Chapter 24

Tension hanged heavy in the air. Archer, T'Pol and Daniels had moved in the briefing room on her request. She could see that Jonathan was deeply upset by Niki's death and she didn't want him to stay in sickbay any longer, staring at her dead body. His eyes were bleary and he looked pale.
It was Daniels who broke the silence: "I'm so sorry, Captain."
"Spare me your pathetic apologies, Daniels." he hissed "You said she had to save T'Pol's life. Explain."
"Earlier, when you were in launch bay ... T'Pol threatened you with a phase pistol. Can you imagine what it would have happened if Niki hadn't stopped her?"
"I would have convinced her to let me go."
"No. You wouldn't." Daniels said with finality "T'Pol would have stunned you and taken the shuttle. She would have failed the mission, trying to save the scientists's life ... and she would have died a horrible ... horrible death in Klingon's hands."
Archer rubbed his hands across his face: "What if Niki had stopped her and let me go?"
"You would have died as well ... I couldn't let it happen. Both your lives are too important ..."
"... and Niki was the only one here who was sacrificable?" Archer asked bitterly.
"It's cruel ... but true."
T'Pol asked: "Did she know that this was a suicide mission?"
"She knew it was a high-risk mission ..." Daniels paused "but she also knew she had more possibilities to succeed because of her Augment DNA. Still I don't understand how she could lose the fight against that Klingon ..."
"You said you met her 10 years in the past. I can't believe she accepted such a mission even though she didn't know us. I bet you lied to her!" Archer said in anger.
"No, I didn't." Daniels pulled from his pocket a device and put it on the table.
"What's that?" T'Pol asked.
"You may not believe me, Captain." Daniel said "Maybe you'll believe her."
He turned the device on and a holographic image appeared in their view. It was Niki. A younger version of her. Her hair were much longer. Her look was fresh, innocent, and wide-eyed.
They watched her listen to Daniels, telling her the truth about her birth.
"You say she didn't know you, Jonathan. Actually, she did ... I showed her your life ... and T'Pol's, too." he adjusted the device "Do you want to see her reactions?"
Archer nodded.

The hologram changed. Jonathan was flying a model spaceship on the beach with his father.
"This is Jonathan Archer, Niki. He still doesn't know, but he will be the Captain of the first Warp-5 ship, Enterprise."
"Can they see us?" she asked.
"No, we are invisible to them." he reassured her. "You can even touch them, if you want. They won't realize."
She looked at the boy tenderly.
"He's happy. He loves his father."
"Unfortunately this happiness won't last long."
The scene changed and there was Jonathan, at his father's bedside. He was crying.
"We are in 2124. His father is dying ... Clarke's Syndrome. There's no cure."
Niki approached the kid: "This is not fair ..." she said and caressed his head.
"No, it isn't ... but it will push him to do his best to realize his father's dream. And it will motivate him day after day, to get to see his father's engine fly."

The scene changed again.
A child was crying keeping a dead sehlat in her arms. Her mother was staring at her silently. She seemed disappointed.
Niki knelt down near her, tracing one of her pointed ears with a finger.
"A Vulcan ..." she whispered in amazement.
"Her name is T'Pol."
"I thought Vulcans didn't have emotions."
"A common misconception. Vulcans do have emotions. They simply keep them suppressed. They believe that only logic has to guide their actions."
"Will she be ok?" Niki asked, a little worried.
"She'll be fine. At least until she meets humans."

Niki's first reaction to an adult Jonathan was interesting.
He was in Admiral Forrest's office, listening to his orders.
She didn't say a word. She walked around him in a slow circle, her deep blue eyes glaring at him. Then she stopped in front of him, her head tilted slightly as she looked in his eyes. She passed a hand across his face and then gave him a smile. It was an amazing smile.

Archer felt a lump in his throat.
As Niki was watching their lives flow, who they were, what they had done ... she showed respect, admiration, affection for both of them.

At a certain point, watching T'Pol saying to Archer she didn't want to return to Vulcan, she asked: "Daniels ... are they in love?"
"They've become friends. They care for each other, but there's no romantic relationship between them." he paused "I don't know if there's more ... they never expressed it."

She watched T'Pol and Trip draw near. She watched Archer changing, focusing only on his mission, loosing sleep.
"Why?" she asked sadly to Daniels.
"He doesn't want Earth to be destroyed. He feels the weight of his responsibilities. He's afraid to fail."
"Where are his friends? Why do they leave him alone?"
"He pushed them away. He left them alone, too."
She watched him fall asleep on his desk. She bent down, bringing her lips to within inches of his ear.
"I would never leave you alone. Ever." she whispered, placing a gentle kiss on his temple.

Archer wiped a tear away with the back of his hand. Some things now made more sense. More than once, he had the feeling that she could see through his pain. Now he knew why. She had been there all the time.

Archer startled when he saw T'Pol crying in his ready room.

Niki asked: "Why is she crying?"
"She believes she'll never see the Captain again. She thinks he's dead."
"Is it because of the Trellium?"
"The emotion is real. The Trellium only prevents her from suppressing it."
Niki put a hand on T'Pol's shoulder.
"You love him, don't you?" she said, even if she knew T'Pol couldn't hear her.
"Later she will try to get a shuttlepod and save the Captain ..." Daniels explained.
"I can't blame her ..." Niki interrupted him, a tear rolling on her cheek "I would do the same."
"... but the Xindi will attack Enterprise and she won't be able to leave." Daniels finished the phrase.

Archer stared at T'Pol in surprise, but she quickly averted his eyes, unwilling to let him see her emotions.

Azati Prime. "Stop them!" Niki shouted, trembling with tears, looking at Archer being beaten quite severely by the Reptilians.
"I can't." Daniels answered. "We're just observers, now. This hasn't happened in your time, yet."
He saw himself unconscious in the air chamber of the Acquatic vessel. Niki was kneeled beside him.
"God ... what did they do to him ..." she whispered.
"Believe me Niki, he'll be fine."
"How can he stand all this?" she asked.
"He doesn't realize, but ... in a sense, he's just applying Vulcan logic: The needs of the many outweight the needs of the few. Of course, he's doing that in a very human way."

Archer and T'Pol saw her witnessing the course of their entire lives. Then they watched Daniels explain to Niki the nature of her mission.

At first she reacted with anger and hurt: "You want me to become a murderer?"
Daniels gave her several reasons. Slowly, she became calm.
"There's one more thing you need to know before you make your decision." Daniels said to her.
He showed her a man in the brig.
"This is your true father, Niki. Arik Soong."
While Daniels explained what her father had done with the Augments, she stood before Soong in a towering rage.
"You turned me into a sort of monster!" she hissed. "Are you proud of this, daddy?"
"He can't hear you."
"I know ... I was just giving vent to my feelings ..." she muttered.
She watched Archer enter the brig and argue with Soong.
"'Superior ability breeds superior ambition'. One of their creators wrote that. He was murdered by an Augment."
Niki listened to Archer's words in dismay.
"It's that what he thinks about people like me?"
"You have to admit that the facts have proved he was right."
"I will prove him wrong" she said with finality "I accept the mission."

Daniels turned the device off.
"You want to see more?" he asked.
Archer swallowed and said in a hoarse voice: "No, that's enough ..." then he added significantly "You were shrewd enough. You knew she'd never say no to you if you appealed to her this way."
"I didn't force her to do anything!" Daniels said in anger "Tell me, Captain, who would you have preferred to die: T'Pol or Niki?"
"None of them." he said "You know I would have given my life to save both."
"I'm sorry. You must live. You already know why."
Daniels put the device in his pocket: "I have to go, now."
"Daniels ..." T'Pol asked "Why did you choose just Niki for this mission?"
"Because she was unique ..." he gave her half a smile "... just as you are."
He made a gesture of salute, then he disappeared.

Archer looked at T'Pol. He had never seen her so vulnerable.
"You must be upset by what happened." he said.
"I have to admit that Niki's death affects me significantly." she nodded. "She gave her life to save mine. We were friends, but ... I never thought she cared that much about me."
Archer remained silent.
T'Pol continued: "I understand she was a really important part of your life, Jonathan."
He frowned and turned his back: "She had worked her way into my life ... in a sense."
T'Pol put a hand on his arm comfortingly. "Her sacrifice will not be forgotten."
He said hesitatingly: "T'Pol ... I know we have a great deal ... to talk about, but ..."
"You need some time alone. It's understandable." she said softly.
He nodded.
She was going to leave but he stopped her: "Would you please ask the senior staff to meet me here in one hour? I have ... something to say before I report to Admiral Gardner."
"Of course."

o-o-o-o-o-o

Curtains surrounded biobed two.
Niki's body was lying there, covered by a sheet.
The sickbay doors hissed open and Archer walked in.
He stopped in front of the curtain, hesitating.
Phlox looked at him questioningly.
"Leave me alone with her." Archer said huskily, avoiding his eyes.
Phlox nodded and gently patted him on the back.
"As you wish, Captain."
Archer opened the curtain and stepped forward.
He reached to pull back the sheet and looked at her peaceful face.
"Why does it hurt so bad?" he thought.
He closed his eyes and let the memories of her wash over him.
He could still see her in his eyes, flying in the air with her blue ribbon, lost in the music, smiling ...
And then he remembered that night he woke up and she wasn't there.

She was in the garden, looking at the stars.
He had reached her and, for the first time, had expressed affection for her.
"I care for you, Niki."
"Me too."
"Then why don't you marry me?" he had whispered into her ear.
"Jon!" she was really surprised.
He had lifted her into his arms: "You heard me."
Then they had made love all night.
While she was moving on top of him slowly, she had whispered: "She and the stars may possess you when you're out there, Jon ... but on Earth, you are mine. Remember ... on Earth you are mine."

He thought that maybe their child had been conceived that night.
Then he could hear her voice, saying again: "I can't live with T'Pol's shadow between us."

With tears in his eyes, he leaned down to kiss her on the forehead.
"You thought I didn't love you, Niki ... but you were wrong." he whispered. "I'm taking you home."
Then he reached for the sheet and gently covered her head.
Without looking back, he left sickbay.

Listen as the wind blows
From across the great divide
Voices trapped in yearning
Memories trapped in time
The night is my companion
And solitude my guide
My body aches to breathe your breath
You words keep me alive

And I would be the one
To hold you down
Kiss you so hard
I'll take your breath away
And after I'd wipe away the tears
Just close your eyes dear

o-o-o-o-o-o

Later, in the briefing room, Archer explained the latest events. They already knew about Niki's death. They were all sad and shocked, Hoshi couldn't stop crying and Malcolm was keeping an arm around her shoulders to comfort her. T'Pol was holding her mug of camomil tea with trembling hands, hoping the hot beverage could help her to calm down.
"If you all agree, I will make no mention in my report that Niki was an Augment and that she stunned me and T'Pol. I will declare she volunteered for the mission."
They all nodded in agreement.
"Her DNA doesn't matter, Cap'n." Trip said "She's an hero. She deserves to be treated with respect."
"Thanks." he said as he handed Hoshi a PADD. "These are the arrangements for her funeral service. Send them to Starfleet as soon as possible. I want everything to be ready for when we get back to Earth."
Hoshi sniffed and scrolled through it.
"Sir ..." she said, puzzled "there must be a mistake, here ..."
"No mistake, Hoshi." he said gently.
She swallowed: "You really mean ... Nikita ... Archer?" she asked.
Archer took a long breath and confirmed: "Actually, Niki was my wife."
T'Pol's mug slipped out of her hands and broke into jagged pieces across the floor.