Chapter Ten: Intentions

Alex

By the time our two months are almost over, I can't imagine being here without you. We've settled into this insanely beautiful routine, and I can't help feeling at ease in every aspect of my life with you around. Work is still a struggle, and I'm still being frequently stonewalled by my SVU squad, although they've gotten a little less hostile after you "talked" to the lead detective about a certain derogatory comment he made while we watched another detective interrogate a suspect. I wish I'd seen the look on his face when you stormed into their bullpen. He certainly looked... intimidated in my presence afterwards.

I've stopped thinking about you going back to New York; I don't want to think about how empty this place is going to be without you. Your things in my closet, your body in my bed, your cooking in my kitchen. Knowing you're here when I get home from work makes even the worst day more bearable, and it's going to be hard to let you go. I've almost forgotten that we've tried this before without success, and even though I still have to puzzle out how you feel sometimes, I've just about lost the memory of your former reticence. You talk often about your childhood now, telling me stories about the way you grew up, about what it was like to live with your mother. I'm amazed at some of the things you've heard and experienced in that house, and there have been a few nights in this time when I've held you close as you cried out the pain of those memories.

Even with all of the improvements, all of your revelations, I can't shake the feeling that there's something you're not telling me. Every so often we'll have these nearly perfect moments, times when our stillness together is like a picture, these perfect snapshot moments that I never thought existed outside the movies. We've used the fireplace often, as the winter settles into Oregon... and it's become a nightly ritual to clean up after dinner, then change and meet in front of the fireplace, cuddled into each others arms, watching the fire and talking.

And now here we are, the week before you leave and I feel like you're a part of me again. As thanks for jumping in during their time of need, the DA's office has given me an extra day off before and after Thanksgiving, and I can't wait to celebrate together. The last time we were in the same place for thanksgiving, I was forced to endure one of mother's fundraising dinners, and you had to work. Turkey sandwiches and a fight at midnight weren't exactly my idea of a celebration, but this year we're going to fix all that.

Olivia

I love thanksgiving. The last time I actually had anyone to cook for I was still in high school, cooking for mom and myself. Not that it did any good since she passed out in a stupor before the turkey was even done cooking. During our last year together, I'd wanted to do something just the two of us, but work and one of your mothers charity balls got between us during the day, and at night our own pent up anger and discontent kept us from really celebrating.

You've got extra time off from work now though, and I've been shopping for a week, stocking up on extra spices, and some newer cookware, wanting this holiday to be perfect. The bird is small, but the potatoes, gravy, and stuffing are all going to be made from scratch, and I can't wait to see you try your hand at baking a pie. Hopefully you'll be better at that than you were at Teriyaki.

You're still at work tonight, finishing up some files so that you can relax over your gracious five-day holiday from work. I've been cooking all day, testing out stuffing recipes, wanting to find the perfect mix of cornbread and Yankee stuffing. I turn down the oven as my cell phone rings in the other room, and I'm breathless as I reach it one ring before voice-mail.

"Benson, chef of the century"

"Hey Liv! Happy Thanksgiving."

"Stabler! You sound happy, got the kids for the holiday?"

"Yup, Kathy and I are starting come to some sort of mutually satisfying custody agreement."

"That's great El! But I'm pretty sure that's not why you've called."

"Nope, I actually have some news for you."

"Really?"

"Casey's leaving."

I shake my head, sure I've heard you wrong.

"Say that again?"

"Casey's leaving. Serena finally found a job in D.C. and Novak's decided to go with her."

"No way." I can't believe this gift. "No way. Elliot please tell me this isn't a joke. Because if it is I'm going to fly back to New York tonight and strangle you."

"Not a joke. She put in her official notice and after the New Year... she's joining Serena in D.C."

"Elliot, I am so happy right now I could KISS you."

"I really don't think I'm your type... and wouldn't your girlfriend object to that?"

"Don't know, you can ask her later! I'll call you when I get back all right? Tell the kids I said hi, and I'll see you in a week!"

"Later Liv."

I hang up the phone and can't resist doing a little jig around the bedroom. In all honesty I will miss Casey a little bit, but I have calls to make before I can feel bad about it. Branch is first on my list, then Liz... and then one I'm actually dreading a little-- your mom.

Alex

By nine o'clock I'm exhausted, but all of my files are done. Willams stopped by at about seven to tell me they're starting to narrow down the search for a permanent ADA, and that it would probably be good timing for me to start looking for something permanent myself again. I'm a little nervous about running into the same walls I hit before, but I'm glad to see this job coming to an end. I'm tired of fighting idiot detectives and a positively primitive captain. I make a note to call Branch tomorrow to refresh my contact list, and cross my fingers that something's come up since the last time I sent out my résumés.

I drop some files at Williams' office and leave a quick thank you note under his door. I walk to the car and close the door behind me, leaning back in the seat for a minute before I venture back to the house. I want to savor this moment, that end of the day feeling coupled with the knowledge that you're at home waiting for me. I only have a week left to enjoy this time, and I want to soak in every second. I turn on the car and head for home, wondering what you'll be wearing for me tonight.

Olivia

I was planning an apron surprise again tonight, but I've decided I'd rather have all these phone calls out of the way. I realize how late it is in New York, so I leave messages for Liz and Arthur, making sure they know you'll want to put in a résumé for the ADA position. I don't need to ask you first, I know what you'll say. Your mom I call at home.

She answers on the first ring, just like you always do, and I can feel my stomach in my throat.

"Mrs. Cabot, it's Detective Benson."

Silence.

"I'm sure you remember me, I'm Olivia, Alex's ... um... girlfriend."

"Yes of course." Her tone is clipped, short. I can tell I'm the last person she wants to talk to.

"Mrs. Cabot, I wanted to talk to you about Alex."

"Detective, I want you to give me a very good reason why I shouldn't hang up on you."

"Because you have to know how much I love your daughter to put myself through the torture of speaking with you." I shake my head, I don't know why I'm surprised at how quickly she irritates me.

Sighing, I try again. "Mrs. Cabot, I know that you don't approve of my relationship with your daughter. I get that. Really, I do. And I can understand how someone of your... social ilk could disapprove of our feelings for each other. But surely you can't deny that your daughter and I love each other very much, in spite of your objections."

"What is your point Miss Benson?"

It's all I can do not to growl in frustration.

"My point is that I wanted you to know my intentions."

"Intentions? And what intentions are those? I think I've seen enough of your particular intentions towards my daughter thank you very much."

Well, I knew it wasn't going to be easy, and I give up trying to stall,

"Mrs. Cabot, before I go back to New York, I'm going to ask your daughter to marry me."