TITLE: Love's Fortune
RATING: PG-13
SUMMARY: Sequel to Rescue Me/Hold Me. Sayid takes Shannon on the perfect first date, but will her desire to do something for him coupled with her lingering doubts about their relationship end their chances of happiness.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters from Lost and am not making a profit. If they were mine, then there would be more Shayid moments.
AUTHORS' NOTE: This story picks up after my two post-island fics Rescue Me/Hold Me. As always thanks to mrstater who helped clear up the vague parts and helped me to add some much needed detail.
Shannon stood wrapped in her fluffy white hotel towel surveying the array of clothing around her room. If she hadn't know that the mess was caused by her, she would have thought that a hurricane had traveled through the small room leaving clothes everywhere. She still hadn't cleaned up the clothes from her date with Sayid the day before, which was very unusual for her. She wasn't sure how long she had stayed in the shower, but like it normally did, the shower had cleared her mind.
The first thing she was going to do was to put her clothes away, then she would think about what was happening between Sayid and Nadia in his hotel room. She looked down at the clothes strewn on the floor and decided that she would place everything on the bed. Then she would start folding and hanging up her new clothes. She just wished that she had more room, there weren't enough drawers and hotels never gave enough real hangers. She thought for a moment that maybe she could ask Sayid to store some of her things, but realized that he was with Nadia, and their relationship could be over. His look of surprise at seeing Nadia had been burnt into her mind, and she wondered if her decision had been the right one. Maybe she should have stayed there to keep an eye on them. Nadia had hugged Sayid, and Shannon was still trying to figure out if it had been a friendly hug or one that would lead to more. She wasn't sure how people acted when they were just friends with a guy, and the fact that Nadia was pretty didn't ease her mind. She ran the scene over and over again, and still couldn't find any answers.
As she picked up a turquoise skirt from the chair, her attention fell on her ring. A ring that he had bought to promise her that he would be there for her, always. Sayid would never do anything to hurt her. He had made that clear to her so many times, yet she was still afraid. Her heart had been trampled on so many times that a part of her stood on pins and needles waiting for him to break her. She touched the ring, tears springing to her eyes. Why couldn't she just trust him? He had gone out of his way to buy this ring for her and create a magical first date. What else did she need him to do? On the island, Sayid had told her numerous times that what he felt for Nadia wasn't romantic love, and she had always believed him. He had no reason to lie to her. But what if the pull of the past, of what he had been searching for, was too great even for Sayid?
Before she could confuse herself anymore, she noticed an envelope had been slipped under her door. Her heart started pounding as she tugged her towel tighter. Would Sayid have slipped a note under her door to say goodbye? Her lip quivered as she carefully walked closer to it. She bent down and picked it up. She held it away from her as if it was a bomb. She crinkled her nose at the handwriting; it didn't look like it belonged to Sayid. Carefully, she opened it, and pulled out a folded piece of paper. She gasped as she opened it. On the top was the letterhead of Carlyle Wedding Company. Her hands shook as she started to read.
"Dear Shannon: I know you'll find it hard to believe but I've been tracking you in the news. The fact that I'm relieved you're alive, I know will be a bigger shock. I can't remember a time when I've seen you as happy as you have been in the pictures and news clips that I've watched. I know that we didn't part on very good terms, but I couldn't let the fact that you're alive and well pass without doing something. I realize you may not be ready to talk, and maybe the damage between us is irreparable. I hope that I'll hear from you when you are ready."
It was simply signed Sabrina. Shannon was shocked that her stepmother would reach out to her like this. The fact that it was hand written showed that Sabrina had put some thought into the letter, although it still contained an air of formality that she had always maintained. It seemed like such a simple letter, so Shannon reread it looking for any hidden insults or subtle disappointment. When she didn't find any, she was even more surprised. Her last meeting with Sabrina had been an enormous fight, with harsh words exchanged on both sides. They had been fighting about Shannon's decision to stay in Paris and get married. Sabrina of course wanted her to come home and forget all about it, which made Shannon even more adamant that she got married. The conversation had ended with Shannon yelling that she hated Sabrina and wished that she had never met her. She had hung up before Sabrina could answer, and they hadn't spoken more than five words since then. Would they ever be able to fix that? Shannon didn't know, and she wasn't even sure if she wanted to. She thought briefly of all the pain she had suffered growing up, and wondered if she would be strong enough to survive it again.
She skimmed the letter one more time, and she realized that Sabrina was right about one thing, Shannon was much happier now, than she had ever been before the plane crash. Sayid had played a large part in creating that happiness for her. At first she had depended solely on him to keep her happy, she admitted to herself. But that had slowly changed, and she began to feel happiest when she was making him happy, which was a huge change for her. Sayid's love and support had opened Shannon up in a way she never could have imagined before.
Shannon suddenly realized that she was ready to take the next step with Sayid. That she had been ready for a long time but had been letting her fears control her life. She couldn't believe that a letter from Sabrina was the wake up call that she needed. She finally knew she was ready to fall, and find out if Sayid would catch her. She needed to talk to Sayid. She wasn't going to let him choose Nadia without fighting for him.
She glanced around the room at the mess of clothes and was tempted to just wear whatever she picked out first. However, when she picked out a striped shirt and a floral skirt she abandoned that plan. She knew that if she was going to find the right outfit that she needed first to clean everything up. With a deep sigh, she began to pick the clothing off the floor, dropping it on the bed with the rest of her stuff. As she picked up a shirt to fold, there was a knock at the door.
Tossing the shirt back on the bed, she stalked over to the door, annoyed that someone was interrupting her moment of clarity. As she yanked the door open, she was surprised to find Sayid standing there. She could tell by the way he adverted his eyes, that he was surprised to find her in nothing but her towel. It wasn't her fault that she hadn't gotten dressed yet; she had many things to work through first.
She motioned for him to come in, tightening her towel.
Looking down at the floor, he muttered, "I will let you get dressed."
She thought about getting dressed, but she enjoyed the fact that the knowledge that she was naked underneath clearly was getting to him. She hoped that maybe it would give her an advantage when they started talking.
They stood for a moment, neither sure what they were supposed to do or say. Shannon wanted to just blurt out that she loved him and was ready to take the next step in their relationship, but she refused until she knew where he stood with Nadia.
Realizing that she wasn't going to change clothes, he reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Thank you," he said softly. "I never would have contacted Nadia, and you knew that it was something I needed."
She chewed on her lip, suddenly nervous. "How did it go?"
Sayid moved to sit down on the bed, but frowned when he saw the clothes piled on it. He picked up the shirt she had been holding when he knocked, and began to fold it. Shannon suppressed a grin at the fact that he was folding it exactly as she had demonstrated to him on the island. She never understood how he could just throw his stuff into his bags. She moved to stand next to him and began folding clothes as she waited for him to talk.
"Nadia has been married for four years to a lawyer named Kamali. She has two children, a three year old daughter, Kamila, and an eighteen month old son, Rashid." He picked up another piece of clothing. "She wants us both to come to dinner and meet them all."
Shannon had to admit that she was relieved to hear that Nadia had gotten married and had a family. The woman that Sayid had told her about didn't seem like she would be one who would try to steal another woman's boyfriend.
"I'm glad that it went well. I was a little worried," she admitted.
"Why?"
She hesitated, should she really tell him what she was thinking? Did she really want to hurt him?
"I was afraid that she would bring up some painful memories."
He placed the half-folded shirt back on the bed, and turned to look at her. "It did remind me of the man I was then. I was a person that I hope never to become again, and I doubt I will because I have you to keep me in line."
She rolled her eyes. Sayid always said that to her, and she never really believed him. She had such a difficult time wrapping her mind around his past as a soldier. The man that she knew and loved never would be able to do the acts that he admitted to her he had committed. At the time a part of her had thought he was making it up because he thought it would push her away, but the intensity of guilt and pain in his eyes, had told her it was the truth.
Sayid's attention was on the shirt he was trying to fold, but she knew that his mind was elsewhere. When he spoke, he kept his eyes down on the bed.
"She thanked me," he whispered, his voice breaking. "She said that she would not have found her husband or have her children if I had not done what I did. I spend years searching for her to apologize, and the first thing she said was thank you."
"Not many people would do what you did for her."
They both reached for the same shirt, and Shannon intertwined her fingers with his instead.
"I know what it took for you to call her, Shannon, and I do appreciate it." He placed his fingers under her chin to force her to look at him. His eyes were shining with love and understanding. "That was why you seemed nervous this morning."
She nodded. "I know it was stupid, but I was afraid you would realize you'd rather have her." She placed a finger against his lips to silence his protests. "But I'm over that now. Let me show you."
She pushed lightly on his shoulders so he would sit down on the bed. She didn't even care that he was sitting on her new clothes. She leaned forward and captured his lips with hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled herself close. Dissatisfied with the lack of contact, straddled him, feeling her towel hike up around her.
She felt the sharp intake of his breath as he ran his hands over her thighs.
Breathing heavily, he asked her if she wanted to stop.
She thought it was cruel to tease him, and decided that he needed to know that she was ready.
She moved slightly so she could kiss his jaw, and then focused her attention on his neck. She sat back slightly, as she ran her fingers through his hair.
"I'm ready," she said softly, as she slowly undid her towel.
She was surprised that she wasn't nervous anymore. She knew without a doubt that this was the right decision.
His eyes swept over her body, darkening first with desire, and then filling with barely restrained anticipation.
"Are you sure?" he asked.
She thought for a second, she wanted to know without a doubt that she was ready for this step. It was the first time anyone had cared enough to make sure that she was ready. As she looked into his eyes, she knew that everything would be okay, and that she could trust him. She felt that she knew that this was what she wanted, unlike other times when she had been with other guys. She wanted to move their relationship forward.
"More sure than I've ever been."
Shannon pushed gently on his shoulder to push him back on the bed.
As her hands traveled down to remove his shirt, she knew that tonight would meet all her hopes and expectations.
TBC...