By Psychocynic
...and her younger sister SexyBod
Disclaimer: Inuyasha and it's characters do not belong to me, though everything else (including Potato Palace and the original story) belongs to me.
Some stuff I haven't mentioned before: I can chew flames, but don't be overzealous. Criticize the work, and not me, please. No, I haven't been flamed, I just want to say this beforehand. And while on the subject of reviews, can someone give me a REAL review? Not just those (but somewhat appreciated) ego-boosting short compliments of "it's funny," but real critique or suggestions on how to improve my writing. That will definitely stick to me and drive me to write faster and better.
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PSYCHOCYNIC'S BORING BLABS: Read and review! Just for you guys, this chapter is much longer than the previous three. It obviously took longer, and I'm sure few of you have to deal with AP Calc A at the tender age of 15. Oh, and by the way, I'm not trying to derogatize (is that a word?) Inuyasha by writing him as a red freak. Don't get me wrong. I love red, too.
SEXYBOD'S SEXY SPEECH: I am the sexy bod working furiously hard on this story in the background!... are you even listening to my sob sentence?!... insert desperate plea...
BOTH: We are pleased to announce that another story is in the making; Summer Snack Shop. Don't worry, it won't conflict with the writing of Potato Passion! Unlike Potato Passion (primarily written by psychocynic), Snack Shop is dominated by the sexy SexyBod. Not any less better than this! Look for it soon under SexyBod's name!
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Chapter Four
When a Man is at a Lady's House
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Back at the restaurant...
"Should we go out and take a look? I mean, maybe they got caught in the rain, and uh, drowned in the mud or something."
"Nah, that's impossible."
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At Kagome's house...
Inuyasha, who was sitting on a very squishy couch and wearing red (like usual), vigorously dried his hair with a towel, moaning continously about his ruined suit and beloved convertible, while often turning to scowl at a very meek potato peeler tiddling her thumbs.
The aforementioned tasteless red suit was now tumbling in the washing machine, along with a red polka dotted tie, dainty white gloves, red and white striped toe socks, the hoop earring that didn't fly off, two inch red leather boots, pink dress shirt, hot-lips patterned boxers and a heart-embroidered handkercheif, all belonging and unbeknownest to Inuyasha. The freaky fashion man had gone into the bathroom, stripped and tossed all the clothes into the hamper, took a 5-minute shower, hopped out, dressed in the extra clothes that he always brought along in his handy dandy suitcase (which were just as bad), stalked out, and then the little potato peeler had snuck into the bathroom, gathered up the muddy clothes, and swiftly deposited them, washable or not, into the washing machine.
After the potato-slipping, mud-splattering incident, the two Yaseishin brothers were no longer fit to attend the meeting. Sesshoumaru had suggested that Inuyasha go anyways, as being mudcaked in brown would make him look more business-like than his usual garish, odds-and-evens, monochrome red anyway, but when Inuyasha had suprisingly agreed to go as long as Sesshoumaru went also, Sesshoumaru had muttered a "never mind," him being worser off as he had started with a black suit.
Not that mud would show that much on black anyway, but it sure did on the brothers' luminescent white locks.
But as luck would have it, out of nowhere, thunder had began to clash again and the ground rumbled.
The cowardly little potato peeler had twitched.
And snapped.
And had frantically and with superdemon strength, tossed the two clay-like figurines into the back seat of the raging red convertible, and learned to drive within 5 minutes.
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The crazy girl had driven crazier than his younger brother.
She'd tossed them in the back, and he'd had to face the indignity of being tangled with Inuyasha. Well, at least it was better than the indignity of being found in mud. The people from the restaurant would have come out to check, no doubt. But it wasn't much better. He wouldn't have been in such a position if the girl hadn't dropped all her potatoes in the first place.
Stupid girl.
Stupid potato.
Later he'd have to face the raging wrath of his father and the rest of the company...
Kouga would definitely take this chance to seize both his and his brother's high positions.
And wasn't that girl an employee of the company? Stupid Kouga and his stupid idea of sending the peelers out on foot.
And what of Inuyasha and his driving? He'd get into trouble one of these days. And he, being the elder brother, would have to dig Inuyasha out of the mud.
Not to mention that the stupid girl had delivered them to her house, or shrine. Saying that she was extremely terribly horribly deeply sorry the whole entire time. Saying that it was her fault and that she wanted to do something. But he knew that those were just cover-up excuses for her embarrassing phobia of thunderstorms and primordial need to find shelter to save her own selfish hide. What she did was unforgivable anyway. In addition to all the previous injuries that she'd dealt them, she'd also crashed his brother's prized red convertible into one of the more secluded areas of the shrine (a storage room), the only comfort to the car's owner being that it was miraculously undamaged. And his indomitable pride, made to wallow in the mud. He'd charge the girl for losses and damages later, at a more suitable time.
After all, he was not an act-now-think-later type of person. Everything, and it's significance, alternatives, and possible effects, etc were analyzed and made to battle across the master chessboard of his calculating mind before his thoughts became action. And that was why he was such a successful guy.
Well, if truth be told, he didn't really want to attend the meeting being as many horny and porny women had gone as well (Sesshoumaru mentally grinned at his luck), but the mud... and his father... and the company... (Sesshoumaru's grin faded into a grimace)
But back to the girl. Hn. Did she not know the complications of having two grown men at her house? He had seen, from the size of this shrine that she lived in, and the amount of stuff in it, that she was not the only one who lived here. He'd seen the family pictures on the wall. The many pairs of shoes in the hallway, all different sizes and styles.
And when her family returned...
And if his and his brother's female stalkers found out or followed here...
There was so much to think about...
Better to just leave it for later...
Sesshoumaru let the water wash over him in warm, soothing waves of glass, shattering against his skin.
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"Did Sesshoumaru drown in the shower or something?" Inuyasha was SO glad that he had gone first. He had only taken 5 minutes to wash up, but his fucking brother had taken a fucking 50. And still going...
Kagome tried not to stare at the violently red clad man who was perched on the fat, overly-stuffed sofa (and outright ignoring her) across from her.
But, how could she not stare? He was wearing some strange, out-of-date-looking red kimono. And looked good in it. But nevertheless, strange. What was his obsession with red anyway? And that kimono looked like it belonged in a museum.
Did he, perhaps, steal it?
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---Kagome Dream Sequence--->
Inuyasha, with cloth wrapped around his head and tied under his nose, snuck into a old-clothes musuem in the dead of night, not blending in with the shadows at all in his flashy red garb.
Grabbing anything red, Inuyasha dashed outside to examine his winnings: the red kimono, a red boxer lined with lips, and a red D-cup bra that belonged to a famous woman from long ago.
Only to have strange rumors circulating throughout the city the next day, such as...
"News Flash! Warlord's kimono, playboy hot lips boxers and emdroidered D-cup bra stolen from the Antique Accessories Musuem display! All of which seem to be red! Here is a depiction of the missing items!"
"Wanted: Kimono, boxers, and bra! Reward of 1000 US Dollars. Will pay in cash."
"Newspaper Article: Strange man in strange garb spotted hours after the accident, racing down the street across from the convenience store located at the corner of Potato Palace Street! May be related to theft of Musuem lingerie and old clothes!"
And then, a very disturbing image of the younger Yaseishin brother in a D-cup bra...
---End of Kagome Dream Sequence--->
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Kagome desperately tried to banish that image.
It belonged in a porn magazine, not in her brain!
She shook her head furiously and then turned to look at the subject of her twisted thoughts.
The image of a D-cup bra seemed to superimpose itself like a transparent image over Inuyasha's chest.
It looked so wrong...
She turned her head in order to focus her sight on something else, and saw the heaping pile of red clothing on the poofy white carpet. This was the amount of extra red clothes that Inuyasha had managed to stuff in a small book-sized suitcase. The rose-colored clothes seemed to remind her again of her overactive imagination.
As if noticing what Kagome was looking at, Inuyasha drawled haughtily, "There's more red clothes in the trunk."
Inuyasha was still exceptionally furious at the potato peeler. His clashy flashy red suit! And on a more serious note, the meeting! But first and most importantly, his clashy flashy red suit!
However, being the red freak that he was, he always felt obligated whenever someone shared his love for the flashy color. In fact, he tried to get people to understand his passion (which rarely succeeded), in any way, and doing anything to achieve his goal. It was like a belief (almost a religion!), and Inuyasha was preaching the gospel, the Book of Red. Therefore he kept all sorts of red stuff around. But he never really succeeded in converting anyone. Not even his brother Sesshoumaru.
"Want one?" Inuyasha halfheartedly prompted. "I'm sure I've got some red suitable for you."
The image of a flaming red D-cup bra resurfaced in her mind's eye.
'I don't wear D-cups... I don't even wear a C...' Kagome thought.
But her thoughts were interrupted as she heard the bathroom door creak open and the elder Yaseishin brother finally stepped out...
...wearing nothing more than a towel.
Kagome quickly wrenched her face a full 180 degrees. Of course, unlike his younger brother, Sesshoumaru didn't bring any extra clothes to wear.
"Hey Inuyasha, got anything extra to wear, that's NOT a shade of red?" Sesshoumaru called out in his ultra-smooth voice as he strode into the room.
"Just look in the pile," Inuyasha muttered, bouncing off the sofa and rummaging through the pile too.
Kagome could feel her face growing steadily the color of Inuyasha's suit, which was tumbling in the washer. Why couldn't the man just ASK Inuyasha to bring the clothes to the bathroom and throw them in?!
She half-heartedly wondered why she had brought them along in the first place.
Well, it HAD been her fault. The least she could have done in her selfish escape and theft of the red convertible was to bring them out of the rain along with her.
Speaking of her wrongs... why were the brothers acting as if nothing had happened?
Had they forgiven her lowly self?
(But the truth is that Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha had temporarily forgotten her.)
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Sesshoumaru tossed articles of clothing out of the heap, still set on looking for something not red.
Kagome desperately tried not to watch. But she could still see pinpricks of movement out of the corner of her eye.
Sesshoumaru's towel slipped a fraction of an inch downward.
Kagome was slowly turning into the human tomato.
It was the kind of thing that you really didn't want to watch, but you eyes just couldn't unglue themselves from the scene.
And then, in a sudden rustling movement, Kagome could see, from the corner of her eye, something white on the ground, next to the pile of extra clothes.
'OH NO!' Kagome thought. 'The towel fell off! I'm still innocent! I'm still so innocent and young...!'
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"Hn. It's not red," Sesshoumaru commented coolly.
"You'll be disappointed," Inuyasha said, matter-of-factly.
Kagome whirled around, curious to the bursting point.
She had to see!
She had to know!
There stood Sesshoumaru, still towel-clad (to her relief but slight disappointment), pulling up from the pile a snowy white kimono loosely patterned with red. It looked sort of like the one Inuyasha was wearing.
Did Inuyasha, perhaps, steal this one too? Kagome wasn't about to get into the juicy details.
"Well, it's mostly not red. In fact, it's the least red I've ever seen on any of your clothes," Sesshoumaru muttered.
"Yeah, whatever." Inuyasha replied gruffly, looking away. He was feeling, even if it was just a little, pleased that his brother was finally wearing some red. Ever since Inuyasha took up his red religion, Sesshoumaru had held a sort of grudge against the color. He had sort-of-planned it awhile ago, by buying the damn white thing with the minimal amount of scarlet. He never thought that it would actually succeed. (Well, people will do anything for their beliefs...)
It was a sacred scene...
Kagome felt like an intruder in her own house... (but they were ignoring her anyways...)
It was the baptizing of a new believer...
The conversion of Sesshoumaru to the Religion of Red...
(it's only Kagome's wild imaginings...)
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Sesshoumaru went into the bathroom to change into the red and white kimono. He didn't have a choice anyway.
He closed the door, away from the prying eyes of the potato peeling tomato.
The towel slid smoothly off, and he slipped on the old fashioned, traditional kimono top, pulled on the white hakama (poofy pants), and tied it with a silk sash.
And then, he heard, from outside, the sound of a garage door opening...