Chapter 52 Life and Death
March 1980
Now five months pregnant, Lily was finally beginning to feel better. The nausea returned only when she stood up too fast, and she'd regained her energy. In fact, Lily had never felt more energetic in her life. She felt the sudden, unprecedented urge to clean the flat and spent hours at work and on Order assignments.
All of this newfound energy was a source of great concern to James, who didn't think Lily should lift things or move about too much. He was also worried about Lily's lack of weight gain; the bulge in her abdomen was relatively small as of yet. So James and Sirius (who refused to admit that he was excited about the baby but had practically moved into Lily and James' flat and read their baby books when he thought no one was looking) spent most of their free time persuading Lily to lie down and eat things. Fortunately, they had all but given up on the bananas, which continued to make Lily nauseous.
It was a distinct relief to Lily to escape from the pair of them at work, although even there things weren't precisely normal; the other people in her office refused to allow Lily to participate in the more strenuous parts of charm experimentation. And it seemed like every witch Lily encountered in the entire Ministry of Magic had some sort of pregnancy wisdom to impart.
Feeling stifled, Lily strongly suggested that James spend the coming Saturday night at Sirius' flat. She was shocked at how readily James agreed, but not one to look a gift hippogriff in the mouth, Lily promptly invited Kathleen, Dorcas, Alice, and Morwenna to their flat for a bit of much-needed female company.
Alice was the first to arrive round seven, and was soon followed by Morwenna and Dorcas and finally by Kathleen at eight. What with one thing and another, it had been quite some time since they'd all been together without any of the wizards around, so the witches had loads of catching up to do. Feeling very much as though they were back in their dormitory in Gryffindor Tower, the five settled in Lily's sitting room with an enormous amount of sweets and ice cream and proceeded to catch up.
They heard all about Dorcas' possible interest in Sturgis Podmore and Morwenna's decision to try writing a book, but when asked about her job at the Daily Prophet, Kathleen was surprisingly noncommittal. Alice and Morwenna exchanged a puzzled glance; Kathleen's life was generally an open book, why this sudden secrecy? Morwenna opened her mouth to ask.
"So – what sort of book do you want to write, Morwenna?" Lily cut in hastily, referring to their earlier conversation.
"What? Oh, probably a History of Magic textbook," Morwenna replied, frowning slightly. "The ones we had at Hogwarts were always so boring, and History of Magic is actually quite interesting."
"If you say so," Dorcas raised a skeptical brow in Morwenna's direction.
"Why is it that YOU can eat all you want and you're hardly even showing?" Alice asked Lily grumpily.
"Er –"Lily paused in the act of putting a spoonful of ice cream in her mouth, clearly blindsided.
"I'm loads bigger than you are," Alice eyed Lily's midriff enviously, and Lily fought the urge to fold her arms over her bump protectively.
"You're also an entire month further along than Lily is," Kathleen pointed out reasonably.
Alice just glared at Kathleen. "I'm getting tired of this whole pregnancy bit," she groused. "The only things I seem to do all day long are eat and go to the loo. And to add insult to injury, I went to see my Healer earlier today and she gave me these paper knickers –"Alice began rummaging in her handbag and produced the knickers for her friends' inspection.
"She said my bladder muscles would weaken, so I should start wearing these, just in case," Alice explained, her lips twitching.
She, along with Lily, Morwenna, Dorcas, and Kathleen, began to giggle at the idea.
"Oh come on," Morwenna scoffed, still laughing, "does the Healer think you don't have ANY control?"
"Yeah," Dorcas managed to say, still sniggering. "Just because you'll have to toilet train your baby eventually doesn't mean you should review the process."
Alice began to laugh in earnest, then abruptly stopped and turned a bright shade of pink. "What's wrong?" Lily asked, gasping for breath between giggles.
"I – er – I'm just going to go put these on," Alice muttered, snatching the paper knickers away from Dorcas and dashing for the loo.
Morwenna, Kathleen, and Dorcas began to howl harder at this, but Lily found that the situation wasn't quite so funny to her anymore and made a mental note to invest in some knicker liners as soon as possible.
It was, James had to admit to himself, very nice to be away from Lily and the continual stress of pregnancy for one night. It felt so amazing, in fact, that James felt a bit guilty over it. Not guilty enough to go home early, however, though James wasn't sure that Lily would have been happy to see him anyway.
Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter had gotten last minute tickets to a Quidditch match and had then gone back to Sirius' flat to drink butterbeers and talk, just like old times.
After everyone had ribbed James soundly about his newly domesticated state, (including an imitation by Peter and Sirius of James hovering over Lily) they moved onto more serious matters: coercing Peter to confess where he was sneaking off to all the time.
"I'm not sneaking off!" Peter protested when James introduced the subject.
"Don't try to come off as any more of a git than you already are," Sirius snorted. "We're not blind, deaf, and stupid, you know, mate."
"'No, I can't go out with you lot, I've got to get home,'" James took his turn at mimicking, though he wasn't quite as effective as Sirius. "Bollocks!"
"There are ways of making him talk," Sirius observed ominously. "Peter's tongue always did loosen a bit when you threatened him with a Bat Bogey Hex."
"And it always loosened all the way when you actually did it," James grinned at Peter, who gulped, then he and Sirius turned their heads reflexively toward Remus, waiting for his inevitable diplomatic protest.
"And then we'll feed Peter to a hippogriff," James said loudly, staring hard at Remus.
"But first we'll let a troll have its way with him," Sirius added at an even greater volume, waving his hand in front of Remus' eyes. "What in bloody hell's eating you, Moony?"
"Sorry," Remus shrugged. "I wasn't really listening."
James, Sirius, and Peter exchanged glances. "But you ALWAYS play peacemaker for the lot of us," James pointed out. "You even used to do it in the hospital wing during the full moon when Sirius and Peter and I argued about what to do that night, and you could barely even sit up then."
"It's just –"Remus began, then stopped.
"Go on," James, Peter, and Sirius urged in unison.
"I'm just a bit worried about Kathleen," Remus muttered, glancing down.
"Why?" Peter's brow furrowed.
"She works all the time, and she always seems so distracted," Remus explained, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "I've tried talking to her about it, but she always just says that she can't talk about what she's working on right now, and when she can she'll tell me. Has Kathleen –"Remus paused, hesitating. "Well, has she said anything to any of you or to Lily about being unhappy? Is she unhappy with me?"
Sirius, James, and Peter each shook their heads. "Lily hasn't said anything to me about Kathleen either," James added, frowning. "But I'll ask her if you like."
"No, I'll ask her myself," Remus said, shoulders slumping again. "Thanks though."
The silence that followed was long and awkward as Sirius, James, and Peter looked anywhere but at Remus and tried to think of something to say.
"Maybe you should try giving Kathleen's sister a beard," Sirius said into the silence. "It worked for Prongs, didn't it?"
He, James, and Peter burst into laughter, and even Remus had to smile. The four Marauders began to talk about more neutral topics, but none of them forgot about Kathleen.
Lily shuddered slightly in the still-chilly March evening, pulling her cloak tighter round her as she walked into the Hog's Head. She was a bit late for a meeting with Dumbledore, which Lily imagined had something to do with Severus Snape.
Lily pulled the hood back from her face and glanced round the pub for the barman as usual. However, she wasn't expecting to spot her husband, who didn't seem at all shocked to see her.
"Hi," Lily said, wondering what James' presence meant. "Is Dumbledore anywhere around?"
"He had to leave," James replied. "Something to do with Peeves, some chandeliers, and a couple of first years. He told me to ask you to go and check up on Flamel with me."
Nicolas Flamel was one of the wizards that the Order was hiding; he owned the only known Philosopher's Stone in the world, which made him an inevitable target for Lord Voldemort, or so Dumbledore was inclined to believe.
"Sure," Lily replied, relaxing a bit. Apparently James didn't know about Snape, which was definitely a good thing as Lily wasn't quite sure she felt up to dealing with James' certain reaction to that news. "Shall we go?"
Lily and James pulled their hoods back on, exited the pub, and Disapparated, reappearing in a quiet residential London neighbourhood. "Come on," James said in an undertone, and started toward the townhouse that housed Flamel and his wife.
Lily followed, but before she had taken two steps, she stopped short and put her hands tentatively to her middle.
"What's wrong?" James asked sharply, spinning round when he heard Lily stop. "Lily?" She didn't answer; all of her attention focused on her stomach.
Really worried now, James touched her arm cautiously. Finally Lily looked up, wearing a bemused expression on her face. "I felt something," she said uncertainly. "I think the baby just moved."
"Really?" Tentatively, James reached out and put his hand on Lily's stomach, concentrating all of his senses on it. "I can't feel anything," he said at last, disappointed.
"It's very slight," Lily explained. "It sort of tickles, like champagne bubbles are floating round in there."
"Maybe you ought to go home," James suggested anxiously. "It's cold out here, and it's not very safe...."
Lily shook her head. "It's all right," she said, taking one hand from her midriff and putting it in James'.
James opened his mouth to protest further, but a popping sound interrupted him before the words could form. Lily and James both spun round, wands drawn, and Lily quickly pulled the folds of her cloak over her middle, concealing the swelling in her stomach.
A hooded, masked figure stood quite close to them, wand drawn. "If it isn't Hogwarts' perfect couple, all grown up and still together," a familiar voice singsonged from behind the mask.
Lily felt a stab of annoyance. "You can take the mask off now, Bellatrix," she sighed, and was astounded when Bellatrix actually complied.
"What do you want?" James asked, hoping they could play this off. "We've got better things to do than stand round here trading insults with you all night."
Bellatrix's smile widened. "So do I," she replied. "We've come to make you show us where Flamel is."
"Never heard of him," Lily lied coolly. "And what do you mean 'we,' unless you're referring to your split personalities?"
"My master and I have come," Bellatrix was grinning like a jack o' lantern now, "for Nicolas Flamel."
"Good luck with that, since he isn't here," James shot back.
"Is he not?" inquired a new voice, one that neither Lily nor James had any trouble placing. James gripped his wand tighter as Lord Voldemort stepped from the shadows, terror for Lily and the baby coursing through him.
Quick as lightning, Bellatrix lunged toward Lily with her wand outstretched, a hissing noise emitting from deep within her throat. "Conglacio!" James roared, and watched with satisfaction as his well-timed Freezing Spell spread throughout Bellatrix's body, rendering her immobile.
A fleeting expression of distress passed across Lord Voldemort's face. "You will regret that," he said lazily, and hurled a ball of flame toward them.
James deflected the flames and turned them back toward Voldemort. "Lily, go!" he whispered urgently as Voldemort vanished the fire. "Get out of here!"
"Are you mad?!" Lily hissed back. "I'm not leaving without you!"
Before James could argue further, he was nearly struck with a bolt of purple light, and then there was no more time to bicker as Lily and James dueled ferociously with Lord Voldemort while Bellatrix stood frozen, her eyes livid.
James shielded Lily as best he could and so far she didn't seem to be taking too many hits, but he couldn't guarantee anything, which made him sick with fear and rage.
The Freezing Spell had worn off now, and Bellatrix was going for Lily with all of the single-minded insanity she was capable of, shrieking and hissing as she cast spells and deflected others. By some sort of agreement, spoken or unspoken, Voldemort was allowing Bellatrix the pleasure of taking Lily on alone. James cast anxious glances in Lily's direction when he could spare them, but so far she seemed to be doing all right.
And then suddenly he couldn't breathe, the world was hazy with little black dots, and the ground was much farther away than it used to be. James struggled against the unseen force that was grinding his throat shut, but it didn't seem to be doing any good. More and more black spots danced before his eyes and James felt his grip on consciousness slipping away....
Lily stared in horror for a precious instant as Voldemort's Choking Charm dangled James in the air, his face going blue as he gasped for air.
"You'll wish your death was so easy by the time I've finished with you," Bellatrix uttered the threat smoothly, standing less than a metre away from Lily now.
With a speed born of desperation, Lily reached forward and yanked Bellatrix in front of her, holding her there with one arm, and put her wand to Bellatrix's throat. Lily turned them slowly toward Voldemort, her eyes hard in the dim light.
"I'll do it," she said simply, tightening her grip on Bellatrix and prodding her slightly with the wand tip. "I swear to Merlin that I'll bloody do it."
"You haven't the courage, Mudblood," There was the tiniest trace of uncertainty in Voldmort's voice.
"Try. Me." Lily enunciated clearly.
Ever so slowly, Voldemort began to lower James to the ground, loosening the invisible grip he had round James' neck.
Lily waited until James staggered away from Voldemort, coughing and clutching at his throat, before she backed away, bringing Bellatrix with her. Lily flicked her gaze toward James, who came to stand beside her, still out of breath but with his wand ready. Quickly, he yanked Bellatrix's wand from her hand and snapped it in two, throwing the pieces into a nearby hedge.
"We'll be taking her with us," Lily said, indicating toward Bellatrix with a jerk of her head. "Try to stop us and she won't like at all what happens to her. Neither will you."
Lily never did fully understand how it happened; one minute she was standing there with her wand pressed to Bellatrix's throat, in full command of the situation, and the next she and James were lying on the ground, Voldemort and Bellatrix nothing but a memory.
"Are you all right?" Lily asked, sitting up. She put a concerned hand out toward James.
"I'm fine," James rasped, shaking her hand off.
"What –"Lily began, but James didn't let her finish.
"Why didn't you just go when you had the chance?" he demanded furiously. "You're pregnant, for Merlin's sake! Voldemort could have hurt the baby!"
"I was NOT going to leave you here to duel with Voldemort and Bellatrix, who are in a dead heat for the title of Biggest Nutter Alive, by yourself!" Lily shot back. "What sort of mother would I be if I let my baby's father die?"
"An alive one!" James retorted.
"Oh, shut up, James!" Lily snapped. "Just shut up! Things will probably change once I actually have the baby, but for now you're the most important thing in my life, so you'd bloody well better get used to the idea because I am not going to leave you alone to die like some sort of sodding martyr just because you tell me to!"
James fought back the grin that seemed determined to force its way onto his lips at Lily's outburst. "Just promise me that you'll make sure the baby's safe before you worry about me or anything else."
Lily snorted, which, under the circumstances, James took for agreement.
"Come on," James put his arm round Lily. "Let's go home."
"But someone has to tell Dumbledore about Voldemort and how close he was to Nicolas Flamel," Lily protested.
"But you should go home and rest," James protested.
Lily fought back the urge to tear her hair out and scream. "If anybody needs to rest, it's you," she pointed out rather reasonably under the circumstances. "You took loads more than I did."
"But you're –"James began.
"Don't say it," Lily warned. She would not, could not, give up the Order or the fight against Voldemort, even if it would make James happy. The work she did for the Order meant too much to her for that. Lily's eyes met James,' trying to convey the gist of it to him.
"All right, we'll stop off at the Hog's Head first," James amended.
"Thank you," Lily gave James a dazzling smile, then Disapparated. Sighing, James raised his own wand and followed suit.
April 1980
Lily made her way slowly toward the rows of fireplaces on the Atrium level of the Ministry, one hand placed absentmindedly on her stomach. The baby was moving more and more often, but it was still something of a novelty for her. According to all of the stories Lily had heard and the books she had read, she'd be heartily sick of it before long, so Lily planned to enjoy it while she could.
As Lily made her gradual way, someone pushed past her, a someone who was very familiar. "Kathleen!" Lily called. "Wait!"
But Kathleen seemed not to hear her; she continued toward the fireplaces at a near run, tossed in a pinch of Floo powder, and had disappeared into the green flames by the time Lily reached her.
Lily felt her face form itself into a frown. What had that been about?
Peter sat in the small Muggle park Kathleen had asked him to meet her in, his anxiety growing by the minute. This wasn't good, he could feel it in his bones.
For months now he'd managed to keep Kathleen safely away from the real trail, feeding her one bogus clue after another. But Peter had a sneaking suspicion that he might not be so lucky this time. He tried to organize his thoughts, to come up with good and plausible reasons why implausible people could be spies....
"Peter." Kathleen had slid onto the bench next to him almost soundlessly, giving Peter quite a start. The shock worsened when he turned to look at Kathleen's face: she was pale and wild-eyed, as if she'd just received a shock. And with a jolt, Peter realized that he'd failed. She knew.
"I got your message. What's so urgent?" Peter fought to sound normal.
"Peter, it's Augustus Rookwood," Kathleen whispered, sounding panicky. "Augustus Rookwood is the Ministry spy."
Peter felt inevitability come crashing down on him. "How do you know?" he whispered back.
"I saw him use the Imperius Curse just now," Kathleen replied simply. "I was coming out of the loo and I heard a noise coming from the men's room, like two people were arguing. So I cracked open the door to take a look and there was Rookwood arguing with some bloke I didn't know. He was saying that he wouldn't do it anymore, that he couldn't give him any more information, and Rookwood pulled out his wand and said 'Imperio!' and the man's face went blank. Rookwood told him to bring him some sort of potion, and the man agreed."
"Did Rookwood see you?" Peter's mouth felt like cotton.
"No, I'm nearly positive," Kathleen shook her head. "Peter, we've got to tell Dumbledore; he'll know what to do. Is there some way for Order members to get in touch with him? Could you ask him to meet me or something?"
"Yeah," Peter replied, thinking fast. "Yeah, I'll send the message. You go straight home, don't talk to anyone or tell anyone what you know, not even Remus. And don't open the door to anyone until I come; I'll bring Dumbledore and Remus and we can tell them. All right?"
"All right," a look of relief spread across Kathleen's face. "Thank Merlin for you, Peter."
"Oh, don't say that," Peter kept his voice light. "You go home; I'll be there as soon as I can."
As soon as Kathleen was safely off, Peter turned back toward the Ministry, his feet like lead. It was out of his hands now.
Several hours later, Peter stood outside the door of Remus and Kathleen's flat, a hooded figure standing next to him. Glancing at his companion for confirmation, Peter knocked firmly on the door. "It's me," he called, feeling a bit sick.
The deadbolt slid out of place and there was Kathleen. "Thank Merlin you've come," she whispered. "I was going mad sitting here by myself. Remus is out, he's doing some sort of Order thing – oh sorry, please come in." Kathleen stepped aside to allow them access and shut the door behind them, sliding the latch back in.
"Thank you for coming, Profess –" the words died on Kathleen's lips as Peter's companion pulled back his hood. "Oh, no. Oh – oh no. Not you."
"Kathleen Kirkpatrick, isn't it?" Augustus Rookwood's voice was smooth, businesslike.
Kathleen drew her wand from her pocket, training it on Rookwood. "Stay away from me," she ordered, her voice not quite steady. "I don't know what you've done to Peter, but – Oh." Kathleen's gaze shifted to Rookwood's companion as realization dawned across her features. "You didn't do anything to him, did you?" she asked Rookwood quietly. "You didn't have to. You're the other spy, aren't you, Peter?"
"Kathleen," Peter sobbed, spreading his hands in an appeal to the disgust in her eyes. "You – you don't understand. You don't know what it's like, what I've been through -"
"Expelliarmus!" Kathleen's wand flew into Rookwood's hand, and he carefully pocketed his own. Kathleen's eyes widened in horror.
"Strangulo!" Peter looked away as the familiar sounds of the Choking Charm filled the otherwise silent room.
"It's done." Peter glanced up to see Rookwood regarding him contemptuously. Quickly, Peter fumbled for his own wand, preparing to launch the Dark Mark into the air. But Rookwood stopped him before he could finish the incantation.
"The first rule of spying, Pettigrew: never leave a connection between yourself and your crimes."
Rookwood raised Kathleen's wand once more and tipped the furniture over, making sure that any drawers were pulled out.
Apparently satisfied, Rookwood snapped Kathleen's wand in two very deliberately, then lit the pieces using his own wand. When Kathleen's wand was in ashes, Rookwood dusted his hands and drew his hood back over his head. "We're ready now. Do something to make the door appear damaged on your way out."
Peter pulled on his own hood and made his way to the door more slowly, averting his eyes from the shape on the floor.
Kathleen's death hit the former Gryffindors like a tidal wave, knocking them all off their feet and leaving them cold and shocked in its wake.
Remus was the one who had found her, strangled on the floor of their flat. He'd summoned the Department of Magical Catastrophes as well as the Aurors on call, who just happened to be James and Sirius.
"I'm sorry, Mr Lupin," one of the Magical Catastrophe wizards, Cornelius Fudge, had said sympathetically. "But there's no evidence that Miss Kirkpatrick was killed by magic or for any magical reason. I'm afraid there's nothing further for us to investigate; we don't deal with Muggle criminals."
"But she was working on some sort of story for the Daily Prophet," Remus insisted bewilderedly, James and Sirius on either side of him. "Her – her notebooks –"
"I'm sorry," Fudge insisted again, his polite smile still in place, "but we must be going now; there's been a Death Eater raid in Nottingham. Please contact our department if there's any new magical evidence."
"Don't worry, Remus," James said helplessly, knowing any comfort he could offer right now would be useless. "We'll look for clues. We'll get more Aurors in here, and we'll find out what happened."
But a thorough search of the flat failed to turn up anything out of the ordinary. It did indeed appear as though Kathleen had been a victim of Muggle street crime.
Remus worked tirelessly over the next three weeks, appealing to both the Magical Law Enforcement Office and the Department of Magical Catastrophes. He also scoured the flat and all of Kathleen's belongings for clues and used all of the Order's contacts and resources, determined to discover some shred of evidence that would help him find out what had happened to Kathleen.
But when the Magical Law Enforcement Office rejected Remus' appeal for the sixth time and informed him that six was the maximum number of appeals allowed on one case, Remus seemed to lose his momentum. He left Sirius' flat and checked into a hotel, and nobody heard from him for twelve days.
Finally, at Morwenna's insistence, James, Lily, Sirius, Alice, Frank, and Dorcas agreed to accompany her on an "intervention" and MAKE Remus accept their help. Peter, who had been avoiding all of them since Kathleen's death, had declined to participate, in spite of Morwenna and Alice's combined efforts.
The seven of them entered Remus' hotel and Morwenna and Lily approached the desk clerk to get Remus' room number.
"D'you honestly think this is going to work?" Sirius whispered to James.
"Dunno," James replied. "But we have to try something."
"On the other hand," Sirius mused, "Alice just might be the one to scare Remus out of his –"
"WHAT?!" Morwenna shrieked from the concierge desk. Sirius abandoned his sentence as he, James, Dorcas, and Frank sprinted over, Alice hurrying as fast as she could in their wake.
"He's – he's gone," Lily said simply, tears beginning to fall down her cheeks. "He left this at the desk."
Lily held out an envelope bearing James, Peter, and Sirius' names. Sirius tore it open and began to read aloud:
"Dear James, Peter, and Sirius:
"I'm sorry I couldn't tell you this in person or thank you for all of your help, but I couldn't see or talk to anyone, not even to you, my closest and most trusted friends. I've gone away for a while. I need to be alone to find a way to come to terms with Kathleen's death on my own.
"Thank the others and apologise to Professor Dumbledore for me; tell him I'm sorry to abandon his cause when he needs people the most. But just now I can't face even that sort of work; just now even that feels pointless to me.
"Please don't worry about me, and remember that I won't be gone forever. I know you'll understand this as you have so many other things about me.
"Your friend,
"Remus Lupin"
"Maybe we could name the baby Kathleen if it's a girl."
Lily glanced round at James, startled to hear another voice after having been silent for so long. She and James had come home from the hotel and collapsed together on the couch; neither of them had moved or spoken since.
"Yeah, I think I'd like that," Lily said at last.
"Unless you wanted to carry on your family's flower tradition." James looked dubious.
"What's the matter with that?" Lily wanted to know.
"Nothing," James said diplomatically. "Lily's a very nice name. So is Petunia."
Lily rolled her eyes but declined to further a discussion that was almost inevitably going to hurt her feelings. "You seemed so set on having a boy, I wasn't sure you'd even thought about a girl," she said instead.
James shrugged. "I've had to entertain the possibility," he answered cryptically, thinking about the utter failure of his banana campaign.
"Well, what if it IS a boy?" Lily wanted to know. "What do you want to name him?"
"How about Porskoff?" James had given the matter a lot of thought.
"Porskoff?" Lily wrinkled her nose. "It sounds like a fish or something. Where'd you come up with that?"
"It just happens to be one of the definitive Chaser maneuvers," James retorted, stung.
"We aren't naming our baby after a Quidditch play," Lily protested. "Besides, Porskoff Potter? If that doesn't scream 'tease me....'"
"Well, what about Sirius?" James wanted to know.
"What about him?"
"No, we could name our baby Sirius."
"Not that I don't love Sirius, but is he what we want our baby to aspire to?" Lily asked delicately.
"Yes!" James was beginning to feel a bit indignant. "Sirius is fun, and smart, and he's loyal and talented...."
"....And ran away from home at the age of sixteen, is commitment-phobic, hates his parents, and drives a flying motorbike," Lily finished for him.
"Point taken," James said after a moment's pause. "If you're so smart, what do YOU want to name this baby?"
"Crikey!" Lily exclaimed, putting her hand to her stomach.
"And you think Crikey Potter sounds better than Porskoff?" James cocked a brow. "That's REALLY stupid."
"No, you git, the baby just kicked me! Honestly!" Lily glared.
"The baby kicked? Hard enough for me to feel it?" James pressed his hand to Lily's stomach.
"Hard enough for my kidneys to feel bruised," Lily winced. "There he or she goes again."
"Wow," James grinned from ear to ear. "Hi – er – "
"Mr. Baby?" Lily suggested, smirking.
James smirked back at her. "And when Mr. Baby is old enough, I'm telling him that you were the one who called him that."
"Not to mention the one that prevented him from being named Porskoff," Lily pointed out.
"There he goes again," James glanced up at Lily. "It kind of makes it seem real, doesn't it? Like the baby's actually there and not just this invisible thing."
"Yeah," Lily agreed, smiling. "It does." She looked down at James, who was watching her middle in fascination. "We could always name the baby after you."
James looked up, startled. "And you think I'm someone our baby should aspire to?"
"Well, you ARE his father," Lily pointed out.
"And I AM pretty wonderful," James smirked in that way that used to make Lily want to kick him. Hell, it STILL made Lily want to kick him, but she restrained herself with some effort and settled for a Prefect Glare of Death instead.
Hopefully some things weren't genetic.
Author's Note: Sigh. That was a very difficult chapter for me to write. I'm very fond of Kathleen and I was extremely sorry to have to kill her off. Plus it only increased my desire to have Peter get hit by a bus.
Thanks for all of the reviews, everyone; I appreciate the feedback (happy birthday to Tabitha78, by the way). Speaking of feedback, I've had several people mention that they think this story is becoming too depressing. Unfortunately, what happens to Lily and James and their friends is a tragedy; it's going to continue to be depressing if I want to be faithful to canon (which I do). I'll do my best to include as many light notes as possible, though.
Till next time!