Chapter 32 Carpe Diem
The Gryffindors' return to Hogwarts after the disastrous New Year's party was different than any other return James could remember. Before he had always sort of taken Hogwarts for granted, but now after the chaos and confusion in the outside world, it felt like some sort of sanctuary.
As James and the others entered the Great Hall for the Welcome Back feast, the buzz of conversation instantly died as every face in the room turned towards them. After a few seconds of silence, whispering filled the hall like a gust of wind as those who knew what had happened at the Marchbankses' filled in those who didn't.
Though he was used to drawing attention and generating whispering when he entered a room, James found this experience to be a bit unsettling. Why did everyone have to stare, especially at Alice and Morwenna? If they knew what had happened to them, why were they making a difficult situation worse for them?
It was a distinct relief to everyone to reach the Gryffindor table and be able to blend into the crowd a bit. But even at their own house table, people stared. James had never been so relieved in his life as he was when the buzz of conversation resumed.
* * *
After dinner, the seventh year Gryffindors more or less split up; Alice and Frank settled in one corner of the common room, talking in low, solemn voices, and Morwenna and Dorcas went off to bed, and, to the shock and disbelief of everyone, so did the Marauders, who claimed they were tired. Of course, nobody actually believed this, but the Marauders refused to give anything away and hurried up the stairs at a suspiciously eager pace for four people claiming to be turning in early.
So this left Lily and Kathleen to their own devices. Not wanting to disturb Alice and Frank, the two girls sat on the steps that led to the girls' dormitories, updating each other on the start of term gossip and wondering idly what their respective boyfriends and their mates were up to.
Summoning her courage, Lily brought the conversation round to what she had been avidly curious about ever since New Year's Eve. "So," Lily kept her tone deliberately casual, "what's the story with you and Remus?"
"We're together," Kathleen was going for noncommittal, but it was perfectly clear to anyone with eyes in their head that she was overjoyed.
"That's brilliant!" Lily was overjoyed for her friends. "What made you change your mind?"
Kathleen's face sobered a bit. "I suppose it was what we went through together when the Death Eaters attacked."
"But you were together before that!" Lily exclaimed, confused. "You were kissing at midnight and you were smiling and laughing together before that. You spent most of the party off talking together. You weren't together then?"
"No, when Remus and I went off to talk during the party, it was so that I could tell him that as much as I want to be with him I didn't think that we could be as serious as we were because I wouldn't ever know if I could trust him," Kathleen explained. "We agreed to spend the party together and I told him that I wanted to take it slow and figure out whether or not our relationship could work. But then after everything that happened with the Death Eaters, I guess I sort of realized that I love him and I'd be mad not to trust him because of something that isn't his fault and that I didn't want to take it slow because I already know that I'm in love with him."
"Wow," Lily digested this information. "Have you told him this?"
Kathleen nodded, grinning ear to ear. "I sort of blurted it out while Remus was having his arm looked after by a Healer, and Remus told me he'd pretty much known that he loved me since first year." She blushed a bit, remembering, and Lily grinned back at her.
"I'm so happy for both of you," Lily said sincerely. "You deserve to be together."
"Thanks," Kathleen's eyes twinkled. "I'm happy for us too."
* * *
"We have GOT to do SOMETHING," Sirius announced, slamming the dormitory door shut with a resounding bang.
The Marauders, at Sirius' signal, had announced to everyone that they were off to bed early, none of them knowing what this impromptu meeting was about.
"What are you on about?" Peter was plainly confused.
"I don't know about you lot, but I'm sick of the stares and whispers and the bloody state of depression everyone has fallen into since New Year's! We have to do something to liven things up round here before I bloody well go mad!" Sirius exclaimed with the air of someone getting something off his chest.
"How are we going to do that exactly, Padfoot?" James liked this idea but was still a bit skeptical about it.
Glancing over his shoulder, which James could only guess was force of habit as no one else was in the room, and leaning forward, Sirius outlined his plans in a confidential tone.
"It's too late, you have 'bloody well gone mad!'" Remus exclaimed once Sirius had finished. "We haven't got the time, never mind the materials........"
"Leave the materials to me," Sirius replied mysteriously. "All I need to know is, are you lot in or out?"
"I'm with you, mate," James stood up, his old hellion grin spreading across his face.
"Me too," Peter piped up, his watery eyes bright with anticipation. The three conspirators grinned at each other before turning expectantly toward Remus.
"Oh, all right," Remus grumbled good-naturedly. "I'm in. I just keep forgetting that hanging about with you lot means checking good judgement at the door. One of these days I'll remember that."
"Damn straight, Moony," Sirius smirked at his mate. "Nobody wants your good judgement here. Now let's get to it."
The four Marauders leaned in, aware that this was going to be a long night.
* * *
James yawned for the fourteenth time since he'd entered the Great Hall five minutes previously. He'd fallen into bed approximately one hour before breakfast was served in the Great Hall, and he'd had only a half hour of sleep before Sirius yanked him out of bed, insisting that they had to go to breakfast to keep up appearances and tomake sure everything went well. James had contemplated murder, but in the end he decided that he wanted to see everyone's reactions. Now, sitting slumped at the Gryffindor table nursing a cup of very strong coffee, James couldn't remember why he'd agreed to the prank, the getting up, any of it. He wanted nothing more than to go back to bed and sleep for the next three days.
"James?" a familiar voice pulled him out of his stupor, and with great effort James turned his head toward the source, his eyes not focusing.
"Yeah?" he managed with great effort.
"Is there any particular reason why you, Sirius, Remus, and Peter look like the walking dead?" Lily wanted to know.
"Er - no particular reason," James took another slug of coffee.
"I see." There was a pause. "Is there anything I should know?" Lily tried.
"Not really," James couldn't concentrate hard enough to put on his most innocent expression, so he just yawned again instead.
Lily tried to muster up her all-but-retired Prefect Look of Death, but when James' head dropped onto the table, she abandoned the effort as he couldn't see her anyway and turned back to Alice and Dorcas.
Approximately half an hour later, when the assembled students began to collect their things in preparation for the walk to class, Sirius poked James. Roused from slumber, James was just about to chuck the remains of his now-cold coffee at his best mate, but stopped himself when Sirius hissed "One minute."
Effectively distracted, James made a show of gathering up his own belongings, feeling as though the minute would never end.
Right on cue, snow began to drift gently from the ceiling in the Great Hall. As the ceiling reflected the weather outside, this was no great cause for concern, but when the flakes drifted down onto the tables instead of disappearing in midair, there was a general air of mild confusion, which only increased as it began to snow harder until there was a veritable blizzard swirling round inside the Great Hall, freezing the pumpkin juice in the goblets and creating snowbanks against the walls.
"I don't suppose you had anything to do with this?" Lily shouted to James above the howling wind. Snowflakes were scattered all down her length of red hair, and she was hugging herself against the cold.
"Who, me?" James shouted back as innocently as he could, putting both arms round Lily to try and help her keep warm.
"Professor Dumbledore!" someone panted. Looking round, James spotted Argus Filch, who had just come into the Great Hall. Filch looked all round him, his eyes glazing over as he took in the snow and all of the delighted students. It seemed to be more than Filch could take.
"Yes, Mr. Filch?" Dumbledore shouted back. Snow covered his pointed hat and was freezing his beard, but he was as calm and unperturbed as ever, the twinkle in his eye a bit more pronounced than usual.
"Professor - " Filch mad a visible attempt to gather his few scattered wits - "all of the corridors are fogged in, sir."
"What did you say?" Dumbledore called back. He motioned for Filch to come closer.
"Fogged. In!" Filch shouted again as he moved toward the teachers' table. "It took me half an hour to make my way here, I was beginning to think I wouldn't make it!"
After a short conference with all of the professors, Dumbledore stood and announced over the roar of the blizzard raging all round them that classes would be cancelled for the day and the Prefects would be leading everyone back to their House common rooms. Cheers erupted from the students, all of whom put on their cloaks and scarves in preparation for the journey and the Prefects and Head students made their way to the front of the room for their instructions. After receiving directions and a short lesson in Sounding Spells from Professor Flitwick in case any of them got lost in the fog and needed a foghorn, the Prefects rounded up their Houses. It took some time to put a stop to all of the snowball fights that had broken out, but eventually the four houses set out, a Prefect leading the way and bringing up the rear.
The Gryffindors, with Remus in the lead and James at the end, began to make their way back to the common room.
It was not an easy journey; the dense fog made it impossible to see even a short distance and there was rain, snow, and high winds in various places throughout the castle. Despite all of this, the students were in high spirits, overjoyed to have another day off. Even Morwenna, Alice, and the others who had lost friends or family in the New Year's attacks were looking a bit more cheerful, caught up in the impromptu madness.
As soon as they had made it back to the Gryffindor common room, Sirius began to organize a sledding expedition to the entrance hall, where, he 'had it on good authority' that at least two of the staircases were iced over and perfect for sledding.
Lily stood in the corner of the common room closest to the girls' dormitory stairs, watching the insanity with slightly disbelieving eyes.
"Want to go sledding, Lils?" Lily jumped and turned to see James leaning against the wall next to her, smirking in that tremendously self- satisfied way that had used to irritate her enough to tear out her own hair.
"What did you do?" Lily demanded, ignoring the question.
Immediately James' smirk disappeared and a rather disappointed expression crossed his face. "You don't like it?"
"Like it?" Lily was incredulous. "You created this enormous mess for your own entertainment or whatever and you ask me if I like it? Do you have any idea of the mess you've created? Poor Mr. Filch is beside himself!"
"Oh, come off it, Lily," James was impatient. "You didn't honestly just say 'poor Mr. Filch,' did you?"
"Well, ok, maybe he isn't the nicest person, but he doesn't deserve to have to clean up after this!" Lily defended herself. "Why do you always have to do these ridiculous, thoughtless things just so you can say that you've done them?"
"You think this is thoughtless?" James felt a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. "Look around us, Lils. Look at how much happier everyone is. Alice is actually laughing! And that's the first time Morwenna has smiled since it happened. This was Sirius' idea because he thought things were getting a bit too grim round here. And he was right. Everyone's been walking round like the world's come to an end, which I suppose it has for some people. We needed to be reminded that we're only seventeen years old, for Merlin's sake, and that life goes on and it won't always be horrible - " James broke off running a hand through his hair agitatedly.
"I'm going sledding," he said after a pause. "I guess I'll see you later then." James turned to go.
"Wait." James spun round and there was Lily, smiling at him. She threw her arms round his neck and kissed him, and for a moment, James was too surprised to even enjoy it. Whatever he'd been expecting Lily to do, it certainly wasn't kiss him.
"I'm sorry," Lily said finally. "I'm so sorry. You're right, everyone did need to have a bit of fun and forget about the bad stuff for a while. I'm sorry I called you thoughtless, it isn't true and I didn't mean it."
"Well, it's true most of the time," James felt a bit blindsided; frankly he wasn't used to being the one who was right in their relationship and he didn't quite know how to handle it.
Lily laughed, and James felt the pit in his stomach go away as the butterflies returned. "So - d'you want to go sledding?" James asked again, a hopeful note in his voice.
"I'd love to go sledding with you," Lily replied, putting her arm through James'.
* * *
Severus Snape could never recall having felt worse on a free day in his life.
Like in every other common room in the school, the one topic of conversation in Slytherin House was the Death Eater attacks on the Marchbankses' party, but Snape imagined that the tone of his housemates' conversation was a bit different than the other houses.'
Unable to stomach it, Snape shut himself away in his usual study room as soon as he had led his house safely to the common room. Alone, he was able to face the worries that were gnawing at him.
He had not been one of the Death Eaters present at the Marchbankses' party, and this was one of the issues that concerned him most. It had been an important appearance; very important as the Dark Lord himself had chosen to make an appearance. But Snape had not been able to reconcile with his own conscience about killing and torturing pureblood members of wizarding society, no matter how many times he attempted to convince himself that it was their own fault for sanctioning ridiculous, Mudblood-friendly politics and making powerful enemies.
And this was another issue that concerned him; as a Death Eater it was his duty to kill and torture his lord's enemies without question or hesitation. True, Snape had never relished it as so many of the others did, but he had never been squeamish about it until now. Why were his conscience and his bloody sense of morals balking now? Even though he knew it was in his own best interest to do what was expected of him, Snape hadn't been able to follow orders this time. What would this mean for him in the future, and would he even have a future? His absence could very well cost him his life, Snape was well aware. It had happened before and would doubtless happen again.
Then there was the matter of Bellatrix; she hadn't yet returned to school and Snape was concerned in spite of himself. He had no real affection for her, Bellatrix was not someone who inspired Snape's good opinion, but long years of spending a good deal of time in each other's company had caused Snape to grow used to her presence.
Not that he needed to worry; Bellatrix had far more significant allies. The Dark Lord himself had an unusual interest in her. Snape had not heard many rumors as it made him sick to hear them, but he had heard that Bellatrix had sustained wounds in the fight and was currently in hiding with the Dark Lord while he helped her to recover. If this story was true, Snape genuinely pitied whoever had injured Bellatrix; the Dark Lord had peculiarly special feelings toward her and would doubtless have a special fate in mind for her attacker.
Snape had always considered himself to be loyal to the Dark Lord's cause; he had never known any other philosophy or way of life and he had been earmarked for prestige and glory in the Dark Lord's servicvery early in life. He had never before questioned these beliefs until recently, had always taken it for granted that this was the right way to think, the only way to be.
And it was these questions that plagued Snape more than anything else. Lately he had begun to question his very way of life, his method ofthinking, and he wasn't at all sure whether he liked the answers.
More unsettling still, Snape knew he had very little time to get his loyalties in order. As a student, certain allowances were made for him but once his days at Hogwarts were over, Snape knew he would be expected to take on a full load of responsibilities and devote himself in every way to Voldemort's cause.
Disloyalty was not an option, it was death, and if Snape wanted to live, which he very much did, he needed to takehis conscience in hand and find a way to stop the infernal questions that swirled round endlessly in his head.
* * *
Sledding turned out to be fun, much as Lily didn't want to admit it to herself.
The north and east staircases were, as Sirius had promised, sheets of ice that were perfect for sledding, and nearly half of Gryffindor Tower was taking turns careening down the stairs on makeshift sleds.
Alice, who was sledding with Frank on an old cloak, was, as James had said, laughing and looked very much like her old self, especially when Sirius and Morwenna challenged Frank and Alice to a race. The four of them managed to collide en route and slid to the bottom in a tangled heap.
Lily and James, naturally, were sledding together and had managed to beat everyone who had challenged them to a race, including Sirius, whose dizzying speeds had Morwenna constantly covering her eyes. Sirius had in fact refused to accept his loss and had challenged them to three rematches, one of which he had won, and was currently attempting to convince Lily and James to go best out of five.
Eventually getting tired of Sirius' challenges, James and Lily snuck off into the fog so that Lily could see the full extent of the Marauders' weather spells.
A tornado was sweeping its way through the Potions corridor and it was monsoon season in front of the Transfiguration room. The corridor leading to Professor Flitwick's class was unbearably hot, thunder and lightning crackled in Defense Against the Dark Arts, and of course almost every space in the castle was shrouded in the densest of fog. Lily had never seen anything like it.
"You know, if you want, we could stop the spell," James offered as they stood watching the lightning storm illuminate the deserted Defense Against the Dark Arts corridor.
"How long is it supposed to take to wear off?" Lily asked thoughtfully, twirling a lock of hair round her finger.
"Er - two days," James admitted, holding his breath.
"Leave it,"Lily grinned at James. "Come on, let's go take Sirius up on his best out of five challenge."
Hand in hand, Lily and James made their way through the misty corridors back to the entrance hall. Maybe taking one day off from classes to go sledding in the corridors wouldn't fix anything, Lily reflected, but James was right. It was good to be reminded that they were still young and that life wouldn't always be cruel.
* * *
Author's Note:
I honestly can't believe I've hit the thousand review mark! Thank you SO much to everyone who has ever taken time to review my story, especially to those who have reviewed more than once. It means more to me than I can say that people are enjoying this story.
The next chapter will be up some time this weekend (provided that my muses are kind). Again, thank you to everyone for reading my story and for your feedback; I always love to hear what people's favorite parts were or what made them laugh. More Quidditch, Bellatrix's return, Snape's perspective on the attacks, and of course more Lily and James are to come. Thanks for reading!
The Gryffindors' return to Hogwarts after the disastrous New Year's party was different than any other return James could remember. Before he had always sort of taken Hogwarts for granted, but now after the chaos and confusion in the outside world, it felt like some sort of sanctuary.
As James and the others entered the Great Hall for the Welcome Back feast, the buzz of conversation instantly died as every face in the room turned towards them. After a few seconds of silence, whispering filled the hall like a gust of wind as those who knew what had happened at the Marchbankses' filled in those who didn't.
Though he was used to drawing attention and generating whispering when he entered a room, James found this experience to be a bit unsettling. Why did everyone have to stare, especially at Alice and Morwenna? If they knew what had happened to them, why were they making a difficult situation worse for them?
It was a distinct relief to everyone to reach the Gryffindor table and be able to blend into the crowd a bit. But even at their own house table, people stared. James had never been so relieved in his life as he was when the buzz of conversation resumed.
* * *
After dinner, the seventh year Gryffindors more or less split up; Alice and Frank settled in one corner of the common room, talking in low, solemn voices, and Morwenna and Dorcas went off to bed, and, to the shock and disbelief of everyone, so did the Marauders, who claimed they were tired. Of course, nobody actually believed this, but the Marauders refused to give anything away and hurried up the stairs at a suspiciously eager pace for four people claiming to be turning in early.
So this left Lily and Kathleen to their own devices. Not wanting to disturb Alice and Frank, the two girls sat on the steps that led to the girls' dormitories, updating each other on the start of term gossip and wondering idly what their respective boyfriends and their mates were up to.
Summoning her courage, Lily brought the conversation round to what she had been avidly curious about ever since New Year's Eve. "So," Lily kept her tone deliberately casual, "what's the story with you and Remus?"
"We're together," Kathleen was going for noncommittal, but it was perfectly clear to anyone with eyes in their head that she was overjoyed.
"That's brilliant!" Lily was overjoyed for her friends. "What made you change your mind?"
Kathleen's face sobered a bit. "I suppose it was what we went through together when the Death Eaters attacked."
"But you were together before that!" Lily exclaimed, confused. "You were kissing at midnight and you were smiling and laughing together before that. You spent most of the party off talking together. You weren't together then?"
"No, when Remus and I went off to talk during the party, it was so that I could tell him that as much as I want to be with him I didn't think that we could be as serious as we were because I wouldn't ever know if I could trust him," Kathleen explained. "We agreed to spend the party together and I told him that I wanted to take it slow and figure out whether or not our relationship could work. But then after everything that happened with the Death Eaters, I guess I sort of realized that I love him and I'd be mad not to trust him because of something that isn't his fault and that I didn't want to take it slow because I already know that I'm in love with him."
"Wow," Lily digested this information. "Have you told him this?"
Kathleen nodded, grinning ear to ear. "I sort of blurted it out while Remus was having his arm looked after by a Healer, and Remus told me he'd pretty much known that he loved me since first year." She blushed a bit, remembering, and Lily grinned back at her.
"I'm so happy for both of you," Lily said sincerely. "You deserve to be together."
"Thanks," Kathleen's eyes twinkled. "I'm happy for us too."
* * *
"We have GOT to do SOMETHING," Sirius announced, slamming the dormitory door shut with a resounding bang.
The Marauders, at Sirius' signal, had announced to everyone that they were off to bed early, none of them knowing what this impromptu meeting was about.
"What are you on about?" Peter was plainly confused.
"I don't know about you lot, but I'm sick of the stares and whispers and the bloody state of depression everyone has fallen into since New Year's! We have to do something to liven things up round here before I bloody well go mad!" Sirius exclaimed with the air of someone getting something off his chest.
"How are we going to do that exactly, Padfoot?" James liked this idea but was still a bit skeptical about it.
Glancing over his shoulder, which James could only guess was force of habit as no one else was in the room, and leaning forward, Sirius outlined his plans in a confidential tone.
"It's too late, you have 'bloody well gone mad!'" Remus exclaimed once Sirius had finished. "We haven't got the time, never mind the materials........"
"Leave the materials to me," Sirius replied mysteriously. "All I need to know is, are you lot in or out?"
"I'm with you, mate," James stood up, his old hellion grin spreading across his face.
"Me too," Peter piped up, his watery eyes bright with anticipation. The three conspirators grinned at each other before turning expectantly toward Remus.
"Oh, all right," Remus grumbled good-naturedly. "I'm in. I just keep forgetting that hanging about with you lot means checking good judgement at the door. One of these days I'll remember that."
"Damn straight, Moony," Sirius smirked at his mate. "Nobody wants your good judgement here. Now let's get to it."
The four Marauders leaned in, aware that this was going to be a long night.
* * *
James yawned for the fourteenth time since he'd entered the Great Hall five minutes previously. He'd fallen into bed approximately one hour before breakfast was served in the Great Hall, and he'd had only a half hour of sleep before Sirius yanked him out of bed, insisting that they had to go to breakfast to keep up appearances and tomake sure everything went well. James had contemplated murder, but in the end he decided that he wanted to see everyone's reactions. Now, sitting slumped at the Gryffindor table nursing a cup of very strong coffee, James couldn't remember why he'd agreed to the prank, the getting up, any of it. He wanted nothing more than to go back to bed and sleep for the next three days.
"James?" a familiar voice pulled him out of his stupor, and with great effort James turned his head toward the source, his eyes not focusing.
"Yeah?" he managed with great effort.
"Is there any particular reason why you, Sirius, Remus, and Peter look like the walking dead?" Lily wanted to know.
"Er - no particular reason," James took another slug of coffee.
"I see." There was a pause. "Is there anything I should know?" Lily tried.
"Not really," James couldn't concentrate hard enough to put on his most innocent expression, so he just yawned again instead.
Lily tried to muster up her all-but-retired Prefect Look of Death, but when James' head dropped onto the table, she abandoned the effort as he couldn't see her anyway and turned back to Alice and Dorcas.
Approximately half an hour later, when the assembled students began to collect their things in preparation for the walk to class, Sirius poked James. Roused from slumber, James was just about to chuck the remains of his now-cold coffee at his best mate, but stopped himself when Sirius hissed "One minute."
Effectively distracted, James made a show of gathering up his own belongings, feeling as though the minute would never end.
Right on cue, snow began to drift gently from the ceiling in the Great Hall. As the ceiling reflected the weather outside, this was no great cause for concern, but when the flakes drifted down onto the tables instead of disappearing in midair, there was a general air of mild confusion, which only increased as it began to snow harder until there was a veritable blizzard swirling round inside the Great Hall, freezing the pumpkin juice in the goblets and creating snowbanks against the walls.
"I don't suppose you had anything to do with this?" Lily shouted to James above the howling wind. Snowflakes were scattered all down her length of red hair, and she was hugging herself against the cold.
"Who, me?" James shouted back as innocently as he could, putting both arms round Lily to try and help her keep warm.
"Professor Dumbledore!" someone panted. Looking round, James spotted Argus Filch, who had just come into the Great Hall. Filch looked all round him, his eyes glazing over as he took in the snow and all of the delighted students. It seemed to be more than Filch could take.
"Yes, Mr. Filch?" Dumbledore shouted back. Snow covered his pointed hat and was freezing his beard, but he was as calm and unperturbed as ever, the twinkle in his eye a bit more pronounced than usual.
"Professor - " Filch mad a visible attempt to gather his few scattered wits - "all of the corridors are fogged in, sir."
"What did you say?" Dumbledore called back. He motioned for Filch to come closer.
"Fogged. In!" Filch shouted again as he moved toward the teachers' table. "It took me half an hour to make my way here, I was beginning to think I wouldn't make it!"
After a short conference with all of the professors, Dumbledore stood and announced over the roar of the blizzard raging all round them that classes would be cancelled for the day and the Prefects would be leading everyone back to their House common rooms. Cheers erupted from the students, all of whom put on their cloaks and scarves in preparation for the journey and the Prefects and Head students made their way to the front of the room for their instructions. After receiving directions and a short lesson in Sounding Spells from Professor Flitwick in case any of them got lost in the fog and needed a foghorn, the Prefects rounded up their Houses. It took some time to put a stop to all of the snowball fights that had broken out, but eventually the four houses set out, a Prefect leading the way and bringing up the rear.
The Gryffindors, with Remus in the lead and James at the end, began to make their way back to the common room.
It was not an easy journey; the dense fog made it impossible to see even a short distance and there was rain, snow, and high winds in various places throughout the castle. Despite all of this, the students were in high spirits, overjoyed to have another day off. Even Morwenna, Alice, and the others who had lost friends or family in the New Year's attacks were looking a bit more cheerful, caught up in the impromptu madness.
As soon as they had made it back to the Gryffindor common room, Sirius began to organize a sledding expedition to the entrance hall, where, he 'had it on good authority' that at least two of the staircases were iced over and perfect for sledding.
Lily stood in the corner of the common room closest to the girls' dormitory stairs, watching the insanity with slightly disbelieving eyes.
"Want to go sledding, Lils?" Lily jumped and turned to see James leaning against the wall next to her, smirking in that tremendously self- satisfied way that had used to irritate her enough to tear out her own hair.
"What did you do?" Lily demanded, ignoring the question.
Immediately James' smirk disappeared and a rather disappointed expression crossed his face. "You don't like it?"
"Like it?" Lily was incredulous. "You created this enormous mess for your own entertainment or whatever and you ask me if I like it? Do you have any idea of the mess you've created? Poor Mr. Filch is beside himself!"
"Oh, come off it, Lily," James was impatient. "You didn't honestly just say 'poor Mr. Filch,' did you?"
"Well, ok, maybe he isn't the nicest person, but he doesn't deserve to have to clean up after this!" Lily defended herself. "Why do you always have to do these ridiculous, thoughtless things just so you can say that you've done them?"
"You think this is thoughtless?" James felt a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. "Look around us, Lils. Look at how much happier everyone is. Alice is actually laughing! And that's the first time Morwenna has smiled since it happened. This was Sirius' idea because he thought things were getting a bit too grim round here. And he was right. Everyone's been walking round like the world's come to an end, which I suppose it has for some people. We needed to be reminded that we're only seventeen years old, for Merlin's sake, and that life goes on and it won't always be horrible - " James broke off running a hand through his hair agitatedly.
"I'm going sledding," he said after a pause. "I guess I'll see you later then." James turned to go.
"Wait." James spun round and there was Lily, smiling at him. She threw her arms round his neck and kissed him, and for a moment, James was too surprised to even enjoy it. Whatever he'd been expecting Lily to do, it certainly wasn't kiss him.
"I'm sorry," Lily said finally. "I'm so sorry. You're right, everyone did need to have a bit of fun and forget about the bad stuff for a while. I'm sorry I called you thoughtless, it isn't true and I didn't mean it."
"Well, it's true most of the time," James felt a bit blindsided; frankly he wasn't used to being the one who was right in their relationship and he didn't quite know how to handle it.
Lily laughed, and James felt the pit in his stomach go away as the butterflies returned. "So - d'you want to go sledding?" James asked again, a hopeful note in his voice.
"I'd love to go sledding with you," Lily replied, putting her arm through James'.
* * *
Severus Snape could never recall having felt worse on a free day in his life.
Like in every other common room in the school, the one topic of conversation in Slytherin House was the Death Eater attacks on the Marchbankses' party, but Snape imagined that the tone of his housemates' conversation was a bit different than the other houses.'
Unable to stomach it, Snape shut himself away in his usual study room as soon as he had led his house safely to the common room. Alone, he was able to face the worries that were gnawing at him.
He had not been one of the Death Eaters present at the Marchbankses' party, and this was one of the issues that concerned him most. It had been an important appearance; very important as the Dark Lord himself had chosen to make an appearance. But Snape had not been able to reconcile with his own conscience about killing and torturing pureblood members of wizarding society, no matter how many times he attempted to convince himself that it was their own fault for sanctioning ridiculous, Mudblood-friendly politics and making powerful enemies.
And this was another issue that concerned him; as a Death Eater it was his duty to kill and torture his lord's enemies without question or hesitation. True, Snape had never relished it as so many of the others did, but he had never been squeamish about it until now. Why were his conscience and his bloody sense of morals balking now? Even though he knew it was in his own best interest to do what was expected of him, Snape hadn't been able to follow orders this time. What would this mean for him in the future, and would he even have a future? His absence could very well cost him his life, Snape was well aware. It had happened before and would doubtless happen again.
Then there was the matter of Bellatrix; she hadn't yet returned to school and Snape was concerned in spite of himself. He had no real affection for her, Bellatrix was not someone who inspired Snape's good opinion, but long years of spending a good deal of time in each other's company had caused Snape to grow used to her presence.
Not that he needed to worry; Bellatrix had far more significant allies. The Dark Lord himself had an unusual interest in her. Snape had not heard many rumors as it made him sick to hear them, but he had heard that Bellatrix had sustained wounds in the fight and was currently in hiding with the Dark Lord while he helped her to recover. If this story was true, Snape genuinely pitied whoever had injured Bellatrix; the Dark Lord had peculiarly special feelings toward her and would doubtless have a special fate in mind for her attacker.
Snape had always considered himself to be loyal to the Dark Lord's cause; he had never known any other philosophy or way of life and he had been earmarked for prestige and glory in the Dark Lord's servicvery early in life. He had never before questioned these beliefs until recently, had always taken it for granted that this was the right way to think, the only way to be.
And it was these questions that plagued Snape more than anything else. Lately he had begun to question his very way of life, his method ofthinking, and he wasn't at all sure whether he liked the answers.
More unsettling still, Snape knew he had very little time to get his loyalties in order. As a student, certain allowances were made for him but once his days at Hogwarts were over, Snape knew he would be expected to take on a full load of responsibilities and devote himself in every way to Voldemort's cause.
Disloyalty was not an option, it was death, and if Snape wanted to live, which he very much did, he needed to takehis conscience in hand and find a way to stop the infernal questions that swirled round endlessly in his head.
* * *
Sledding turned out to be fun, much as Lily didn't want to admit it to herself.
The north and east staircases were, as Sirius had promised, sheets of ice that were perfect for sledding, and nearly half of Gryffindor Tower was taking turns careening down the stairs on makeshift sleds.
Alice, who was sledding with Frank on an old cloak, was, as James had said, laughing and looked very much like her old self, especially when Sirius and Morwenna challenged Frank and Alice to a race. The four of them managed to collide en route and slid to the bottom in a tangled heap.
Lily and James, naturally, were sledding together and had managed to beat everyone who had challenged them to a race, including Sirius, whose dizzying speeds had Morwenna constantly covering her eyes. Sirius had in fact refused to accept his loss and had challenged them to three rematches, one of which he had won, and was currently attempting to convince Lily and James to go best out of five.
Eventually getting tired of Sirius' challenges, James and Lily snuck off into the fog so that Lily could see the full extent of the Marauders' weather spells.
A tornado was sweeping its way through the Potions corridor and it was monsoon season in front of the Transfiguration room. The corridor leading to Professor Flitwick's class was unbearably hot, thunder and lightning crackled in Defense Against the Dark Arts, and of course almost every space in the castle was shrouded in the densest of fog. Lily had never seen anything like it.
"You know, if you want, we could stop the spell," James offered as they stood watching the lightning storm illuminate the deserted Defense Against the Dark Arts corridor.
"How long is it supposed to take to wear off?" Lily asked thoughtfully, twirling a lock of hair round her finger.
"Er - two days," James admitted, holding his breath.
"Leave it,"Lily grinned at James. "Come on, let's go take Sirius up on his best out of five challenge."
Hand in hand, Lily and James made their way through the misty corridors back to the entrance hall. Maybe taking one day off from classes to go sledding in the corridors wouldn't fix anything, Lily reflected, but James was right. It was good to be reminded that they were still young and that life wouldn't always be cruel.
* * *
Author's Note:
I honestly can't believe I've hit the thousand review mark! Thank you SO much to everyone who has ever taken time to review my story, especially to those who have reviewed more than once. It means more to me than I can say that people are enjoying this story.
The next chapter will be up some time this weekend (provided that my muses are kind). Again, thank you to everyone for reading my story and for your feedback; I always love to hear what people's favorite parts were or what made them laugh. More Quidditch, Bellatrix's return, Snape's perspective on the attacks, and of course more Lily and James are to come. Thanks for reading!