Chapter 10

Waiting

Disclaimer: LucasArts and Obsidian own everyone. I'm just borrowing them.

They went straight to Telos, to the hidden academy in the polar regions. Alia forbade anyone from leaving the ship. "I must do this alone," she said.

Bao-Dur watched her go. He knew nothing would be resolved on Telos. Kreia was no longer here. He was beginning to have an ugly suspicion of their final destination. Even thinking of it chilled his heart, but oddly enough, it only firmed his resolve. Soon they would all be tested, and not all of them would pass.

Whatever happened, he must be ready.

While the others meditated or played pazaak or otherwise whiled away the time, Bao-Dur seized what might be his last chance to use the garage. He looked at his remote, the companion he had known since he was a kid.

"I have some final upgrades for you," he said.

The remote bwooped at him.

Bao-Dur nodded. "Yes," he said. "I know."

Alia returned after a few hours. Her expression was grim. "Citadel Station needs our help." She would not say what had happened with Atris.

It was a shock to see Citadel Station under attack. Before hiding out in the restoration zone, Bao-Dur had lived there. He had been on friendly terms with many of the station's residents, and more than once he had shared a drink with them in the cantina, bemoaning Czerka Corp and its influence on the restoration project.

Once, he had considered Citadel Station his home.

Now red light bathed the halls. The residents had either been evacuated or were in hiding. Deadly mines had been set, and Sith and their droids were everywhere. The contrast between the peaceful, bustling place he remembered and this wartorn, empty shell was almost painful.

It would have been easy to fall back into his old ways, and let his anger rule him, but he did not succumb. He was a Jedi now, and he was not supposed to give in to his emotions. He was glad Alia chose him to accompany her, but he did not let himself dwell on thoughts of revenge. This was not the Mandalorian Wars, and he was not fighting to avenge fallen Iridonians. This was Citadel Station, and the people here could still be saved.

It was heartening to see how many systems had rallied to Telos's aid. There were men from Onderon and Dantooine fighting alongside the regular TSF soldiers. Bao-Dur looked at them and knew their presence was all Alia's doing. Zherron and Queen Talia had been so affected by what Alia had done for them, that they in turn were performing acts of charity and generosity. No one had forced them to send soldiers, but they had done it anyway.

And maybe this was not the same war as ten years ago, but one thing was still the same. When the common soldiers saw three Jedi step forward to help them, each and every one of them felt a little bit stronger. They stood a little straighter. Some of the tension eased from their shoulders. The Jedi were here. Now they were saved.

Alia began speaking to Zherron from Dantooine. Bao-Dur glanced around, noticing the way the soldiers stared at him with interest. He supposed none of them had ever seen a Zabrak Jedi before.

"Little different than the last time we were here," Atton said.

Bao-Dur turned to the pilot. "Yes," he said. "Very different."

"I forgot, you used to live here, didn't you?" Atton said.

"Apartment C3," Bao-Dur said. "It was too much room for just me and the remote, but that was okay."

Atton stared at him for a moment, then laughed. "C3. I should have known." He gestured to Alia. "That was the apartment the TSF gave us when we first landed here."

Bao-Dur was not really surprised. "After I fled planetside, the apartment would have been empty. Normally they would have assigned it to someone right away; there's usually a long waiting list for those apartments. I guess it really was the will of the Force that brought you here."

"That, and the fact that it was the only planet logged into the Peragus navigational charts," Atton said.

Shaking his head, Bao-Dur just laughed.

In the end it was not so bad. The Sith were repelled, and with the exception of one soldier from Onderon, no one was even badly injured. It was not long before Citadel Station was free of the Sith threat.

On the ground, at least.

They stood waiting for the shuttle to the docking bay. Alia was still frowning, but Bao-Dur was cautiously optimistic. The battle had gone far better than he would ever have imagined. He was stronger in the Force than ever before, and more importantly, he felt the rightness of what he was doing.

The shuttle arrived, and to Bao-Dur's surprise, a group of Mandalorians stepped off. His reflexive reaction was to grip his lightsaber tight, but he relaxed when he recognized Mandalore. The leader of the Mandalorians had left them earlier, saying he was going to gather his soldiers. At the time Bao-Dur had been skeptical, but now he was forced to admit that he had been wrong. Despite being a Mandalorian, the man apparently kept his word.

Mandalore had a plan to infiltrate the Ravager, which was still orbiting overhead. Alia listened carefully, nodding as though she liked what she heard. Bao-Dur was a bit apprehensive, especially when Mandalore said, "Let we Mandalorians lead the charge into battle and victory!"

Alia started to answer, but a quiet voice interrupted before she had barely begun. "You will not face this alone."

Bao-Dur whirled around, too dismayed to speak. He had not sensed her approach. He had not heard her walk up behind him. She was just there, when all this time he had thought she was safely on the ship. "I will go with you, and be by your side," said Visas.

The Mandalorians reacted with poorly concealed surprise, each one reaching for his weapon. Atton started in shock, and even Alia's eyes widened. None of them had expected this. None of them seemed to know what to say.

Bao-Dur knew what he wanted to say. He wanted to grab Visas's arm and walk her back to the ship. He wanted her far away from this place, as far away as possible. He wanted to tell her that it was too dangerous, that she must not go back to the Ravager.

He wanted to tell her that she could not go, because he loved her.

But he could not say it. He was too cowardly. Alia was braver than he was, as he had always known. She had said the words to Atton, but he had not said them to Visas. He had tried, truly he had, but the words had lodged in his throat and refused to budge. And now, when he yearned to say them above all else, he was once again struck mute.

Alia hesitated. She glanced at him, clearly wanting his opinion. Bao-Dur returned her gaze, trying with all his might to keep his face blank. He did not want anyone else to know his fears.

No one objected. No one said anything at all. So at last Alia looked at Visas and said, "Stay close to me."

The hours ticked by, excruciatingly long. He paced the small confines of the Ebon Hawk's cockpit, clenching and unclenching his fists. The light of his artificial arm glowed unnaturally bright, making him wince. He did not want to look at this reminder of what could happen to people in battle. He did not want to think about Visas losing an arm. Or worse.

"Would you stop that?" Atton sighed. "It's getting on my nerves."

Bao-Dur did not stop pacing. "Sorry. I just…this is very difficult, just waiting around, wondering what's happening out there."

"You think this is boring?" Atton dealt himself a hand of pazaak. "You should try sitting in a force cage for three days on Peragus. Now that was some exciting times, let me tell you."

"Three days?" He was aghast. "What did you do all that time?"

"Played a lot of pazaak," Atton said as he laid out his side deck.

Bao-Dur shook his head. Maybe Atton could lose himself in a card game, but he could not. Visas had been gone for five hours. The tiny shuttle had been filled with Mandalorians; against the backdrop of all that armor Alia and Visas had looked ridiculously tiny wearing just their Jedi robes. There had been no farewells exchanged, no parting words. They had simply left.

"Sit down," Atton suggested. "Why don't we play a few hands? Or we could try dejarik. I'm pretty sure I saw a board back there somewhere."

"No," Bao-Dur said. He could not spare any of his thoughts for something as feeble as a game.

He wanted to be with her. That was why it was so hard to be stuck down here, waiting. He wanted to be with Visas aboard the Ravager. He wanted to be with her when she confronted her old master again. And since he could not be with her in body, he wanted to be with her in spirit. Through the Force, it was possible. They were well on their way to being bonded together. If something happened to her, he was confident that he would know it. But for that to happen, he had to focus.

"Can I ask you something?" Atton's voice broke into his concentration, making him clench his jaw.

"What is it?" He reached the end of the cockpit, where the galaxy map shown bright, and did an abrupt about-face.

"What was she like, in the war?"

Bao-Dur stopped pacing. "You mean the General. Alia."

Atton nodded. "Yeah." He looked somewhat embarrassed to be asking such a personal question. "Was she like she is now?"

"Didn't you already ask me this?" Bao-Dur shook his head. "I didn't really know her then, Atton. She was a General. I was just a tech. She never spoke directly to me, or anything."

"But you knew of her," Atton persisted. "You saw her in action, that kind of thing."

There was no way he was going to get out of this, Bao-Dur realized. Sighing inwardly, he walked over to the co-pilot's seat and plopped himself down. "Well, there was this one time…"

As it turned out, waiting for Visas to return was not so bad when he had someone to talk to.

He learned that Atton had been in the war too. They had not fought in any of the same battles, but that did not matter. Suddenly they had something in common, and it was easier to talk about things. Bao-Dur was surprised to hear Atton's version of events of the battle of Serroco, and Atton was similarly amazed to learn what had really happened at Malachor V.

"That was you," the pilot breathed. "Wow."

"I am not proud of what I did," Bao-Dur said. Malachor would haunt him until his dying day. "But I hope I can make up for it. I think being a Jedi is a step in the right direction."

"Yeah," Atton said, staring fixedly at the blinking lights on the console. "I know what you mean. About atonement and all." But he did not say why he understood this concept.

"You know we have to go back there," Bao-Dur said. He thought about Mira and the Disciple, who had not once come up to the cockpit to visit or ask any questions. He wondered if they too knew where their path led them, and if they were trying to prepare themselves as best they could.

"Why do you think I programmed the hyperspace routes to Malachor into the navicomputer three days ago?" Atton said. "Yeah, I know that's where we're headed. I think I've known it for a long time. I just didn't want to admit it."

Bao-Dur nodded in sympathy. He knew all too well how it felt, that instinctive turning away from what you knew you had to face. "I want to tell you something," he said.

Atton looked at him expectantly. "What?"

Keeping his voice low, just in case anyone was lurking outside the cockpit, Bao-Dur explained about the remote, and the new programming he had only recently finished. "I hope it will not be needed, but something tells me that it will."

"I hope you're wrong," Atton said. "But that's some good thinking. You might not be able to leave the ship, but the remote can. I mean, we don't even know what the surface of Malachor is like now. Could be that no one organic can go out there. The remote might be the only chance we have."

"Maybe." Bao-Dur had already thought of this, but it was encouraging to hear it from someone else. It meant that the real reason – the darker reason – why the remote might be necessary might not come true. Maybe he really was just being paranoid about things.

"Malachor," he sighed. "Where it all ends."

"No," Atton said forcefully. "The only person who's going to find an ending at Malachor is Kreia. That old scow is finally going to get what's coming to her."

"And after that?" He found himself wondering what Alia and Atton had talked about that night after Dantooine. It was entirely possible that Atton knew her plans, when no one else did.

"Then we fight the Sith," Atton said, as if this was blatantly obvious. He shrugged. "Find out where they're based, and we take the fight to them."

"Like Revan did," Bao-Dur said.

"Revan was an idiot," Atton said bluntly.

Bao-Dur gaped at him. Of all the things he had expected to hear, this was not one of them. "Why do you say that?"

"Everyone knows the stories," Atton said. "Revan had all those Jedi with him. He fought with Bastila Shan, and all the galaxy knows how powerful she is." He gave Bao-Dur a significant look. "I've even heard that they were lovers."

"How does that make Revan an idiot?" Bao-Dur asked.

"Because he threw them all away!" Atton flung out a hand in disgust. "He went off toward the Outer Rim with no one to help him. When he could have incredibly powerful companions by his side. Instead he went alone, and now no one's heard from him in almost five years. So yeah, Revan was an idiot."

"And you don't think Alia will do the same thing?" He held his breath, hoping he would get the answer he wanted.

"I know she won't," Atton said. "She already tried that, you see." He smiled crookedly. "She gave me the 'it's too dangerous, I can't risk you' speech. The 'I have to do this alone and not jeopardize the ones I care about' lecture. I heard it all."

"What did you say to that?" Bao-Dur demanded. A fit of eager trembling seized him. He would not be left behind on Telos. He would get to fight. He would get to remain with Visas!

"I let her talk," Atton said. "And then I kissed her." He grinned.

Having expected some profound words of wisdom, Bao-Dur was rather disappointed by this. "Oh," he said.

"We're all going to Malachor," Atton said. "Trust me."

Bao-Dur was about to say that he did trust Atton, when he suddenly felt it. A burning spear had just been thrust through his chest, and he could only gasp out loud with the pain and shock.

"What is it?" Atton shouted. "What's going on?"

Visas. He could sense her now through their bond, and it took no effort of concentration at all.

She was dying. He could feel the strength leaving her. Dimly he felt his own body slump to one side, sliding out of the chair and thumping onto the floor. From a very great distance, he seemed to hear Alia saying something; the words were lost but her tone was encouraging, urging Visas not to give up.

Even farther away, someone was laughing. Dark, hungry laughter.

Hold on, he thought desperately. Don't give up, my love. Fight him. You can do it.

Somehow, she rallied. She found strength. Maybe she took it from him. If so, Bao-Dur gave it to her gladly. She needed it now more than he did.

"Hey! Bao-Dur!" Atton grabbed him by the shoulders and gave him a mighty shake. "Stay with me, dammit!"

It would be all right now. She was strong once again. The Force flowed through her, not the debilitating power of the dark side, but the uplifting power of the light. Darth Nihilus would be defeated. He had never been so sure of anything in all his life.

So it was all right then, to close his eyes. He could sleep now. Everything would be all right.

And when he woke up, she would be there, waiting for him.

Author's Note: I've been horrible in not thanking my reviewers. So here's a big shout-out to each and every one of you. Thank you!

Special thanks go to Trillian4210, for being an awesome beta reader, and a great friend. Thanks for indulging my obsessions, sweetie.

By the way, this chapter sort of got away from me. I never intended it to go like this. But once I got Atton and Bao-Dur talking, they just wouldn't shut up. Look for Malachor in the next chapter, although I am still trying to figure out just how to end this story. There are just too many options, and I can't decide which one to choose.