A/N: Hey readers! I know, I should really be updating 'Pain of Publicity' rather than writing something completely different, but this idea is just screaming to be written. Anyhow, it's not necessarily a different fic anyway. It's more like a collection of chapters based on the same meaning. Confused? Well, let's just say this won't be longer than 5 or 6 chapters. Yep.
This may be a bit of a spoiler to certain episodes in the series and the second movie. Not too much though, so I don't think I ruined all too much for you. Nothing that you wouldn't of guessed happening anyways.
And yeah, I guess this is based on the song by Yellowcard. Yeah. This is what I get from listening to the Spider-man 2 Soundtrack waaaaaaaay tooo muuccchhh...
Gifts and Curses
Chapter 1 - InuYasha
Half-demon.
When I was younger that label meant nothing to me. I knew I was different from the others, but my mother always told me that being different was a good thing. It was a gift to be different.
A gift.
Kagome brings gifts to us every now and then. Everyone enjoys the treats she gives out from her time. That's what a gift is after all. Something that brings joy and happiness. It's a thing given with sincerity and received with no regrets whatsoever.
I grew up hating being half-demon. As the years passed, the villagers became more violent. The children would throw anything they could get their hands on at me. Rocks. Sticks. Toys. The adults did nothing as they would watch me being taunted before their very own eyes. Some even contributed to the torture. Unlike the children, they would find a way to harm me without mere objects. They kicked me. Punched me. Some even spat on me after beating me down. No matter how far I tried to run, they always found a way to catch up.
I remember my mother trying to console me as she would bandage my wounds.
"It's okay, Inuyasha. You're with me now. You have nothing to fear." she would say.
I would nod my head in agreement and fall into small slumbers while laying in her arms. It seemed that napping was my only period of safety. Though my mother said everything would be fine, my problems were far from solved.
A year later my mother passed away. That was when I realized that I had sunk deeper into hell. She was the only one to protect me. The only one that was on my side. The only one that cared for me. My mother was my gift.
The villagers continued to taunt me with their hatred towards half-demons. I grew a loathe for humans after that. The only human that would stay in my blessings was my mother.
One night I ran away. I was older and quicker by the time I made my move. They couldn't catch me.
Finally, I thought. Finally I've escaped from the hell that was considered as my fate.
But again my thoughts were mistaken. I did not run away from hell. I ran deeper into it. As if that were possible. I grew up in a hell made by humans. What I ran into was a hell made by demons.
Each pack I tried to enter tortured me worse and worse. If I had thought that humans were the most vicious enemy, I was far wrong. I tried to escape being called a 'Half-demon', but like the humans, demons would label me just the same.
The demons in my pathway grew stronger. Their attacks more effective. The word 'Half-demon' pounded in my brain harder and harder.
Hell got to me physically and mentally. I felt dead and hatred was the only source that kept me alive. I hated humans. I hated demons. There was nothing for me.
Then I had met her. A priestess entered my life. Of course my loathing to humans kept her back, but somehow she continued to move forward. She was so determined to find something within me that it got me curious. Why? What could she possibly see in a half-demon?
A year had passed and I still spoke to the priestess named Kikyo. An emotion began to overflow me that was completely unexpected. My hatred began to fade and I found myself infatuated with her.
I found myself falling in love.
Days began to pass and there is one that I will always remember. The day she told me about the Shikon no Tama.
Kikyo knew of my distress about being half-demon. She knew of my pain. She knew of my sorrow. Kikyo knew everything about me as did I know everything about her.
She told me that the jewel would be useful as to making me a full human. I guess you could call me inconsistent or hypocritical because, though I hated humans, I was willing to become one. Becoming fully human meant that Kikyo and I could be together. At that point, Kikyo was all that I needed and my pride was nothing compared to my love.
And so Kikyo and I devised a plan. I would take the jewel so that I could become a human. The plan was set. It was perfect. I would wait at our usual meeting place, the magic would happen, and we would be off on a journey towards who-knows-what. The main point was that our happy ending was together. We'd be together.
I finally had received another gift. It came in the form of something I thought I'd never feel. My second gift was love.
Our plans and hopes came to an unfaithful end as I found myself being pinned up to a tree by the powerful priestess.
Parallel to the word 'Half-demon', my own name flows through my brain painfully. I can still hear Kikyo screaming the word 'InuYasha' with hatred and betrayal. Thus, the next 50 years of my life were spent pinned up against a tree. I was left hanging by my lonesome. Hanging by one single arrow. Kikyo's arrow.
I have no idea what happened during those 50 years. The only sight I had seen was the inside of my eyelids. Darkness had found me and overcame. I was alone once more. Abandoned by my own gift.
I had wondered what happened. The scene played over and over in my mind. I held the jewel in my hand. Kikyo's scream is heard behind me. Her arrow pierces me. I fall into a 50 year slumber.
Could I have been so naive as to trust a human?
Though I could feel nothing while pinned up against the tree, I felt my heart ache. My heart ached from the life that I had been living. I found myself being disappointed for the arrow just missing my heart. I wanted life to end for me.
Life was my curse. My survival was a curse.
Finally, my vision returned as my eyes began to open. I remember having to blink twice at the first person I saw.
Kikyo?
At first I felt relieved and my heart began to pound. But within a quick minute, my relief was flushed away and overpowered with hate. I began to yell and curse at the Kikyo in front of me. Why had she returned? Was she not the one that had pinned me to this tree? And yet, she was waking me?
But I found out that my assumptions were wrong. Terribly wrong. It was not Kikyo that had found me. It was a different girl. A human girl.
She looked so much like Kikyo that it was not surprising to be mistaken for the priestess. The same flowing raven black hair. The same facial structure.
It wasn't until later that I found out that the girl was not an ordinary human. She was what they called a reincarnation.
A reincarnation of Kikyo.
Does that mean that she had died? Well, of course. The last time I saw her she was nearly covered in her own blood.
But I had always believed that Kikyo was indestructible – even if she was a human.
The reincarnation's name was Kagome. She was a fairly peculiar girl. Not to mention a pain in the ass. I held a grudge against her for the longest time.
She looked like Kikyo. Came out of no where. Owned a certain power over me that forced me to fall to the ground whenever she pleased. And above all...
...She broke the Shikon no Tama and I was forced to bring her along in search for the shards.
Ah yes, Hell was finding me all over again. Except this time, I made a promise to myself: I was no longer a weakling. No demon could bring me down. No human could hurt me.
When I first met Kagome, I thought of her as a pathetic human. Could I have feared species such as these? A species that was afraid of spiders and tiny insects that could be demolished in a quick second. A species that depended on others in order for their safety. It made me sick to my stomach that these were the type of people that taunted me.
As the months passed and our shard collection grew, I began to find out more about Kagome. Though she looked like Kikyo, she was anything but the same.
Kagome was different. And now that I come to think of it, I can remember someone saying that being different was a good thing. A gift.
Kagome was her own gift and I admired that.
I felt more determined during our hunt. Before we had left, I was filled with information regarding the incident 50 years ago. A man named Naraku was the center of my distress. Somehow, he had played Kikyo and I in a game of betrayal. After that, I made another promise: I was going to hunt down and kill that bastard.
Consider him the curse of the century.
As the years passed, I had met other people in search for shards. First we had met a little kitsune named Shippou. An annoying little fox demon if you ask me. Kagome keeps insisting his company. Probably because she considers him as oh-so-adorable. Adorable my ass!
Then we had met a monk named Miroku. Feh. A sad excuse for a monk if you ask me. A lecher is what he is. Constantly groping every woman we pass by. The first time we met him he had his hands on Kagome.
I was pissed.
But over time, Miroku learned his boundaries. Kagome was in the off-limit zone. He dared not touch her in front of me.
Then the third person we had met was a demon exterminator named Sango. She's a fearless fighter that surprised even me with her abilities. How could a mortal complete such tasks?
I found myself accepting all of our companions – Humans and demon. Despite my annoyance and loathe towards their kin, I accepted them into our group. Under the influence of Kagome, that is. If I hadn't, she would've tortured me with that damn 'S' word.
I noticed that she had changed me. A change that I wasn't holding back on. A change for the better. But at the time, I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't let someone else change me. The last time I had allowed that to happen, I was pinned to a damn tree.
However, I couldn't help but learn to trust all of them: Kagome, Miroku, Shippou, and Sango. They all contributed greatly as to retrieving the shards. And I managed to realize that without Kagome's influence.
Kagome began to get better each time she picked up a bow and arrow. Her aim is still a bit off, but with a bit more practice she could probably hit a decent shot.
Miroku's wind tunnel works best when Naraku's poisonous insects aren't around. Sometimes he refuses to release the wind tunnel due to minor wounds and risk of sucking everything up. Where does everything go from there anyway? Something I've always wondered...
Shippou. Now, what can I say about the annoying kitsune? As much as I hate to admit it, I've got to say that Shippou has got strong morals. He works his hardest when extremely determined. His spirit is strong and he doesn't just give up.
Great. I'm starting to sound like Kagome.
And then there's Sango. The demon exterminator with ferocity as fiery as her cat demon Kirara. She's got major strength proven whenever she handles that giant Hiraikotsu. And whenever I catch Miroku groping her ass, her slap marks stay on his face stays on for at least a day.
We're all a team. As corny and pathetic as that sounds, it's true. I don't dare tell Kagome that though. She'd get all sentimental on me and I am not looking forward to that.
A team. A family. A gift.
We all work together to find the shards and defeat Naraku. One day, we will find that bastard and I don't give a shit on how hard it'll take to beat him. I'll do it. We'll do it.
Finally things seemed to come to a compromise for me. I had goals, hopes, and friends. Now all I had left to do was settle unfinished business.
However, a day came when I thought that my business was already done. A day when one of my curses was finally cured.
A day when my demonic blood overpowered my human side. I was equivalent to a full demon.
I can still remember the battle field. The stench of the blood. The rage in the air. The fear in everyone's eyes.
The fear in Kagome's eyes.
It all happened so quick that I didn't even have time to think about what I was doing. It all started when I was separated from my Tetsuaiga.
I felt my eyes go blood-shot red. My veins began to exceed their normal positions. My claws grew larger and sharper as did my teeth. I was transforming into an even bigger monster. And I enjoyed it. Every minute of it.
Within an instant I destroyed the demon that I had been fighting beforehand. But that wasn't where I wanted to end. I wanted to kill more. I needed to kill more.
There was only one thing on my mind that I thought about. Only one thing that was important to me. My priorities were altered and I craved for extremities.
I wanted death to occur.
I could sense the fear felt in my comrades. Above all, Kagome was the most frightened. But I couldn't do anything about it. It was just enough trying to hold myself back from killing them.
I needed to get away.
Just then I found a pair of arms wrapped around me. They were trembling with fear, but strong with determination. Though the grasp was weak, I continued to stay in position. The arms were strong in spirit, and the spirit is something that cannot be broken.
They were Kagome's arms.
"Come back, InuYasha. You don't have to be like this. Fight it. I know you can." I remember hearing her plead. "Come back, InuYasha. Please come back. Don't you want to be with us? With me?"
With her?
I tried releasing myself from her grasp. My chest pounded hard against her face as I tried to break free. I couldn't.
"Kagome! You could be killed!" I heard Sango exclaim in the background. She was right. Kagome was risking her like doing this. Kagome, you wench! I could have killed you at the time!
I felt Kagome's head shake on my chest. Her arms remained around me – grasping tighter. I brought my clawed hands to her arms as I tried to make her let go. I tried to refrain from cutting deep into her skin, but that did not stop me from creating a few cuts and scrapes.
Though, she did not cry. She did not yell. She did not scream. She merely pleaded.
But she was not pleading for me to spare her life. She was pleading for my return. She was pleading for me.
I sensed Sango unsheathing her katana, but I still did not care. I was actually hoping she's stab Kagome free from my distance.
'Kill her. Kill her' My mind repeated hoarsely as Kagome held on tighter. 'She's only a human. Don't you remember what humans did to us?'
My mind was right. I did remember what the humans did to me when I was younger. That made me ever angrier. My grip on Kagome's arms tightened.
She was a human. My opportunity for revenge was right there. I could've killed her. I could've ripped her arms right out of her body. I could've escaped her grasp and cut her into pieces.
But I didn't.
Instead I fought the voice in my head and tried to soften my grip on her arms. I heard Kagome whimper as I felt the warm blood in between my fingers. I was cutting her.
But I wanted to fight it. I wanted to defeat the voice inside of my head. It told me to kill Kagome. It ordered me and I was willing to.
I fought harder and harder as my body began to shake. I felt as if I was caught in the middle of a giant earthquake. I began to growl uncontrollably.
Suddenly, I felt Kagome's hands gently placed on my face. I looked down at her and saw her eyes glisten with tears. She looked at me sadly, but still with hope. I saw tears roll down her face. They rolled down her small smile. They fell onto my shirt.
That was when I knew I had to put an end to this. I had to take control.
"It's okay, InuYasha. You're with me now. You have nothing to fear." Kagome whispered in a shaky voice. The sentence ran through my head over and over again. They sounded so familiar. They sounded so sincere. They sounded so trusting.
They sounded like my mother's.
I felt my knees go weak and my breath regained. I would've fallen flat on my face if not for Kagome. My veins returned to their normal areas. My fangs and claws became dull once more. I looked up to see Sango and Miroku's relieved faces.
I took a glace at Kagome. There were even more tear-stains on her cheeks. But her eyes were not a sad as before. I had returned into a half-demon and she was happy.
So I was happy.
"Thank you InuYasha." I heard her whisper.
Before I could say anything in return, I felt my eyes grow heavy and the last thing that felt was the dirt slamming onto my face.
When I woke up it was already the next morning. Somehow they managed to bring me back to Kaede's village. There was a warm fire in front of me and I could already feel the silence of the room.
As I sat up, I looked at my arms and saw that someone had already bandaged me. They were already starting to heal because when I sat up, I felt no pain whatsoever.
I thought that no one was inside of the room with me, until a head popped out from behind the curtain. Kagome's face shyly entered. I said nothing.
"Awake?" she asked softly. I smirked. Kagome always asked questions with obvious answers.
"My eyes are open, wench." I muttered. I was injured, there's no way in hell Kagome would 'Sit' me.
She nodded her head slowly as she tip-toed into the room and sat next to me.
"How are your injuries?" she asked.
"They're healing." I answered. "That's what the bandages are for anyhow." Really, she asked the dumbest questions.
"I thought you'd never wake up." Kagome said silently. I raised an eyebrow.
"Well I'm awake so there's no reason to cry now." I said nonchalantly. Where was this conversation going?
"I'm serious, Inuyasha." Kagome said sternly, saying my name with complete boldness. "You had me really worried. When you transfor–"
"I know what happened." I cut her in. I was there. She didn't need to remind me about yesterday.
"You weren't yourself. You weren't the Inuyasha that you are now." At this point, I sensed that she was nervous. She fiddled with a loose string on her skirt.
"Listen, there ain't no alter-me or whatever you think." I began to say seriously. I didn't want to talk about what happened yesterday. It wasn't any of her business as to what I felt, so why make it? I wanted to settle this subject. "That was me back there and that's all."
"You're wrong." I felt Kagome's eyes look at me. I resisted glaring back. Her statement irritated me even more.
"What makes you think that you know who I am?" I hissed. Who did she think she was? Telling me I'm wrong. Feh!
"I just do." was all she said. I rolled my eyes and began to grit my teeth. This was getting nerving.
"Look, believe it or not, that was me back there. Ain't nobody else here going by the name 'Inuyasha'!" I exclaimed. "What I turned into yesterday is who I am!"
"What you turned into yesterday was not you!" Kagome yelled as she stood up. I looked at her with surprise.
Was she crying?
"I know you, Inuyasha." she said sadly, holding back her sobs. "You're kind and caring and, though a bit of a moron, you're a good person. What you were yesterday was not you." her voice calmed down.
I stared at her for a long time. This was her second time crying over the same subject. For the first time in over 50 years I saw someone cry...
...For me.
"This." Kagome continued as she grabbed my hand and held it in hers. She placed her other hand over mine. "This is who you truly are."
For a moment I wanted to agree with her. I wanted to nod and hold her in a deep embrace. She assured me that things were okay. That I was finally found from a crime of eternal nothingness.
But then my senses came back to me. How could she know who I am? I didn't even know who I was.
"You mean a half-demon?" I spat the word with much distaste. I took back my hand from hers and placed it on the floor of the room. "That's all I am. I'm not human. Not a demon. I'm just half."
She was silent for the longest time. I felt her eyes stare at me while I looked down at my feet. What the hell was she thinking?
"Even so," she finally began. My ears twitched at the sudden sound. Her voice was calm and soft. "You still have the abilities no human could accomplish. And the emotions no demon could perceive. Half-demon or not, I still think you're wonderful, Inuyasha."
As I looked up to face her, I saw the curtain sway as she exited the room. I felt the corners of my lips rise at her comment.
I was wonderful to her.
Perhaps the feeling is mutual, I don't know.
But what I do know, is that after that day I made up my mind: I would protect these people with my life.
I found it essential. After all, I had already almost killed them. But the biggest impact on me was the memory of Kagome's reaction to my transformation. She was so scared and frightened, that it was almost unbearable.
And yet, she continued to fight for my return. It reminded me of how determined Kikyo was when I first met her. It reminded me of the times my mother told me it would be okay after going through a beating from the villagers.
Kagome is my gift.
I'm going to protect my gift with everything. Nobody will take her away. I've already been deprived of two of the gifts given to me in my life. Nothing will take this one away.
Not even myself. I almost ruined the only gift I have left. I almost destroyed Kagome. Well think again, because I refuse to let that happen. I'll protect my gifts from my curses. I swear it.
Kagome is my gift.
And I am my curse.