Summary: Marissa and Ryan's thoughts after they sleep together.
Background: This takes place in season two. Ryan and Marissa have gotten back together (obviously...) and Trey is back from Chino. Trey has NOT tried to rape Marissa.
This story is a continuation of Join the Club and Afraid of the Unknown. You can easily read this without having read either of these stories, although the parts about Trey and Ryan's friends from Chino will have more of an impact if you read Afraid of the Unknown (which you should read and review anyway. Same goes for Join the Club!)
A/N: This is the second chapter (duh) in this three part story.(Which leaves you with one more part to come.) I guess I just want to say that this chapter, much like the first one, was not how I envisioned it. However, I think it came out well and hopefully fufills your expectations.I would like any and ALL reviews, so please do! Even if it is just one wordtelling me how muchyou liked it, orone sentence telling me thatit wasn't what you expected. Enjoy.
Ha! Thought you would get away so easily with such a short A/N? I made a promise in the last chapter that I would thank each and every reviewer. And I am going to. In general, the amount of reviews for one chapter astounded me. And the stats! Holy cow, I am in shock. So here it goes:
J: I'm glad you understood everything. It would suck if you didn't (lol). Your review was way beyond "good enough". hawaiiansurfergirl: Glad it made sense. About the Nameless Club: you are pretty much right about it being too extraordinary for a name. Although, part of the reason it is "nameless" is because I just couldn't think of a name that would do it justice. EVCLGSB: Your wish is my command, here is the next update. She Loves Shoes: I am glad I could convert you to the dark side of the show (lol). Thanks for reading even though you don't like R/M. And I love shoes too. Surf Nerd08: Go Ryan and Marissa! I am really enjoying your story Truth Is, hopefully as much as you are enjoying my story. kursk: All I can say is that I hope Marissa is this happy after sleeping with Ryan on the show. Thanks for reviewing! unfolddream: I suppose you could call it a series, even though I kinda screwed things up by making the first two different stories. Oh well..thanks for reviewing! Dogsbody: Too bad you hate Marissa--hopefully you like Ryan better. Thanks for reading even though you aren't a fan of Marissa. And don't feel bad about being a member. Hopefully you belong to another, better club as well. Sis2ACesarSalad: (goodness, that's a long name) I am sorry to dissapoint you, but thank you for feeling like you could tell me. Again, both chapters have turned out differently than I expected, but I hope that they aren't too terrible. But don't be sorry for being let down, don't ever be sorry for your opinion. I hope this chapter is more enlightening for you.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything that has to do with the O.C. I do, however, own the story. Do not steal and do not copy.
Ryan had walked into the kitchen that morning and had been greeted by Trey.
Trey, who had happened to pull into the Cohen's driveway at exactly the same time as Marissa was pulling out.
Trey, who wanted answers.
Trey, who wouldn't go away until Ryan had finally said yes, he had slept with Marissa last night.
Happy now?
Of course not. Trey couldn't possibly be happy with just a simple answer such as yes.
Trey had to push and shove Ryan for details. How was it? Was she awesome? A girl like that, so beautiful on the outside…
Ryan did not need Trey telling him how beautiful Marissa was. Nor did he need him needling him for details that he did not want to divulge.
Trey had figured out that Ryan had not slept with Marissa before last night.
Something Seth had never been able to do. Ryan did not plan on letting Seth in on the secret.
But of course, in typical fashion, because the universe really was against Ryan, Seth came in just as Ryan was telling Trey to shut up about him having sex with Marissa.
Wait, who slept with Marissa? Ryan, buddy?
Ugh. Ryan groaned inwardly just thinking about what had followed.
Trey told Seth about how Ryan had not spilled anything.
Seth then tried his hand at getting Ryan to open up.
What could he say? He was a man of few words. Even when Ryan was talking voluntarily, words did not come easily.
After much prodding and urging, Ryan finally gave up on the hope that breakfast would be peaceful and let his two brothers pester him.
Trey had an idea. Ryan wouldn't have to actually say how good sex with Marissa was.
Instead, Trey would rattle off the name of someone Ryan had slept with in Chino and Ryan would say better, the same, or worse. Better meaning that Marissa had been better than the aforementioned person.
No way was Ryan going to participate in this. First of all, how sex with Marissa had been was his own business.
Ryan had never been into doing a girl and then telling his buddies about it. Sure, he did tell, but that was just so that he could maintain the image of the bad boy.
Secondly, Ryan did not need Seth to know all the names of the girls he had slept with.
Sure, last year he had told Seth how many girls he had slept with, but Ryan was hoping that Seth had forgotten.
Seth had been only too game for this little session to happen. For Seth, it would be like living vicariously through Ryan's experiences.
Why was it that people always wanted to live vicariously through Ryan?
First Trey, now Seth?
Lily was the first name. Ryan could barely even remember Lily. Lily had been just a dare given by Trey. Sleep with her and Ryan would get ten bucks.
Getting paid to have sex? Ryan had been eager to take Trey up on his dare.
Lily, it turned out, was a twenty something druggie. Lily had been terrible.
Ryan remained silent, however. No way was he letting Trey know any of this.
Keisha. Keisha had been a classmate of his. For weeks they had flirted and one night they had both been a little drunk and ended up in the back of Trey's car. Ryan had still been a newbie then. To this day, he still wasn't sure if it had been Keisha that sucked or him.
Theresa. Seth stopped smiling at this and looked at Trey.
Trey had no idea about Theresa and the trouble she had caused. No one had bothered to fill Trey in about the baby and the miscarriage.
It wasn't really a subject that got discussed a lot in the Cohen household.
His good mood ruined, Ryan swung his leg over the kitchen stool and retreated to the pool house.
Let Seth explain everything to Trey. Ryan had better things to think about.
Honestly, though? He had been wondering the same thing.
How did Marissa compare to Theresa?
He knew it was unfair to compare them. They were from two totally different worlds.
Marissa had only had sex once before. Ryan had no idea how many times Theresa had had sex, but judging how many times he alone had slept with her, he knew the number was as high as his own.
So basically, Ryan was comparing a pro to a beginner.
And it wasn't fair.
That still left the question though, who had been better?
Well, that all depended on your definition of better.
Ryan wasn't quite sure what his definition of better was.
Being such an expert on sex, Ryan supposed that he was a good judge of sex.
Which did not explain why it was so hard for him to choose between the two.
Maybe, there was no choosing to be done. They had both been good in their own separate ways.
Theresa had been good on the skill level. Way better than Marissa. But that wasn't Marissa's fault.
Marissa, on the other hand, had been better on the experience level. Probably because Ryan had slept with someone he really loved, rather than a girl he had known his whole life and sort of loved.
Wait, now he was getting confused.
Who would have thought that Ryan Atwood, man of few words, would have so many words whirling around in his head?
He began to wonder if it even mattered who had been "better".
To compare them would be lowering himself to the level of his brother and all his other Chino friends.
Not that Ryan thought any less of his Chino friends than he did of say, Seth. But they were on totally different maps. Hell, they weren't even on the same map as far as Ryan was concerned.
That wasn't the point though.
At this point, Ryan wasn't even sure what the point was.
See, this was why he didn't talk much. All the thoughts just built up in his head and it was easier just to stay silent than trying to choose between them.
Perhaps Ryan didn't have to compare them. Maybe all he had to was ask himself one simple question:
Had he enjoyed sleeping with Marissa?
Hell yes.
Or maybe two or three questions…
Had sex with Marissa been different than with other girls?
Yes.
It was hard to explain even to himself why sex with Marissa had been different, but it was suffice to say that it was.
The thought occurred to him that perhaps they had "made love", whatever the hell that meant.
When his brother taught him tricks of the trade, no mention of the difference between sex and making love had been mentioned.
Had Ryan been a little disappointed?
A little, yes.
Not because sex with Marissa hadn't been everything he had imagined. It was more because that now they had broken past that barrier, what else were they supposed to work up for?
Not sleeping with Marissa had always been what had set her apart from all the other girls he had dated.
Well, that and the fact that he was in love with her.
But to him, keeping their relationship somewhat innocent had always been important to him. It was his way of keeping his two lives separate.
How did he know that now their entire relationship wouldn't be all about sex?
After all, with almost every other girl, after the first night, if there were any other nights, the whole date was just sex.
Ryan did not want them to fall into that habit. That habit did not lead to good things.
And yes, he was speaking (or thinking, rather) from experience.
What if he had scared her, or hurt her somehow?
Damn, sex in Chino was a lot easier.
But that was just it. That's all anyone ever did in Chino—sex. And supposedly, Ryan didn't want just sex.
Once again, he was confusing himself.
The smart thing would have been to go call Marissa and talk to her.
On the other hand, maybe the smart thing would have been to not have sex in the first place.
Their relationship had never been easy. Easy was like some distant word just always moving out of his reach. What had he been thinking, sleeping with her? Just when everything was going pretty well for them, this happened and now everything was complicated again.
Had they been ready?
Was anyone really ready? Ryan knew that he sure as hell hadn't been ready when he did it for the first time.
Marissa probably wasn't ready when she slept with Luke.
How did you know if you were ready to go all the way? Especially with someone who gave you butterflies even after two years?
I think you just know.
Those had been Seth's words when Ryan had asked how you knew if you were in love.
Maybe they hadn't been ready. But it was too late now for regrets.
Besides, what exactly was there to regret? Sex with Marissa had been amazing. It really had been. So there was no regret there.
Was it possible to regret something that you weren't even sure was happening?
Ryan didn't think so. Technically, then, he had no regrets about sleeping with Marissa.
Which left him with lots of time to just stare at the ceiling and relive the entire night.