Hey guys I think that I have this figured out on my computer on how to get my stories on here. Yeah for me. Take that you dumb old versus. yeah. Umm...I think this story is going to be a one shot but I'm not so sure since I love this story the most. And I hope you enjoy this since I'm not very good with funny stories so this is a first. I really hope you enjoy this! Thanks!
Some of the characters are going to be out of character or ooc and if my spelling is improving, congratulate me.
The day in the life of the Perverted Monk Miroku
Preview: It's Miroku's everyday life. With all his trips and stumbles and uhh...everything else.
Chapter 1: Miroku
"Inuyasha are you alright?" I hear the very familiar voice of Kagome's ask the stubborn hanyou.
Shuffling could be made out for my hears to detect, as Inuyasha then replays. "Yeah it's nothing, it's just a scratch," along with his famous "feh."
A grunt and a yelp of pain later, was followed by a "What did you do that for wrench?"
"I thought you said it was just a scratch?" Although I couldn't see Kagome's face, I could vividly see the smirk on her visage.
Movement vibrated against the wood floors as a growl and mutters came from the half demon. It wasn't long before the hut shook with everyone's laughter.
I myself would have been laughing too, if I had the strength to. You see the poison from Naraku's semoshyo's from the resent battle, really did a number on me. I opened one sly eye to see my target in range. 'Bingo.' I thought as my lips curled into a wicked smile. Closing my eyes once again, I slowly extended my arm to reach the target close by.
"Hey Kagome, does Miroku seem to be awake to you?" Asked a very timid Sango.
"No, he doesn't." Kagome answered.
Sango let out a sigh. "Okay let's go before he gets any Ide...guh." At this moment my hand was firmly grasped onto her behind. Her very soft, curvy, nice behind. But to my disappointment, I was struck by her heavy boomerang she used to exterminate youkai.
"Ow. Sango it was all a misunderstanding..." Now I was up, clutching my head from my new injury I received from my beloved.
"You lying perverted monk!" Sango screamed loudly, as I had to cover my ears from the noise.
She gave me venomous glare before she walked outside Kaede's home. Sighing at my failed mission, I leaned against the wall in a dazed way. "I was for certain I wouldn't have got caught this time." It was then, that I found myself drafting off to sleep while slouched against the wall.
(The Next day)
I awoke the next day a little later than I normally would rise. Yawning, I wiped the sleep from my eyes, as my nostrils were hit by the aroma of breakfast. Standing but to only to wince from the back ache, I cursed at how foolish it was to sleep leaning against the wall. Still, I ignored my pain as I pushed the screen door aside and hollered.
"Hey is there any food left for me?"
Kagome, who observed her friends finishing their breakfast, placed her bowl on the ground and responded. "Umm...there was until Inuyasha ate it not too long ago, on the count of you oversleeping. Gomen…I could always make you something else." She said, as began her search through her bulbous bag.
I sighed. "Just my luck." Funny but now that I think about it…I've been sighing an awful lot since last night.
Unfortunately for me, I didn't get the chance to have the proper nutritious breakfast as everyone else, and had to result to Ramen noodles, causing an argument between the two love birds erupt. Although, I was sadden by my loss of a good breakfast, I did have quite the show displayed for me.
After a few sits and mumbles of irritation, we set out on our journey. During our trek, I pleaded for Sango to forgive me for last night's incident, but she ignored me. Instead of being the gentleman and admitting defeat, I took a different approach, or rather…risky one by having a feel.
Two seconds later, she whipped around, shrieking from my actions and conking me once again with her giant boomerang. Clutching the now lump forming on my skull, I tried to give out an excuse.
"Sango it wasn't my fault, the wind blew my hand..."
"Why you!" Sango interrupted my erroneous speech, as she cracking her knuckles dangerously, to intimidate me. And you know…that worked quite well.
"Heh, Miroku when will you ever learn?" Inuyasha snorted as both Kagome and Shippo nodded their heads in agreement.
Chuckling, I proceeded to successfully achieve my goal when we halted from going any farther to see a mysterious woman wrapped in a cloak, standing in the middle of the road suspiciously holding a fan poised towards us. We were about to question her reason for being alone and in the middle of the road, when what produced from her fan came blades of what I assumed to be of wind, were aimed directly at us.
Everyone scattered to avoid the blades when the woman removed her cloak. Getting a good look, she seemed to be a wind sorceress demon, with her black tied into a bun, ruby colored eyes and a pair of green jangle beaded earrings. From my prospective, I instantly thought how beautiful her appearance was, and how much of a waste it was to be fighting her. "My what a heavenly beauty intend." I muttered under my breath as I was at her side in a instant, cuffing her hands in mine.
"Hello Miss will you mind bearing me a child?" Flashing my best smile I could muster, I didn't expect what she did next.
"W...What?" She took her hands away from mine, clearly digested. "Y...You lecher, I'll Kill You!" She made a motion with her fan, bringing forth the blades that we dodged earlier.
Inuyasha turned my way, angry for my actions. "Miroku, did you have to get us into even more trouble again?"
"Heh, Heh." I chuckled nervously. I didn't know what was more scary, the terrifying woman about to rip my body into shreds, or the dangerous aura I sensed from a certain demon slayer behind me. Either way, I was died no matter what I would do.
"Die pervert!" She yelled, bringing blades my way. I dodged the blades and attacked with my staff, causing no harm to her body what so ever with my staff.
"Stand back Miroku" Inuyasha said, unsheathing his Tetsusaiga, creating the wind scar towards the wind sorceress.
The wind sorceress froze in utter shock at the massive destruction the wind scar held as it came towards her. It at the last instant, she grabbed a feather from her hair which expanded into a giant feather as she escaped from the blast completely.
Before she was out of sight, she called to Inuyasha as she flew away into the clouds.. "I must leave until next time. And if you want to know my name it's Kagura the wind sorceress."
Once Kagura was no longer visible, Inuyasha strode up to me, grabbed my haori, and demanded me to heed his warning. "Miroku next time you better think before acting."
Gulping, I bobbed my head up and down when he released me. Removing the new wrinkles I received, I spotted puffs of gray smoke up head. 'Hmm…a village must be close by. I think I should check it out.' With those as my final thoughts, I wordlessly headed toward the village, knowing that everyone probably would be confused, but allow me to go. Grinning at what awaited me there, I rubbed my hands greedily as I ran the rest of the way.
"Huh I wander where he's going?" Kagome looked at the place where Miroku took off.
"I don't know, but I'll follow him and see what he's up to." Sango said, grabbing her weapon, she to ran in the same direction where Miroku went.
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo(Village)
As I reached my destination, my eyes watered with tears of joy, at sight of the beautiful young ladies in sight. Bowing in thanks to Buddha, I turned my smile into the professional charming smile that took years to achieve, my eyes roamed at the sections of women before me. It was a tough choice to make until they stopped on a girl with brunette hair and hazel eyes. 'Jackpot!'
"Hello Miss would you consider bearing me a child." A slap soon followed as I shouted in pain.
"Damn that hurt" Clutching my head, I spotted another pretty maiden, forgetting completely the pain I felt seconds ago. "Uhh hello Miss..."
Ten slaps and Ten Rejections later!
I felt exhausted from the slaps I've received from the ladies. I sighed. Never before have I've been smacked around by some many women in a single village in my life. Thinking about retiring for the night, I rose from my sitting place.
"I should go back, it's getting late and I don't want to worry Sango." Though when I only take two steps forward, immediately I take five steps back, when I spotted something young, slim, and good looking. A lecherous grin made it's way to my countenance as I contemplated whether I should ignore this voluptuous beauty, but my hormones are stronger than my resistance so my choice was made easily.
'Well maybe I can ask you one more maiden.' I mused however, a different strategy developed into my head when I approached the matter boldly, and physically. Reaching down, I grabbed the girl's round tush.
"Hey what are you doing?" Her voice was cracked and resembled a man's as she whipped her head around and I literally froze in shock.
Chuckling from my mistake I slowly backed away. "O...Oh I'm s...sorry I thought you were a girl."
BAM!
The man walked away with a huff as my body was left mangled on the gravel ground. Lifting my head from the ground with what little strength I had, messaged my head.
"Well I guess I should really be heading back."
A tap on my shoulder caught my attention as I rose from my spot of the ground, however as immediately as I gazed upward, I distinctively wanted to throw up.
There, a head taller than me and with faces that could make even the great Buddha rise from the dead and kill over simultaneously, were hideous girls I've ever laid my eyes on. But what was more revolting was the lead girl with knotted hear in a messy bun, approached me and placed her callused hands into my smooth ones.
"Hey girls look what we have here!" said the girl, rubbing her greasy chin against my robes as more retaliated with horny words that made even "me" flinch in terror.
"Oh he's hot, let's keep him." Another girl with frizzy black curls, barked while pinching my cheeks.
Then the girls agreed with a jubilant shrieks, granting my an open opportunity to escape their beastly figures. Though they figured my intentions and thus chased me in a huge swarm.
"Wait monk!" They shouted. "We heard you say to the some of the girls in the village that you wanted them to bear your child, and we'd be honored to allow you a son." Hollers concurred as I unleashed an ear piercing scream.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
oooooooooooooooooooooooooo (One hour later)
The sun was set in the background of the forest beyond the village as I slumped on the dirt road, exhausted from running from in-heated, horrid women. Feeling completely safe after saving my "man juice" with the many zigzags around the village and dashing through the forest to lose track of them, I thought for sure that I was going to die if they managed to keep up with me. Gazing at the multicolored sky of medium shades of color, I thanked kami that I was alive and breathing.
A minutes passed when I pulled my body from the ground, having the urge to see the demon exterminator, however, my wish came all to suddenly when a "Ehm" was heard from behind me. Turning my head slowly, I cringed when I saw the scowl etched on my beloved Sango's visage.
"Miroku…"
Relieve spread throughout my aching body as I launched myself on her, ignoring the painful beating I would be receiving in the future. Tears slid from my eyes as I whispered in her ear at how thankful I was for seeing her face, oblivious to the tint of red across her cheeks, or the shakes her body were giving off.
"Oh My Lovely Sango How I'm So Glad Your Here!"
"Miroku…" She spoke my name again, but suspiciously too kind for the normally enraged nineteen year old. A bit scared but too curious for my own good, I dared a glance into her brown eyes to only see flames engulfing them. At that point I realized my mistake when I groped her behind. Cursing myself for my old reflexes, I saw her giant weapon gleam from orange hue of sunlight and then darkness.
That was all I remembered until I awakened by the fireplace, where everyone was cuddled up in blankets, nestled in warm arms, or crotched up high in a tree asleep. My eyes scanned the campsite for something to eat when I saw the "miraculously" untouched ramen for me. Reaching for the lukewarm soup in a cup, I grabbed the chopsticks beside it and ate.
As I slurped up the noodle and sipped the chicken flavored water, I tried to recall the outrageous events of today. Blurry imagines of women popped into my hand in one fast motion colliding together giving me a headache from thinking too hard. However, there was one thing I did remember from that day, darkness. Being conked from Inuyasha and Sango must of altered my way of contemplating, so I made a vow to not anger their shot tempered minds if I wanted to hold some valuable information in the future.
A small breeze soon blew across my sleepy companions as I heard someone shiver from the left. Pausing from eating, I noticed Sango quivering from the cold. Eyeing the blanket she was using, I saw that it was quite a thick blanket, however, it didn't help keep her discomfort from the cool winds above. Throwing a few wood into the fire, I placed my empty ramen cup and chopsticks down and crept near the sleeping beauty.
Stopping a few centimeters from her pale face, I was mesmerized from her beauty. Her slight flicker from her eyelashes, the twitch from her eyebrows, and finally resting on the pink lips that looked enticing to my eyes, I couldn't avert my pupils anywhere but on her lips. Bringing my lips close to hers, I gently pecked them before lifting my face from hers.
The shivering ceased and in place of the shakes was a bright smile. A smile made it's way on my face, when I pulled off my haori, draping it over her body. Brushing her bangs from her eyes I sighed, dissatisfied with myself.
"Sango, if only I could express how I feel about you, how much I love you, maybe I could understand your feelings for me in return." Feeling another urge to kiss her and possibly inappropriate emotions rush through me, I had to jerk myself away from her, despite my yearning. Though Kami was with my naughty deeds that night for another gust of wind blew, making her quiver once more.
Groaning for betraying my promise I made at the fire, I pulled my robe aside to squeeze my body through, then tucked it around mine and Sango's body as my arms wrapped around her petite figure. Immediately, I felt the effect of sleep take a hold of me as I looked down at her face one last time before I dozed off dreaming about the girl I loved, Sango, forgetting about the consequences for the next day.
End of chapter one
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I really hope you guys enjoyed this and I'm sorry, I guess it won't be a one shot after all. But still I hope you enjoy this as much as I am.
See you in the next chapter soon called, "Miroku's confession." I think, not sure. Well until next time see yah!
(Author and Jubal)
Jubal looks to the left and then to the right, then jumps out seeing the coast was clear.
He sighed and let out a breath. "Phew at least I finally lost her."
He opened his drink and drank when the author pounced on him.
"I got you Jubee! HEh , Heh , Heh!
He tries to scramble away when author pulls out a mysterious bottle, with some weird liquid in it.
"Now please drink this, and it will make you feel better."
"No way I won't do it, I won't, I wo..." Sees the author crying and his eyes soften, as he slowly mumble's okay before drinking.
The author laughs like a manic as Jubal clings onto her lovingly. "My lovely Darling, Please stay with me forever."
She smiles sweetly and say's, "Of Course Love," as they both share a passionate kiss.
To be continued:
See you guys later!