Disclaimer: We do not own Teen Titans.

((A/N: I wrote this with one of my friends at like, three in the morning. It is only intended to be stupid. Do not take offense at anything listed here, and I am also aware that Slade was not married to Mother Mae Eye. Enjoy!))

A short, portly woman in an apron (more commonly known as Mother Mae Eye) shyly approached a tall, dark masked figure (more commonly known as Slade.)

"Hello deary! Have this pink knitted sweater."

Slade sighed melodramatically. "Why'd I marry you again?"

"You were drunk." Mae seemed perfectly okay with this idea.

"Oh. Right." 'Stupid Vodka.'

"And don't forget dear, you have to pick up Joe, Meg, Sam, Bob, Bryn, Deanna, Solana, Grant, Rose, Anna, Alanna, Will, Zach, Lauren, and Alex from school, and then take Alexa, Kyria, Emily, Sara, Jeff, David, Kyle, Nick, Kevin, Ally, Ellie, Diana, Schmegalknorf, Ploop, Lilly, James, Erin, Aaron, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Severous, Albus, Menervia, Draco, Remius, Clara, and Amy to ballet."

'Stupid Vodka.' "Fine, I'll go."

He was half way out the door when she shouted, "Oh, and Tom, Giulia, Christene, Vicky, Courtney, Dean, Ginney, Bill, Artimas, Holly, Root, Butler, Violet, Klaus, Sunny, Olaf, Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter, Egdar, Allen, Poe, Jay, Kay, Rowling, Eion, Colfer, Lemony, Snicket, Frodo, Pippin, Gandalf, Smeagel, Kretcher, Dobby, and Henry need to go to the library."

'Stupid Vodka." "Okay."

"Oh, and dear."

"WHAT!"

"Carl has to go the dentist."

'Stupid Vodka.'

He moved all of his children to their assorted destinations and then collapsed into his bed and closed his eyes. Mae walked up to him suggestively and sat down next to him.

"Honey… I have the perfect names."

Slade's eye snapped open. "For WHAT?"

"Our next litter of children!"

"WHAT!"

"Oh, didn't I tell you? I'm six months pregnant with octuplets."

"How many is that again?"

"Eight."

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" 'Stupid Vodka.'

"Well, I'll call them Math, History, Science, English, Literature, Home EC, Gym, and Art."

'Stupid Vodka.'

"Don't you have to get to your 12th job dear? You'll be late."

"Right." He began to leave.

"Oh, and don't forget-"

"NO I'M NOT DRIVING THE STUPID AFTEREFFECTS OF VODKA ANYWHERE!"

"-your lunch."

"Oh. Right." 'Stupid Vodka.'

Slade drove to his 12th job, swerving to hit Cyborg who was walking by. He sat behind his desk and cringed at a squeaky voice. "Where'v ya been barf brain? You're late!"

"Sorry Mr. Gizmo sir, it won't happen again." Slade said reluctantly.

"You're right it won't glue face, 'cause you're fired!"

"What? Why!"

"Because, snot scrubber, you're always drunk. Be outta here by 3:00."

"… yes sir." He just stared at his lamp. 'Stupid lamp.' he looked at his plant. 'Stupid plant.' He stared forward. 'Stupid Vodka.'

He packed up his stupid lamp, his stupid plant, and his stupid stash of Vodka hidden in his desk drawer and drove home.

He sat on a chair being mobbed by all 80 of his children.

One of his children sat on his head. He looked up.

"I've never seen you before. Where'd you come from?"

"Dad. It's me. Carl. As for where I come from, Mom says I'm not allowed to tell you."

"… and why is that?"

"Well, she says you wouldn't be happy if you found out that Speedy… never mind."

Slade though, suppressing innumerable amounts of rage, 'Stupid Vodka.'

Then, he rolled his eye. "Wait a minute. What do I care?"

Slade scanned the crowd of children. "Hey. You. With the red hair. Com'mere."

"Yes Daddy?"

"What's your name again?"

"It's Anna Daddy."

"Get me some Vodka."

"Okay Daddy."

Slade sat, chugging his Vodka. 'Stupid kids. Stupid wife. Stupid Titans. Stupid Gizmo. Stupid life.'

He eyed the glass of clear liquid in his hand. Taking one final chug, he collapsed to the ground and managed to mutter. "Stupid Vodka."

Stupid End.