?"
"It was you who showed her in my path and you demanded I chose her. You even gave her a part of yourself to make sure I would be drawn to her enough to leave you alone. Looks to me I was in the way of your ambition that had suddenly turned somewhat… higher?"
"How dare you?"
"How dare you?"
"You have never really wanted me, you always were neither here nor there, and I have had enough of that, can't you see?"
"It was you; from the moment on I opened my eyes at the tree, not the dead woman! You don't even see how it feels to be drawn to her because of your soul in her, but at the same time repelled by her scent of death and decay."
"Don't lie! You came to like me because of her, not the other way around."
He became quiet, and then said:
"So be it then. But just so you know - if you ever change your mind, I'll be waiting. Guess it's just fair, since you've waited for me, too."
"Inuyasha…" He let go off her and got on his feet.
"I guess we'll see each other at dinner?" he said. "I wonder if Sango is going to let me see Miroku?" With that, he left the room. Kagome waited a moment or two, and then left also. The women and I sat quietly, saying nothing, until Kikyo suddenly came back from whatever land her mind was wandering in.
"Inuyasha thinks I smell of decay? And he wants to wait for Kagome?"
Kaede tried to calm her down, but Kikyo shook off her sister's hand and opened the window.
"I will be leaving now," she said, turning to me. "Tell Kagome that she cannot have what is mine. If she is to live, I cannot stay any longer, and it would be impolite to abuse your hospitality by breaking the peace of this house. If she leaves here, we will meet again, in war." With that, she jumped to the garden below and left quickly, without once turning back. Sango shook her head and decided to go and sit at her husband's bed. The old woman looked at me wisely.
"Not all hope is lost, my lord," she said. "You should think about what you really wish for. Fear not the sword that has been made from your fang - you are a great warrior, you may live through it. Fear what comes after the battle. You have heard that she still thinks highly of you. Can you not reconsider? You still have time."
"She has been asking me the same question every single day since she came here, and my answer has stayed the same. No matter what happens, I want Kagome to be a demon. I will not change my mind, old woman. Now, I think we should leave this room."
Kaede bowed slightly and left me alone. I sat on Kagome's bed and repeated the conversation between her and Inuyasha in my mind. The two of them could never speak calmly to each other; it was a constant up and down of misunderstandings and consolation. Tomorrow evening, in the first night of the full moon, I would have to fight a great enemy, the greatest, even, with a pregnant demon slayer, an old woman, an immature half-demon and an almost-demon woman who was being crushed by pain as my allies.
My head began to swim, so I lay back on Kagome's bed. The covers smelled of her. I slept until Shippo and Rin came to the room, laughing and talking. They were startled to see me in a room I was not supposed to be in, but then they laid their heads next to mine, and decided to take their afternoon naps in Kagome's bed. Even Shippo, who was not as clueless as he looked, fell asleep beside me, but not before he had given me a stern look for being in his mother's bedroom.
The great Lord of the Western Lands asleep between two children must have been a ridiculous picture, but since nobody but Kagome ever saw it, it did not matter.
The children had left me some a while ago when Kagome came in. In my sleep, I felt her enter the room and look at me, but my mind would not let me wake. I was bathing in her scent, between her sheets, without dreams. She sighed and sat next to me, playing with my hair and stroking my forehead. When I finally opened my eyes, she was there, above me, with a half-smile on her face.
"So tell me, my lord, was your brother saying the truth?"
"Pardon me?" I said, still sleepy. "What do you mean?"
"I know you have heard everything we have said. I can feel you, have you forgotten?"
To my shame, I had to admit I had forgotten.
"So, was he right? Did you not touch me for fear of producing a half-human child?"
The thought had never occurred to me like this. I stayed still, thinking about it. Apparently it took me too long for Kagome's liking. She frowned. I still said nothing. She started to rise from the bed angrily, but I clamped my hand around her wrist.
"Would you believe me if I said it was not because you were human?"
"I still am human. And I wouldn't believe a word-"
I interrupted her in a cold voice that made her heart miss a beat: "Would you like me to prove to you otherwise, right now?"
Kagome struggled to free her wrist from my grip, but failed.
"Would you?" I insisted.
"No! No. Let me go."
I let go of her wrist, and she fell backwards and landed on her behind in a mess of blue, red and golden silk, jewels and black hair. I looked away from her and contemplated the mandala that was painted on the ceiling of Kagome's room, while she struggled to get up and regain some dignity.
"I do not know why I did not engage in such… activities with you," I said finally. "Perhaps my brother was right, perhaps he was not. I do not wish to discuss this any further right now."
"If you loved me, you would not have to think about it," Kagome said.
"I guess you are right," I said. She fell into silence. Soon I could hear her lie down next to me. She looked at the circling colours above our heads.
"It's not fair, I know," she said. "I know you only want me for my power. I was stupid to hope I could be more than a tool to any of you."
I said nothing to her, nothing to console her. Soon she fell asleep next to me, and this is where the night and the moon found us, while the crickets were singing their song.
"Sesshoumaru," she said between sleep and awareness, "You are cruel. Will you not let me go?"
"No," I whispered. "Your place is with me." I slipped a finger between her red lips. With my claw, I made a small cut on the inside of her mouth, where my poison could work, but the cut would not leave a scar.
She sighed and slept on. I stayed and played with her hair and counted the eyelashes that lay black on her skin, powdered in silver by the moonlight. She looked as transparent as a dream, one that, if held too tight, would dissolve in a myriad of tiny lights and vanish.