Part XI
Isabel
Boys are stupid.
There. I said it. But I don't feel any better. Mom always says that if you talk about your feelings, if you say what's bothering you, it makes you feel better. But I don't feel any better.
We're in sixth grade now. No more Roswell Elementary. No more all day five days a week with Michael guaranteed. We have some classes together, but not all. Max and Michael agreed that it would be suspicious if we had all our classes together.
I'm the one who can dreamwalk, so I'm the one who talks to Tess, most of the time. She's really sad that she had to leave. She explained it to me so that it made sense, but the boys don't want to hear it. That's why I say they're stupid. They miss her, but won't let me talk about her. Max even made Mom take down Michael's old drawings of her.
Tess said that she'll come back. She promised.
But some promises get broken.
She always wants to know about Kyle and his dad. I don't know them very well, but Max and Michael are starting to let Kyle be their friend. It makes Tess happy to hear that. She cried when I told her about Michael's foster father. She begged me to do something, and in the morning I begged Mama. Mom. I'm in sixth grade now, it's time to stop using baby words.
I told Mama that I thought Michael's foster father was mean to him. I asked her if he could be moved to our house. I asked if he could stay in Roswell, even if he couldn't come to our house. She frowned and sighed, and tried to explain the foster care system. I tried to explain how much Michael hates living with Hank, and that the only reason he hasn't run away to find Tess is because me and Max are here, and Max wouldn't forgive him.
Mama sighed, and said, "I'll look into it baby, but unless Hank is really hurting Michael, or Michael stands up to tell the world that he's being mistreated there's not much I can do."
Tess was upset when I told her. She was as upset as I am every time I hear Michael climbing in Max's room. He doesn't come in my window any more. He comforted me for the first week after Tess went away, when the nightmares were bad. Worse than they've been since that Christmas when we vocalized what was missing. Because now we were whole for a little while. But we're back to missing someone.
Any way, one night he fell asleep next to me. Daddy came in and found him and yelled really really really loud. Michael jumped in front of me, like he wanted to protect me. Max and Mom came running, and Mom got sniffly, because she didn't hear me crying. Dad was very very mad. But Mom stuck up for us. So we weren't in trouble, but there's a new rule: Michael can't sleep in my room, or even come in unless we leave the door open. I don't understand it.
There's a lot I don't understand. I said that to Mom too, once. She said "That's all right, you're still a little girl. When you grow up and you do understand, you won't want. Enjoy this end of the spectrum baby cause there's no going back."
It's Thanksgiving next week. And after that, it's time to prepare for Christmas! Christmas is the greatest holiday in the whole entire world! There's presents and a tree and lights and ornaments and cookies and good smells and turkey and songs and carols and families are together and everything is perfect.
That's my goal: I want a perfect Christmas.
Oh good, you're still there. As soon as I said that to Michael and Max they ran away. Wimps.
Maybe, if Christmas is good enough, Tess's present will be to come home.