Running Blind
Just A Starving Writer

Disclaimer: nope, not mine.

Part 5: December, January

December

"Kagome-sama?"

The voice startled her from her dreamy reverie. Looking across the fire, she met the eyes of the monk.

"Might I have a word with you?" he asked quietly.

Smiling her agreement, she made sure there were enough blankets on the sleeping children before following him outside the reach of the fire.

"Miroku?"

"You need to tell them, Kagome," he stated plainly, dropping the honorific to further his point. "Inuyasha will be mad, but he will only grow angrier if you continue to keep this secret."

She slowly nodded as she noticed other figures joining them. Before long she had three sets of eyes trained on her, demanding explanation. With a sigh of resignation, she began.

"It was an accident at first. Sometimes I would just run into him."

Even in the dark, she could see the hanyou's eyebrow twitch.

"I didn't say anything because it didn't seem important." She ignored the huff of indignation. "Because, well, nothing happened. Before long, I guess you could say we grew accustomed to it and sometimes would even share a few words."

"Like what? 'Die'?" the hanyou commented.

"I owe him me life, Inuyasha. When he dropped me from the sky and you caught me? That was because I ran off a cliff. When you found me crying in the woods with a dead youkai? He killed it. Even that time I fainted from fever…it was him who left the herbs. I wasn't going to spoil that with your petty sibling rivalry. I owed him my thanks and I gave it through silence."

Her statement had everyone shocked, as she could plainly see. Apparently even the monk hadn't guessed as much. Unfortunately, they recovered all too soon.

"And now?" the slayer questioned.

"I see him when I run every night. He tells me when its time to go back." If she neglected to speak of their odd conversations or odder games, it was only out of fear and gratitude. There was simply no need for them to know.

"Is that all?"

Kagome had never thought of herself as a terribly defensive person, but that question caused her to single out the asker with a hardened spark in her eyes.

"Yes, Miroku. That is all," she answered blankly.

She couldn't tell them about her growing affection for the lord. They wouldn't approve. Not that she approved either, but there wasn't much she could do about it. There really wasn't a way to make herself stop caring for him so there was no use even bringing it up.

The monk seemed to evaluate the resolution in her eyes before nodding and beginning the short trek back to the campsite. The slayer soon followed. In short order, she was left with only the hanyou for company.

She was surprised really. For now, he had neglected his traditional post as obnoxious friend and instead had a thoughtful look on his face.

"Kagome," he began softly. She avoided his eyes with something resembling shame.

"It's dangerous. What you are doing is dangerous," he continued. She was confused and her upraised head must have said as much.

"Promise me something, Kagome," he stated as he put a friendly hand on her shoulder. "Promise me you'll be careful. And promise me that next time we come across Myoga, you tell him what's going on. Promise me."

She nodded before stumbling out the words. Now she was beyond confused. Vaguely she wondered if there would ever be a time she would know what was going on.

Without another word, they walked back to the camp.

January

She had been unable to celebrate the New Year with her family because of the responsibility she had been given for the ward. Of course, the girl was trying to make up for it. Rin was more of a helper than anything, and it required very little effort to watch her. Still, Kagome missed her family. Sending Inuyasha through the well with a note on her situation soothed her nerves slightly but not entirely.

To add to her discomfort, it had been two weeks without a run. Previously, she had thought the problems some people had with breaking serious addictions trivial but now she knew better. If quitting smoking was even half as bad as this, she would forever sympathize.

Once again, the child seemed to sense her growing restlessness. Whenever Kagome was about ready to drop everything, including the grand honor she had been given, Rin took off with a smile, running ahead on the trail, always still on the trail, and provided her a partial outlet.

Chasing the girl released some of her anxiety as did listening to the child's stories regarding her experiences with her unlikely protectors. Everyone loved her descriptions of the retainer's torture at the girl's skilled hands. The only thing the ward seemed lax to speak of was the circumstances regarding her addition to the taiyoukai's group. However, they recognized her discomfort and allowed her the reprieve.

Over the days, the child gradually became more familiar with the others of the group. While she was still wary of the hanyou, she was more open to the slayer and monk and chatted continually with the fox. It warmed Kagome's heart.

Still, despite Rin's attempts to relieve some of the strain and despite the other's advice and warnings, she longed to run again. Each night, after the children had drifted asleep, she contemplated leaving them, just for a short while, just for a short run. However, she knew it was folly. If the taiyoukai came to know she had 'abandoned' his ward, for even a few minutes, she would lose what respect he had given her, which was considerable for him.

And that was it, she figured on one particularly cold night. She forewent running because she was afraid he wouldn't be there…and because if he was there, he would know she had left the child and then he would never be there again.

That thought hurt more than she was willing to admit. Once, waking up to the sounds of her own sobs, she was met by the eyes of a concerned girl.

"Don't worry, Kagome-sama," she had whispered while wiping the tears from her cheeks with her tiny hand. "He'll return for us. Rin knows it. He always comes back."

And Kagome trusted her. The child rarely fell into the third person form of speech and when she did, it seemed it was to make a point. And Kagome believed her on this. He would come back.

But what would happen then?

The day was better, she thought. The wind wasn't as biting, the chill wasn't as seeping, and the exposed sun sought to warm their bodies even as they trudged along the long road. However, the air was tense. With every breath, she knew something important was going to happen.

With a start, she felt the tingling that signified the first jewel shards they had come across since taking custody of the ward. As she tensed in expectation of a battle, she felt yet another sensation strike along her spine. Feeling the insistent tug of the girl by her side, she looked down to discover the child smiling with a knowing glint. So she felt it too? Then it was verified: he had returned. But first, something needed to be done about the shards.

"Inuyasha…" she began before being cut off.

"That bastard," he growled. She sighed. He must have discovered his brother's presence as well.

"Shards, Inuyasha…" she began again.

"I know," he hissed, interrupting her again. Her lack of understanding lasted for all of two minutes until the hanyou sidestepped to avoid being hit by a cyclone that had seemingly appeared out of nowhere.

"Kagome! I thought I'd pay my woman a visit."

She sighed with disappointment. The last thing she currently needed was a love-sick wolf.

"Hello, Kouga," she started politely before he grabbed her hands.

Hearing a sharp intake of breath, she turned her head to catch a glimpse of Rin seeking refuge against her back. Her tiny fingers were already entwined within the folds of her long skirt, pulling the cloth taut over her legs. The child was obviously terribly frightened. Sending a look she hoped conveyed a plea for assistance to her friends, she tried to remove her hands from the wolf's.

"There's no need to feel shy, Kagome," he stated even as he gripped her tighter. "After all, you are my woman."

Now she really needed to get away from him. While in the past this was merely irritating, now it felt much worse. The tension that had already been present in the air was building, threatening to suffocate her as Rin's grip on her skirt tightened further.

Taking a slightly panicked look around, she saw that the hanyou, who was previously merely annoyed, was now downright apprehensive. As well, his eyes were not on the wolf, but some distant point in the woods. When he took a startled glance back over at her, their eyes met in understanding. She nodded with dawning comprehension.

"Kouga, ya stupid wolf, let go of Kagome!" he snarled and the ploy worked. The demon released her, turning to face his opponent. While he was occupied, Kagome wasted no time. Lifting the terrified child into her arms, she quietly backed away from the scene. Once she reached the woods, she ran.

Though the weight of the girl clinging to her slowed her progress somewhat, she still felt the incredible freedom she had so yearned while she was not allowed this simple joy. She could only hope her friends delayed the wolf long enough for her to escape. While she felt the slightest bit guilty, she figured it was about time the wolf got a clue.

She was torn rather brutally from her thoughts when a strong, warm arm lifted both her and the girl. Surprise made her close her eyes and upon re-opening, she discovered they were heaven bound and going higher and farther with each passing second. Up in the atmosphere the air was much cooler and she did her best to huddle closer to her savior despite the awkward position and burden. The warmth he radiated was most welcome and comforting. Still, when he finally approached the ground and landed, she was grateful.

"Sesshoumaru-sama!" the child cried with happiness as Kagome put her down. The ward approached her protector with a lightness that hadn't quite been present during their time apart. After bowing her appreciation that he had indeed returned for her, the girl skipped into the distance where the miko could just make out the waiting forms of the dragon and retainer.

"Thank you, Sesshoumaru-sama," the miko finally said with a respectful bow, unable to wipe the giddy smile from her face. Without a word, the blank taiyoukai grabbed her arm and pulled her away from his entourage. Though she was confused, she didn't say a word of protest.

"Why was Rin afraid of Kouga?" she asked instead as he led her into the woods.

"Wolves killed her," he responded coolly. She was surprised, more because she wasn't expecting an answer than the actual reply.

"Oh," she whispered and remained silent.

When he finally stopped, in a rather empty portion of the forest, she was confused yet again because she had never witnessed him in such a mood before. It seemed he was straining just beneath the surface with something great, but it was not the easily recognizable anger or annoyance he was prone to show. Whatever this new emotion was, it was strong, it was powerful…and she had no clue what it was.

The warm hand on her arm tightened as he pulled her closer and she wanted nothing more than to bask in the heat he provided at that moment. However, it seemed he had quite a different idea.

"Run."

With a push forward, he released her. Confusion held her still for a few seconds before she realized the earnestness in that order. She did not feel compelled to disobey and so, with a slight skip, took off through the trees.

He was following her. If she didn't know any better, she would assume he was chasing her out of fun. It surely must have appeared that way as she was still smiling joyously, occasionally laughing, as she continued to change direction in avoidance. It must look like one big game, she thought idly even as she swerved yet again.

However, it was over all too soon. A warm hand contacted with her shoulder and she was flung against a tree, none too gently, the breath rushing out of her as she struggled to understand what was going on. The taiyoukai approached her slowly, intently, his careful blankness falling into tatters even as some new indefinable something took over. She doubted if it was right to call it an emotion for it was just too powerful.

Despite her inability to catch her breath, she was not fond of being pinned to a tree, something that was looking more likely by the second with each step he approached. And so, with a breathlessly exuberant smile, she slipped around the tree and took off again, running as fast as her burning lungs would allow. Once again she was pushed off course and the game continued as such: run, push, tree, smile, run…

She was growing tired though. Two weeks was long enough to be considered out of practice and, as well, her ruthless encounters with the trees were doing nothing for her lung capacity. Still, she continued if only because she felt the burning need to do so. Somewhere in the cold air was a stream of electricity giving her the energy each time to continue the hunt, continue the game, no matter the consequences.

He was coming up on her side once more and she prepared herself for a push. However, the hand that connected with her arm pulled instead and she barely avoiding colliding with his armor as she came into contact with his warmth. Stunned was not the word she would have used but there was little time for thought when suddenly his lips were on hers.

A weaker woman may have fainted or perhaps grown weak in the knees, relying on her partner for support. For Kagome, neither of these was an option. He was the essence of Life itself, pure and raw, and she wanted more. The heat he exuded was a new substance she could not live without, a replacement for air. As long as he resumed what he was doing, she would never breathe again.

She didn't even know his hand had moved or that her feet had left the ground until, as she tried to pull away enough to get a better angle that did not involve being impaled by the spikes of his armor, his arm around her waist tightened to prevent her release. Dimly, in the back of her mind somewhere, she knew there would be bruises tomorrow, from his armor, his hand, his lips, but she didn't care. It was only proof of life.

Without warning she was flying, away from the blessed heat, away from him, and when she hit the cold ground, she was ready to weep for her loss. However, something in the way he was watching her made her immediately change from sorrow to excitement. Quickly regaining her feet, she took off again, running as fast as her burning lungs would allow her, the chill of the air all the more noticeable after the immense heat of the taiyoukai. She could feel his approach and, shutting her eyes to free her other senses, forced herself to go faster.

Sudden heat caused her to gasp, and, as his lips claimed hers again, she realized with idle thankfulness his armor was gone. Without thought, she clung to him, using the hand around her for leverage, jumping to wrap her legs around his waist. The skirt she had formerly thought pleasantly loose was now too cumbersome to allow the movement and it quickly gathered at her posterior. Still, it mattered little that her legs were exposed to the cold air; proximity to his warmth was all she could think of.

Vaguely she could hear her name being called but only truly recognized this when her beautiful companion pulled away, leaving her breathless and cold. She wanted to whimper but, without his life giving kiss, simply did not have the energy. She became limp when he swiftly lowered her back to the ground. With one last flash of heat upon her lips, he was gone.

She sighed. It was so strange. So strange that the world felt simultaneously dead and alive with his absence. Or perhaps it was dead without him but all the more beautiful simply because he had chosen to grace it with his presence? She weakly shook her head. It didn't matter. It was beautiful nonetheless.

"Kagome?"

Slowly her eyes refocused enough to recognize the being in front of her. The hanyou looked worn and worried.

"Yes, Inuyasha?" she whispered dreamily even as she wrapped her arms around her body, trying to retain any of the warmth he'd left behind.

"What's wrong with you? I've been yellin at you for 10 minutes."

Had it really been so long? Had he really been gone for so long? She shook her head again. It didn't matter. As long as she was still alive, as long as he was still alive, it didn't matter.

"I'm fine, Inuyasha."

"Fine? Are you stupid? You call that fine?"

He was poking the side of her face, and she dimly felt a prick of pain. Maybe when she hit a tree? She couldn't say and she didn't feel like theorizing. It didn't matter.

"I'm fine," she whispered again as she resolutely stood up.

"What the hell happened to you anyways? Not like you had to deal with that stinkin wolf…"

"Thank you, Inuyasha," she interrupted. Without another word, she took a deep breath, gazed once more at her surroundings, and proceeded to walk away. With each step she took, she felt elation rise until it bubbled into her throat where it erupted from her mouth as a thick and heavy laughter. As she varied between girlish giggles and full out chuckles, all the weariness from her activities slipped away.

The hanyou was speaking to her, or yelling perhaps, but she paid it no mind. She was in too good a mood to let him or anything spoil it. Naraku himself could show his head and she would smile with glee. She was alive, in this moment, in this life, and there was nothing better.

When the hanyou touched her shoulder, most likely in an attempt to bring her to her senses (how silly of him…she had never been more aware in her life), all the energy that had resurfaced sparked and she ran. She ran despite her protesting muscles, ran despite the rapidly forming bruises, ran despite the cool air biting into her skin and lungs. Closing her eyes, she ran with all she had left, with abandon and complete freedom.

When she thought of the event later, she could never remember how she stopped, how that run ended. She only remembered Inuyasha looking down on her as she felt overwhelmingly happy and exhausted.

"What the HELL is wrong with you?!" he had yelled.

"I'm alive," she had breathed. After that, all she remembered was his confusion. She pitied him, really. She knew exactly how he felt. Such a shame though that he didn't understand the truth. Comprehension meant absolutely nothing in the end. She would give up understanding in a heartbeat, live in perpetual confusion, if it meant she still lived.