Chapter 25 Disillusionment
Lily walked away from Bellatrix purposefully, still furious, James next to her and the others following. Obligingly, her knees and hands waited until she had rounded the corner before they began to shake and the residual shock set in. "I can't believe I did that," Lily said finally as they reached the main floor.
James and Sirius were regarding Lily with a mixture of awe and admiration. James put his arm round Lily with a proud expression and Sirius grinned at her as though he were just seeing her for the first time and liked what he saw.
"Well personally I'm delighted that that mad bitch finally got her comeuppance and that you were the one to give it to her," Alice spoke up, a delighted grin stealing across her face.
"Hear, hear," Frank chimed in with satisfaction. "Psychotic cow's been asking for that for ages."
"I'm only sorry I didn't take a swing," Alice added thoughtfully.
"I have to admit that was pretty impressive, Evans," Sirius was clearly amused. "Not too many people slap Bellatrix and retain their tongues to tell the tale."
"Lily!" Kathleen, Morwenna, and Dorcas had spotted them and hurried over.
"What happened?" Kathleen wanted to know.
Alice grinned at Lily and opened her mouth to begin. "You'll never believe what Lily did to that psychotic cow........."
* * *
The next day, Saturday, was the Hufflepuff-Gryffindor Quidditch match, a game that had been highly anticipated all year. The Hufflepuffs had quite a good team this year, due in large part to fifth year Beater Ludo Bagman, and stood a better chance of defeating the Gryffindors than they had in twenty or so years. Of course, the Gryffindors were determined not to allow this to happen, but it should prove to be a brilliant match anyway.
The school had shaken itself out of its sadness a bit in anticipation of the match. Of course, a few reserves had to be brought in and each side was missing a few supporters, but all in all the level of excitement was quite close to what it generally was in anticipation of a Quidditch match.
James was quite excited over the game himself; not only was this going to be an amazing game but Lily was going to be in the stands cheering him on as his girlfriend. He'd been dreaming about this since he was eleven, although most of those fantasies had involved Lily, completely overcome with awe at James' stellar Quidditch skills, jumping into James' arms and the two of them riding off into the sunset together on his broomstick. Of course, James was mature enough now to know that this wouldn't happen. It would just be silly. But James polished his broomstick just in case it did.
Besides the potential sunset-riding, James was quite excited for another reason and a bit nervous as well. There was something he wanted to talk to Lily about after the match, something that was sure to win him loads of points with her.
The Gryffindor and Hufflepuff teams left for the pitch among cheers from their respective House tables. James glanced over his shoulder at Lily one last time and winked at her. Lily rolled her eyes but smiled at him just the same, clapping along with the rest. Impulsively James dashed back round the table toward Lily. "Kiss me for luck?" James asked, putting on his most appealing expression. Blushing slightly, Lily did then shoved him off toward his waiting teammates, shaking her head at him.
Half an hour later, Lily walked down to the pitch with Alice, Kathleen, and Morwenna. Remus was in the hospital wing in anticipation of the full moon tonight and Peter was visiting him, presumably. This, combined with a cold she was fighting off, made Kathleen seem rather dejected and Lily wondered again when Remus would get round to sharing his secret with her. It was bound to become a problem eventually and from the look on Kathleen's face, eventually was soon.
The four girls settled into the Gryffindor stands, scanning the excited crowd for familiar faces. A few minutes later, the two teams took the field and Madam Hooch blew her whistle, signaling the start of the match.
As everyone had predicted, it was a very exciting game. The Hufflepuffs had discovered some new talent to go along with Ludo Bagman and were much better than any of the current Hogwarts students could remember seeing them.
James and his fellow Chasers found it harder than usual to get past the Hufflepuff Beaters and score. Gryffindor was still up by twenty points, but that lead could go at any time.
"Excellent use of the Bludgers by Ludo Bagman!" Warren Windlesham of Ravenclaw intoned as Bagman foiled yet another Gryffindor pass attempt. James blew his hair out of his eyes, frustrated. He sincerely hoped that Shepard, their new Seeker, would catch the Snitch soon. WHY did Olivia Sullivan have to pass her NEWTs last year? James raged silently. We'd have won this match by now if only Olivia had been stupid.
Shaking his head, James returned his focus to the game and he, Dorcas, and Swinton managed to score another goal, as did the Hufflepuffs, though neither goal came without a lot of effort. James was concentrating so intensely that when the Gryffindor crowd began to cheer he had no idea what had happened.
"It seems that the Gryffindor Seeker has seen the Snitch!" Windlesham exclaimed. "Hufflepuff Seeker Markham is in hot pursuit, but Maggie Shepard has a big lead."
James watched as the two Seekers dove down on the Slytherin end of the field, squinting a bit at them. Maggie did have a big lead on Markham, this was looking good.....
As the entire crowd watched, something flew up from the Slytherin stands and hit Maggie squarely in the face, throwing her off course.
"Mudblood!" Someone shouted from the crowd, and as Maggie came up, wiping her face, James realized what had hit her. Mud. Someone in the Slytherin section had thrown mud at Maggie Shepard and caused her to lose track of the Snitch.
Sirius quickly diverted one of the Bludgers toward Markham, effectively distracting him from the Snitch. Then James called a time out.
"All right, Shepard?" James called out as the team flew into a huddle.
"All right," Maggie said, but she looked a bit shaken.
"Bastards," Dorcas said, shaking her head as she handed Maggie a hankie so she could wipe the rest of the mud off of her face.
"We can't let this distract us," James said grimly. "That's exactly what whoever threw the mud wanted. We're close, and we would've won a minute ago if that wanker hadn't interfered."
"Don't let it get you down," Frank advised Maggie and Sirius and Higgins nodded emphatically.
"Oh, I won't," Maggie replied grimly. "Those Slytherin bastards would love nothing more than to see us lose and I won't let that happen."
And she didn't. It took another hour before Maggie finally caught the Snitch, an hour in which Hufflepuff scored twice more and Gryffindor once more and Sirius and Higgins were fouled twice each for "accidentally" pelting Bludgers into the Slytherin stands.
The Gryffindors and some of the Ravenclaws erupted into cheers when Madam Hooch blew her whistle and declared the Gryffindors the winners. Most of the Slytherins booed loudly, joined by a few of the Hufflepuffs, and the spectators flooded onto the field, the Gryffindors to congratulate their team, the Hufflepuffs to console theirs.
James felt a bit more satisfied than usual after this particular win; they had shown up the Slytherins who had played that filthy joke on Maggie Shepard by refusing to let it distract them. He wished he knew who had thrown that mud, but he had a fairly good idea.
Quickly James shook hands with Hufflepuff captain Ludo Bagman and after speaking briefly to Maggie, went off in search of Lily.
Scanning the crowd on the field, it took James a moment to realize that Lily was still up in the stands talking to Kathleen. Impulsively, James swung over his broom and kicked off, soaring easily up to the Gryffindor stands and landing in front of Lily.
Kathleen grinned as she caught sight of him. "I'll see you later, shall I?" she said to Lily and began to make her way down.
"Congratulations," Lily smiled her luminous smile at James.
"Thanks," James grinned back, his heart flip-flopping.
Shouldering his broom, James took Lily's hand as they made their way down the steps.
"How's Maggie?" Lily asked after a minute, her brow creasing slightly.
"Dunno," James shrugged. "She says she's ok but I'm not sure."
"Maybe we ought to go and talk to her later," Lily suggested, her brow creasing with concern.
"Right," James said, slightly nervous.
Lily and James walked in silence for a few minutes while James tried to work up the courage to ask Lily what he had been going to ask her. Oh sod it, James finally got fed up with himself. No guts, no glory. He opened his mouth.
"Er - I - er- I'm glad you can make it to Morwenna's party," James got out. Smooth. Very smooth.
"Me too," Lily's smile widened. She and James had talked about the party just last night and she was desperately excited to be going with him.
"Y'know," James continued in a would-be casual tone, "my parents go to the Marchbanks' every year, and since they'll be there and you'll be there, I thought - well - I thought maybe you could meet them," James held his breath.
"I'd love to," Lily said comfortably. She'd been prepared for this possibility by Morwenna and was actually quite looking forward to it. It should prove interesting to meet the two people who had produced James Potter.
James expelled his breath, relief washing over him. Phase one of his plan seemed to be going along swimmingly. "Brilliant," he grinned at Lily, who smiled back at him and squeezed his hand.
James allowed himself another moment of silence before going on.
"I was thinking," he began hesitantly, "since you'll be meeting my parents it seems only fair that I should meet yours. Like maybe sometime over the holidays," James paused expectantly. Silence.
"If you want, that is," he added quickly.
"Oh. That - that would be - just - brilliant," Lily's reply had come a bit too late. James looked thoroughly crestfallen. "Brilliant!" she overcompensated. "I'd LOVE it, really I would," she stressed frantically.
"Really?" James brightened.
"Oh, absolutely!" Lily gushed, wondering why she couldn't seem to stop.
"That's a relief," James put an arm round Lily's shoulders. "For a second there I thought you didn't want me to meet them."
"That's ridiculous," Lily said airily, an intense pain searing her left temple. Oh bloody, bloody hell.
* * *
Two hours later Lily managed to escape the common room party and James' holiday plans by claiming that she wanted to write to her parents immediately. Running to her dormitory like boggarts were on her tail, Lily slammed the door shut and leaned against it. "Bollocks," she said aloud.
"Something wrong, Lils?" Lily started and looked frantically round till she spotted Kathleen sitting on her bed and looking at least as bad as Lily felt.
"In a word, yes," Lily sighed and plopped down on the bed next to Kathleen's, burying her face in the pillow. Her headache had gotten steadily worse with all of the talk of afternoon tea and attaching the Evans household to the Floo network.
"Tell me about it," Kathleen suggested. "It might help me take my mind off my own problems."
"What - " Lily started to ask but Kathleen shook her head.
"You first."
Lily poured out the whole story about James suggesting she meet his parents and then suggesting that he should meet hers.
"I don't understand," Kathleen's brow furrowed. "Your parents are lovely. What's the problem?"
It's not them I'm worried about," Lily explained. "It's my stupid sister and her fat and stupid fiancé. My parents will want THEM to meet James too and then the shit will have really hit the fan."
"Oh." Kathleen had heard enough stories about Petunia to understand Lily's concern without further explanation. "That IS a problem."
"Don't I know it," Lily flopped back down on the bed, dejected.
"He'll have to meet her sooner or later though," Kathleen commented. "And it looks as though it's going to be sooner."
Both sat still, digesting this last statement. "Bollocks," Lily repeated finally.
"Looks like," Kathleen shrugged dejectedly.
"So why are you up here by yourself?" Lily asked, remembering Kathleen's problem.
"It's Remus," Kathleen sighed, looking thoroughly miserable. "I think something's wrong with him."
"Why do you say that?" Lily asked carefully, watching Kathleen.
"I went to the hospital wing a bit ago to get some Pepper-Up Potion for my cold," Kathleen explained. "And Remus was there in bed, even though he told me that he was visiting his mum this weekend. Lily, he looked awful; he was all pale and sweaty. I think something's wrong with him and I don't understand why he's lying to me about it," Kathleen was on the verge of tears.
Lily put a comforting hand on her friend's shoulder. Bollocks. Again. "Maybe you should ask Remus about it when he gets out of hospital," Lily suggested. "Tell him what you saw and then give him a chance to explain."
"I think you're right," Kathleen gave a watery smile and Lily smiled back. "Thanks, Lils. Sorry I'm not being more of a help to you."
"Don't worry about it," Lily waved it off. "I'll sort this mess out somehow. And maybe you're right. Maybe it's best to get it over with now."
* * *
Despite Kathleen's and later Alice's advice, Lily remained on tenterhooks about this meeting between her boyfriend and her family until she received her parents' reply to her letter. As she'd expected, they were enthusiastic about the idea of meeting James and agreed that the Sunday before Christmas would be best, as Petunia's wedding was the week after and they would be too busy that week to have any company.
The piece of news that relieved Lily's tension and nearly caused her to shriek with joy was the news that, unfortunately, Petunia and Vernon wouldn't be able to join them as they'd already accepted an invitation to go to Vernon's parents' home that weekend and would have to meet James at another time. Unfortunately indeed.
Without Petunia, Lily would know what it was to be part of a normal family, a family where her sister didn't hate her and fear her way of life. Lily's parents had always been extremely supportive of Lily's magic and she knew that they would treat James as kindly as they treated everyone. Maybe this wouldn't be so horrible after all.
As Lily became more receptive to the idea of meeting each other's families, James grew more and more enthusiastic about it. He was determined that it would go perfectly and threw himself secretly into Muggle research so that he would know what to say to Lily's parents and how to behave and what to expect. He intended to be a serious part of their daughter's future, and that might prove difficult if he made some sort of faux pas that shocked the Evanses into hating him.
With all of James' research and Lily's anxiety, the rest of November passed quickly and before either of them felt ready for it, December had arrived and the holidays were now only a week away.
Lily and James weren't the only ones whose nerves were on edge; Alice would be meeting Frank's mother for the first time at the Marchbanks' New Year's party and she was somewhere near a nervous breakdown.
Kathleen had asked Remus about his hospital stay and it seemed, from what Lily had gathered, that Remus had avoided the issue, making up some story about catching something from his mother and having to stay in the hospital wing. Honestly Lily couldn't determine whether Kathleen believed it or not. They were still together for now, but Lily really couldn't say how long that would last if the truth didn't come out soon.
* * *
Snape anticipated the upcoming holidays with nothing but dread. His excited, chattering peers annoyed him; they were looking forward to idling their holidays away and if there was one thing Snape couldn't stand it was idleness.
He knew without being told that he would be spending his holidays in the Dark Lord's service, engaging in endless rounds of Muggle torture and hatching plots for murder and mayhem. Much more suited to Bellatrix's line than his.
Truthfully Snape was finding it increasingly difficult to remember what had attracted him to the Dark Lord in the first place. He had been singled out, true, but he had felt honored to be chosen. And Snape wasn't sure anymore why he had felt so privileged. Being a Death Eater was nothing more than a chore, a debt, something to be fulfilled but never enjoyed or inspired by or interested in.
Comparatively, Snape knew very little about the Death Eater's plans; next to someone like Bellatrix he was completely out of the loop. But even he knew that things were coming, big, important things. Things that would make the Mudblood attacks in November insignificant in comparison.
As one of the inner circle, Snape knew that he was expected to take part. And he also knew that he would find these tasks as distasteful as he had found everything since he'd been Marked last spring and Snape longed to feel the old inspiration.
But those times of inspiration had passed and Snape knew that never again would he be under any illusions about what it was that he did in the world.
* * *
Author's Note:
Sorry it's taken so long to post this chapter; the next one should be up a lot faster now that I have a bit more time to write. Thanks to everyone who reviewed with special thanks to James Potter09, Four Stars, bridget, Alex92, da drama queen, and a very, very special thanks to Em Starcatcher; your review literally brought tears to my eyes. Again, thanks everyone. Keep reading and reviewing!
Lily walked away from Bellatrix purposefully, still furious, James next to her and the others following. Obligingly, her knees and hands waited until she had rounded the corner before they began to shake and the residual shock set in. "I can't believe I did that," Lily said finally as they reached the main floor.
James and Sirius were regarding Lily with a mixture of awe and admiration. James put his arm round Lily with a proud expression and Sirius grinned at her as though he were just seeing her for the first time and liked what he saw.
"Well personally I'm delighted that that mad bitch finally got her comeuppance and that you were the one to give it to her," Alice spoke up, a delighted grin stealing across her face.
"Hear, hear," Frank chimed in with satisfaction. "Psychotic cow's been asking for that for ages."
"I'm only sorry I didn't take a swing," Alice added thoughtfully.
"I have to admit that was pretty impressive, Evans," Sirius was clearly amused. "Not too many people slap Bellatrix and retain their tongues to tell the tale."
"Lily!" Kathleen, Morwenna, and Dorcas had spotted them and hurried over.
"What happened?" Kathleen wanted to know.
Alice grinned at Lily and opened her mouth to begin. "You'll never believe what Lily did to that psychotic cow........."
* * *
The next day, Saturday, was the Hufflepuff-Gryffindor Quidditch match, a game that had been highly anticipated all year. The Hufflepuffs had quite a good team this year, due in large part to fifth year Beater Ludo Bagman, and stood a better chance of defeating the Gryffindors than they had in twenty or so years. Of course, the Gryffindors were determined not to allow this to happen, but it should prove to be a brilliant match anyway.
The school had shaken itself out of its sadness a bit in anticipation of the match. Of course, a few reserves had to be brought in and each side was missing a few supporters, but all in all the level of excitement was quite close to what it generally was in anticipation of a Quidditch match.
James was quite excited over the game himself; not only was this going to be an amazing game but Lily was going to be in the stands cheering him on as his girlfriend. He'd been dreaming about this since he was eleven, although most of those fantasies had involved Lily, completely overcome with awe at James' stellar Quidditch skills, jumping into James' arms and the two of them riding off into the sunset together on his broomstick. Of course, James was mature enough now to know that this wouldn't happen. It would just be silly. But James polished his broomstick just in case it did.
Besides the potential sunset-riding, James was quite excited for another reason and a bit nervous as well. There was something he wanted to talk to Lily about after the match, something that was sure to win him loads of points with her.
The Gryffindor and Hufflepuff teams left for the pitch among cheers from their respective House tables. James glanced over his shoulder at Lily one last time and winked at her. Lily rolled her eyes but smiled at him just the same, clapping along with the rest. Impulsively James dashed back round the table toward Lily. "Kiss me for luck?" James asked, putting on his most appealing expression. Blushing slightly, Lily did then shoved him off toward his waiting teammates, shaking her head at him.
Half an hour later, Lily walked down to the pitch with Alice, Kathleen, and Morwenna. Remus was in the hospital wing in anticipation of the full moon tonight and Peter was visiting him, presumably. This, combined with a cold she was fighting off, made Kathleen seem rather dejected and Lily wondered again when Remus would get round to sharing his secret with her. It was bound to become a problem eventually and from the look on Kathleen's face, eventually was soon.
The four girls settled into the Gryffindor stands, scanning the excited crowd for familiar faces. A few minutes later, the two teams took the field and Madam Hooch blew her whistle, signaling the start of the match.
As everyone had predicted, it was a very exciting game. The Hufflepuffs had discovered some new talent to go along with Ludo Bagman and were much better than any of the current Hogwarts students could remember seeing them.
James and his fellow Chasers found it harder than usual to get past the Hufflepuff Beaters and score. Gryffindor was still up by twenty points, but that lead could go at any time.
"Excellent use of the Bludgers by Ludo Bagman!" Warren Windlesham of Ravenclaw intoned as Bagman foiled yet another Gryffindor pass attempt. James blew his hair out of his eyes, frustrated. He sincerely hoped that Shepard, their new Seeker, would catch the Snitch soon. WHY did Olivia Sullivan have to pass her NEWTs last year? James raged silently. We'd have won this match by now if only Olivia had been stupid.
Shaking his head, James returned his focus to the game and he, Dorcas, and Swinton managed to score another goal, as did the Hufflepuffs, though neither goal came without a lot of effort. James was concentrating so intensely that when the Gryffindor crowd began to cheer he had no idea what had happened.
"It seems that the Gryffindor Seeker has seen the Snitch!" Windlesham exclaimed. "Hufflepuff Seeker Markham is in hot pursuit, but Maggie Shepard has a big lead."
James watched as the two Seekers dove down on the Slytherin end of the field, squinting a bit at them. Maggie did have a big lead on Markham, this was looking good.....
As the entire crowd watched, something flew up from the Slytherin stands and hit Maggie squarely in the face, throwing her off course.
"Mudblood!" Someone shouted from the crowd, and as Maggie came up, wiping her face, James realized what had hit her. Mud. Someone in the Slytherin section had thrown mud at Maggie Shepard and caused her to lose track of the Snitch.
Sirius quickly diverted one of the Bludgers toward Markham, effectively distracting him from the Snitch. Then James called a time out.
"All right, Shepard?" James called out as the team flew into a huddle.
"All right," Maggie said, but she looked a bit shaken.
"Bastards," Dorcas said, shaking her head as she handed Maggie a hankie so she could wipe the rest of the mud off of her face.
"We can't let this distract us," James said grimly. "That's exactly what whoever threw the mud wanted. We're close, and we would've won a minute ago if that wanker hadn't interfered."
"Don't let it get you down," Frank advised Maggie and Sirius and Higgins nodded emphatically.
"Oh, I won't," Maggie replied grimly. "Those Slytherin bastards would love nothing more than to see us lose and I won't let that happen."
And she didn't. It took another hour before Maggie finally caught the Snitch, an hour in which Hufflepuff scored twice more and Gryffindor once more and Sirius and Higgins were fouled twice each for "accidentally" pelting Bludgers into the Slytherin stands.
The Gryffindors and some of the Ravenclaws erupted into cheers when Madam Hooch blew her whistle and declared the Gryffindors the winners. Most of the Slytherins booed loudly, joined by a few of the Hufflepuffs, and the spectators flooded onto the field, the Gryffindors to congratulate their team, the Hufflepuffs to console theirs.
James felt a bit more satisfied than usual after this particular win; they had shown up the Slytherins who had played that filthy joke on Maggie Shepard by refusing to let it distract them. He wished he knew who had thrown that mud, but he had a fairly good idea.
Quickly James shook hands with Hufflepuff captain Ludo Bagman and after speaking briefly to Maggie, went off in search of Lily.
Scanning the crowd on the field, it took James a moment to realize that Lily was still up in the stands talking to Kathleen. Impulsively, James swung over his broom and kicked off, soaring easily up to the Gryffindor stands and landing in front of Lily.
Kathleen grinned as she caught sight of him. "I'll see you later, shall I?" she said to Lily and began to make her way down.
"Congratulations," Lily smiled her luminous smile at James.
"Thanks," James grinned back, his heart flip-flopping.
Shouldering his broom, James took Lily's hand as they made their way down the steps.
"How's Maggie?" Lily asked after a minute, her brow creasing slightly.
"Dunno," James shrugged. "She says she's ok but I'm not sure."
"Maybe we ought to go and talk to her later," Lily suggested, her brow creasing with concern.
"Right," James said, slightly nervous.
Lily and James walked in silence for a few minutes while James tried to work up the courage to ask Lily what he had been going to ask her. Oh sod it, James finally got fed up with himself. No guts, no glory. He opened his mouth.
"Er - I - er- I'm glad you can make it to Morwenna's party," James got out. Smooth. Very smooth.
"Me too," Lily's smile widened. She and James had talked about the party just last night and she was desperately excited to be going with him.
"Y'know," James continued in a would-be casual tone, "my parents go to the Marchbanks' every year, and since they'll be there and you'll be there, I thought - well - I thought maybe you could meet them," James held his breath.
"I'd love to," Lily said comfortably. She'd been prepared for this possibility by Morwenna and was actually quite looking forward to it. It should prove interesting to meet the two people who had produced James Potter.
James expelled his breath, relief washing over him. Phase one of his plan seemed to be going along swimmingly. "Brilliant," he grinned at Lily, who smiled back at him and squeezed his hand.
James allowed himself another moment of silence before going on.
"I was thinking," he began hesitantly, "since you'll be meeting my parents it seems only fair that I should meet yours. Like maybe sometime over the holidays," James paused expectantly. Silence.
"If you want, that is," he added quickly.
"Oh. That - that would be - just - brilliant," Lily's reply had come a bit too late. James looked thoroughly crestfallen. "Brilliant!" she overcompensated. "I'd LOVE it, really I would," she stressed frantically.
"Really?" James brightened.
"Oh, absolutely!" Lily gushed, wondering why she couldn't seem to stop.
"That's a relief," James put an arm round Lily's shoulders. "For a second there I thought you didn't want me to meet them."
"That's ridiculous," Lily said airily, an intense pain searing her left temple. Oh bloody, bloody hell.
* * *
Two hours later Lily managed to escape the common room party and James' holiday plans by claiming that she wanted to write to her parents immediately. Running to her dormitory like boggarts were on her tail, Lily slammed the door shut and leaned against it. "Bollocks," she said aloud.
"Something wrong, Lils?" Lily started and looked frantically round till she spotted Kathleen sitting on her bed and looking at least as bad as Lily felt.
"In a word, yes," Lily sighed and plopped down on the bed next to Kathleen's, burying her face in the pillow. Her headache had gotten steadily worse with all of the talk of afternoon tea and attaching the Evans household to the Floo network.
"Tell me about it," Kathleen suggested. "It might help me take my mind off my own problems."
"What - " Lily started to ask but Kathleen shook her head.
"You first."
Lily poured out the whole story about James suggesting she meet his parents and then suggesting that he should meet hers.
"I don't understand," Kathleen's brow furrowed. "Your parents are lovely. What's the problem?"
It's not them I'm worried about," Lily explained. "It's my stupid sister and her fat and stupid fiancé. My parents will want THEM to meet James too and then the shit will have really hit the fan."
"Oh." Kathleen had heard enough stories about Petunia to understand Lily's concern without further explanation. "That IS a problem."
"Don't I know it," Lily flopped back down on the bed, dejected.
"He'll have to meet her sooner or later though," Kathleen commented. "And it looks as though it's going to be sooner."
Both sat still, digesting this last statement. "Bollocks," Lily repeated finally.
"Looks like," Kathleen shrugged dejectedly.
"So why are you up here by yourself?" Lily asked, remembering Kathleen's problem.
"It's Remus," Kathleen sighed, looking thoroughly miserable. "I think something's wrong with him."
"Why do you say that?" Lily asked carefully, watching Kathleen.
"I went to the hospital wing a bit ago to get some Pepper-Up Potion for my cold," Kathleen explained. "And Remus was there in bed, even though he told me that he was visiting his mum this weekend. Lily, he looked awful; he was all pale and sweaty. I think something's wrong with him and I don't understand why he's lying to me about it," Kathleen was on the verge of tears.
Lily put a comforting hand on her friend's shoulder. Bollocks. Again. "Maybe you should ask Remus about it when he gets out of hospital," Lily suggested. "Tell him what you saw and then give him a chance to explain."
"I think you're right," Kathleen gave a watery smile and Lily smiled back. "Thanks, Lils. Sorry I'm not being more of a help to you."
"Don't worry about it," Lily waved it off. "I'll sort this mess out somehow. And maybe you're right. Maybe it's best to get it over with now."
* * *
Despite Kathleen's and later Alice's advice, Lily remained on tenterhooks about this meeting between her boyfriend and her family until she received her parents' reply to her letter. As she'd expected, they were enthusiastic about the idea of meeting James and agreed that the Sunday before Christmas would be best, as Petunia's wedding was the week after and they would be too busy that week to have any company.
The piece of news that relieved Lily's tension and nearly caused her to shriek with joy was the news that, unfortunately, Petunia and Vernon wouldn't be able to join them as they'd already accepted an invitation to go to Vernon's parents' home that weekend and would have to meet James at another time. Unfortunately indeed.
Without Petunia, Lily would know what it was to be part of a normal family, a family where her sister didn't hate her and fear her way of life. Lily's parents had always been extremely supportive of Lily's magic and she knew that they would treat James as kindly as they treated everyone. Maybe this wouldn't be so horrible after all.
As Lily became more receptive to the idea of meeting each other's families, James grew more and more enthusiastic about it. He was determined that it would go perfectly and threw himself secretly into Muggle research so that he would know what to say to Lily's parents and how to behave and what to expect. He intended to be a serious part of their daughter's future, and that might prove difficult if he made some sort of faux pas that shocked the Evanses into hating him.
With all of James' research and Lily's anxiety, the rest of November passed quickly and before either of them felt ready for it, December had arrived and the holidays were now only a week away.
Lily and James weren't the only ones whose nerves were on edge; Alice would be meeting Frank's mother for the first time at the Marchbanks' New Year's party and she was somewhere near a nervous breakdown.
Kathleen had asked Remus about his hospital stay and it seemed, from what Lily had gathered, that Remus had avoided the issue, making up some story about catching something from his mother and having to stay in the hospital wing. Honestly Lily couldn't determine whether Kathleen believed it or not. They were still together for now, but Lily really couldn't say how long that would last if the truth didn't come out soon.
* * *
Snape anticipated the upcoming holidays with nothing but dread. His excited, chattering peers annoyed him; they were looking forward to idling their holidays away and if there was one thing Snape couldn't stand it was idleness.
He knew without being told that he would be spending his holidays in the Dark Lord's service, engaging in endless rounds of Muggle torture and hatching plots for murder and mayhem. Much more suited to Bellatrix's line than his.
Truthfully Snape was finding it increasingly difficult to remember what had attracted him to the Dark Lord in the first place. He had been singled out, true, but he had felt honored to be chosen. And Snape wasn't sure anymore why he had felt so privileged. Being a Death Eater was nothing more than a chore, a debt, something to be fulfilled but never enjoyed or inspired by or interested in.
Comparatively, Snape knew very little about the Death Eater's plans; next to someone like Bellatrix he was completely out of the loop. But even he knew that things were coming, big, important things. Things that would make the Mudblood attacks in November insignificant in comparison.
As one of the inner circle, Snape knew that he was expected to take part. And he also knew that he would find these tasks as distasteful as he had found everything since he'd been Marked last spring and Snape longed to feel the old inspiration.
But those times of inspiration had passed and Snape knew that never again would he be under any illusions about what it was that he did in the world.
* * *
Author's Note:
Sorry it's taken so long to post this chapter; the next one should be up a lot faster now that I have a bit more time to write. Thanks to everyone who reviewed with special thanks to James Potter09, Four Stars, bridget, Alex92, da drama queen, and a very, very special thanks to Em Starcatcher; your review literally brought tears to my eyes. Again, thanks everyone. Keep reading and reviewing!