Chapter 5

The Ways of the Force

Disclaimer: Does anyone really think I own them? Does anyone really read these?

Note: I've made minor changes to some of the game's dialogue, just to make it sound a bit more like a realistic conversation. All changes are intentional, not sloppy copying.

The zakkeg fell with a crash that resounded through the jungle. Bao-Dur stared at it with a wary eye, half-expecting it to leap to its feet and gore them if they got too close. After a long minute while the beast just lay there getting more and more dead, he finally accepted that it was over.

The battle had not been easy. Blasters had no effect on the zakkeg's thick shell. They had been forced to come in close and attack with melee weapons. No one was uninjured; even the General limped badly as she walked toward the fallen beast.

Visas stood with her vibroblade thrust into the ground. She leaned heavily on it, her head lowered, her entire body stiff with pain. Looking at her, Bao-Dur felt an overwhelming urge to stand beside her and protect her from future harm.

The General cut the ear off the zakkeg's carcass. "This should be proof enough of our deed," she said. Apparently she was not ready to just accept Davrel's word, when it came to spreading the news of their victory through the Mandalorian camp. Bao-Dur thought she was right to feel such mistrust. He for one had no intention of putting any more trust in the Mandalorians than he had to.

"Stand still," the General ordered. She held out her hand and called upon the Force.

Immediately a soothing balm settled over Bao-Dur. The pain of his wounds faded and became insignificant. The Force could not heal him completely, but it was a powerful aid, nonetheless. Within minutes he felt as though he could carry on.

Visas stood straighter, the tension easing from her body. "Thank you," she murmured.

The General nodded. Such strong use of the Force seemed to tire her, and her smile was somewhat weak. "We should be going," she said. "Other beasts will be drawn here by the scent of blood."

They headed through the jungle again. Once more, the General took the lead. Bao-Dur strapped his Force pike to the pack on his back, and brought out his blaster once more. He held it with some relief. Ever since losing his arm at Malachor, he had not been comfortable with melee weapons. He much preferred a simple blaster.

But to see Visas with her blaster…that was strange. On the one hand, he was glad of it, wanting her to stay back from any fighting, so she would not get injured again. But somehow it was not right to see her this way. She knew the ways of the Force. She should be carrying a lightsaber.

"Why do you look at me so?" Visas asked. She matched him step for step as they walked through the jungle.

"I wanted to make sure you were all right," he replied truthfully. Strange, how he wished he could walk ahead of her. Just one step. Just enough to bear the brunt of any attack they might face.

"My wounds are lessened," Visas said. "I am ready for whatever lies ahead."

"That's not what I asked," Bao-Dur said. She was always so quick to discount her own feelings. He hated to see that in her.

"I--" She hesitated. "I know. I am sorry. It is still new to me, that someone would care about me."

There would never be a better time. Gathering up his courage, Bao-Dur said, "I care."

Visas opened her mouth to speak, but did not say anything. She gripped her blaster fiercely and took a deep breath. "I did not like to see you injured," she admitted.

The zakkeg's clawed foot had caught him right in the chest. He remembered crying out with the knowledge that his ribs were broken, but there had been little pain. Too much adrenaline had filled him, giving him the strength to fight on.

And she had been there, already wounded, blood darkening her robes. He had not had a choice. He had to keep on fighting.

"When the beast was dead," Visas said, "I thought back on our actions. I realized how frightened I was. Not of dying, but of losing my companions." Her voice dropped so low he could barely hear her. "Of losing you."

All the moisture in Bao-Dur's mouth dried up. He did not know what to say. He had seen too much death to offer her a placating promise that he would always be there. Nor would she believe him. She knew firsthand how cruel the galaxy could be, how quickly death could come.

"The Exile is my master," Visas said, a little louder. "I will follow her wherever she leads. But you have become my friend, Bao-Dur. It has been a long time since I had a friend. I would not want to lose you."

"I will do my best to always be here," he said, wincing at the inadequacy of the words. "I don't want to lose you, either."

How wonderful, that in the middle of this dark jungle, he should suddenly feel bright hope. Perhaps he was not so wrong to care about her. Perhaps she was feeling the same way about him. When they got back to the ship, maybe it would be his turn to ask Atton for romantic advice. The thought made him chuckle out loud, prompting an inquisitive glance from Visas.

"Just an old joke," he said, hoping she would not ask him to repeat it.

"I can feel your thoughts lighten," Visas said. "I am glad."

Bao-Dur smiled. "Me, too."

The Mandalorian hailed them as they crested a rather steep hill. Immediately Bao-Dur tightened his grip on his blaster, but it was more a reflex than anything else.

"Are you Kumus?" the General called.

The stranded Mandalorian was indeed Kumus. He explained his situation, and Bao-Dur saw the General bite the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling. He too saw the humor of the situation, but a small part of him was meanly glad that the soldier had gotten himself stuck. It might do the man some good to have to ask for help from someone. Maybe if more Mandalorians were placed in similar situations, they wouldn't be so quick to turn to war and battle for all their answers.

Then he sighed inwardly. That would never happen, and he knew it. There were few constants in the galaxy, but one of them was this: Mandalorians would never change.

There were a few beasts in a clearing just past the stranded Kumus, but they were not hard to get rid of. The General's violet lightsabers took down most of them, and Visas and Bao-Dur shot the last one. Together they went back to the bluff where the Mandalorian stood, and the General told him it was all right to come down.

Kumus climbed down, somewhat sheepishly. He thanked them, and then begged them not to say anything to anyone back at the camp. The General gave her word, and Kumus left, trying not to look like he was scuttling away.

Bao-Dur watched him go. When the soldier was out of sight, he said, "I have no love for Mandalorians, but letting him starve up there…I think you did the right thing."

The General nodded. She had regained her strength after the zakkeg attack, but nothing could take away the tiredness on her face. "He's just a veteran, like us," she said. "He deserves a better death than that."

She was telling him to forget the war and move on, something he had been trying to do for ten years. And suddenly, it seemed like that was possible. Like he could leave behind all of his hatred. "I agree," he said. "There was enough senseless death back then to last a lifetime."

Saying the words out loud seemed to make something turn over inside him. He wanted to talk about it suddenly. He wanted to capture this feeling of peace, and never let it go. He didn't want to walk into that Mandalorian camp and feel all the old hatreds rise up in him again.

Peace was possible. He could feel it out there, just out of reach. He just had to grab for it.

"Having you here has an effect on me, General," he blurted. He had not known what he was going to say until the words left his mouth, but they felt right. "I never noticed it years ago. I think my mind was too occupied then."

She cocked her head slightly, and he was forcibly reminded of how Visas did the same thing when she was curious about something. "What do you mean?"

He didn't want her to think he was just glad to be with someone who had shared the same horrors of war. He needed her to understand what he was feeling. She was the only one who could. "I feel…calm," he said. "More in control. The anger is still there, but I can feel it drifting away."

Beside him, Visas breathed in sharply. Beneath the veil it was impossible to tell what she was seeing, but her entire focus seemed to be on him. He felt suddenly certain that she was waiting to hear something specific, something that would validate her hopes.

"The last years of my life have been defined by it," he continued. "The Mandalorians, Czerka, and Revan. And above all else, myself, for Malachor." Never would he be free of the guilt of what he had done there.

The General gazed at him calmly. "What about me, for giving the order?"

"Never, General. It had to be done," he assured her. In all the years, he had never blamed her. She was a Jedi. She was in command. She had known things none of them had known, and that dread knowledge had informed her decisions. She had been forced into making a choice, no matter the consequences.

But he had been given a choice. He could have said no, when they asked him. Yet he had not. "My hands destroyed the Mandalorians," he said. "I cannot be forgiven for that."

The General's eyes softened. "Had you not, millions of innocents in the Republic would have been killed. You saved them."

He wondered how many times she had told herself these very words, using them to comfort her in the dark of night when she lay awake wondering if she had done the right thing.

"Even if I did it out of hatred of the Mandalorians?"

"You did it to save us," she insisted, "to protect us from death."

He glanced again at Visas, wondering if she would hate him now that she knew he had destroyed a planet. Her own homeworld had been destroyed. What if she could not accept the fact that he was no better than the one who had turned Katarr into ashes?

"That might be the truth," he said, "but I don't want to see it that way." It was easier to accept his guilt, than to fight it. "I can't just ignore the blood on my hands."

The General walked toward him. "Oh, Bao-Dur. You have dwelled in the past for too long. You cannot undo history, but you can change the future."

"Even if there isn't," he said, "I still feel like I need to do something to make up for it." For so long he had tried to find the proper atonement. Working on the Telos restoration project had come close, then his anger at Czerka's interference had gotten in the way. Since traveling with the General, though, he had felt like he could truly find a way to repent for Malachor.

Redemption was truly possible now.

The General looked him in the eye. She smiled. "Perhaps there is something."

His heart leaped in his chest. "General?"

"Learn the ways of the Force," she said.

With these words, Visas let out her breath in a rush. A small smile touched her lips. Bao-Dur noted this, but he did not have time to wonder what it all meant.

The General had not taken her eyes off him. "But you must let go of your anger, or else it will destroy you, and you will fall."

"Under your guidance, I feel like I could overcome my anger," Bao-Dur said. Peace was so close now, beckoning him forward.

"Then we have no time to waste," the General said. She smiled, and that smile banished the tiredness from her face. She looked almost young again, like the headstrong Jedi Knight he had first seen from afar aboard a Republic warship.

"The ways of the Force," he murmured. "You're saying I could become a Jedi?"

Her smile widened. "Yes, Bao-Dur."

He stared at her for a long moment, then at Visas. "A Jedi," he breathed.

"Close your eyes," the General ordered.

Bao-Dur closed his eyes. He listened to her words. He felt something stir within him, something rising to the surface that had been locked away for far too long.

And when he opened his eyes, he knew the Force.

Note: Thanks again to everyone who has reviewed. Sorry you had to wait so long for this chapter. I've been busy keeping an eye on the hurricane, and seeing where it will go. Thankfully it looks like my part of Florida is in the clear now, so updates should be more frequent from now on.