Disclaimer: InuYasha is written by Rumiko Takahashi. I do not own anything mentioned in this fanfic besides the idea of the fanfic.
To Love A Human
Chapter Three
Baka, Rin chided herself as she lifted her leg, gingerly feeling with her toes and the pad of her foot for signs of a twig before stepping down. The sun had set some time ago, and it was so dark now that she could no longer rely on her eyes. Stretching her free arm out, she felt for the rough bark of a tree trunk, gasping with relief when she found it. Leaning onto her newfound support, she paused for breath as she tightened her grip protectively on the small bunch of twigs she gathered for a fire under her other arm. She couldn't afford to lose even one. [baka: idiot/stupid]
Her head felt heavy and breathing seemed to require more effort than usual. Why didn't I remember earlier? It was a habit of hers to gather firewood before the sun was completely set so that they'd have a little bonfire by the time it became too dark to see even one's outstretched hand. Today however, she only remembered her task when the sun was a thin fading line of orange-red.
Now it was pitch-black all around. The only thing she could make out was the forest opening. The clearing there was visible with the luminous moon's help, but it wasn't so for the forest. Rin knew that if she ventured too far in, even the forest opening would be lost to her as well.
She sighed in defeat. I should just give it up. It was really quite helpless, and her limbs were aching with more than just the strain of bending and straightening up with each twig she found.
Just as she was about to head back to where Sesshoumaru was, she remembered the time when Jaken had walked into the wall of a cave and cursed profusely afterward. The fire had died out at that time.
No, she definitely had to collect enough firewood to last until Jaken came back at least. Rin didn't want him getting into any more accidents in the dark. She grimaced at the knowledge that she had only collected a minuscule number of twigs.
Twigs. What good were a few twigs? They would probably only last a few minutes under the fire.
Rin forced herself to stand, pulling away from the welcoming support of the thick trunk as she continued her search for more firewood.
Not far away, Sesshoumaru was looking for a shelter for the night. He wasn't the least bit concerned that Rin might get lost. It was easy to find her. Her scent was so strong during this time that he was more bothered about the night ahead when other youkai picked up her trail. That was the reason behind his search now. He had to find a cave of some sort, so that he could stand guard for predators.
It was a chore, no doubt about that. Without her, he wouldn't even need to rest, nor would he need to look for shelter for the night. On the other hand, the risk of Rin being harassed by a youkai scum filled him with such a rage that both surprised and angered him further.
She is a human. You are a youkai lord.
Sesshoumaru couldn't understand it. Why even bother watching out for this mere human girl? Although he would tell others offhandedly that she didn't mean anything to him, the truth was that she did. However, for appearances' sake, he would deny any personal connection with her. He could barely bring himself to face the truth as it was.
His search brought him to a small clearing at the base of a cliff. Since there were no caves to be seen, this would have to do, Sesshoumaru thought to himself as he drew out his sword, Toukijin. Pointing it at the cliff, he released a beam of energy that ate through the rock until he was satisfied with the size of the makeshift cavern. He would have to wait some time before it was safe to enter though, for there were clumps of molten rock lining the inside of the cavity.
Perhaps he should use this time to look for Rin, he thought. She had been gone for a while now, and he didn't like the idea of her wandering by herself for too long. True that he could still tell if she was in the vicinity by her scent, but there was a chance that she could be attacked in the vicinity and not abducted.
Sesshoumaru put away his sword and walked back, thinking to himself that he should have asked Rin where she was going, just that he wasn't accustomed to asking such things. She had risen to her feet when the sun was almost set and went about her way. But where could she have gone at such a late hour? He knew it would be nearly impossible for her to see anything once it was dark in the forest. She didn't have night vision like him.
He was close. There wasn't even any need for him to look to make sure. Her scent alone was drawing him towards her like a moth to a flame.
Glancing to his side, he saw her, just as his senses predicted.
Rin was sitting with her back to a tree with her head resting on her raised knees. Sesshoumaru heard her cough weakly, and her breathing sounded slightly laboured.
He walked towards her, and she raised her head at the sound of his footsteps crunching softly on the foliage.
"Sesshoumaru-sama?" She was looking about blindly when she spoke.
"Aa," he answered, stopping just beside her as she stood up and stared blankly ahead of her, unable to locate where he was. [aa: yes]
In the darkness, she seemed so frail and vulnerable, looking helplessly around her. He could see what an easy target she was, being totally defenceless and open for attack at any one time. A youkai with night vision like him could just sneak up on her and grab her. He didn't even need to do it from behind her — she wouldn't be able to tell anyhow.
Taking the end portion of his fur pelt, he brought it forward to touch her hand. Instinctively with complete trust, she closed her hand around the help offered.
"Let's go." He started walking back, fully expecting her to follow him. The resistant tug came as a surprise.
He stopped. Without turning back to look at her, he demanded, "Nande?" [nande: what is it]
"Rin… couldn't find enough firewood," she admitted meekly.
Firewood? She went through all this trouble just for firewood? Sesshoumaru turned and stared at her. She stood rooted to the ground, one hand holding tightly onto his pelt that he meant as a guide for her while the other clutched a bunch of worthless twigs.
"Jaken-sama might walk into another wall if Rin doesn't make a big enough fire to last till he returns," she added. "Rin doesn't want that to happen."
As much as Sesshoumaru would have liked for understanding to dawn on him with her explanation, it didn't. Why in the world would she trouble herself to make a fire so that Jaken wouldn't walk into another wall? She should be resting, not putting herself at risk needlessly in the dead of the night.
"Let's go," he repeated firmly.
"Demo Sesshoumaru-sama!" she pleaded. Sesshoumaru was actually relieved she couldn't look into his eyes now. There was no way he could resist her when she looked at him with those wide and adoring eyes, begging for his pardon. [demo: but]
His expression hardened, but he relented. Even if she wasn't making a fire for Jaken's sake, those twigs weren't going to get her anywhere. He spread his claws out and easily slashed the tree closest to him into relatively small chunks of wood, then drew out Toukijin and stabbed it into the earth so that its glow provided her with enough light to gather the wood.
Understanding his actions, Rin immediately collected as much wood as she could hold, then went back to take the end of his fur pelt in her hand as Sesshoumaru withdrew his sword and darkness settled on them again.
"Arigatou, Sesshoumaru-sama!" she smiled, satisfied.
With that matter settled, he walked her back to the cave where she built a small bonfire.
Rin yawned. Despite her efforts to try and stay awake for Jaken's return, the heat from the fire was making her feel even drowsier. She wanted to make sure the fire lasted till Jaken got back from whatever errand Sesshoumaru sent him out on.
A little earlier, Sesshoumaru had led her into the cave. He waited until she got the fire going, then left her alone while he went… someplace else. Rin never really knew for sure where Sesshoumaru disappeared to at times because he never told her, and she felt it wasn't in her place to ask.
The headache that had been plaguing her throughout the day hadn't seized nor lightened, and if anything, she was feeling worse. Nausea had set in together with her drowsiness. She had to stop and rest while looking for firewood earlier on because she just couldn't seem to hold herself up anymore. Thankfully, Sesshoumaru found her a short while later.
What's wrong with me? Rin couldn't remember feeling like this before. She hadn't eaten much during the day, so it couldn't be a stomach ailment, and she was fine the day before.
She decided to lie down in an attempt to quell the queasiness building up within her. I wonder where is Sesshoumaru-sama.
Rin felt lonely. The cave was dark and gloomy, save for the small bonfire she built. She remembered many years ago when she was a little girl living in the village with her parents and her brother. She had fallen ill at one time, and she couldn't go out to play. Her mother would cradle her to her breast and sing softly to her until she fell asleep in a bid to comfort and ease her.
Rin wanted someone with her right now, just like how her mother was by her side when she was ill. But she didn't want just anyone. She wanted Sesshoumaru to be there.
Baka! Sesshoumaru-sama is busy!
She had learned by and by that Sesshoumaru disliked humans. He would always avoid villages, unless she needed something from there, and even so he would send Jaken with her. He would never step into a human village.
And she was a human. You don't deserve his attention, and you should already be grateful that he takes care of you.
Rin curled up in a foetal position, trying to face the harsh reality. Still, she couldn't get rid of the thought of him with his arm around her, offering her the comfort that she needed so much now.
Baka baka baka! She shook her head, trying to clear it of her impossible fantasies. She only succeeded in making the headache worse.
Whimpering quietly, Rin shut her eyes tightly and hoped sleep would come quickly to wash away everything she was feeling now, from the pain and nausea to the tightness in her chest whenever she visualised Sesshoumaru in her mind.
She forgot all about waiting for Jaken to return, and gradually fell into a fitful slumber.
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Author's Notes: I tried! *cries* I tried to focus a bit on Rin's emotions towards Sesshoumaru… it doesn't sound too good to me. It's a bit difficult to mix it in with her feeling all sick and stuff. Plus, one has to keep in mind that Rin is probably a really naïve and innocent girl since she doesn't have much interaction with other people ever since she followed Sesshoumaru. I imagined that if she doesn't see other lovers, the most she thinks of love and affection is what she recalls from her past family.
The 'aching' I mentioned in Rin's limbs was generated from the idea of high fever. You know… when you get a really high fever, even your limbs and teeth ache? That's the feeling I was trying to accomplish _ Gomen if it didn't come out quite right.
I also went through different ideas of how Sesshoumaru was gonna lead her back in the dark. One of them was for him to carry her, but it felt OOC to me. I think Sesshoumaru only carries her when it's absolutely necessary. He's far too dignified and proud to do so normally (why else does he always let Rin ride on Ah-Un?). Well, that's just in my opinion ^^6 However I thought it was kinda cute to have Rin tagging along behind Sesshoumaru using his fur pelt XD like something a little girl would do… tugging on daddy's sleeve or something. It could be something she did, and that he got used to. You never know XD
Well, that's enough crapping here ^^6 by the way, would anyone like a mailing list? Do review if you want one.