Chapter 6: Memories from the Past

Merlin, she's beautiful when she's sleeping, James thought. What I would do to make her realize how much I truly care about her. If she would only let her guard down, though I can't blame her for being the way she is sometimes. What that sick bastard did to her. If I were only there sooner. Memories from that mid-May's night and the following months flooded back to him as he watched Lily sleeping.

FLASHBACK

James was out prowling the corridors after getting a late-night snack, hidden from view by his treasured invisibility cloak. Taking a short cut from the kitchens back to the Gryffindor Common Room, he noticed a figure slumped against the wall. Then he saw that auburn hair that he would never fail to recognize. James threw off the invisibility cloak and rushed over to Lily.

"Lily," he whispered, "Lily, can you hear me?" When he got no response he picked her up and carried her off to the hospital wing.

"Mister Potter what is the meaning of this? What have you done to this poor girl?"

"It wasn't me, I swear. I found her like this in the corridor by the kitchens."

"Well, set her down boy. I've got work to do. Now get back to your common room before I report you for being out of bed after hours."

"Madame Pompfrey, you wouldn't mind if I stayed here please?" James pleaded.

The nurse gave him a look over and then decided that since James was one of her favorite students, it might be ok to bend the rules just this one time. "Ok, but I'm going to need your help. Now, go get the potions in the purple and blue bottles and the potion labeled Dreamless Sleep while I mend her cuts and bruises." As Madame Pompfrey began to undress Lily and change her into a nightgown, she noticed some unusual bruises below her stomach and on her thighs. This girl has been taken advantage of, she realized. This isn't just someone's kind of a sick joke, this is serious. Dumbledore must be notified.

"Mr. Potter," she called, "did you notice anyone in that corridor while you were down there?"

"No, why?"

"Oh never mind, just bring me the potions please and then run get Dumbledore. I need to speak to him." Madame Pompfrey spent the next fifteen minutes examining Lily and discovered that her initial thoughts were indeed correct.

"Poppy, what has happened to Ms. Evans," Dumbledore asked upon entering the room, James following close behind.

"I think we should talk alone," the nurse said, a sense of graveness in her tone. Madame Pompfrey and Dumbledore walked into the office off the hospital wing to talk, so James went and sat by Lily's side. Waking up, Lily was cold, scared, and thought she was alone. Then she saw the outline of young man with messy jet-black hair and glasses, a profile she would never forget. For some reason the sight of James calmed her, though she wasn't quite sure as to why, considering usually the mere presence of James Potter repulsed her.

"What happened, where am I?" she stammered.

"You're in the hospital wing. You've been attacked." When the word 'attack' slipped from James' lips, it triggered the memories from earlier that night in Lily's head—Lestrange, the Cruciatus curse, him raping her. She curled up into a ball and began to shake mumbling things that sounded like 'no, please don't, no.'

"Lily, calm down. It's over now. He can't hurt you now," James said reassuringly.

"What happened?"

"I found you down by the kitchens unconscious. Someone attacked you. Do you remember what happened?" Lily was quiet for a few moments, trying to remember all that had happened. It seemed so long ago, yet it was a mere 45 minutes later.

"He— Lily barely spoke the last words he tried to get me to join the Dark Lord, refused…he hit me, threatened me," she stammered, wondering why she was telling all this to a guy that she hated. "He…he raped me," she finished, mumbling and beginning to cry. Even though, James did not need to ask her what she had said.

"Do you know who did it?" Lily shook her head. She wasn't too sure why she was lying, but she didn't want anyone to know who had done that to her. To her, putting a name with the attacker made it real, and she didn't want it to be real. All she wanted to was to wake up from the horrible nightmare she thought she was having. "It's ok," James soothed, pulling her into a hug and allowing her to cry on his shoulders. "We'll get through this somehow."

"You don't hate me?" she muttered.

"What—Lily, no. Why would you say that? I could never hate you."

"But I'm just a dirty mudblood," she said, believing what Lestrange had said to be true.

"No, you're not. You're a beautiful, intelligent witch Lily and that's more than enough for me."

The months following her attack, Lily hardly ever left James' side. He became her personal bodyguard. When Lily went to talk to Dumbledore, James was right by her side, helping to calm her as she relived that frightful night; when Lily went to classes, James was right there with her every step of the way. They even ate together in the kitchens. None of the students knew of the attack except for Lily, Dumbledore, Madame Pompfrey, and James—not even Lily's two best friends, Emma and Carolina. The students began to talk—since when were James Potter and Lily Evan's, who were arch enemies, being friendly, much less spending all of their time together? All that anyone knew was that for some mysterious reason James and Lily were suddenly friends. Emma and Carolina were confused as to this sudden change in Lily's interests, but thought that spending time with James was good for the both of them. James was a happier person when Lily was nice to him, which was good for the entire sanity of Hogwarts. Through her attack, Lily came to trust James as much as she did Emma and Carolina. She knew that no matter what, he would always be there for her. Even over the summer before their 6th year, Lily and James could be found together. Once Lily thought she had recovered from her attack, she began teasing James for his affections for her. She enjoyed making him think that he stood a chance with her and flirting shamelessly with him. Deep down, however, she was not completely healed and toying with James' heart was her way of ensuring that they would never be anything more than just friends. Lily thought that no man would want her because of what had happened to her. She would come to realize, though, that James was no ordinary man.