Chapter Nineteen: Reciprocation

Alex

I'm exhausted, emotionally and physically but I still can't sleep. You're passed out on the bed next to me, and I can't help being jealous of the peace you seem to have found. I stare at your face, bringing my hand up to brush the corner of your lips that's turned into an almost smile. Hours after I've done the one thing I'd never let you do I finally believe you get it. I think you finally understand that to me being gay just means I'm loved by you in a way no one else can. Maybe now we can stop having this argument over and over again ad naseum. I'd love it if we could just put this whole thing to rest.

I have no delusions that you won't slip, that you won't have moments where you're worried, or yes, even a little freaked out by it. But at least maybe now you won't let it stop you from being the woman I fell in love with. I roll onto my back and let one hand rest on your pillow, feeling the softness of your hair in my palm. You sigh and turn, tucking your still sleeping body into my side, one hand falling over my naked flesh, your fingertips tickling at my side, the weight of your arm warming my stomach. I curl my arm around you, taking my hand from your pillow and using it to pull you closer. I'm all too aware that tomorrow you'll be leaving me, that I may not see you again until after Christmas and I pause my thoughts for a moment to just enjoy this feeling of your cool skin next to mine. I feel selfish, I feel like I should kidnap you, tie you down, keep you here until I can go back to New York with you.

You shift again, and I feel you burrowing into my body, your arm tightening around me, your chin lifting slightly, lips open in your sleep and I can't resist dipping my head to meet them. At first you don't respond, but consciousness dawns slowly and you begin to return my kiss with your own, and you open sleepy eyes to look at me with those incredible chocolate oceans. God I love you.

"mmm I love you too."

I start, not realizing I've said it aloud.

"I didn't mean to wake you up, go back to sleep."

"It's ok, I can sleep on the plane." You kiss me again, then study my face, "have you slept at all?"

I shake my head.

"Lexi, you have to sleep. Don't you have to work today? I can sleep on the plane but you have to drive into town and back and then work besides."

"I'll be fine Liv. I'd rather just lie here with you."

"Until what?"

"Until you leave."

You tap my nose playfully, "you're such a goof."

I risk an argument but I just need to be sure, "About earlier… are you sure we're--ok? I mean, I know you're o.k." I roll my eyes at that lecherous grin, "but about the whole gay thing. It's important Liv. I need to feel like you understand."

You smirk a minute longer, then your eyes get deep, serious. "I get it Alex. You're going to have to be patient while I soak it in, but I do understand. And as usual, you're right, I meant that. I'll work on it. I can't promise I won't be uncomfortable with it at times, but I'm not going to flip out about it anymore ok? I promise."

I raise my eyebrows at you, wanting to believe you but not entirely convinced.

"I'll just say it over and over again until I believe it. What was it you said? 'I'm gay means I'm loved?' Sounds good to me."

I feel a smile spreading across my face, it's about damn time. I don't have much time to enjoy the thought as your hand makes a soft line down my body, moving towards my legs and my body reacts accordingly. You don't have to work hard, I'm already wet from just the thought of your intentions. You grin at me, the rest of your body still tucked into my side and you move your leg over mine, almost wrapping them together as you dip a finger inside me, stroking me softly, gently. I turn a little, giving you better access, and at the same time giving me a better position to see you while you touch me.

You tried for hours to return the favor, and this time I don't stop you… choosing instead to enjoy the sensation of your fingers inside of me, of your thumb dallying around my clit, of your mouth as you pull me into a kiss, as your draw my tongue into your mouth, pull me into you, into the place where I belong.

Olivia

When I feel your lips on mine I think I'm dreaming, and for a moment I am but I'm quickly pulled awake by the realization that you're awake, and kissing me. I'm glad you're done being angry, that we're done being upset and hurt and conflicted. I hear you whisper as I open my eyes,

"God I love you."

I grin, "mmm, I love you too."

"I didn't mean to wake you up, go back to sleep."

"It's ok, I can sleep on the plane." You haven't slept, and I can tell."Lexi, you have to sleep. Don't you have to work today? I can sleep on the plane but you have to drive into town and back and then work besides."

You tell me you want to stay with me, awake until I leave, and I can't resist a tap on your nose, "you're such a goof."

You take a deep breath, "About earlier… are you sure we're--ok? I mean, I know you're o.k."

I start to tell you I'm better than ok after last night, but you roll your eyes and interrupt, "But about the whole gay thing. It's important Liv. I need to feel like you understand."

"I get it Alex. You're going to have to be patient while I soak it in, but I do understand. And as usual, you're right, I meant that. I'll work on it. I can't promise I won't be uncomfortable with it at times, but I'm not going to flip out about it anymore ok? I promise. I'll just say it over and over again until I believe it. What was it you said? 'I'm gay means I'm loved?' Sounds good to me."

I try again to touch you the way I wanted to last night, and this time you don't resist. I lock onto your eyes as my hand slides down your body, reaching for your center. I don't worry about your arousal, I know how your body reacts to me. By the time I reach the most beautiful v in the world you're already wet, and waiting. I dip the tip of my finger beyond your silky folds, sliding inside you slowly, gently. I love the way your skin envelopes me, takes me in, hugs at me.

You turn towards me, relieving my arm of the awkward angle and letting me stare in your eyes as I stroke you, soaking my fingers in your juices, letting you coat me with your desire. You shut your eyes, squeezing your lids together as I add a second finger, gently pushing inside you, feeling your walls react, feeling your body respond from the inside out. I reach my free hand to your face, pulling you into a kiss as you open your eyes again, staring me down. I add a third finger, sliding inside, feeling your tightness around me as I withdraw, then enter again, making love to you slowly, tenderly, watching the flush rise on your neck, watching your breath catch as my hand tickles inside you, as my thumb finally settles directly on your clit.

You whisper my name, your tone strained as you bite your lip. Your body jumps, and I love that little gasp as I increase my tempo, dipping my head to take your breast in my lips, suckling at your nipple feeling your body squirm, feeling you start to yearn for release. I rake my teeth over your standing nipple, then move my head back level with yours as your mouth seeks mine.

I move my hand more forcefully, shortening the length of my thrusts, moving my thumb more quickly around your swollen clit, I cradle your head with my free hand, holding you so you can't look away, so you have to get lost in me while you come. When I feel your body relaxing, feel myself slipping from inside you I bring my hand back up, watch you watch me as I taste you on my fingers. When I'm done, you're blushing again, and I can't resist the jab,

"Gonna miss me?" I wink and you pounce, tickling at my ribs until I cry from laughter. You don't answer my question, but I know… because I'm going to miss you too.