THIS SHALL NEVER COME TO PASS AS LONG AS I BREATHE

I WONT ALLOW IT!

Today's special shall feature a main plot of Zim discovering the truth AND BELIEVING it, with a side order of Tallest romance. To which I plan on squashing fairly quickly. Thanks to all my kind reviewers especially Dibthe1 or something you know who you are. The one who wrote the essay like reviews? Yeah, and in response to some one saying "Dib is thirteen!" or whatever if you listen to the commentary Daniel Kanic (I think that's her name), a writer mentioned that Dib is in forth grade. So there you go. I wasn't picking on you just defending myself. Once again you guys have been so kind and understanding that it was a joke. Thanks. :D

The Sad, Sad, Annoying Truth

Tallest Red and Tallest Purple sat in their lounge slurping on the Irken equivalent of Slushies. They laughed as they crammed more food down their throats and took long slurps of their beverages. This was their entire existence sit in comfortable chairs and eat snacks. The life of a Tallest was a good one. They towered over everyone physically and metaphorically. Of course that made their lives lonely. But at least they had each other.

The two stopped munching and gazed into each other's eyes. Red and Purple became enthralled in the sight of the deep lovely eyes they were gazing into. Still staring into Red's eyes Purple snuck a donut into his mouth and continued the passionate stare. Suddenly the big screen television in front of them flashed on. They tore their eyes away from each other.

On the screen there was a skinny orange haired man glaring at them. His glasses narrowed with his eyes. He just slowly moved his head from side to side and merely said two words. They were harsh and powerful and conveyed an entire tangent rant.

"Hell. No." then the screen went black again. Red looked around as if coming out from a spell, "Oh yeah…you're my best friend and nothing more."

"Yeah." Purple said grabbing another donut.

"Purple." Red said glancing around, "That was weird…"

"Shah, iw wa' weir'" he said through a mouthful of snacks. (A/N: I actually researched that sentence by cramming my mouth full of food and saying it. So that was accurate messed up speech. See no one can say I don't do my research.)

Zim laughed triumphantly at whatever half-baked plan he had come up with. The plan wasn't important anyway. The drama is what counts! Zim looked around and found Gir sitting on the floor playing with a piggy plush. The little robot wasn't wearing his disguise but was still ubber (ubber super) adorable! His big aqua eyes glowed with joy.

"GIR!" Zim screamed. The robot dropped his toy, saluted, and had his eyes turn red, "Yes my master!"

"I've come up with a new amazing plan that is amazingly amazing to an amazing head exploded level of great amazingness! (I just wanted to see how many times I could cram the word amazing into a sentence. Apparently five.) I'm about to call the All Mighty Tallest and tell them about my newest and most diabolical plan to destroy all humans! So. Do not disturb me. Why not go to the upper level and monitor earth broadcast." The little robot squealed with joy. But unfortunately got over excited, and his head exploded (A/N: don't worry kids! ;D He's okay!). Zim sighed, he have to fix gir later. The alien turned to face the computer and commanded it, "Computer contact the Tallest!"

"Do I have to?" it asked in an annoyed voice.

"Computer!" he hissed. There was a sighing noise and the screen came on showing the Tallest both yanking on a piece of Twisler. They caught sight of Zim just watching them. Red glanced over at Purple, kneed him and stole the candy. He shoved it in his mouth.

"What is it Zim?" Red asked after he finished.

"I just wanted to tell you about my new and evil plan to destroy all life on earth."

"Yeah, uh…" Purple said glancing over at Red, "We thought we should tell you this now, Zim, despite the fact it's likely to just bring you back begging for a real chance to prove yourself. You're on a fake mission."

"Eh?" Zim squeaked.

"Yeah," continued Red, (gotta give them a fair share of lines), "It's a fake and now we shall hang up and leave you to go through a boring monolog of despair and melodramaticness." With that the screen turned off.

Zim's eyes got big and filled with tears as it always does at this point. (A/N: We're going to ignore the fact that Irkens are ALLERGIC to WATER! Yeah just take that blind folded leap of faith in the author's ability to make a good story despite that major plot hole. Just ignore it. YOURE NOT IGNORING IT! Why? Why common sense? Sigh, oh well.)

Zim sobbed like a little girl, "Oh why! Why my Tallest? Oh! The woe and misery and woe too! Heavy sighs and other stuff of that nature!" he cried out being about as melodramatic as predicted. Zim looked around silent for a moment then turned to the author, "Hey, where's the Dib?" Author shrugs.

Out side the base

Dib kneeled over his laptop, which was on the sidewalk in front of him, "No way!" he shook his GARGANRUAN(!) head violently, "This is waaay too Ooc!" he begins typing, "But look at all these stories saying I'm supposed to go in there and comfort him! Are you kidding? I want to see his intestines strewn over an autopsy table! Does comforting him sound like the kind of thing I would do! Huh? HUH!" Dib screamed to no one in particular.

A former writer for Zim slunk into the story and handed Dib a few sheets of paper and disappeared around a corner, "What!" he screamed in horror, "This was almost a real episode." He pauses, "Eh, not the Tallest thing but me comforting Zim? Thank you merciful…who ever I prey to, for this ep never being put into production. If it had…people think that there are a lot of ZADRs now?" he reached into his pocket and pulled out a lighter and set fire to the script.

"This little unmade ep. isn't going to get out now." But unfortunately for Dib. It was too late. In the time it took him to burn the original script over six new ZADRs have been created.

"NO!" he screamed (again with da screams, think I'd come up with a new adjective by now. But NOPE!) then closed his laptop, "Oh well. Well I'm still not going in there to help." And walked away with what little dignity he had left after aiding in the creation of now, eight new ZADRs by screaming out loud the true but disturbing…truth.

But now the reader must wonder, "But without Dib to help! How-how will Zim get all happy and have a weird creepy romance with a kid! Huh? HOW! DEAR GOD I HAVE TO KNOW! TELL MEEEEE!" well chill out and take your meds. Let's check in with the crying and the drama and da sadness and crying, now let's see what has become of the once mighty invader Zim oh what has happened!

In the home base

Zim sat on the couch with Gir sucking on some alien candy watching the angry monkey show. Just suck, suck, sucking on da sugary treat. Zim! How are you not crying depressed! Tell the reader or risk their brains turning to mush with abusing the brain cells by trying to figure out what happened. Tell us please Zim!"

"Eh? Oh, I got over it. I've realized the tallest were joking. Good one too. Now. GET OUT OF MY HOUS NARRATOR PERSON!" laser and claws faced the writer (dat's me!) who had to grab her computer and flee.

THERE WILL BE ANOTHER CHAPTER WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT…

Yeah, that was cool…I got to be in there for no reason. Scary isn't it that they almost made an ep called "mopeness of doom?" I'm sort of grateful they got cancelled before the characters could be abused like that. Well thanks for the reviews and ideas. And remember as long as there are over used stories that annoy you (and me) I'll write my little spoofs! Oh and if you don't review I'm get sick and die and we don't want that do we? flutters eyelashes oh you do? Well shut up! I wont so there! Hmm…uh could you just review before I write something truly bizarre? Thanks –Invading Angel.