Chapter 35 Secrets Part I
Following Snape down the corridor, it occurred to Lily that her decision to follow a Slytherin who hated her boyfriend with a fiery passion and was known to be a friend of sorts of Lily's worst enemy probably was not the wisest decision she'd ever made in her life. But still, Lily reflected, he'd helped her that day in Knockturn Alley; if he'd really wanted her dead, he'd had the perfect opportunity then. And even if he did want to hurt her, she could take care of herself. That thought gave Lily a bit more confidence; she gripped her wand a bit more firmly and tilted her chin up to a more confident angle.
Snape came to an abrupt halt in front of a doorway Lily had seen several times on her patrols but had never explored. He muttered an incantation under his breath and flicked his wand, and the door swung open, revealing what seemed to be a storage cupboard for potion supplies. Ignoring the two unlit torches on the cupboard's walls, Snape lit the end of his wand and motioned Lily inside. After hesitating briefly, Lily lit the tip of her own wand and stepped in, deciding that she'd already come this far and might as well go along with it. Snape stepped in after her and shut the door as silently as possible, making sure that the latch was secure before turning to Lily.
"There isn't much time, so I'll ask you to listen without interruptions," Snape's pallid complexion was eerie in the flickering light, his expression grim. Lily nodded wordlessly to indicate that she understood. Needing no further encouragement, Snape spoke in the soft, urgent tones he'd been using before, as though he were afraid of being caught.
"First, I need to ask you: do you know where Dumbledore is right now?"
"Still in London, as far as I know," Lily whispered, feeling as though the bottom had dropped out of her stomach. "At a Wizengamot meeting." Professor Dumbledore had been called away the previous evening for an important Wizengamot summit, or so Professor McGonagall had said at tonight's Prefect meeting, which, now that Lily considered it, Snape had not attended.
Snape's mouth tightened, but he betrayed no other outward sign of emotion. "He Who Must Not Be Named's followers are planning an attack on that meeting," Snape informed Lily curtly "but it's only a means to an end. Their real target is Dumbledore, and this meeting is one of the few opportunities the Death Eaters have to access him, as he rarely leaves Hogwarts."
"What can I do?" Lily asked simply, her expression determined.
"There may still be time," Snape's eye blazed in his sickly face as he studied Lily appraisingly. "Listen carefully: some students in this school are leaving in an hour's time to rendezvous with others and then they will all proceed to the Ministry together. You have approximately an hour and ten minutes, perhaps less, to warn Dumbledore and the Wizengamot. If you leave now you should have adequate time."
"Wait," Lily said, trying to sound as rational as possible, "come with me to warn Dumbledore and tell him what you've just told me. We can get the Aurors and have the Death Eaters arrested; we can stop the students before they leave the castle if you'll just tell me who they – "
"No!" Snape was startled by the vehemence of his response, and so, from the look of her, was the Mudblood. "No," Snape repeated again, trying to be calm, but he couldn't keep the note of desperation out of his voice. "You CANNOT tell ANYONE what I've just told you or even that you spoke to me. I'm telling you this for only one reason: because the Death Eaters won't leave any witnesses; they'll kill Dumbledore, the other Wizengamot members, and anyone else who might chance to see them, and that would be distinctly – untidy. That reason and no other; if you think I have some sort of altruistic motive, you're mistaken." Snape paused deliberately, allowing his words to sink in.
"And I warn you," Snape continued finally, his voice deadly in its sincerity, "if you tell anyone about this conversation, I swear to you that the Death Eaters will kill me, but before they do, I will kill you."
"I won't tell anyone," Lily promised quietly. "And I know that gratitude from a Muggle born means less than nothing to you, but I want to say thank you all the same."
"Hurry," Snape had apparently ignored Lily's last sentence completely. "There isn't much time left."
Lily made her way to the door, but as her hand reached the knob, she gave into impulse and turned to face Snape again. "You know, if you're in trouble, Dumbledore might be able to help you," she said softly, not looking at Snape.
"What assistance would I require from him?" Snape's face was carefully shuttered. "I can assure you that I'm not in any sort of trouble."
It was a lie and they both knew it. "You said the Death Eaters would kill you," Lily pointed out softly, calling Snape's bluff. "That qualifies as trouble in my definition."
"It's simply a matter of loyalties," Snape had no intention of explaining the complexities of centuries to a Mudblood.
"Well, if these 'loyalties' require you to sneak around in the dead of the night and fear for your life, then maybe it's time to form new ones," Lily suggested softly. When Snape didn't reply, she turned to goonce more. "You secret's safe with me," she whispered over her shoulder. "Thank you again."
And with that, Lily was gone, leaving Snape alone in the dark.
* * *
Lily raced through corridors and up staircases as fast as her legs would carry her; she could have sworn that someone had moved Gryffindor Tower just to spite her. Finally she reached the portrait hole, gasped the password at the Fat Lady, and made her way up the stairs as quickly as she could without making any noise.
On her way to the tower, Lily had debated over whether or not she should tell James and ask for his help, but in the end the look of panic that had crossed Snape's face when she'd suggested telling someone, even Dumbledore, made her decision for her. She owed it to Snape not to tell anyone, James included. Considering the way he and Snape hated each other, there really was no telling what James would do if she told him anyway.
But it made sense to tell someone, Lily realized; if the Death Eaters caught her, someone should know where she'd gone. By the time she'd reached her dormitory, Lily had decided that the most logical person to tell would be Dorcas; Lily needed Floo powder to get to the Ministry and she knew that Dorcas had some. Also, Dorcas didn't ask too many questions as a general rule. Lily would be able to leave Snape completely out of the story.
Tiptoeing into the room, Lily made her way to Dorcas' bedside and touched her softly. When that didn't work, Lily shook her shoulder and finally resorted to whispering Dorcas' name.
"Lily! What are you doing?" Lily jumped a foot in the air and spun to see a sleepy-eyed Kathleen regarding her in bewilderment.
"I need to talk to Dorcas," Lily whispered. "I need to borrow her Floo powder. Kathleen arched an eyebrow skeptically. "It's really, REALLY important, Kathleen," Lily explained earnestly. "REALLY important."
Sighing, Kathleen pulled herself out of bed and made her way to her trunk. "Dorcas sleeps pretty soundly; just save yourself some time and borrow mine," she murmured, flourishing the jar of powder. Lily reached for it, but Kathleen pulled it away and motioned to the door.
"First, you explain," she said as soon as they were out of earshot.
* * *
Severus Snape strode as quickly as he could down the corridor without drawing attention to himself, anxious to return to the Slytherin dungeons and the safety of one of the study rooms. Ordinarily, Snape was not a fanciful person, but tonight he told himself that if he could just make it back to the study room, it would be as though he'd never left it, as though he'd never spoken to the Mudblood and betrayed everything and everyone that had always been considered significant in his life.
Snape reached his usual study room on the third floor and locked the door with a charm, leaning against it as he struggled to regain his composure enough to consider logically all that had happened over the last few days. Snape's hands shook as the enormity of his betrayal struck him anew
After several deep, calming breaths, Snape managed to put a stop to the shaking and even felt in control of himself enough to consider this latest situation.
Lestrange, deeply ambitious at any time, had seemingly become consumed by it since the New Year's Eve attacks. From what Snape had heard, Lestrange was immensely dissatisfied with his position in the Dark Lord's ranks and at the slowness with which he was rising; his role in the New Year's attacks had been much smaller than Lestrange had anticipated and, though he had made every effort to the contrary, had not managed to distinguish himself in Voldemort's eyes.
But it seemed Lestrange had finally devised a plan to win the glory he craved: he planned to kill Albus Dumbledore.
It was popular wisdom in the wizarding community, Dark circles included, that Dumbledore was the only wizard Voldemort feared and that the Dark Lord considered Dumbledore to be his greatest and most powerful adversary. Undoubtedly, the wizard who did away with him would have the Dark Lord's eternal gratitude and highest esteem, and Lestrange planned to be that wizard. Snape knew, both from rumors and from his own personal impressions, the Lestrange had been highly dissatisfied with his place in the Dark Lord's service since leaving Hogwarts. At Hogwarts, Lestrange had been the undisputed leader of the select few and had had the respect and fear of his peers. But since joining Voldemort's cause openly after leaving school, Lestrange was at the bottom rung of the ladder and was essentially little more than a lackey. This change in circumstance did not suit Lestrange, and he'd become nearly obsessed with changing it.
Snape had found out about this plan quite by accident late last night when he, unable to sleep, had ventured down to the common room where he had left a few of his textbooks earlier in the evening. As he'd approached the common room, Snape had heard whispering and had immediately drawn back into the shadows to listen.
He'd been just in time for an impromptu meeting between Bellatrix, Lestrange's brother Rabastan, Rosier, and Wilkes. Holding his breath, Snape had listened to Bellatrix outline Lestrange's plan to the others. Bellatrix had explained how they would rendezvous with other Death Eaters in Hogsmeade the next night and then they would all Apparate to the Ministry together where they would find Dumbledore in a Wizengamot meeting that Lestrange's source within the Ministry had assured him would go on for most of the night. The assembled group had agreed to meet again the next night in the burnt remains of Greenhouse 4 to confirm the plan and to receive a departure time from Bellatrix.
His classmates rose and Snape collected his wits just in time to realize they would be coming up the steps at any moment and would discover him. Soundlessly, Snape slipped round the corner, up the stairs, and into his bed before Bellatrix and the other realized something was amiss.
So Snape had made an excuse to get out of tonight's Prefect meeting and had instead slipped into Greenhouse 4 twenty minutes before the prearranged time. Securely hidden among the wreckage, Snape had eavesdropped on Bellatrix as she informed the others that they would leave at eleven and discussed some of the details with the others. Snape waited a good while after the meeting had broken up to ensure that he wouldn't be seen near the greenhouse, his thoughts in a whirl.
As Snape made his way back to the castle, he tried to persuade himself not to care, that Dumbledore meant nothing to him personally and that any concern he felt should be on the behalf of the Dark Lord's cause.
After twenty minutes or so of these attempts, Snape grudgingly accepted that his self-discipline was not what he had thought it was and admitted to himself that he was going to do something. Much as he wished it otherwise, his conscience could not reconcile with Dumbledore's murder.
The question that remained was what exactly was he going to do? He couldn't go to the Ministry and warn Dumbledore and the Wizengamot himself; he couldn't risk being tied to this situation in any way. A professor would ask too many questions and was certain to tell the wrong people, and there were no guarantees where any of his fellow Slytherins' loyalties would ultimately lie. The only option remaining was a student from another house. This too presented difficulties; Snape did not exactly have civil terms acquaintances outside of Slytherin House.
Finally Snape remembered his encounter with Lily Evans in Knockturn Alley; Evans was a Mudblood, true, but she was intelligent and capable of keeping a secret, and her loyalty to Dumbledore couldn't be questioned.
So Severus Snape had set out to find Lily Evans, hoping that since she had trusted him enough to help her out of Knockturn Alley, she would trust him enough to help him now.
* * *
Lily quickly explained the basic facts to Kathleen, who was willing to help as soon as Lily got to the part about Dumbeldore being in danger. Listening to Lily outline her plan, Kathleen didn't waste any time in pointing out Lily's one glaring problem: getting there.
"You can't actually travel by Floo powder from the common room fires," Kathleen explained. "Only your head can. We'll have to break into a professor's office for more than just your head to get to the Ministry."
Lily, thoroughly confused by this, decided not to waste time with unnecessary explanations and bow to Kathleen's superior expertise in this matter. So five minutes later, Lily and Kathleen, who was still clad in pajamas and dressing gown, stood in Professor McGonagall's office, lighting a fire and glancing over their shoulders all the while.
"I don't know how James and the others do this all the time," Lily whispered nervously, after jumping at yet another slight noise.
"Me neither," Kathleen whispered back. "I keep thinking McGonagall's going to come charging in here breathing fire and burn us both to a crisp."
"Right, everything's ready," Lily opened the jar and removed a pinch of Floo powder. "After I go, could you put an Everflame spell on the fire before you go back to Gryffindor Tower so the fire doesn't go out on me?"
"Sure," Kathleen suddenly seemed apprehensive. "Good luck, Lily."
"Thanks," Lily smiled briefly before stepping into the flames.
* * *
Lily landed with a thud in a new fireplace. Dusting herself off, she peered out into what appeared to be the Ministry's lobby. Fireplaces lined both long walls of the room and in the middle was a fountain featuring statues of a wizard, witch, elf, centaur, and goblin, all spouting water. Glancing further down the room, Lily spotted a golden gate and what appeared to be a night watchman standing in front of it. Perfect. No doubt she needed to go through it to get to wherever Dumbledore was.
Lily approached the guard apprehensively, not sure what exactly she was going to say.
"Who are you?" the guard demanded as Lily approached
"Er – "Lily couldn't string a sentence together to save her life.
"What are you doing here?".the guard tried a new tact.
"I need to see – "Lily broke off as a telltale whoosh and thud from one of the fireplaces signaled someone else's arrival. A moment later a tall, red-haired wizard in rather shabby robes stepped from the fireplace and dusted himself off before striding toward the gate.
"Evening, Ed," the tall wizard greeted the guard.
"Evening, Arthur. What keeps you out so late?" Ed the guard inquired.
"Raids." Arthur sighed, looking thoroughly exhausted. "Got a tip-off about someone selling biting geraniums to Muggles in Nottingham. I've just got to pop into the office to write up the reports before I go home."
The guard clicked his tongue sympathetically as he unlocked the gate. "When will they ever learn?"
Arthur noticed Lily then. "Hello," he said pleasantly, not indicating that he found Lily's presence unusual.
"Hi," Lily smiled back.
"She one of yours, Arthur?" Ed interrupted, eyeing Lily suspiciously. "Yours've all got red hair, haven't they?"
"No, this girl isn't one of my children," Arthur hedged, glancing again at Lily's desperate expression. "But she's – er – with me! Yes!" Arthur blurted, apparentlydeciding to help Lily. "Witness, you know, got to get her statement for the report."
"Right," Lily said importantly, shooting Arthur a look of pure gratitude. "These biting geraniums can be quite vicious."
"Humph," Ed snorted as he unlocked the gate. "I'll be seeing you, Arthur. Good evening, miss."
"Be seeing you, Ed," Arthur echoed, slightly nervous now. "My best to the family."
Lily and Arthur made their way to the lifts under Ed's watchful eye, neither of them daring to say anything. When the lift door finally opened, Lily collapsed against the wall with a sigh. That had been close.
"What floor?" Arthur asked politely.
"The second," Lily answered, having consulted the directory next to the lift.
Arthur pressed the button and extended his hand to Lily. "Arthur Weasley."
"I'm Lily Evans," Lily responded, taking Arthur's hand and offering him a dazzling smile. "Thank you so much for your help back there."
Arthur waved off her thanks. "Who are you here to see?"
"I can't tell you that," Lily replied regretfully. "You won't be here long, will you?" she asked after a moment.
"No, not long at all," Arthur seemed surprised by the question, but before he could say anything more the elevator stopped and the doors opened onto Lily's floor.
"Go home as soon as you can," Lily said as she stepped out. "Thank you again," she added as the doors closed.
* * *
Lily had to wander a bit before she finally found the Wizengamot chambers, but from there she quickly located the room where the meeting must be taking place. Lily took a deep breath and knocked on the locked door.
The room went silent and after a moment a wizard cautiously opened the door a crack. "Yes?" he inquired warily.
"I need to speak with Professor Dumbledore," Lily said. "It's urgent."
"Just a moment, please," the wizard replied tonelessly and closed the door again. It was only a moment before the door reopened, but it was the longest moment of Lily's life.
Suddenly Dumbledore was standing in the hallway in front of her. "Lily?" he asked mildly, his concern evident. "What are you doing here?"
"Professor," Lily began urgently, "I came to warn you; right now, a group of Death Eaters are coming here to kill you and the other Wizengamot members."
Lily quickly told Dumbledore everything except her source and Dumbledore asked a number of questions, most of which Lily didn't know the answer to. She'd never seen Dumbledore like this; his eyes blazed and he seemed even taller and more impressive than usual.
Dumbledore brought Lily into the conference room while he told her story to the other Wizengamot members, all of whom thanked Lily profusely for warning them and asked her hundreds of questions. Lily answered as many as she could, a bit surprised that they all seemed to be taking it so well. But then, Lily reflected, the Wizengamot members were extremely important in wizarding society; attempts on their lives by Voldemort must be fairly routine by now.
A veritable army of Aurors came to intercept the Death Eaters, surrounding the main floor, the lifts, and the second floor offices. Others escorted the Wizengamot members and any other Ministry personnel home, not taking any chances in case the Death Eaters decided to ambush them once they'd left the building.
Five Aurors, including Mad Eye Moody, were assigned to escort Professor Dumbledore and Lily back to Hogwarts. Lily was amazed by Moody's vigilance; it bordered on paranoia in her opinion. He sent three Aurors ahead of them on the Floo network to ensure that Dumbledore's office was secure, then instructed them to Floo back so they knew it was safe. Then those same Aurors Flooed ahead one more time, followed by Lily and Dumbledore with Moody and yet another Auror bringing up the rear. Lily was surprised he hadn't taken their urine samples to inspect for traces of Polyjuice Potion.
When the Aurors finally left – Dumbledore had had quite a time persuading Moody that a guard detail was unnecessary – it was nearly three o'clock. Desperate for sleep, Lily turned to Dumbeldore to say good night.
"If it's all right, I think I'll go back to Gryffindor Tower now, sir," Lily stifled a yawn. "I have to be up in a few hours."
"Of course, Lily," Dumbledore smiled at her, and Lily wondered why he didn't look tired. "Thank you again for what you did tonight. Your courage is admirable."
Lily flushed. "Er – thank you. Professor?" Lily asked after a pause.
"Yes, Lily?" Dumbledore regarded her levelly.
"I hope you understand why I can't tell you who I heard this from," Lily began hesitantly. "It's not my secret to tell, in a way."
"I quite understand," Dumbledore smiled knowingly. "Don't concern yourself with it. I believe I have some idea as to who your source is anyway, but I have every intention of respecting that individual's privacy. They found a way to warn me tonight at great personal risk; the very least I can do is help to protect them from a madman."
Quite suddenly, Dumbledore looked old and tired, and Lily wondered just how much he knew. But as she'd said before, she couldn't tell secrets that weren't hers; she could hardly expect Dumbledore to.
"Well," Lily said finally, her exhaustion taking over, "I'd best be going. It's already late, and I have to stop at Professor McGonagall's office and put out the fire I used to Floo to the Ministry."
"I will pretend that I have gone temporarily deaf and therefore did not hear that last remark," Dumbledore's eyes twinkled at her and Lily felt inordinately pleased that she'd managed to cheer him up in a way.
"Good night," Lily grinned, a rush of affection for Dumbledore filling her suddenly.
"Good night, Lily," Dumbledore answered. "Thank you again."
* * *
Lily managed somehow to get through the next day on the little sleep she had got, and the day after passed fairly uneventfully as well, Lily doing nothing more remarkable than catching up on lost sleep. She filled Kathleen in with as many details as she could and somehow she managed not to tell anyone else about her adventure.
It was on the day after that that another significant event occurred in Lily's life.
Lily and James were sitting together in the common room, Lily catching up with her neglected homework, James pretending to study while he actually read Quidditch Through the Ages for the hundredth time and thought up new Quidditch tactics to try out. The common room was deserted; it was quite late and everyone else had gone to bed, even Sirius, Remus, and Peter, who were all trying to get as much sleep as possible for the full moon the following night.
Looking up from her reading, Lily glanced over at James and almost laughed. James, his robes and hair in complete disarray, was biting the end of his quill as he drew out Quidditch maneuvers on a piece of parchment, frowning in concentration.
He doesn't have any studying he has to do, Lily realized. He just pretended that he did so that he could be with me. Lily went back to her reading, smiling inwardly as she thought of James.
As pleasant as thinking of James was, it was also very distracting, and before she knew it, Lily was sneaking another glance at her boyfriend.
Again, Lily fought the urge to laugh at his disheveled and clearly exhausted state. He looks completely ridiculous, Lily thought, but he's still adorable. And sweet. And pretty much perfect, actually.
James looked up to see Lily regarding him with an odd expression on her face. "Are you finished?" he asked, slightly confused.
"I love you."
Lily and James stared at each other, shocked at what had just come tumbling out of Lily's mouth.
"What did you say?" James managed.
"I love you," Lily repeated, her smile dazzling. It was like a huge weight had been lifted; she really did love him. Maybe she hadn't been expecting to say it, but the moment she'd said it Lily had known it was true. She really did love him and had known it for a long time now.
"I love you too," James said exuberantly, grinning so hard it was nearly painful as the flip flops in his stomach reached unparalleled levels. It was such a relief to say it out loud after holding it in for so long. And who would ever have thought that Lily Evans would love him? Or that she would say it first when he, James, had known since the age of eleven that he loved her. Lily never failed to surprise him, that was for sure.
Suddenly, Lily and James both seemed to realize that they were sitting there grinning stupidly at each other when they could be kissing instead and reached for each other, all pretenses of studying forgotten.
"How long have you known you loved me?" James asked quite a while later, he and Lily once again tangled together in their familiar armchair by the fire.
Lily rolled her eyes at his arrogance, but it wasn't precisely effective, as she couldn't stop grinning while she did it. "I don't know," she answered finally. "I just realized it just now and the words popped out before I really knew what was happening."
"Glad you did," James grinned equally as stupidly. "I mean, I've known I loved you since first year and I couldn't manage to spit it out."
"Good thing one of us has some nerve in this relationship," Lily teased.
It was James' turn to roll his eyes, but, like Lily's attempt, it wasn't really very effective.
"We should go," Lily said a bit later, snuggling closer to James even as she spoke. "This is what got us into trouble last time."
"Wait here a minute," James said, a flash of inspiration striking him. He hurried up the stairs and back with a speed that would have been remarkable if he'd stopped to think about it carrying a bundle under one arm.
Recognizing the bundle, Lily grinned and moved over to make room for James once again. When they were both finally settled, James draped his invisibility cloak over them and once again Lily and James drifted off to sleep tangled together in the armchair.
* * *.
Author's Note:
Hi, everyone, sorry it took me so long again to update. I'm still busy and don't have as much time as I used to for writing. As always, thank you to everyone who reviewed.
Following Snape down the corridor, it occurred to Lily that her decision to follow a Slytherin who hated her boyfriend with a fiery passion and was known to be a friend of sorts of Lily's worst enemy probably was not the wisest decision she'd ever made in her life. But still, Lily reflected, he'd helped her that day in Knockturn Alley; if he'd really wanted her dead, he'd had the perfect opportunity then. And even if he did want to hurt her, she could take care of herself. That thought gave Lily a bit more confidence; she gripped her wand a bit more firmly and tilted her chin up to a more confident angle.
Snape came to an abrupt halt in front of a doorway Lily had seen several times on her patrols but had never explored. He muttered an incantation under his breath and flicked his wand, and the door swung open, revealing what seemed to be a storage cupboard for potion supplies. Ignoring the two unlit torches on the cupboard's walls, Snape lit the end of his wand and motioned Lily inside. After hesitating briefly, Lily lit the tip of her own wand and stepped in, deciding that she'd already come this far and might as well go along with it. Snape stepped in after her and shut the door as silently as possible, making sure that the latch was secure before turning to Lily.
"There isn't much time, so I'll ask you to listen without interruptions," Snape's pallid complexion was eerie in the flickering light, his expression grim. Lily nodded wordlessly to indicate that she understood. Needing no further encouragement, Snape spoke in the soft, urgent tones he'd been using before, as though he were afraid of being caught.
"First, I need to ask you: do you know where Dumbledore is right now?"
"Still in London, as far as I know," Lily whispered, feeling as though the bottom had dropped out of her stomach. "At a Wizengamot meeting." Professor Dumbledore had been called away the previous evening for an important Wizengamot summit, or so Professor McGonagall had said at tonight's Prefect meeting, which, now that Lily considered it, Snape had not attended.
Snape's mouth tightened, but he betrayed no other outward sign of emotion. "He Who Must Not Be Named's followers are planning an attack on that meeting," Snape informed Lily curtly "but it's only a means to an end. Their real target is Dumbledore, and this meeting is one of the few opportunities the Death Eaters have to access him, as he rarely leaves Hogwarts."
"What can I do?" Lily asked simply, her expression determined.
"There may still be time," Snape's eye blazed in his sickly face as he studied Lily appraisingly. "Listen carefully: some students in this school are leaving in an hour's time to rendezvous with others and then they will all proceed to the Ministry together. You have approximately an hour and ten minutes, perhaps less, to warn Dumbledore and the Wizengamot. If you leave now you should have adequate time."
"Wait," Lily said, trying to sound as rational as possible, "come with me to warn Dumbledore and tell him what you've just told me. We can get the Aurors and have the Death Eaters arrested; we can stop the students before they leave the castle if you'll just tell me who they – "
"No!" Snape was startled by the vehemence of his response, and so, from the look of her, was the Mudblood. "No," Snape repeated again, trying to be calm, but he couldn't keep the note of desperation out of his voice. "You CANNOT tell ANYONE what I've just told you or even that you spoke to me. I'm telling you this for only one reason: because the Death Eaters won't leave any witnesses; they'll kill Dumbledore, the other Wizengamot members, and anyone else who might chance to see them, and that would be distinctly – untidy. That reason and no other; if you think I have some sort of altruistic motive, you're mistaken." Snape paused deliberately, allowing his words to sink in.
"And I warn you," Snape continued finally, his voice deadly in its sincerity, "if you tell anyone about this conversation, I swear to you that the Death Eaters will kill me, but before they do, I will kill you."
"I won't tell anyone," Lily promised quietly. "And I know that gratitude from a Muggle born means less than nothing to you, but I want to say thank you all the same."
"Hurry," Snape had apparently ignored Lily's last sentence completely. "There isn't much time left."
Lily made her way to the door, but as her hand reached the knob, she gave into impulse and turned to face Snape again. "You know, if you're in trouble, Dumbledore might be able to help you," she said softly, not looking at Snape.
"What assistance would I require from him?" Snape's face was carefully shuttered. "I can assure you that I'm not in any sort of trouble."
It was a lie and they both knew it. "You said the Death Eaters would kill you," Lily pointed out softly, calling Snape's bluff. "That qualifies as trouble in my definition."
"It's simply a matter of loyalties," Snape had no intention of explaining the complexities of centuries to a Mudblood.
"Well, if these 'loyalties' require you to sneak around in the dead of the night and fear for your life, then maybe it's time to form new ones," Lily suggested softly. When Snape didn't reply, she turned to goonce more. "You secret's safe with me," she whispered over her shoulder. "Thank you again."
And with that, Lily was gone, leaving Snape alone in the dark.
* * *
Lily raced through corridors and up staircases as fast as her legs would carry her; she could have sworn that someone had moved Gryffindor Tower just to spite her. Finally she reached the portrait hole, gasped the password at the Fat Lady, and made her way up the stairs as quickly as she could without making any noise.
On her way to the tower, Lily had debated over whether or not she should tell James and ask for his help, but in the end the look of panic that had crossed Snape's face when she'd suggested telling someone, even Dumbledore, made her decision for her. She owed it to Snape not to tell anyone, James included. Considering the way he and Snape hated each other, there really was no telling what James would do if she told him anyway.
But it made sense to tell someone, Lily realized; if the Death Eaters caught her, someone should know where she'd gone. By the time she'd reached her dormitory, Lily had decided that the most logical person to tell would be Dorcas; Lily needed Floo powder to get to the Ministry and she knew that Dorcas had some. Also, Dorcas didn't ask too many questions as a general rule. Lily would be able to leave Snape completely out of the story.
Tiptoeing into the room, Lily made her way to Dorcas' bedside and touched her softly. When that didn't work, Lily shook her shoulder and finally resorted to whispering Dorcas' name.
"Lily! What are you doing?" Lily jumped a foot in the air and spun to see a sleepy-eyed Kathleen regarding her in bewilderment.
"I need to talk to Dorcas," Lily whispered. "I need to borrow her Floo powder. Kathleen arched an eyebrow skeptically. "It's really, REALLY important, Kathleen," Lily explained earnestly. "REALLY important."
Sighing, Kathleen pulled herself out of bed and made her way to her trunk. "Dorcas sleeps pretty soundly; just save yourself some time and borrow mine," she murmured, flourishing the jar of powder. Lily reached for it, but Kathleen pulled it away and motioned to the door.
"First, you explain," she said as soon as they were out of earshot.
* * *
Severus Snape strode as quickly as he could down the corridor without drawing attention to himself, anxious to return to the Slytherin dungeons and the safety of one of the study rooms. Ordinarily, Snape was not a fanciful person, but tonight he told himself that if he could just make it back to the study room, it would be as though he'd never left it, as though he'd never spoken to the Mudblood and betrayed everything and everyone that had always been considered significant in his life.
Snape reached his usual study room on the third floor and locked the door with a charm, leaning against it as he struggled to regain his composure enough to consider logically all that had happened over the last few days. Snape's hands shook as the enormity of his betrayal struck him anew
After several deep, calming breaths, Snape managed to put a stop to the shaking and even felt in control of himself enough to consider this latest situation.
Lestrange, deeply ambitious at any time, had seemingly become consumed by it since the New Year's Eve attacks. From what Snape had heard, Lestrange was immensely dissatisfied with his position in the Dark Lord's ranks and at the slowness with which he was rising; his role in the New Year's attacks had been much smaller than Lestrange had anticipated and, though he had made every effort to the contrary, had not managed to distinguish himself in Voldemort's eyes.
But it seemed Lestrange had finally devised a plan to win the glory he craved: he planned to kill Albus Dumbledore.
It was popular wisdom in the wizarding community, Dark circles included, that Dumbledore was the only wizard Voldemort feared and that the Dark Lord considered Dumbledore to be his greatest and most powerful adversary. Undoubtedly, the wizard who did away with him would have the Dark Lord's eternal gratitude and highest esteem, and Lestrange planned to be that wizard. Snape knew, both from rumors and from his own personal impressions, the Lestrange had been highly dissatisfied with his place in the Dark Lord's service since leaving Hogwarts. At Hogwarts, Lestrange had been the undisputed leader of the select few and had had the respect and fear of his peers. But since joining Voldemort's cause openly after leaving school, Lestrange was at the bottom rung of the ladder and was essentially little more than a lackey. This change in circumstance did not suit Lestrange, and he'd become nearly obsessed with changing it.
Snape had found out about this plan quite by accident late last night when he, unable to sleep, had ventured down to the common room where he had left a few of his textbooks earlier in the evening. As he'd approached the common room, Snape had heard whispering and had immediately drawn back into the shadows to listen.
He'd been just in time for an impromptu meeting between Bellatrix, Lestrange's brother Rabastan, Rosier, and Wilkes. Holding his breath, Snape had listened to Bellatrix outline Lestrange's plan to the others. Bellatrix had explained how they would rendezvous with other Death Eaters in Hogsmeade the next night and then they would all Apparate to the Ministry together where they would find Dumbledore in a Wizengamot meeting that Lestrange's source within the Ministry had assured him would go on for most of the night. The assembled group had agreed to meet again the next night in the burnt remains of Greenhouse 4 to confirm the plan and to receive a departure time from Bellatrix.
His classmates rose and Snape collected his wits just in time to realize they would be coming up the steps at any moment and would discover him. Soundlessly, Snape slipped round the corner, up the stairs, and into his bed before Bellatrix and the other realized something was amiss.
So Snape had made an excuse to get out of tonight's Prefect meeting and had instead slipped into Greenhouse 4 twenty minutes before the prearranged time. Securely hidden among the wreckage, Snape had eavesdropped on Bellatrix as she informed the others that they would leave at eleven and discussed some of the details with the others. Snape waited a good while after the meeting had broken up to ensure that he wouldn't be seen near the greenhouse, his thoughts in a whirl.
As Snape made his way back to the castle, he tried to persuade himself not to care, that Dumbledore meant nothing to him personally and that any concern he felt should be on the behalf of the Dark Lord's cause.
After twenty minutes or so of these attempts, Snape grudgingly accepted that his self-discipline was not what he had thought it was and admitted to himself that he was going to do something. Much as he wished it otherwise, his conscience could not reconcile with Dumbledore's murder.
The question that remained was what exactly was he going to do? He couldn't go to the Ministry and warn Dumbledore and the Wizengamot himself; he couldn't risk being tied to this situation in any way. A professor would ask too many questions and was certain to tell the wrong people, and there were no guarantees where any of his fellow Slytherins' loyalties would ultimately lie. The only option remaining was a student from another house. This too presented difficulties; Snape did not exactly have civil terms acquaintances outside of Slytherin House.
Finally Snape remembered his encounter with Lily Evans in Knockturn Alley; Evans was a Mudblood, true, but she was intelligent and capable of keeping a secret, and her loyalty to Dumbledore couldn't be questioned.
So Severus Snape had set out to find Lily Evans, hoping that since she had trusted him enough to help her out of Knockturn Alley, she would trust him enough to help him now.
* * *
Lily quickly explained the basic facts to Kathleen, who was willing to help as soon as Lily got to the part about Dumbeldore being in danger. Listening to Lily outline her plan, Kathleen didn't waste any time in pointing out Lily's one glaring problem: getting there.
"You can't actually travel by Floo powder from the common room fires," Kathleen explained. "Only your head can. We'll have to break into a professor's office for more than just your head to get to the Ministry."
Lily, thoroughly confused by this, decided not to waste time with unnecessary explanations and bow to Kathleen's superior expertise in this matter. So five minutes later, Lily and Kathleen, who was still clad in pajamas and dressing gown, stood in Professor McGonagall's office, lighting a fire and glancing over their shoulders all the while.
"I don't know how James and the others do this all the time," Lily whispered nervously, after jumping at yet another slight noise.
"Me neither," Kathleen whispered back. "I keep thinking McGonagall's going to come charging in here breathing fire and burn us both to a crisp."
"Right, everything's ready," Lily opened the jar and removed a pinch of Floo powder. "After I go, could you put an Everflame spell on the fire before you go back to Gryffindor Tower so the fire doesn't go out on me?"
"Sure," Kathleen suddenly seemed apprehensive. "Good luck, Lily."
"Thanks," Lily smiled briefly before stepping into the flames.
* * *
Lily landed with a thud in a new fireplace. Dusting herself off, she peered out into what appeared to be the Ministry's lobby. Fireplaces lined both long walls of the room and in the middle was a fountain featuring statues of a wizard, witch, elf, centaur, and goblin, all spouting water. Glancing further down the room, Lily spotted a golden gate and what appeared to be a night watchman standing in front of it. Perfect. No doubt she needed to go through it to get to wherever Dumbledore was.
Lily approached the guard apprehensively, not sure what exactly she was going to say.
"Who are you?" the guard demanded as Lily approached
"Er – "Lily couldn't string a sentence together to save her life.
"What are you doing here?".the guard tried a new tact.
"I need to see – "Lily broke off as a telltale whoosh and thud from one of the fireplaces signaled someone else's arrival. A moment later a tall, red-haired wizard in rather shabby robes stepped from the fireplace and dusted himself off before striding toward the gate.
"Evening, Ed," the tall wizard greeted the guard.
"Evening, Arthur. What keeps you out so late?" Ed the guard inquired.
"Raids." Arthur sighed, looking thoroughly exhausted. "Got a tip-off about someone selling biting geraniums to Muggles in Nottingham. I've just got to pop into the office to write up the reports before I go home."
The guard clicked his tongue sympathetically as he unlocked the gate. "When will they ever learn?"
Arthur noticed Lily then. "Hello," he said pleasantly, not indicating that he found Lily's presence unusual.
"Hi," Lily smiled back.
"She one of yours, Arthur?" Ed interrupted, eyeing Lily suspiciously. "Yours've all got red hair, haven't they?"
"No, this girl isn't one of my children," Arthur hedged, glancing again at Lily's desperate expression. "But she's – er – with me! Yes!" Arthur blurted, apparentlydeciding to help Lily. "Witness, you know, got to get her statement for the report."
"Right," Lily said importantly, shooting Arthur a look of pure gratitude. "These biting geraniums can be quite vicious."
"Humph," Ed snorted as he unlocked the gate. "I'll be seeing you, Arthur. Good evening, miss."
"Be seeing you, Ed," Arthur echoed, slightly nervous now. "My best to the family."
Lily and Arthur made their way to the lifts under Ed's watchful eye, neither of them daring to say anything. When the lift door finally opened, Lily collapsed against the wall with a sigh. That had been close.
"What floor?" Arthur asked politely.
"The second," Lily answered, having consulted the directory next to the lift.
Arthur pressed the button and extended his hand to Lily. "Arthur Weasley."
"I'm Lily Evans," Lily responded, taking Arthur's hand and offering him a dazzling smile. "Thank you so much for your help back there."
Arthur waved off her thanks. "Who are you here to see?"
"I can't tell you that," Lily replied regretfully. "You won't be here long, will you?" she asked after a moment.
"No, not long at all," Arthur seemed surprised by the question, but before he could say anything more the elevator stopped and the doors opened onto Lily's floor.
"Go home as soon as you can," Lily said as she stepped out. "Thank you again," she added as the doors closed.
* * *
Lily had to wander a bit before she finally found the Wizengamot chambers, but from there she quickly located the room where the meeting must be taking place. Lily took a deep breath and knocked on the locked door.
The room went silent and after a moment a wizard cautiously opened the door a crack. "Yes?" he inquired warily.
"I need to speak with Professor Dumbledore," Lily said. "It's urgent."
"Just a moment, please," the wizard replied tonelessly and closed the door again. It was only a moment before the door reopened, but it was the longest moment of Lily's life.
Suddenly Dumbledore was standing in the hallway in front of her. "Lily?" he asked mildly, his concern evident. "What are you doing here?"
"Professor," Lily began urgently, "I came to warn you; right now, a group of Death Eaters are coming here to kill you and the other Wizengamot members."
Lily quickly told Dumbledore everything except her source and Dumbledore asked a number of questions, most of which Lily didn't know the answer to. She'd never seen Dumbledore like this; his eyes blazed and he seemed even taller and more impressive than usual.
Dumbledore brought Lily into the conference room while he told her story to the other Wizengamot members, all of whom thanked Lily profusely for warning them and asked her hundreds of questions. Lily answered as many as she could, a bit surprised that they all seemed to be taking it so well. But then, Lily reflected, the Wizengamot members were extremely important in wizarding society; attempts on their lives by Voldemort must be fairly routine by now.
A veritable army of Aurors came to intercept the Death Eaters, surrounding the main floor, the lifts, and the second floor offices. Others escorted the Wizengamot members and any other Ministry personnel home, not taking any chances in case the Death Eaters decided to ambush them once they'd left the building.
Five Aurors, including Mad Eye Moody, were assigned to escort Professor Dumbledore and Lily back to Hogwarts. Lily was amazed by Moody's vigilance; it bordered on paranoia in her opinion. He sent three Aurors ahead of them on the Floo network to ensure that Dumbledore's office was secure, then instructed them to Floo back so they knew it was safe. Then those same Aurors Flooed ahead one more time, followed by Lily and Dumbledore with Moody and yet another Auror bringing up the rear. Lily was surprised he hadn't taken their urine samples to inspect for traces of Polyjuice Potion.
When the Aurors finally left – Dumbledore had had quite a time persuading Moody that a guard detail was unnecessary – it was nearly three o'clock. Desperate for sleep, Lily turned to Dumbeldore to say good night.
"If it's all right, I think I'll go back to Gryffindor Tower now, sir," Lily stifled a yawn. "I have to be up in a few hours."
"Of course, Lily," Dumbledore smiled at her, and Lily wondered why he didn't look tired. "Thank you again for what you did tonight. Your courage is admirable."
Lily flushed. "Er – thank you. Professor?" Lily asked after a pause.
"Yes, Lily?" Dumbledore regarded her levelly.
"I hope you understand why I can't tell you who I heard this from," Lily began hesitantly. "It's not my secret to tell, in a way."
"I quite understand," Dumbledore smiled knowingly. "Don't concern yourself with it. I believe I have some idea as to who your source is anyway, but I have every intention of respecting that individual's privacy. They found a way to warn me tonight at great personal risk; the very least I can do is help to protect them from a madman."
Quite suddenly, Dumbledore looked old and tired, and Lily wondered just how much he knew. But as she'd said before, she couldn't tell secrets that weren't hers; she could hardly expect Dumbledore to.
"Well," Lily said finally, her exhaustion taking over, "I'd best be going. It's already late, and I have to stop at Professor McGonagall's office and put out the fire I used to Floo to the Ministry."
"I will pretend that I have gone temporarily deaf and therefore did not hear that last remark," Dumbledore's eyes twinkled at her and Lily felt inordinately pleased that she'd managed to cheer him up in a way.
"Good night," Lily grinned, a rush of affection for Dumbledore filling her suddenly.
"Good night, Lily," Dumbledore answered. "Thank you again."
* * *
Lily managed somehow to get through the next day on the little sleep she had got, and the day after passed fairly uneventfully as well, Lily doing nothing more remarkable than catching up on lost sleep. She filled Kathleen in with as many details as she could and somehow she managed not to tell anyone else about her adventure.
It was on the day after that that another significant event occurred in Lily's life.
Lily and James were sitting together in the common room, Lily catching up with her neglected homework, James pretending to study while he actually read Quidditch Through the Ages for the hundredth time and thought up new Quidditch tactics to try out. The common room was deserted; it was quite late and everyone else had gone to bed, even Sirius, Remus, and Peter, who were all trying to get as much sleep as possible for the full moon the following night.
Looking up from her reading, Lily glanced over at James and almost laughed. James, his robes and hair in complete disarray, was biting the end of his quill as he drew out Quidditch maneuvers on a piece of parchment, frowning in concentration.
He doesn't have any studying he has to do, Lily realized. He just pretended that he did so that he could be with me. Lily went back to her reading, smiling inwardly as she thought of James.
As pleasant as thinking of James was, it was also very distracting, and before she knew it, Lily was sneaking another glance at her boyfriend.
Again, Lily fought the urge to laugh at his disheveled and clearly exhausted state. He looks completely ridiculous, Lily thought, but he's still adorable. And sweet. And pretty much perfect, actually.
James looked up to see Lily regarding him with an odd expression on her face. "Are you finished?" he asked, slightly confused.
"I love you."
Lily and James stared at each other, shocked at what had just come tumbling out of Lily's mouth.
"What did you say?" James managed.
"I love you," Lily repeated, her smile dazzling. It was like a huge weight had been lifted; she really did love him. Maybe she hadn't been expecting to say it, but the moment she'd said it Lily had known it was true. She really did love him and had known it for a long time now.
"I love you too," James said exuberantly, grinning so hard it was nearly painful as the flip flops in his stomach reached unparalleled levels. It was such a relief to say it out loud after holding it in for so long. And who would ever have thought that Lily Evans would love him? Or that she would say it first when he, James, had known since the age of eleven that he loved her. Lily never failed to surprise him, that was for sure.
Suddenly, Lily and James both seemed to realize that they were sitting there grinning stupidly at each other when they could be kissing instead and reached for each other, all pretenses of studying forgotten.
"How long have you known you loved me?" James asked quite a while later, he and Lily once again tangled together in their familiar armchair by the fire.
Lily rolled her eyes at his arrogance, but it wasn't precisely effective, as she couldn't stop grinning while she did it. "I don't know," she answered finally. "I just realized it just now and the words popped out before I really knew what was happening."
"Glad you did," James grinned equally as stupidly. "I mean, I've known I loved you since first year and I couldn't manage to spit it out."
"Good thing one of us has some nerve in this relationship," Lily teased.
It was James' turn to roll his eyes, but, like Lily's attempt, it wasn't really very effective.
"We should go," Lily said a bit later, snuggling closer to James even as she spoke. "This is what got us into trouble last time."
"Wait here a minute," James said, a flash of inspiration striking him. He hurried up the stairs and back with a speed that would have been remarkable if he'd stopped to think about it carrying a bundle under one arm.
Recognizing the bundle, Lily grinned and moved over to make room for James once again. When they were both finally settled, James draped his invisibility cloak over them and once again Lily and James drifted off to sleep tangled together in the armchair.
* * *.
Author's Note:
Hi, everyone, sorry it took me so long again to update. I'm still busy and don't have as much time as I used to for writing. As always, thank you to everyone who reviewed.