Asphyxiating Elgar--thanks for your insightful review! No problem about the review. I always try to return the favor because I know how much reviews mean to me. They really increase motivation!crazy4dogboi--did I mention how much I love your handle? I love it for two reasons. The first being that I too have a love of dog boys and second being that I had a friend once who we all called "boi" - not boy...just cuz.
WindoX--I'm glad I surprised you! Compared to my other fics this one is very straightforward. If you like Inuyasha,twists, and turns you'd like my Sesshoamru & Comrades stories-they're full ofsurprises.
Reality--Maybe. maybe not. Read and find out!
Now, on to the story... SPOILER--about last couple of episodes.
Fuu and the others realized it was taking Jin quite some time to prepare the tea. Fuu went to go check on him. Mugen said "Oh, c'mon. You're always sayin' he's the smart one why don't you just wait, I'm sure he can figure it out." Fuu already walked to the kitchen leaving Shiroko and Mugen alone in the room.
Shiroko felt bad that Mugen had slid off the roof, but did not feel an apology would be wise. He looked at her. Then she found he wasstaring at her. She did not look back, but only at the small lacquer table in between them. Surprisingly Mugen spoke first. "Hey, Piggy." Shiroko looked up with a disdainful look in her eye. Mugen continued obviously begrudgedthat he felt obliged to do so "Sorry 'bout the roof. You look…nice."
Even though Shiroko felt Fuu probably had something to do with the apology she smiled. "No, Mugen, I apologize for over reacting. I was relieved that you were unhurt. That was the only reason I yelled at you afterwards."
"It's nothing when you got cat like reflexes like mine" he said as he stretched out his gangly limbs.
Shiroko rolled her eyes and said "I wonder what those two are up to. It shouldn't take this long to make tea."
"Mm" said Mugen. He stood up and walked towards the door.
"Where are you going?" asked Shiroko.
"To the kitchen. I'm freakin' starving" said Mugen as he rubbed his stomach under his shirt. Shiroko quickly followed, not wanting to be left alone.
Mugen pushed aside the curtain first and halted. Shiroko peeked around his arm to see Jin letting Fuu go as if they had been embracing. He was holding a crinkled piece of paper.
Though Mugen and Fuu were not married their relationship was a close and intimate one. To see Fuu in another man's arms was not only irritating, but insulting to Mugen. Instead of drawing his sword he only eyed the two of them up and down then briskly walked out the door grabbing his metal clad geta on the way. Fuu rushed after him "MUGEN! MUGEN WAIT!"
He turned to face her and an ugly argument ensued. Shiroko peered form the doorway and said to Jin "Good thing you don't have neighbors, you would be terribly embarrassed." Shiroko thought it was funny but realized he wasn't laughing. It didn't surprise her that he wasn't laughing, but his lack of a response caused her to look back at him anyway.
She took a double take. Her smile fell as she looked at Jin leaning on the wall staring into no where. There was no feeling she could read off him nor lines in his face to imply anything. He was blank. "Jin?" Shiroko approached him and he was snapped back to the present and stood straight. "Are you feeling okay?" He looked at her, the same way he always did: with reluctant amity. "What's that?"
Jin handed her the letter. As she read the short goodbye from Shino Fuu and Mugen screamed at each other outside. Jin watched their interaction while Shiroko's face fell with sadness. "Oh, Jin…" 'What do I say?' "I'm…I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize. I knew this would happen eventually" he said still watching Mugen and Fuu scream and gesticulate at each other. "It is no one's fault."
Fuu screamed at Mugen, loud enough for Europe to hear, why they were hugging and that Shino had left. Mugen came back with an epithet implying that it was perfect timing for Fuu to take Shino's place. Fuu told him he was being the same stupid, insensitive jerk he always is and eventually and begrudgingly Mugen said he wasn't too stupid to understand that Fuu wasn't trying to jump Jin's bones. Their reconciliation begun there.
Shiroko did not quite understand what happened, or why Shino left, and she was dying to ask Jin about what the note meant. She remembered he mentioned Shino spoke of things she shouldn't, but never really clarified what that meant. 'Was I totally off assuming it was political? Maybe it was about his past? You can never tell with this guy.'
Mugen and Fuu finished their tiff with loud "FINE!"s and walked back to the house.
Fuu and Shiroko took to the kitchen and began to make a stew for dinner. They needed a few more radishes for the stew and Jin went out back to pull a few from the ground. Mugen lounged in the other room on the tatami mats and let his gaze fall out the window. He felt the sun on his face and a strange twinge in his gut. 'No, that ain't hunger.'
Jin walked past and neither said a word to each other nor did they look at each other. Jin was in no mood to fight and Mugen didn't know how else to interact with him.
As Jin dug his slender fingers into the earth and wrestled a radish out of it's hiding spot Mugen's shadow appeared on the ground. Jin did not stop trying to find vegetables in the garden.
"What? Your wife left and now you can't fight? That's pretty lame."
Jin muttered to himself "Where are the damn potato's?" He was ignoring Mugen and wanted him to know he was doing it.
"C'mon! Aren't you angry?" Mugen shouted.
Jin again muttered to himself "I never understood the order in which she planted these things. Carrots here, potato's there, more carrots here…what was she thinking?"
"ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?" shouted Mugen.
Jin just continued to tend the vegetable garden ignoring Mugen as he dusted off the dirt of what meager produce he could find. Then Mugen drew his sword. Jin just stood and walked back into the house.
A few hours later Shiroko and Fuu served the stew they prepared to Mugen and Jin. Shiroko ladled out a serving for each. Before Shiroko seated herself Mugen was asking for seconds. Jin was merely pushing the vegetables around in his bowl. He caught Shiroko watching him and forced a few pieces into his mouth. He never ate a lot, but he was taking in only a meager amounts of food that evening.
Fuu was going to inquire, but she thought it better not to say anything lest another shouting match between her and Mugen broke out. Shiroko didn't want to pry into Jin's private feelings. She also knew he was unlikely to tell her anything. Fuu and Shiroko decided to eat slower. This way Jin would be forced to eat more. He pushed down a few more vegetables and drank the broth.
Mugen cleaned out the pot and took what remained in Jin's bowl. The ronin sneered slightly at Mugen's unending appetite. Jin then rose and said "You are all welcome to stay here for as long as you like before you return to your travels. Jin then explained where the extra futons were and where he would be if they required anything further. "Good night. I am going to retire for the evening."
Jin walked into his bedroom and sat on the floor.He tried to begin to get ready for bed, but could not find the motivation to do as much as undress himself. He pulled the top part of his kimono off, but did not undo his hakama. 'I will not rest this evening. I have too many things on my mind.' He turned his gaze on his swords. They were re-forged after his incident with Mugen in Nagasaki. They sat in a stand Shino found for him.
'Shino…' he closed his eyes and saw her face. He could almost feel her touch. He opened his eyes and thought about how he would most likely never see her again. 'They will undoubtedly ask me to go with them.'
He heard Shiroko call to him from beyond his door and said she may enter. Her hair was down, but pulled back and she wore a white sleeping kimono. She wordlessly entered and prepared his bed for him. She did not look at him and did not talk to him, but did what she could to comfort him by helping him with the simple tasks he did not have the drive to complete.
She pulled out a sleeping kimono from the cabinet and placed the folded article next to him. He looked at it out of the corner of his eye and went back to staring at his swords. Shiroko said "I am sorry your wife is gone, Jin. I know there are things around the house here that you may need a woman to teach you. If there is anything else that you need please let me know." She bowed.
He nodded and she went to leave the room. When she got to the screen the sound of his voice stopped her. "She was not my wife" he said. "We never went through with the ceremony. It was never made official."
Shiroko was unsure in how to proceed. She didn't understand why he was telling her this. 'Maybe he just wants to see my reaction? I don't know.' All that came out of her mouth was "Hm." 'There! HA! How does it feel Jin to get a monosyllabic response!'
After she finished giggling to herself in her mind he said "I seem to be exhausted. Please help me dress."
'WHAT?' she thought. Her hands slid down from the door and she said "Yes. Of course."
She did her best to be modest and not steel any extra glances of his fair skin. She couldn't help but notice a few deep scars on his abdomen and wondered if they were always there or if they were recent. She came around in front of him and wrapped the kimono across his chest. She looked at his shoulder instead of up into his eyes or down at his body. She followed the line of his shoulder across to his collarbone and admired his natural lines there. She tied his narrow obi and left.
Jin laid down on the futon Shiroko prepared for him and his mind continued to reel with thoughts. Thoughts about Shino, about his obligations, Fuu and Mugen. He thought about the strange circle of fate that he seemed to be traveling in. His traveling companions arrived today. The same day Shino left. 'Am I to leave? Or do I stay and fulfill my obligations to Shiroko and her family?'
Jin felt the weight of his debts. His debts had to be paid. The debt he owed to Fuu for tending his wounds at Nagasaki. His debt to Mugen for taking care of Fuu all this time.
Apparently after achieving their much awaited goal offinding the sun flower samurai, Mugen and Fuu found themselves together again.Jin had walked his own road, until today.
Then there was Shiroko. Jin thought 'Am I obligated to fulfill what our parents promised each other even after their deaths? I didn't know, but I guess I do now. They were promises forged for the benefit of our family. Neither of us lays claim to our clans anymore. Who am I kidding? We have been sliced away from the bodies of our families, but we can still do them this honor.' He pictured Shiroko stuffing sweet buns into her mouth as a pudgy child and actually let out a grunt of laughter.
Jin shifted on his futon, unable to find a comfortable spot. 'Yet this conflicts with the arrival of Fuu and Mugen. I do not look forward to traveling thirsty, hungry, in danger, and cold. However I did feel alive then. I enjoyed Fuu's company and though his smell was offensive Mugen's constant challenges keep that time lively. I enjoyed it, and I was happy. Life is not this way. Life is not full of joy.'
Jin heard some murmuring come from the next room and watched the lights go out. His room was very dark, but he rolled over and again looked at his swords. 'My swords. They could help me pay my debts. Is this my fate? Live by the sword, die by the sword. Perhaps it is fate that I should die by my own blade.' He spent much of the night staring at the handle of his wakazashi barely glinting in the moonlight.
A week passed and the group was doing well. Their visit was longer than expected, but by no means unwelcome. Jin did not want an empty house at this time. Not after Shino left.
One morning Jin woke up and entered the other room. Shiroko was already awake and Jin found her working in the kitchen. She turned and greeted him with a bow and a smile then got back to slicing some vegetables. He did not greet hear back, but said "Shiroko, I need to speak with you. I have made a decision."
Shiroko's arms slowed and she then got back into her rhythm. 'Is he leaving? Is he going after Shino?' "Yes? What is it?"
"I need to pay my debt to you."
She stopped slicing and looked at her hands. 'Is this really happening? Did he just say…Does this mean…?' She turned to look at him, unsure what he meant. She stayed quiet and allowed him to continue with a smile beginning to broaden across her face.
Jin said solemnly "I owe it to my parents to fulfill this promise. They made a pact the traditional way through a nakodo. It is our duty to fulfill their wish."
Shiroko's smile faded when she heard Jin speak of honor and duty, but not affection. "I saw a shrine south of town. I will go with Fuu to ask if a priest may perform the ceremony."
Jin nodded his head and said "Go today. We will get this over with." Then he left the kitchen, picked up his katana, and went outside to practice.
Shiroko knew he did not want this. She felt regret seep into her gut. 'I've always wanted to be with him, but not this way. No, not like this.' Fuu yawned and stretched as she entered the kitchen. She saw Shiroko looking sick and inquired after her. She told Fuu that Jin had proposed and then how he proposed.
Fuu was worried. She did not see this ending well.