A/N: This will be a Cruz/Bosco fic, just not yet have to tie up some things first, meaning I have to think how I want them to get together, and him and Ashley is a one time deal. Two people who just happened to be there, and both suck at comforting people, so they did the next best thing. This chapter is again Ashley based because the next few chaps are going to be involving Bos and Cruz, with a very little Ashley thrown in.Okay more than a little cause she is arranging them getting together but i promise one full chapter with nothing but Bosco/Cruz in it, maybe even a little sex who knows.
Shock was an understatement to what she was feeling but she couldn't help herself kissing back. She sometimes wondered what it would be like to kiss him but never acted on it because she didn't want to break up the good thing they had going on.
She didn't like him like that, never did sure he was gorgeous as hell but that did nothing for her.
His mouth angled over hers again this time deepening as his hands came around to her back traveling up and down. She couldn't help it when her arms slowly made their way up to his shoulders then his enclosed around his neck and angled her head to further deepen the kiss. No this was wrong. She pulled away trying to catch her breath, walking away from him.
"What hell just happened?" her fingers coming up to mouth still swollen from his kiss
"I think we just kissed" wondering why the hell he just did that.
"I'd say"
"It was nice" no he wasn't supposed to say that
"It was but I don't want it to ruin what we have going"
"I know what you mean" she couldn't help but notice that he was moving towards her again and she wasn't stepping back either.
"So we should never do that again"
"Oh I wouldn't say never" he pulled her back into his embrace
"I'm saying never"
"That's a horrible" his face inches from hers
"No its not"
"Oh yes it is" his breath fanning her face and neck, she tried to swallow the sudden lump in her throat.
"We shouldn't"
"Mmhmm" he kissed her, slowly and thoroughly leaving none of her mouth unexplored.
She still knew that she should stop him but she couldn't and every thought slipped from her head as he picked her up and carried her to the bedroom.
As surprisingly enough nothing changed between them, they were still as close as ever and could finally put that what if behind them. They were transferred to Anti-Crime the next day, the tension was so thick between him and Cruz you could cut through it with a knife. She tried her best to keep them apart, to keep the tension up so when they did talk, they would be less mad at her and more at each other, cause she knew she couldn't get them together being behind the scenes. It maybe was time to call in reinforcements, her mind went through a mental list of who she could ask. The only people they both interacted with was herself and Stan. But how would she explain it to Stan how they met, he knew they were cops, but he didn't know his new waitress was. Hmm more thinking was to be had on her part.
He seemed distant today as they sat in an unmarked waiting for of theirs to make a sell, it'd been a slow morning and something was eating him up inside.
"Penny for your thoughts" maybe if she scared him with niceness he'd give her the answer, only realizing after he had said it.
"Just thinking" okay something was definitely up when he only answered with one or two word answers.
"About?"
"Things" she'd had enough of this
"Either you tell me what the hell your thinking about or we sit here until you do, your choice"
"I'm also warning you that I will get cranky when I don't have food in me, so c'mon tell me"
"I think I'm still in love with her" she didn't expect that
"Who Faith?"
"No" ohh, this meant her plan might actually work and he might not be mad at her after all once this whole thing went down.
The radio balking to life on the dashboard stopped her from thinking. The woman they were just talking about spoke
"We got one" She started the car and he put the cherry in place nabbing the guy.
Ashley was changing grateful their shift finally over all she wanted to do was go home and soak in a nice hot bubble bath, but that would have to wait she had too many things to do. And Bosco liked to hog the bathroom on more than one occasion he'd come out smelling like her bubble bath. She was curious to see what he would say if she let it slip in front of the men in here. She smiled black mail was definitely sweet, maybe she could use it to get him to start cleaning up after himself, and for once leave the god damn toilet seat down.
She shut her locker and turned to leave only to run into a solid wall of chest. She looked up to see who was in her way. His black eye had healed nicely, she'd have to hit harder next time, there would be a next time, he liked getting on her nerves.
"You look nice today Ash," whoa what the hell was he on
"Thanks you don't look so bad yourself"
"You doing anything later?" the world was seriously coming to an end, if he'd just asked her out
"Ya"
"That's a shame, I thought we could go grab something to eat"
"What's up?" she crossed her arms across her chest looking at him with annoyance.
"Nothing, just thought it was silly for us to be fighting all the time"
"You should have thought that before you tried to have me committed" she picked up her bag off the bench beside them, he blocked her exit purposely. This was becoming lame real fast.
"I agree, that's not what you do to a person you love" ha he loved her, she'd believe that when hell froze over.
"Ahh so you call that love not trying to get money?"
"That was foolish on my part, I truly am sorry" what was his deal? Why be so nice all of sudden, he wasn't like this
"You need money" pissed off that, that's all she was to him.
"Only a couple of grand, I made some bad decisions"
"I don't believe this" she shook her head ready to push or deck him if he didn't let her leave.
"Get out of my way" he didn't budge, she sat her bag down, positioning herself so she could hit him.
"Since when did you become like this?" he knew he was pushing it, her eyes looking at him with a murderous rage. He did love her, he needed the money then, if not they were going to kill him, so he staged a few things to make it look like she was crazy even fed her hallucinogens, that was wrong of him, if she did that to him, he wouldnt be talking to her, he had respect for her on so many levels. He wanted her back but she would never go back to him, he knew that. If she couldn't love him, he at least wanted to be her friend, like Boscorelli was, if she'd let him.
"You bring it out in me, now get the fuck out of my way" he had lost, his excuse about needing money failed, she didn't want anything to do with him and he couldn't blame her. He stepped back allowing her to pass.
Her of all people he would come to ask for money, what an asshole. How could he think that she would give him the money? Did she have a sign on her forehead that read 'it's ok I liked to be used?' Well she refused to be that way anymore. She went down the stairs trying to fool proof her plan of getting them together. Why the hell was Bosco anyways he'd taken off right after shift, no doubt to Stan's knowing full well who worked there.
A voice she didn't want to hear anytime soon stopped her. A little louder than needed.
"Your sleeping with him aren't you?" she finished her descent down the stairs, knowing that he followed her down, she turned to face him.
"Who?" she had a guess who but she wanted to see what he would say
"BOSCO YOUR SLEEPING WITH HIM AREN'T YOU?" She saw Faith coming down the stairs on one side and Bosco on the other set across from them. She looked him right in his eye
"No, I don't get involved with my partners unlike some people" she glanced at Faith before walking out the door into the frigid night.
Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on
She heard footsteps behind her, dreading to know who it was, she didn't want to talk to anyone, see anyone or listen to anyone, she had to talk to Stan before she forgot.
"Would you like to talk?" some guy she'd never seen before started walking beside her.
"No" she continued walking, trying to get the guy to get the hint and leave her alone.
"It's not good to keep those problems in that pretty little head of yours"
"Never had a problem before" what was this guys problem? Was he plain stupid or ignoring her hints
"I wanna help" she stopped and faced him, she had to admit, he was good looking probably freezing because he was only wearing a t-shirt.
"You really wanna help?" He nodded "Then leave me alone" she started walking again this time he wasn't following her.
"One day your going to need my help"
She laughed as she continued, a tear slipping down her cheek.
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
She didn't feel like talking to Stan right now, so she went for a little drive and ended up at a park looking into the ocean below her, no one was around her, the moon barely creating light. Why did she have to have all the problems?
I told you everythingOpened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
Case I can't breathe
No, I cant sleep
I'm barely hangin' on
Maybe that guy was right, keeping all her problems inside wasn't a good idea, she could feel them taking their toll on her, teasing her, wanting her to crack. Sometimes she just wanted to scream, kick, punch, throw things most of the time she did. It helped somewhat but only to a certain extent. They couldn't take away the pain she felt sometimes. Not even alcohol did that anymore, that's why she stopped drinking.
She didn't want to be alone anymore but who was she to be with? Bosco? No he was in love with Cruz, she was happy for him, finding his one and only. What about David? No that road had already been taken, and she didn't want to go there again.
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Ugh! Men! People! There should be a limit of how stupid you could be. She'd certain be over the limit, letting people use her for their own personal gain, because she didn't know any better. Why did this have to be so complicated?
Swallow me then, spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you kills me now
No I don't cry on the outside anymore
Anymore…
She was done feeling sorry for herself.
"Looks like you could use a friend" the guy who accused her of needing his help walked up beside her places his arms on the fence overlooking the water.
"I don't need any friends" glad that he couldn't see her face, she didn't want him to see her cry
"Everyone needs friends"
"Not me"
"Even you"
"And by being my friend this isn't some way to get into my pants?" every guy was the same always looking for a good lay.
"Very small, you are quite attractive but I will refrain myself until your ready"
"Your full of self"
"Quite Possibly My eyes are brown, now what's got you so worked up?"
"Things, people, everything" he dug into his pocket and produced a small round shape. He took her hand and placed the object in her hand closing her fingers around it.
"A penny for your thoughts" she opened her hand to see a battered penny in her outstretched palm. She smiled, no one had ever done something so corny for her before.
"Well to help my problem, you'll have to know my life history"
"I've got all night" and so she began telling her history, she didn't think it would be easy for her to tell a complete stranger her problems but then he wouldn't judge her like people she worked with would. He listened to her and added in reassuring comments when he felt she needed them, she learned a little about him, when it was hard for her to talk about it, she'd even told him about her grandmother which surprised cause she hadn't even told Bosco about that.
She opened her door, at the crack of dawn, hoping to get at least an hours sleep before she had to go to work, her hopes were gone when she opened the door to a pacing Bosco looking worried, his face didn't change as he looked at her.
"Where the hell have you been? I was worried sick" this was something new for her, she never had anyone waiting up for her to make sure she got home alright.
"That is none of your business, Bubble Man" she walked past him into her bedroom, stripping off her clothes as she went, she wasn't ashamed Bosco had seen it before. He followed her into her bedroom so she stopped stripping when she got to her bra and panties. Climbing into bed she ignored everything that he was saying and closed her eyes.
For the first time in a long time she was happy.
A/N: so what do you think? Song credits go to Behind These Hazel Eyes by Kelly Clarkson.