Chapter Twenty-Eight: Road Trip

Alex

By the third day of driving I'm wishing I'd let you come with me. Long days in the car and short nights in hotels have worn me through, and I'm ready to be done with this trip. What on earth possessed me to make it a road trip? I'm not a road trip kind of girl. Granted it's better than driving in the other direction with a clutch of federal agents in tow and Agent Hammond at the wheel, but only marginally so. I've switched from coffee to mountain dew, and my music selection has gotten noticeably louder and a little angry-- mostly in an effort to keep me awake during long flat stretches through the middle of the country. I've already decided I was crazy to do so much driving in a day, and that I should have booked hotels that were much closer together. As it is I hate to stop before I hit a reservation, and to that end I've spent my first two days on the road driving for almost fifteen hours both days.

I pull into my third hotel to find the office closed for the night already. I meant to call earlier and ask them to hold my reservation. I cross my fingers and knock on the glass door, hoping that the managers are in the back room and not heavy sleepers. I move from knocking on the door to knocking on a shaded window, through which I can make out the flickering of a television. An angry man with two-day stubble, scruffy hair and thick black glasses holds the door ajar, his head through the opening.

"Closed. We're closed lady what do you want?"

"I have a reservation, Cabot single."

"It's after midnight."

"I'm sorry, I forgot to call while I was on the road."

He looks around, "we're full. Go somewhere else."

I turn and check the parking lot, which holds two cars for a fully functioning motel. "Really? Could have fooled me. Look, you'll get to bed much faster if you just check me in and let me go to my room."

He pauses for a moment, then grunts and opens the door. Twenty minutes later I'm passed out on a questionably 'clean' bed, not realizing until the trilling of my phone breaks my stupor that I've forgotten to call you. I reach sleepily for the phone and smile as I hear your voice,

"You are alive."

"Sorry baby, I fell asleep and forgot to call."

"I was worried, you said you'd call."

"I know I know, I'm sorry. I drove sixteen hours today and had to wake up the motel manager to get my room." I'm really not in the mood for being worried over, and I'd rather get sleep right now than tell you about all sixteen hours of driving I've done today.

"Ok, don't bite my head off. I just worried about you and wanted to make sure you were all right." You sound hurt, and I feel a little guilty. I know you miss me, and we're both anxious for this to be over.

I sigh and apologize, then ask to hear about your day. You talk about your new cases, about Elliot's pending divorce hearing, and about a call you had from mother. Somewhere along the way I fall asleep to the sound of your voice. At some point I hear you whisper an I love you and in my dreams my thoughts turn from the innocent to the erotic as I remember the things we did my last night in Oregon.

Olivia

I'm telling you about the conversation I had with your mom today when I hear your breathing deepen, and I realize you've fallen asleep. I debate hanging up, but I miss you, miss the sound of you sleeping. I leave the phone on, putting on the headset I bought after you went back to Oregon the first time. I lay in our half empty bed and feel myself being lulled to sleep by the sound of you when I realize your breathing has changed, quickened. I turn up the volume and hear you moaning, then smile… realizing that in your sleep you're dreaming… I can only assume-- of me.

I whisper into the phone, "I love you Lexi."

There's a pause, and I hear you sleepily respond, "Liv?"

"I'm here baby… you were dreaming."

You giggle quietly, "Can you guess what it was about?"

"Judging by the moan, I would certainly hope it was about me. Otherwise you have some explaining to do counselor."

"I was just remembering the other night." Your voice is heavy, full of sleep and warmth, and I grin wider, deciding to play into the moment.

"So, what are you wearing?"

"Mmmm not now Livvy, I need to sleep…"

"And I'm going to help you. You know you always sleep better after…"

You groan, and I proceed,

"You know what I have on Alex?"

"Liv…"

"The necklace you gave me, and my engagement ring."

"Nothing else?"

"Not a damn thing. Can you picture that? Me naked, waiting for you?"

You groan, but the tenor is different this time, aroused, not angry.

"What about you Alex… what are you doing right now?"

You sigh, and I can see the expression on your face as well as if you were laying beside me in our bed. You want to resist, but you can't and I listen to your willpower dissolve.

"I'm imagining you're here, that your hand is in my hair, your body pressed up next to mine, our skin together."

"Take my hand from your hair, move it down… let it rest alongside your face, can you feel my thumb on your cheek, my fingers playing with your earlobe? Move down, slowly… take my path down the line of your neck, feel me brushing the edge of your jaw, a finger across your lips. Can you feel me with you? Am I there-- next to you?"

"Yes Liv… don't stop."

I smile, secretly thrilled to have this kind of power even when we're apart. "What are you wearing Alex? Are in still dressed?"

There's a rustling, and I can hear you pulling the rough motel covers over your skin, the edge brushing the phone. "No… I'm bare, ready… what do I do?"

"Move your hand down, lower… let your fingers brush over your nipple, feel the weight of your flesh in your hand… imagine my hand stroking the edge of you, tracing lines along your side, down to your hip then up, around the roundness of your skin."

You moan quietly, and I close my eyes, picturing your hand on my own body, mimicking the instructions I've given you. "Lower now, slower now… let your hand lie flat on your stomach, feel my hand on your skin, pausing above you, waiting above you… are you ready for me now? Ready for me to touch you?"

"Please… yes Liv… please can I…?"

"Mmm… yes-- but slowly Lexi… just one finger, let one finger fall between your legs, one finger trace that line from bottom to top, not inside… but almost. Are you wet baby? Wet for me? I am. Can you feel me with you?"

You gasp as I do, my finger gathering my arousal, quickly coating my finger… your finger. I'm trying to stay in control of this, the way you did the other night but it's hard not to get lost in the fantasy of it… in the idea of you with me.

"Lexi… are you there?"

"Yes Liv… please…"

"Please what Lex?"

"Fuck me…"

Those words from your mouth are enough for me, you love to hear me say them but rarely do you say them, and now I know why it excites you so much when I do. There's something so visceral about their vulgarity that almost pushes me over without another touch. I struggle for a minute, groaning into the phone before I can recover and continue.

"Say it again…"

"Fuck. Me."

"Move your finger Alex… feel my finger finding you, pushing inside, pushing beyond where your skin is swollen for me. Add another finger, do you feel me inside you, moving, reaching, twisting?"

I'm answered with a moan and I mimic my instructions, feeling your hand inside my own body, the lines between real and imagined blurred, obscured completely, unrecognizable as I begin to lose my voice to the breathiness of my desire,

"Faster Alex… faster. More. Please…"

Your breathing is ragged, strained and I can feel you getting closer as I fondle my breast with my free hand… increasing my tempo, trying to match you, wanting to come with you. I feel my body contracting around my fingers, feel my stomach clench, my legs tighten and I'm driven over the final edge as you join me,

"Olivia! I'm… I'm… oh god." There's a silence as you cross the bridge to your orgasm, and I smile again, letting my hand rest lazily between my legs as you expel a satisfied sigh into the phone.

"Feel better?"

"Mmmm… you have to ask?"

"Goodnight Alexandra."

"What? Now?"

"Yup. Don't you have to be up and on the road again in like five hours?"

"That's so unfair."

"I didn't promise to be fair, I promised to be good. And I think we can both agree--"

"Damn you Benson."

"I love you Alex… sleep well. Hurry Home."

Alex

"I love you Alex… sleep well. Hurry Home."

There's a distinctive click on the line and I pull the phone away from my ear and stare at it. You cheat. What if I wanted to cuddle? I laugh at the thought of curling my body around a cell phone and let you off the hook. Besides, you have a point-- I've got about five hours until I need to be back on the road and I let the wobbly post-coital feeling pull me away into a deep sleep.

My cell phone chirps at 7am, and remembering that I forgot to actually set an alarm I answer groggily,

"Wha--?"

"Good morning sunshine. I figured you'd probably forget to set the alarm so I wanted to make sure you were up and ready to go."

"ugh… morning Liv. Aren't you at work?"

"Yeah, Elliot and I are on the way back to the house, just left a scene. I wanted to make sure you were up because you were a little… out of it last night."

I can hear the smirk in your voice, and I blush, even though I'm sure Elliot has no idea what you're talking about. A panic flashes through my body as I realize that Elliot just might know what you're smirking about. After all-- partner's talk. Oh Jesus.

"Well anyway, you're up, and we're back so I'll let you get on the road. Back to work with me, love you baby."

"Bye Liv."

I hear Elliot yell a goodbye in the background and then the phone is quiet. I roll in the bed and then force myself up and into the shower. Within half an hour I'm packed up, clean and on the road. By nine pm I'm exhausted and ready to stop, but still three hours from my next hotel, this time I remember to call ahead and let them know I'm delayed. The manager agrees to stay in the front office until I arrive. I hang up and crank up the CD you sent me before I left. I let the sound of Norah Jones silky voice fill the car and carry me towards my next destination-- one day closer to you.

Olivia

The week drags by. Each night you call from a different town, usually from a different state, and you've tacked an extra day on your trip because I threatened to fly out and kill you myself if you tried to drive again after the fifth day in a row of being in the car for more than fourteen hours. It's inhuman the pace you're setting and I've been worried about your safety on the road. I should have insisted you let me fly out and drive with you, but you had some notion about embracing your last bit of youthful independence despite your ahem thirty plus years of age. I don't pretend to understand, I just let you ride off on some ridiculous road trip without me.

I check my watch for the hundredth time, and Elliot shakes his head at me over the computer he's searching for information.

"She'll call you when she gets into town Liv."

"Can it Stabler."

I check my phone… again, wondering why you're not here yet.

"Detectives, my office. Now."

Saved by the captain. At least if I'm getting reamed out I won't be worrying about you. We follow Don's angry strides and Elliot closes the door gingerly behind us.

"You want to explain why Casey just delivered a restraining order against the two of you. One that prevents you from talking to the only two witnesses we had in this investigation?"

My cell phone chirps, of course you'd get into town now.

"You answer that detective and it'll be your badge on my desk. Start talking."

"The mother is overreacting captain, look all we wanted to do was ask a couple of questions and she flipped out."

"According to the report from her attorney you grabbed her daughter by the arm, told her you knew what it was like to be in love with a girl and that you encouraged her to come to you with any 'questions'." The air quotes around the word questions and the look on his face make it pretty clear what the mother meant. He looks up at me while slamming the folder down on his desk.

"Look, captain…"

"I don't want to hear it Olivia. She's filing a sexual harassment suit on behalf of her daughter."

"She's crazy! Olivia never touched her, and they were never alone together without me." Elliot's face is red, almost purple in anger, and I find myself strangely speechless. The case hasn't gone smoothly, but I never expected to get attacked.

Our victim has two sisters, both of whom may or may not have been molested by the stepfather. One of the sisters, seventeen and probably the original victim admitted during an interview with Elliot and I that she was gay, and afraid to tell her family.

"Look, Don the girl was terrified that her family was going to find out she's gay. She started to cry, Liv put one hand on her shoulder, I handed her a Kleenex, and Olivia said she understood. Nothing more, nothing less. And besides that, the mother wasn't even in the room, she has no idea what did or didn't happen. This whole thing is ridiculous. The mother is trying to deflect attention from her molesting bastard of a second husband."

"Either way, I don't have much choice here. Olivia you're off the case, Elliot get with Munch and Fin and fill them in on what you know. Then you head out and talk to people in the neighborhood. Benson you're on ass duty until further notice."

"Cap--"

"No arguments. You're lucky I was able to talk them out of an automatic suspension. You better hope your girlfriend gets back in time to make this suit go away or you're looking at a demotion and a transfer. Get back to work. And find me another witness Stabler. Quickly."

I slam my way out of the office, not wanting a personal reprimand on top of everything else. I grab my coat and head for the door, ignoring Elliot's voice behind me. Right now the only person I want to see is you. It's time for lunch anyway. By the time hit the elevator my eyes sting with tears. This is the first time my life with you has affected my work this way, and I'm not ashamed to say it has me incredibly frightened. I listen to the message you've left as I hit the street, and hail a cab back to the apartment, wanting to fight my tears until you're there to dry them for me. I need you to take this away.