A/N: This was a drabble challenge on the "As the Stargate Turns" page The sentence was "A man can tell a thousand lies" but this was what I came up with. It takes place during Chimera and all the way through Threads So spoiler warning is attached. This is in Sam's POV Feedback would be lovely! Makes me all tingly inside LOL Enjoy!
The Lies We Tell
A man can tell a thousand lies.
A woman can tell a thousand more.
She knows that this is the truth, since she was the teller of the lies that almost ruined her life.
She smiles at the compliments she hears as he gives her the attention she craves, the whole "normal" act of being loved. He tells her she's perfect.
She smiles and the first of many lies start.
He says he's lucky, she shakes her head and says no, that it is her that is lucky.
He goes out of his way to do things for her and she tells him she appreciates his help, support, and love, but that he shouldn't have gone out of his way to come see her that night.
She had wanted to be alone, but the look on his face and the thought that he would have to drive all the way back was the deciding factor.
So he stayed.
She smiles as another lie slips through her lips. Telling him she is happy to see him and wished they could spend more time together, as she pulls him into the house and lets him kiss her.
He grabs her and holds her close. She closes her eyes and tries to feel something for this man who has professed his love for her.
But all she can do is lie and tell him she loves him too.
She makes the effort of making sure he hears what he wants to hear. But her heart is not really in this charade. She has known for some time that she could not commit to him, but her lies have buried her deeper into this "normal relationship". She understands why some women stay with men they do not love. The fear of being alone and the stigma of not having someone love them is more than enough to keep the lies coming.
She knows she is using him. She had to see for herself that normal was not all that it was cracked up to be. She had given herself a time limit of two weeks and she had to admit that for all those two weeks of basking in all the attention he gave her was something she had craved, in reality, it was stifling her.
She had not given in to the temptation of sex, but he had wormed his way into her heart and had shown he was a good man.
She gave in and the lies continued.
Assuring him that it was beautiful, that all her needs were taken care of.
He did not see her cry as he slept with one arm possessively around her waist.
She needed to get out before it was too late.
The next morning came 'the talk'. He wanted to know the secrets she was carrying. Why could she not talk of work, why could she not tell him what she did?
She knew she could not say anything and didn't. She would not risk national security just to make him happy. He left in anger and she was half relieved, half full of dread, wondering if her lies had caused yet another man to leave her.
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The lies she told her heart when she saw the man she loved were the biggest lies.
In the elevator, she stood next to him and hummed.
His brief look of panic and awareness tore at her. She was mortified. She had broadcast that she had moved on, when she had not wanted him to find out about her indiscretion.
He hid his shock and lied to her, telling her that it was great.
That it was alright.
She knew that she had hurt him, but she had to know if what she felt for him was real, that it was not another lie that had become bigger than both of them.
So she did not reassure him.
She had to continue the charade when the other man had followed her and her team. He had almost died in her arms and the panic of the thought that she had killed another of her many admirers made her say the things she knew were the lies he wanted to hear.
The trouble was he was not the only one that heard her.
Her colonel had been upset when he had seen her cradling this man that he thought had replaced him. He turned, asked for assistance and had even gotten this man clearance to find out what she did in the mountain, so many floors down.
The other man thought she was lying to him when she explained the stargate and what she did. He finally realized that it was the truth. If he only knew these were the only truths she had ever spouted to him.
If only.
He deserved better, but had changed her mind when the true lover of her heart came and showed her what the man she had let through her defenses did.
He had done a background check on her. This angered the colonel but it did not surprise her. Pete was not a stupid man. He had to know she had been lying to him, so he did what came naturally for him. He had gone looking for answers and had found none.
Her files were as full of lies as the conversations she had with him.
She hears the warning her colonel gives her and she says that she is not a child. That she will deal with him in her own way.
It is not the answer he wants to hear. She can tell by the way he loses his temper. She tries not to lie to him but they come easily after all their time together, yet forever apart.
She has learned that "little white lies" are just as bad as the huge ones. They say you tell these so you won't hurt someone's feelings, but still the results are the same and before you know it the many little lies are barely covering bigger ones.
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She is in shock and no lies come out of her mouth when he shows her the ring and asks her to be his wife.
The lies have come to this.
She has gotten herself into a no win situation.
She knows the truth. Her heart knows the truth. Hell the whole universe knows the truth, but no one will speak it.
They lie to her and say she is lucky to have such a great guy. They lie when they say they are happy that she has finally gotten a life. She knows they lie when they ask when the big day is in bright tones. She knows they can not be happy for her. She is marrying the wrong man.
He lies when she shows him the ring and he says he is happy for her.
The ring that will take her away from him, the same ring that now binds her to the man she has trapped in her web of lies.
She lies to get out of a dress fitting. She lies to get out of making arrangements.
She can not lie anymore when she introduces him to her father and sees that he is so wrong for her.
She cringes to hear him ask her father stupid questions.
She waits to defend him and to lie to her father and tell him she is happy.
The lies are drowning her now. She sees the result of her lies when he takes her to their new home. Hell, even the description of the house she always wanted was a lie. She hated yellow and to have a kitchen painted that color? Oh and a dog. She remembers telling him she loved dogs, but in truth she was a cat person.
She pastes on a smile and lies through the whole tour of the house. He is happy and she doesn't know how to tell him that this is all wrong.
The phone rings and it is a wrong number, but she lies and says she is needed back at base. He says that is fine and he will go to the flower shop to pick out the flowers.
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She is in front of the house of the man of her heart. This is the type of house she liked.
So rustic.
So him.
She sees smoke and knows he is home.
She is tired of the lies.
She will bare her soul and tell him the truth that lies within her.
She goes to the backyard and he is there. Her heart swells with her true feelings.
She can not lie anymore. She knows she loves him, but can he ever love her again?
She stumbles over her words whilst he waits to see what she will say.
He looks uncomfortable and she thinks that maybe she is too late. She blurts out that her fiancé has bought a house and he answers that he is happy for her.
This is not what she had wanted to hear from him.
She decides it is now or never, tells him that the wedding is a big mistake.
His eyes stare into her and she sees a glimmer of hope. She is about to profess her love when a female voice comes from behind her.
She is abruptly, horribly stopped from making an even bigger fool of her self.
She should have known he would move on, but still the pain is sudden and deep and raw.
All the lies she has told have driven the man she would love always away.
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She can not lie to him.
She is by his side and wondering how it had come to this.
Her father had lied to her.
Telling her he was well, when he was dying.
His excuse was he did not want to disturb her plans for her sham of a wedding to a man she could not love.
Her lies had cost her her father.
She had wanted him to die in peace. She had wanted him to think she was happy, even though deep down inside she was dying herself. Her dreams had been shattered. Her life had turned upside down and she had no one to blame but herself.
The man she loved had moved on with a beautiful, younger woman, one she knew could love him freely and one that would not lie to him.
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Her father wants her to be happy and she lies and says she is that this is what she wants. He stares at her and she thinks she has been caught in her web of lies.
He tells her it's not too late to be happy, that she can have every thing she wants.
He doesn't know.
Or does he?
She has been lying to herself and those around her about her love for the General. Was she so transparent that they all knew and were now laughing at her behind her back?
Now that he had moved on, taking a page out of her own book.
She tells him she loves Pete and will marry him.
That she is happy
He sighs and turns away, as tired of her lies as she is.
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She sits and watches her father from afar. Contemplating his words over and over again and knowing what she has to do. Knowing she could no longer lie and hurt the ones around her.
He comes to her and sits next to her.
She has nothing left to lie to him about.
She is simply tired of the whole situation.
She is tired of the dance they perform around one another. She is going to bare her heart, make it vulnerable, but it is pointless, since you can't break what is already broken.
She is at peace when he asks her if she is well. She doesn't lie to him; she even says she is 'good'.
She lets him in on a secret that no one knows. That she and her dad have never gotten along better then they had in these last 4 years. She tells him he should have been dead 4 years ago, but was grateful for having this time to finally get to know her real father.
She looks over to him and sees the surprise and gratitude coming from him. That she had let him in to tell him this truth might be enough to fix the damage she has caused.
She holds her breath, just wishing that he would kiss her. Instead he tells her to, "C'mere," and she melts into him, taking in his warmth. Feeling like she could stay like this forever. She had never had this feeling for Pete and knew he could never replace this man in her heart or her soul.
They were meant to be one and she would fight anyone that would try and take him from her.
She takes his hand and rubs her thumb against it. It is so soothing to her.
He had to know what he did to her.
She tells him thank you. She leaves the rest unspoken. Thank you for not hating me. Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for being here now. Thank you for showing me what love really is?
He asks her for what and waits to see what she will say.
She doesn't want to scare him, so says for being there for her.
He pulls her close and whispers to her softly.
"Always."
Always, one word that spoke volumes and made her decision on what she would do.
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She is there when her father takes his last breath.
She looks at him and he recognizes something and smiles. He knows she will be happy, that she has stopped lying and will get her happy ending.
His own happy ending, in an odd way.
He whispers he that he loves her and she knows this to be true.
He passes, yet through her grief, she becomes sure.
She will follow her heart and the lies will no longer hold her back.
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She tells the man that says he loves her more than life itself that she can not marry him.
He knew but said she was worth the risk. If he only knew she had lied about almost everything in their so called relationship.
God, if only.
He had thought that she would have eventually fallen for him, but she couldn't hurt him any longer.
He says that he hopes she gets what she wants.
She is in shock.
That he could just walk away, so calmly.
She blurts her question out, asking if that was it.
He gets angry, then the tears that were threatening to fall are replaced with rage.
He asks her, what does she want from him? To beg for her to take him back?
She says no.
He walks out of her life with barely more than a whimper and a whispered goodbye.
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She is sitting next to him at his cabin.
Him.
He extended the invitation to her and the guys to get away from all the troubles of home.
She drives up with him and finally bares her soul. He listens and is not judgmental, something she is grateful for.
He tells her that it is in the past and it will stay in the past.
That he was not entirely innocent in this "dance" that they had conducted for so very long and had lied countless times, both to himself and to her.
They decided to start afresh.
No lies to tell.
Only truth and trust.
She looks over to him and says that they should have done this years ago.
He looks at her and tells her not to dwell.
She will not dwell.
She has a new lease on life and he is the biggest part of this.
She will never lie about her feelings again.
A man can tell a thousand lies.
So can a woman.
But these lies can be overcome with a little truth , a healthy dose of trust and lots of love.
Lots of it.