A/N: ok so this is my first compleated fanfic, I wrote it with my friend PhantomoftheOpera. I hope you like it. please R&R
Disclaimer: neither Phantom nor I own any of these guys(except for those that we do), other people do. Paramount Pictures owns Star Trek, and some other rich executive type people and or companies own the other stuff. I just don't feel like looking up who at the moment. Anyway, the point is we don't own them they do. We are just borrowing them for the moment.
Announcer: in loud 70's announcer like voice Thank you for joining us on...LOST IIIIIIIIN THE DEEEEEEELTA QUADRENT! Staring Captain Janeway, Chakotay, Tom, B'Elanna, Kim, Tuvok, Seven, The Doc, Kes, and any other random characters we choose to add. And now…a commercial break
commercial break
Announcer: we join our crew...
Kes: Do you have to deal with random telepathic phenomenon? Do you wish you could control them? Well now, for a limited time only, we're offering subscriptions to "Tuvok's Guide to mental calm" for only 14.99 a day, plus shipping an handling! Tuvok's Guide worked for me, and it can work for you too! Cheesy grin
Announcer: Okay... NOW we join our crew
Janeway: hmmmm….So I'm bored what should we do today?
Chakotay: Try and get home?
Tom: Nah, we did that yesterday.
Harry: I'm hungry, can I have a cookie?
Janeway: No, you had 5 already.
Neelix: You can have one of my "special" cookies!
Janeway: Neelix, get out
Neelix starts to cry
Kes: Now look what you did! comforts Neelix
Janeway: Shut up Neelix! Tuvok?
Tuvok neck pinches Neelix, and Kes too for good measure
Kes and Neelix: OW!
Tuvok: Why didn't it work?
Tom: Was that supposed to happen?
Tuvok: No.
Tom: What went wrong?
Tuvok: How should I know? I'm a Vulcan not a doctor.
Qfan: hehe
Doctor: Hey! That's my line! Except... different...
Tuvok: That's right! Now...GET OFF THE BRIDGE!
Janeway death glares at Tuvok
Doctor: NO! Computer, activate Emergency Command Hologram! I'm taking over!
Janeway death glares at The Doctor
Janeway: DOCTOR GET OFF MY BRIDGE! NOW!
Doctor: NO!
The Doctor Puts forcefields around all of the crew
Harry: whining I CANT DIE NOW! IM ONLY AN ENSIGN!
Janeway: Doctor, drop these forcefields NOW!
Doctor: hmmmmmm let me think about it...NO
Janeway: Computer, deactivate forcefields.
Computer: Hello, I'm Eddie your friendly computer. What can I do for you on this fiiine day?
Phantom: LOL
Janeway: Whatthe?
Computer: Please restate the request
Janeway: What on earth happened?
Eddie: Welll...Actually nothing as the earth has been destroyed by the Vogons to make way for a hyperspacial expressway
Janeway: WHAT!
Eddie: I said welll...actually nothing as the earth has been destroyed by the Vogons to make way for a hyperspacial expressway
Janeway: Earth was destroyed?
Tom: Well, I guess there's no point in trying to get there anymore...
Eddie: Yes, well, sorry for the bad news
Zaphod: TO MAGRATHEA!
Janeway: Where the is Magrathea, and who are you?
Zephod: Who am I? WHO AM I? I'm Zaphod Beeblebrox ex-president of the galaxy, Owner of The Heart of Gold!
Tom: Riiiiiight...
Trillian: :Zaphod calm down!
Janeway: Who are you people, and what are you doing on my bridge!
Arthur: Do you people have any tea?
Ford: Sorry
Janeway: Get me Coffee, NOW!
Eddie: Please step over to the Drink-O-Matic for all your beverage needs.
Janeway: The wha... where did Voyager go? Where's my crew?
Ford: Sorry. It's the Improbability Drive, it does weird things.
Arthur: It once turned me into a couch.
Janeway: Where the #! is my crew!
Zaphod: Who cares?
Janeway turns on Zaphod with an evil look on her face
Janeway: Who cares? Who cares! Who do you think you are!
Zaphod: I told you! I'm Zaphod Beeblebrox!
Janeway: What right do you have to bring me here, without explaining anything, and then discount my attempts to figure out what the #! is going on!
Q: Hello Kathy!
Janeway: Q! This is your fault, isn't it? What did you do to me!
Q: Nope. Actually I had nothing to do with this, believe it or not.
Janeway: Fine. Then take me back to Voyager.
Q: OK
Q snaps his fingers and all is back to normal
Q: Will you go out with me? Please?
Janeway: No.
Tom: Captain, what happened?
Janeway: I'd rather not talk about it.
Q: w..w...w...why not...?
Janeway: Because you're a jerk.
Kim: Captain made a swear!
Q: I AM NOT!
Janeway: You are too!
Q: Am not!
Janeway: Yes you are. I'm finished talking about this. Get off my ship.
Q: NO
Janeway: Q...
Q: Yeees...
Janeway: Go away.
Q: I don't wanna
Janeway: Q, if you don't leave now, I will hate you forever.
Q: OK fine I'll leave. But I will be back
Janeway: Whatever.
Eddie: Where would you like to go?
Janeway: And somebody get our old computer back.
Eddie: OK. Fine sniffle I know when I'm not wanted!
Eddie's voice is replaced by the voice of Holly
Holly: Their dead Dave.
Janeway sighs
Holly: All dead.
Janeway sighs again
Holly: Hello can I help you?
Janeway: Please get me back our old computer.
Holly: I can't do that Dave.
Janeway: Who is Dave?
Holly: I don't know Dave. They're dead Dave. All dead.
Janeway: What is it talking about?
Dave: Wait, Holly are you trying to tell me they're all dead?
Holly: Yes Dave.
Janeway: Dave? you're Dave?
Dave: Yup. And this is Rimmer.
Rimmer appears
Rimmer: Hello I'm Rimmer.
Dave: He's a smeghead.
Phantom: Q, I have no idea what you're talking about...
Qfan: Red Dwarf. Sorry. They will disappear
Phantom: sok
Harry: Wow, where'd they go?
Doctor: How should I know? I'm a doctor not a sensor.
All: SHUT UP!
Doctor: I don' wanna.
Janeway: Computer, transfer the EMH to sickbay
Doctor: awwwwwwww party pooper
The Doctor disappears
Harry: Yay, he's gone!
Chakotay: Finally! whispers to Janeway Kathryn can we be alone for a bit?
Janeway: whispers back In my ready room.
Chakotay: Now? looking hopeful
Janeway: Okay. heads to the Ready Room
Chakotay follows Janeway into the Ready Room
In the Ready room
Janeway: Chakotay, when do we tell them we're engaged?
Chakotay: Whenever you are ready.
Janeway: Are you ready?
Chakotay: I am. Are you?
Janeway: thinks I think so.
Chakotay: Shall we now?
Janeway: All right.
both return to bridge
Janeway: Um, we have an announcement.
Tom: quietly finally!
Chakotay: We believe it is time to tell you all...
Harry: loudly Finally what, tom?
Tom: great, thanks Harry!
Chakotay: What...?
Tom: Nothing Sir.
Chakotay clears his throat
Phantom: There we go, back on track!
Qfan: OK good.
Janeway: That we...
Chakotay: Are going to...
Both Janeway and Chakotay: Get married!
Tom: YES!
ALL: in extremely monotonous voice and there was much rejoicing wave flags in the air
QFan: hehe
Phantom: lol, Monty Python!
QFan: yup
Phantom: yay!
Two weeks later
Naomi walks down the isle, tossing little flowers out of a basket
Qfan: huge grin
Phantom: huge grin
Tuvok: Do you Captain Kathryn Janeway take him, Commander Chakotay... umm...do you have another name Commander?
Chakotay: laughs No.
Tuvok: Well OK then...Do you Captain Kathryn Janeway take him, Commander Chakotay to be your lawful wedded husband?
Janeway: I do.
Authors: AWWWWWWWWW!
Tuvok: Do you, Commander Chakotay, take this woman, Kathryn Janeway, to be your lawful wedded wife?
Chakotay: YES!
polite laughter from the rest of the crew
Janeway: death glares at crew
loud laughter begins at the death glare
Tuvok: clears throat, and laughter stops In that case you may now touch your two fingers.
Uproarious laughter from the crew
Tuvok: FINE! We will do it your way, slight shudder, you may now kiss the bride.
Qfan: YAY!
Passionate kiss between Janeway and Chakotay
Phantom: EEE! NOW I'm so extremely happy!
ALL:AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
All clap hands
QFan: ME TOO!
Janeway and Chakotay both have HUGE grins on their faces
QFan: Shall we end here?
Phantom: okay
Phantom: WHEEE! that made me happy!
QFan: ME TOO!HAPPY!
Phantom: WOOOHOO!
Announcer: Thank you for joining us on………………… LOST IIIIIIIIN THE DEEEEEEELTA QUADRENT! Join us next time for: Interview With A Spacial Anomaly, when we talk to the Bajoran Wormhole. How does it feel about all those ships passing through it? What are its thoughts on the current political situation within the Federation? FIND THE ANSWERS TO THESE QUESTIONS AND MORE ON: IIIINERVIIEEW WITH A SPAAAAACIAL ANOMAAAALYLYLYLYLYLYLY