I blame TV for any and all craziness expressed in this story… I hate TV.
Thanks to all who reviewed!
EponineWeasley: Wow! If I remember correctly, I believe you reviewed this story in pretty much the MOMENT I put it up! Thanks for the review!
Firehotchica: Thanks!
Searching4romeo: I would just like to tell you that I love you. That has got to be the longest most helpful and beautiful review I have ever received! Great that the date turned out good! Sorry it took so long for the next chapter. I guess I just have to hope your cute pink swiveling chair was comfortable!
Angel de la Luna: No need to apoligize! As long as you reviewed eventually! I'm happy my crazy humor amuses you! Huzzah! I invaded your favorites list!
Orliey: Yes, strange, yet amusing! I'm sorry to say that you were wrong about the shudder line, though those two are quite cringe-worthy.
Tidal Waves: Mwa ha ha! I'm a genius, you say? Well, huzzah for that! I didn't realize till late that I included something about marshmallows in THIS chapter, too! What is it with George and marshmallows?
Siora Lee: The rabid squirrels? Send them, please! I enjoy rabid squirrels! Poor dear buddy Alicia…
Siora Lee: You're so important, you get TWO review responses thingies! Yes! Correct! You win! 'Do I turn you on, Trelawney' is the correct answer! I don't enjoy teacher/student relationships (cringe).
Jagged Epiphany: Goodness Gracious! The Jagged Epiphany, whose story I LOVE hads reviwed me! Thank you! You are right about the line. Completely made me creeped out the moment I reread it.
Rin136: Thanks! I'll try to keep it less confusing.
greetings from lala land: Ha! One more innocent taken by intoxication! SUCCESS!
LittleWriterGirl: Yay! Probably the funnest chapter to write was the Shelly one. I'm happy you're enjoying the story so far!
StarXcrossed: I'm glad you liked it!
Quiddie15: Yes, what could be more amusing than an over-confident Lee Jordan? An over-confident Lee Jordan getting hit in the head with a book! Cute name, by the way.
Snape Looks Like a Frog!
The slightly sane one of the group
March 1
Dear Diary,
GARGHAKUJ!
Okay, I'm done sputtering out random letters of the alphabet out now. Why did I even do that? Because Snape's a stupid, crazy pinchbolck! GARGH! He's so horrible, I had to make up a word for how horrible he is! GARGH! If I had the chance, I would wring his neck for every single point he took from Gryffindor! GARGH! I remind myself of a seagull when I say that. Heck yes, I do.
First of all, I know its customary for all Gryffindors to want to throw Snape's greasy head through a quidditch hoop, but believe me when I say that my hatred right now is even worse than usual. Do you know what he did? Do you have any idea what that psycho did to me?
Obviously not, you stupid inanimate diary. Oh, how I wish would respond to me! I was talking to Katie about that during breakfast but she just told me to stop being stupid and eat my muffin.
Whoops, I got off subject. Anyway, Snape had the nerve to give me a detention! I'm supposed to be the well-behaved person of my friends! I have NEVER received a detention in my life. Of course, I've never turned Snape's hair green before. That's usually Fred and George's area of expertise. And now I shall be oddly specific and tell you exactly what happened during that infamous potion class.
There was Angelina, George, and I, sitting in the moldy old potions dungeon, nonchalantly mixing a cauldron of steaming snake flesh or some other disgusting thing.
"Do you know what would be cool?" George says out of the blue.
"A duck!" I shouted.
"A horse!" Angelina contributed.
"A kangaroo!" Angelina and I grinned as George slapped his forehead in annoyance.
"No. I was thinking, it would be cool if I had a frog!" For a second Angelina and I stared at him as if he were kidding. He wasn't. Why did he bother slapping his forehead earlier if his idea was just as unbelievably LAME as ours was?
"George, I fail to see the fun in having a frog," I told him. "I'm pretty sure they just… Hop around." George shook his head at me and then pulled out a quill and a roll of parchment. He hastily sketched a picture of a frog, though it looked more like a marshmallow.
"See!" George exclaimed well motioning towards the picture. "If I had a frog it could hop at people!" He drew a bunch of stars next to the frog.
"That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life," I groaned.
"Wait a second, Alicia…" Angelina began. "I'm starting to see why this is a good idea!" Angelina, with all due respect, is an idiot. Actually, she's not exactly an IDIOT, but she has an unbelievably annoying habit of saying/thinking/doing stupid things.
"NO!" I shout. "There is nothing even remotely exciting in getting a frog!"
"But where would we find a frog? Do you think Roger Davies might have one?" Angelina pondered out loud, ignoring me. Never mind, Angelina really is an idiot.
"We are not getting a frog! It's a stupid idea!"
"I know!" George shouted with excitement. "Snape!"
"Why would Snape give you a frog?" I muttered as the two psychos continued to jabber about frogs.
"You know… Snape looks sort of like a frog!" Angelina exclaimed while bouncing up and down with excitement. I scrunched up my eyes at the potions teacher who was grading papers. He did sort of look like a frog…
George got a look of ecstasy on his face. He stared with wide eyes at me and Angelina for a moment before exclaiming, "Let's turn Snape's hair green!"
I groaned as Angelina and George thought up one of their insane schemes. I couldn't help but cringe as they threw an odd assortment of ingredients into their cauldron. I wasn't really surprised that they knew what they were doing.
"Alicia, when you go past Snape, you need to spill this on him," George handed me a flask. I rose an eyebrow and threw it back at him.
"Uh, no." This was their crazy scheme, not mine!
George grinned a bit and poked me in the arm. "You're not scared, are you?"
"Of course not!" I thundered.
"Then do it." He grinned wider.
"Who, me?"
"Yes, you."
"Couldn't be!"
"Then who!" Angelina interrupted. "Sorry, I felt left out."
"You know what?" I looked at them. "I'll do it. But not for free."
"Uh… Chocolate?" George suggested. I contemplated a moment before nodding. Chocolate would be fine.
I took a deep breath and walked up to where Snape was collecting samples of our potion. I watched with horror as my classmates handed in potions that were all a putrid green color. Ours was vivid pink.
"Ms. Spinnet, your flask, please," the potions teacher stated icily. I stared at him hopelessly. How could I go through with this?
"Ms. Spinnet!" He thundered when I wouldn't hand it over. "Your potion! Now!" My eyes grew wide as I tore off the top of the flask and threw the contents at the appalled teacher. His hair turned a deep green. Now he really DID look like a frog.
And so here I am, diary. Sitting in detention, doing nothing with Angelina and George.
"Hey, dear buddy Alicia!" George whispered. I groaned. He'd been calling me that ever since divination class! "We'll go out to Honeydukes next Hogsmeade visit so you can get your chocolate."
Wait a second! Like a date? When did I agree to that?
Chapter 5: Katie Bell