Chapter 2: Of Leather and Motorcyle Boys
A/N: Okay, this is later...you'll notice I skip quite a bit. Graduation was the day before, and ended with Remus being pissy and Sirius being mopey. So sorry if it confuses anyone. If you want a filler for the in-between space I'll do one...I just thought it wouldn't be necesary because all that needed to be seen was Sirius's recluctance to become attached and Remus's confusion. Enjoy...
"If I died tonight, would you hold my hand, and would you understand?
And if I lied in spite, would you still even care, or would you diappear?
...I'll get over you, but I won't make you love me."
The Cranberries
Remus loved the smell of blackberry tea, the scent rising through the air, tickling his scenes. The cold air of Britain's winter filtered through the screen window, as he sat in his lounge contently, sipping idly with one foot propped up on the seat of the chair, barefoot.
The sudden knock startled him, and he rose slowly to the small peephole. It was cloudy, fogged up with mists that still clung to the humble apartment flat desperately. His hand closed around the knob, turning it slightly, an idea on his mind of whom this might be.
Sirius was on his front porch, a pathetically sorry look plastered on his face, in his hands remnants of a chocolate bar.
Remus promptly shut the door right in from of his impetuous face.
'Right, alright then,' he heard him mutter. 'I even saved him a bloody piece of chocolate and all he does is shove the bloody door in my face...' he continued muttering, until Remus was satisfied as the apparition pop sounded outside. He didn't even turn back around to the comfort of his grey walls, yet absently picked up his tea and simultaneously muttered every curse he had ever had the patience to memorize.
He hears a stifled laugh behind him.
'Could that even fit?' Remus whirled around, the anger showing raw on his face.
'Get out,' he hears himself utter, he wants this thing called Sirius to go away, to stop tormenting him, hadn't he done enough?
Another sound was made apparent behind him, an exasperated sigh, 'Come off it Moony!'
Remus could imagine his whole body swaying with the effort he put into his words, but, Remus couldn't be positive for he refused to turn around.
'Right, come off it; dismiss everything you did with a simple wave of my hand….No. Not this time, Sirius.' He spoke with his back to him, and absentmindedly pulled a book form the shelf, gazing at the cover once, and then putting it back. He continued doing so.
'Remus, I already told you, I swear I didn't know she would be there-'
'YOU HURLED THE BLOODY BLUDGER RIGHT FOR HER HEAD!'
He had the decency to look aggrieved, 'I did not,' he argued meekly.
'If James had not stepped in-'
Remus left his words hanging, making Sirius imagine the grim situation himself. 'And at our bloody graduation party you prat, what possessed you?'
He now faced him head on, daring him to offer his meek excuse, it would not pardon him this time. This time, Remus wouldn't let him get away with everything as he usually did, this time, well, this time he'd be upset a bit more than usual. Ah, he was pathetic.
'Well, she doesn't seem to hate me-' Sirius offered.
'That's because she was still in SHOCK!' He added extra emphasis to his soft debate, making Sirius jump. It grew silent, as if the air was tightly strung and ready to snap at any moment. It was still quiet when Sirius made his decision.
He advanced dangerously, fixing Remus with a smoldering glare, full of a hot anger. 'I tell you now, it was nothing.' He added softly with a dodgy tone, 'Forget it Remus.'
'You cannot simply forget events that happened.'
Sirius looked up at him sharply, 'No, but you can move on.'
He took a breath, steadying his temper, 'Sirius,you have no idea how hard it is for me to move on.'
'Really Moony,' the sarcasm plunged itno his tone, 'enlighten me.'
Remus stopped, and looked panicked for a second. He calmed his breath slowly, 'this is a pointless conversation.'
His eyes darted quickly, and he opened his mouth to take back his words.
Sirius's face twisted into a grimace, 'What was that Moony?' He stalked towards him again.
'Pointless, is it? Just like every other conversation that includes me making a valid point. Am I right Remus?'
He knew then that his slip of words had taken a drastic turn. Now Remus was touching on a dangerous subject, one that was still left untouched, still delicate and easy to hurt.
'Sirius I-'
'No, Remus.' The boy proceeded in walking towards him, until his nose was almost touching the other boy's, eyes still bright with anger, and his body shaking with the suppressed urge to probably pummel him.
Remus spoke with a shaky hitch, 'Sirius, what are you doing?' He knew whenever his anger was provoked, it was potentially dangerous. He had seen it lash out before, and every day at Hogwarts whenever Severus decided to make an entrance.
A dangerously quiet tone entered into his voice, startling him with its whisper.
"What more do you want from me Moony?"
It was completely silent; Remus did not know what to say to him.
"I screwed up, and blame myself enough without having your suppressed anger lashing out occasionally." He paused again, the intense look on his face scrunching up his brows and he turned his head to the left slightly, looking away from him.
"Why don't you just do it now, let it all out, let out all these frustrations you have towards my screwed up nature so that it never plagues you again!"
Remus felt the guilt creep in, it was rather unfair of him to prolong this incident over him, but didn't he have a right to be upset? Remus wanted nothing more than to vent his anger out, to release its hold over him but…he couldn't. He did not know how.
The yelling wasn't helping; it just made him want to scream louder, to pull his hair out, and to tear at his face with insanity for what he could not decipher. What did he want to do? Remus didn't know. He found he was silent for too long.
"Forget about it," he heard himself speak, "I'm just moody before the full tomorrow."
He snorted incredulously, "All right, I'll buy that, for now." He fixed Remus with an intense look, as if daring him to pull that one again. "Right, it's just moody moony tonight. Nothing else, and nothing less."
He looked down, shame once again sending goosebumps down his arms; he then decided to crack this tense atmosphere.
Remus broke a wide smile, "All right then,'he cleared his throat with an announcing noise. 'let's see that motor bike of yours!"
He looked at him for a brief moment, and then decided to shelve this anger for a bit, and all traces of it disappeared. His grin was white, and flashing. Snapping his fingers together, a black leather jacket materialized before him and fell on his outstretched arm. He pulled sunglasses seemingly out of air and set them over his eyes. Pulling the jacket sleeves over his shoulders, he represented the perfect picture of your classic bad boy. He smiled a lady-killer smile, "Let's go."
I had no idea where this reckless idea would take us, but it would save me the guilt I would rather not face. Oh Sirius, why do you make me feel so bad? Why must every action be explained? I turned and looked at your face; you were staring with that intense black stare that reminded me of that morning, in the Hospital Wing. You see everything, don't you?
That's right, turn around, avert that staring gaze from me, try to ignore the strong smell of leather pressed againstmy chest as I straddle your hips on the bike, try to not feel the silver zipper bite into my arm, and resist thinking which deer this leather had been skinned from. Instead Remus Lupin, focus on the scent of the leather, of the smell rising through your nostrils and dub it to Sirius, smell the soft shampoo that proved that he had showered before coming over. Don't stare like an idiot at your hands, do something with them, hold on, to something.
"Er- Padfoot?"
"Yeah?" He seemed preoccupied, probably dreaming up this little ride of his, he obviously wasn't affected by thinking too much, trying to analyze a situation that didn't need it, or pondering the unique smell of leather and shampoo that smelled of citrus. Weren't dog shampoos scented citrus? Thinking too much again, Remus. He realized he didn't continue the conversation.
He fumbled with words, somehow, 'Where do I put my hands?' didn't sound too right in his head, and instead, he said: "Where do I hang on?"
He laughed, as if hearing his mental dilemma, "Around my middle, prat, where else?"
Remus slowly did as he was bid, sliding his hands across the black leather, feeling the smooth texture under his fingertips. The leather seemed to hum, almost purr under his subtle caress. He awkwardly reached around Sirius's stomach and felt the slight movement of each breath he took. He found the rising of Sirius's chest fascinating. His hands found each other and clutched in front of Sirius's chest. He found his head pressed up against his back and the leather was soft against his cheek, he wanted to massage his cheek against it, what an absurd thought. Instead, he held his hands over Sirius awkwardly, afraid to let them fall into an uncompromising situation, that would lead to an embarrassment that was entirely unnecessary.
Sirius's body heat was quite the throbbing one, he wondered if he was the same, or if anyone was. He usually avoided this sort of contact.
"Where are we going, exactly?" He almost gulped with the obvious nerves that bubbled at his throat.
"Nervous are we?"
"Bloody terrified."
He laughed, the sound rumpled through his throat, and he pressed himself closer to the leather. He felt the sound soak into him, and then the hum of the bike began. It vibrated underneath him, and rose with a frightening speed. The light beamed on suddenly, bright and unyielding. He felt a pulling in his navel, similar to a portkey, when the next thing he felt, was amazing.
The wind pushed his headline back, opening his mouth and he let out a huge, "Whoop!" of delight. He didn't know something could be this fun; he clutched tighter to the warm body in front of him, and yelled into the air, the wind rushing around them in an adrenaline rush. He felt the cool wind bite, yet not bit aganist him, felt each strong caress lacing him like a lover's promise, and he threw his head back and yelled through the growing altitiude.
Sirius heard Remus's laugh, and smiled his lady-killer smile for all the night sky to see, and for Remus to feel.
A/N: Okay, wondering where i was going to put this little brainfart of mine...I guess I sort of make little stand alone fics that somehow fit together. Don't expect a series or any congragation of chapters that follow a plot...sorry. I once started one, and never got past the prolouge. Something about a thought-out story really kills the thrill or enlightenment of writing before I even touch the keyboard.