Title: An Unforgettable Night
Rating: R
Pairings (if any): DM/LV
Author's Notes: Written for 30minutefics, challenge #86: Voldemort is SLASH along with Het.

Disclaimer: Not my characters, no harm done, no money made. All characters are owned by the great JKR, I just had to mess around with the sanity of a few of 'em.

He yawned and shifted in his sleep. He was awake enough, though, to notice that the usually chaotic dorm was silent. Not a snore nor the running of male feet could be heard. Something was wrong. He opened his eyes and rolled over to look at his alarm clock. It read 12:46 p.m.

He also had a massive headache.

"Bloody hell." he mumbled as he shot out of bed to get dressed. Suddenly he stopped before the bureau.

He was already fully clothed in the Slytherin uniform and black robes, although they were a bit wrinkled.

"This can't be right..." He said to himself as he stared at the floor.

But ,right or not, already half the day had been wasting away while he was sleeping. If he remembered correctly he was supposed to be in double Herbology with the Gryffindors right now. And everyone knew Professor Sprout was never one to accept tardiness, even if you had a good excuse. 'There goes twenty points out the window.'

He sighed and sauntered towards the staircase leading down to the common room. 'What an odd day this has been.' Just before he had woken up he had been having a weird dream. But what about? All he could remember was a girl screaming in blackness and then the sound faded away. 'Perhaps it was just some sort of kinky bondage dream... No worries... But it couldn't have been that kind of a dream, no, there was a strong feeling of angst involved. You don't get angsty when you're banging someone. Then what the hell was it about? Was it some sort of a-'

He stopped on the last step- foot in midair. The common room was filled with the whole of Slytherin House. He recognized almost all of them, and none of them were talking.

'What the hell?' clanged through his mind as he looked at all the motionless faces, faces that all looked as if they were waiting for something. But what? His question was soon answered as he heard a dull wail off in the distance that slowly got louder. Someone was walking down the corridor and crying very loudly.

Almost everyone, including himself, looked up at the common room entrance opened and the source of the noise was revealed. Pansy Parkinson was balling her eyes out ,loudly, as she walked towards one of the hard green couches by the fire. Someone ,he didn't know who, got up so she could sit down, and then patted her shoulders.

'What the hell is she doing?' he thought, and then, 'Damned attention whore. She probably got a pimple or something.'

Since no one had noticed him yet, and if they did they hadn't said anything, he decided to make his presence known. He was the leader of the Slytherin House after all. Actually, no, he wasn't the leader, as that was Professor Snape's position... He was more the... Second in command? Yes, that's it.

He then decided to make his presence known, as he was basically the second in command of the Slytherin House after all.

"I am awake with a headache, and quite hungry." he said loudly, "If anyone wants to fetch me some lunch and a pain reliever potion, I might thank them."

A few forlorn faces glanced up at him, but other then that no one moved. Except for that bitch Pansy, of course, as her body was no shaking with the force of the sobs she was letting loose.

Well, it wasn't quite the response he had been expecting. Perhaps today was just one of those off days.

Louder this time, "I am hungry and have a headache. Anyone want to satisfy my needs?"

This time he wasn't even given the brief comfort of a brief glance, this time there wasn't any reaction to his voice at all. 'I suppose they can't hear me, as that bitch's sobs are drowning me out...'

He cleared his throat, "I AM HUNGRY. I HAVE A HEADACHE. ANYONE WANT TO HELP?"

Some bastard he didn't know yelled out, "Draco will you shut the bloody hell up?"

'Like bloody hell I will', he thought as he stepped down onto the common room floor.

"HUNGRY. HEADACHE. ANYONE?" he said in what may hold the record, even now, as the loudest thing ever uttered by a single Malfoy.

"SHUT UP!" was his only answer.

'Damn them all... Now my headache is even worse after all that needless yelling...'

OK, so this obviously wasn't working out like he had expected it to... Maybe he should try a new approach...

Slowly he moved in the general direction of the common room fire. He stopped shuffling when he was a few inched from one of the green arms of the couch.

"So..." he said in what he hoped was a soothing-nice-Draco voice and not an irritated-headache-induced-Draco voice, "Does anyone know why Pansy is crying?"

It was at this particular moment that Pansy realized Draco was standing in her vicinity.

With a shaking but nonetheless very accusing finger, she pointed at him and sobbed, "You. Draco."

He smiled a small-barely-there-smile, "Yes, I am indeed the Draco you speak of... Now, why exactly are you crying?"

She mumbled something that vaguely sounded like 'idiot troll', which was obviously not right as he was definitely not an idiot.

Oh, and he was definitely not a troll, either... So what exactly was she mumbling about?

"What did you say, love?" he said in a comforting voice that Malfoys use only under extreme circumstances.

Her only reply was a wail as she buried her face in her hands with the manicured fingernails that he loved, as when she slowly dragged them over his back it felt like a pleasure induced euphoria mixed with a bit of heaven and he could never help moaning with abandon as she the moved them towards his...

'Ye Gods, am I really thinking about sex at a time like this? Draco you stupid prat, that can wait till later... Right now all you have to do is comfort the poor bitch and then everything will be all right...'

He glared at the bitch who had held, up to this point, the job of patting Pansy's back. After the poor soul moved out of his way, he then started to slowly massage her shuddering shoulders. His headache was getting worse by the second, but right now he just had to ignore it, as he didn't feel like causing a scene and breaking up with the bitch. Plus sex was always a good stand-by when he felt tense, and he wasn't in the mood to go find another easily-fuckable Slytherin body.

"Pansy, love, what is the matter?"

She sniffed a bit, and for a moment seemed to regain her composure, "Drcao... Please, just leave me alone right now... I-I don't think I can ever forgive you for w-what you d-d-d-d"

A new wave of sobs broke her composure, and Draco slowly stepped away from her.

'What is she talking about? What exactly was it that I did that she can't forgive me for? I don't remember doing anything naughty that she could have found out about...'

Since she didn't seem like she wanted to answer his questions, he turned to the watching audience, "Does anyone know what she is going on about?"

Everyone turned to look at him when he spoke. Their faces remained emotionless when he finished, and not one of them bothered to answer his simple question.

"Anyone?" he tried again, a note of despair crept into his otherwise demanding voice.

"You bastard." a short boy said as he gestured towards Pansy, "How can you do this to her? After what you did, I thought you were just a sick perverted freak... But now? Now I know the truth."

"Truth?" Draco squeaked.

"Yeah, and it is that you're a monster."

"Wha?" Draco said in a voice barely above a whisper.

'Ohmygodwhatthehellishetalkingabout?'

"I...I uh... I don't understand what you mean..." Draco tried again.

"Yeah, well I didn't expect you would."

"No! I mean I don't understand what you people are going on about!" Draco said in what was only a worthless attempt at establishing his innocence, "I haven't a clue what you people mean!"

He didn't want to, but he started to shake a bit. All eyes were on him, and it looked like each of them wanted to commit murder. A tear leaked out of one of his eyes, and before he could spare any more embarrassment, he fled up the stairs to his room.

'What are they talking about? I didn't do anything? Why do they hate me? What is wrong with them? Why do they suddenly hate-

OH MY GOD.'

As he stepped into the doorway of his room, Draco could only gape at the scene before him.

The sheets of his bed were a mess, and there were stains all over them which were from -he could only guess- the over turned bottles of firewhiskey that littered the bed and surrounding floor. The trunk under his bed that he had, up until that point kept locked and hidden, was pulled out and opened for the world to see and gossip what Draco Malfoy's fetish was. The menagerie of items that had previously inhabited the wooden trunk were now littered all over the floor and in what may have been a freak accident- shoved down the Dark Lord's throat.

The pale lizard-like corpse of the Dark Lord was sprawled on the bare floor of Draco's room in what all little children recognize as the position you take when you are about to make a snow angel. His body was nude, except for a few assorted leather items that were mainly around his life-less cock and decidedly dead head.

Draco had always fantasized about involving his wand (the wooden one not the flesh one) in a few choice sexual escapades that he had never dreamed anyone sane would try... Apparently last night was the night that he had tried what was to be his last best and worst sexual encounter ever.

In what was probably an alcohol induced decision, Draco Malfoy had rammed his school wand down the Dark Lord's throat and into the future front page of The Daily Prophet as well.