Hear His Voice

I used to look him in the eyes

Search for a sign of rebirth

He wished to be the phoenix

But fire indeed burns holes

XOX

And again I blame myself

For forgetting about everything

I only wish to hear his voice again

Filling my heart, healing me within

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN BEYBLADE IN ANY FORM OR WAY. That's even somehow unfair, but that's life. I guess I'm good for nothing (Except the poem up there. Fairly mine.)

Summary: Set before GRev. Kai goes to visit Wyatt in the institution. The cheery boy, whose face was once full of smiles, has changed so much. And it hurts. It hurts to see him writhe from life this way. One Shot.

Rating and Genre: The rating is T for…Strange atmosphere. Genre is ANGST as usual. Standard old system is running.

FAB: You see, it's the first Beyblade FIC I post…So I hope someone will review me so I can spot mistakes and improve my writing. Thank you very much. And now…For the FIC!

Hear His Voice

The pale shining sun always somehow reminds me about the day that happened. The air was dry enough to perfect my beyblade skills, because there wasn't any humidity in the morning. I remember my team sitting somewhere behind, staring at me. The Cola© cans were scattered in front of me, and I worked on basic moves before getting to the interesting part.

Dranzer was fine, she was calm and focused in my mind, I'd never felt her so free and relaxed before. She knew well what I wanted her to do, she knew how to do it, and she was ready. Knocking the cans up into the slightly dried air, they fell right in the most complicated pattern to create a pyramid. And that was the second when the thought about him came into my mind. He loved that trick, even if he had seen it just once…I remember how joyous his face was, he couldn't stop talking about this for two days…And then I've remembered how angry I was with him for taking Dranzer without my permission, for reading my mail and going to battle that Dunga thug. He could have destroyed Dranzer, and she is the only one who knows how much I regret abandoning her like I did. I didn't know I was going to regret another thing I did.

When I'm walking down the avenue, I notice how much this day is similar to the day that had happened…Just like the god up above is about to torture me more. Even the smell is so well-known…The smell of hoed ground from my beyblading, and the faint perfume of dried sticky Cola©. Little clods were falling when the cans arranged into the pyramid, and then he came out of the bushes, his usual smile on his face, and he was looking at me. And I didn't know what to say. I haven't seen him for so long, and to tell the truth, I've missed his nosy attitude a little (And it was way better than hearing Takao and Hiromi arguing about random stupidity). But then again I remembered how angry I was with him.

He ran around me in circles just like a four years old boy ran around the Christmas tree, and Hell, he was blabbing way too much. I didn't say a word, but hey, it's just me. Finally he got to the point, he wanted me to train him. And I refused in two or three words, sending him back home. It was the right thing to do, I couldn't train him when I needed to get myself back in shape, and it wasn't the right time to waste on him because of the Virtual Bit-beasts threat and so. I've never thought it was my first mistake, the one that caused the most terrible damage…

It is like a domino, when you push the first stone everything else collapses. And without knowing, my three words sealed his fate. His life. His sanity. "Go back home,"

I have to cross the street now, and I look to the sides, but no one is here so early. Few kids are at the Bey-stadium, playing a little game without Bit-beasts or anything. Just for fun. He loved it when I played for fun. Yet on that day he was ready to fight me with no hesitations. He was ready to destroy me, forever blinded by passion to be better than me, to prove me he is the best. I thought he would be safe back in the school, yet the seduction met him there with the arms widely open. And of course he never refused such offer. That was his dream, his life-goal, to defeat me, to prove he is like me…My poor boy…If only does he know which scars I'm carrying from my past…But he didn't see the catch.

Later I've learned about his training, about all the things he went through to be better than me. Some of Biovolt's worse tortures were candy comparing to his preparation process. In order to master the Virtual Powers he had to be very strong in a very short time, and he couldn't do that, despite his diligence. His body couldn't bear such power, even though the accelerated program. And when he released it all at once…The nerves in his brain exploded and burned into the fire of betrayal and shame.

It's not the first time I visit him in the institution he is hospitalized now. Firstly, he was lying in the hospital, conscious but not really there. I was there for some time, but I couldn't stay forever by his side. I had to take revenge on them for hurting my friend. And I did. I beat the Psy-Kick team in order to teach them a lesson. When we came back from the tournament Wyatt wasn't in the hospital anymore. He was transformed to the institution. And there he has been staying for a year and half now.

At first he only laughed, unable to speak reasonably. Afterwards he had a calmer period, where he could talk, he could say few words to me. I think he has even recognized me. He said my name.

I asked his doctor about his state when I'd visited him for the first time. The doctor said there was no real hope for him. The demolition of the nerves paralyzed his body, and the destruction was still strengthening within. In some time, few days or few years, he was going to head to the coma. And then he could live some time, as long as his brain could function. Again, it could take few days or few years.

But the conclusion is always the same. The Wyatt I know is gone forevermore. And he is never going to be that cheery clever boy he was.

And it's all because of me.

I shouldn't have sent him home. I shouldn't have been so angry with him. I should have been friendlier to him, after all he never meant to harm me. I needed to save his life again, and I disappointed him.

The nurse says he is outside, in the sun. When I ask about his state she only smiles sadly and says that it hasn't worsen.

I go out, and I find him near the artificial lake outside. He sits on his place, unmoving. I slowly approach him, my feet are making little cracking noises on the grass beneath me. He sits so calmly on his place, he doesn't feel me at all.

He has changed so much, his face is very pale, his lips colorless and his hair damp. He never blinks. Sitting, eyes transfixed into the streaming water.

"Wyatt?" I whisper when I get closer to him. He doesn't move.

I kneel down near him, trying to catch his attention, but he doesn't see me. He is looking into the water but never sees it. He sees nothing anymore.

"Wyatt, It's me. It's Kai. I'm here," I say quietly, my voice hoarse in my throat. Still I receive no reaction from him. I pick up his hand, it is cold as ice in my warm palm, and I hold it lightly, trying to make him notice me. "I'm sorry I haven't come for some time. I'm sorry…" I'm sorry for everything, I wish so much you would say you forgive me, you would grant me those three little words. But none of the muscles is moving in your body. God, what have I done to you? All because I had been so stubborn and prideful…Every damned thing that happened to you was my Hellish fault.

It is obvious you can't say a word. You can't even look at me. You don't turn your head to me. You hardly breathe there, in the useless shell that your body has became.

"The guys are fine back home, everything is fine…" why do I tell you this? You probably can't remember them, as you can't remember me right now. And you were my biggest fan ever. I treat none of my fans like I've treated you. I know you can't answer me, yet I know somewhere deep inside you understand. And there you cry for freedom from this body, this prison, the life-sentence I've doomed you to. I'm sorry so much that I can't even describe.

"Dranzer wants to talk to you too," I gently spread his pale limp fingers to place my beyblade in his hand. Dranzer's warmth is smoldering now in his palm, and finally he blinks once. And then he is completely opaque again.

I'm not the man of many words, still I talk to him, saying nothing in particular. He can't understand me anyway, but I feel I have to tell him about school, about the team. I tell him we are the best, we are winning, and there's no one in the world that can beat us. And he is also a champion. No one can beat him now. No one can destroy him more than I've already done. I hope Dranzer can speak in his mind as she speaks in mine, I hope she can tell him how sorry I am, and how much we all miss him back home.

I have to go now. The nurse comes to take him to his room, he has to rest. And I'm left alone there in the park, watching him leaving into the grey building in the middle of the yard.

Dranzer says she has tried, but he is too deep inside the nothingness to notice her words she whispered into his ears. But she says he somehow do reacted to her, she felt his heart beating a little faster, a breath was stuck in his lungs, she says she felt him trying so hard to say it, the word ranged over and over in his mind.

My name.

The name of his final demolition.

I wish I could hear him. I go away, and again I swear I visit him soon.

But time is a misleading thing. And almost a month passed before I got to visit Wyatt again.

And this time he is already lying. He can't support his body anymore. His brown eyes wide open to the storm of unconsciousness, and he can't see me. He can't hear me when I talk. His heart is beating faintly. Dranzer can't find him, deep within his mind. The machines near his bed are beeping softly, and I can't understand what happens with him.

Few days. Few years.

The nurse says his heart is steadily beating, he can still live for some time. But I feel he is already dead, his pale face, huge eyes in the sunken skin. And I am the one who killed him. I am his death.

When I get out this time, I have to bite my palm to suffocate the scream. I should have been punished so severely, I should have been dead for what I've done to him by simply ignoring him. I should lie there, rotting to my very BoNeZ, and not him. He is so young, too young to go throughout this slow withering…

And today I go to visit him again. The sun is pale just like the day it had happened. And the streets are empty, the flowers are spreading warm clouds of blooming into the slightly dried air. I decided to visit him yesterday, and I couldn't sleep when I thought how I've abandoned him again. That horrible sound in my dream, the squeak of the sickle…

I enter the building, and I see the nurse isn't in her stand. But I know the number of his bed. 357, it is written clearly into my mind. I take the elevator to the third floor.

Dranzer is silent in my mind, and even when I ask her what is wrong she is not giving me an answer. Why is she hiding from me? Why is she so silent there, in her little shrine within my soul?

I enter the right room. It is completely silent. The silence is so thick it burns a hole in my heart. Dranzer is drowning in agony.

357.

And the emptiness.

White blank sheets are covering the bed, the machines are disconnected.

He is not there. Dranzer cries mutely into the starless sky.

Only I can't believe…How? When? Why?

But the answer is clear. It is me. It's my fault.

I sit down, staring blankly at the wall. My hand traces the whiteness of the material on his bed. He is gone, he is an angel right now, hovering in heaven with his betrayal-soaked wingZ. And in the pale sun shining through the closed window, I see his smiling face.

FAB: Hope it was fine…I wrote this quite late, so it must be not so good. And it's the first time I write about Wyatt.

If you have some time now, PLEASE REVIEW and tell me what you think. Thank you very much.

Ja-ne.