Who would believe this would be acceptable? Hmm? WHO!

What it you? I bet it was you!

Hello my filthies, have you missed your beloved authory girl thing…me? Now that I have lured you all in to a false sense of security over the last seven or so chapters I can finally revel this is not a story but a clever plot to destroy the world! HA! You had no idea that you were being recruited did you? Well you were. Now grab your pointy objects and meet me in the park by the old water fountain, you know the one I'm talking about, at five 'til midnight. I will not divulge any more details about the plan until then. But so as to appease you my faithful troops of doom I shall post another chapter to amuse you while you tick away the seconds before we can launch the master plan to doom this world! Ha, ha! Be patient my filthy children and enjoy the latest chapter.

The sad, sad story of Zita/Dib romance.

So sad, so evil, so Out Of Character…

Zita stood in front of the bathroom mirror. She held up her spiky purple hair with a hand and pushed the hair glue through it. She turned her head from side to side to make sure that it remained vertical. Zita nodded in approval and smiled a little at her reflection. She slung her bag over her shoulder and began to leave when one of her friends dashed in, "Zita!" the anonymous character cried happily.

"What?" she asked stepping back. The friend had an overexcited twitchy look on her face that could only be one of two things, crack or some thing extraordinarily awesome.

"I just got this!" she thrust something into Zita's face. It was a spiral coin attacked to a thin piece of string. Zita's purple eyes remained trained blankly on it. The friend pouted a little, she wasn't getting the significance, "It's a hypno-coin. My dad got it for me last night. It's supposed to really work!"

"Like magic?" Zita asked cocking an eyebrow. Her mind zipped to thoughts of Dib. He would probably have way more interest than she would.

"No!" her friend retorted, "It's a scientifically designed mechanism. It was made by this one guy to hypnotize magician's assistance into telling if she had been steeling hypno coins!" she waited for enthusiasm to come but it did not. Zita just stared at her. The girl's smile faded into a mild glare, "Just watch the coin so that I can hypnotize you!" she flicked it and the coin began to rotate and spiral all hypnotizy-like.

Instantly Zita's eyes turned into spirals. Her friend glanced around, she could mess with Zita all she wanted! Her friend would have no chance but to obey. What should it be… a thought struck her. It was so funny and perfect she was almost too giddy to unleash it. She said through a fit of giggles, "Uh, giggle, Zita! Giggle, giggle, giggle, You will discover your true feelings for Dib are… THAT YOU LOVE HIM! Now you wont remember this and it will only kick in when… OH! I know. It will only kick in when you see Dib in class yelling at ZIM!" she went into another giggle fit, "And you wont be able to stop thinking about him until you kiss him!" She finished excitedly. Then the evil girl snapped her fingers and Zita's eyes returned to normal. She blinked a few times the gasped when the bell rang, "Crap! We're late, come on!" the two raced out, "You can try to hypnotize me later!" the friend's cheeks felt as though they were about to burst from holding in the laughter.

Zita slid into her chair unnoticed. Zim was screaming in Dib's face. His purplish alien saliva was wetting Dib's face. The boy's eyes were narrowed in rage. Anybody who looked at him could have guessed there was a storm of rage just waiting to erupt in one giant scream. Zim finished his rant with a I'm-so-damn-great smug look. Dib opened his mouth with Zim cut him off and said, "Also you and your entire species has a hygiene problem which is why you all are so disgusting and smelly! And…" Zim continued his mad rant while Dib stood up his right eye twitching uncontrollably.

Zita pulled out a book and began to thumb through it lazily. Dib took a few heavy breaths then screamed, "SHUT UP YOU MORON!" he scream filled the room. Nobody really cared or reacted except Zita. The book fell from her grasp hitting the floor with a loud CLUNK! Her eyes grew wide and Dib's voice echoed him her mind. It felt as though it were dripping down from her head to her heart like some wonderful thing-syrup-stuff! Her heart felt warm and her insides felt like they were melting but in a good way not like they would if some on were to melt her organs with a laser.

She sighed and smiled at Dib. The bigheaded boy dropped back into his chair still seething. He glared over at Zim and accidentally caught the eye of Zita. She smiled blissfully and waved slowly at him. Dib cocked an eyebrow. Her insides were boiling she couldn't take it any more!

"AIEEE!" she screamed and leapt from her seat, a wild look in her light purple eyes. She pounced on the defenseless Dib creature. Zim watched with mild interest while the class stared in wide mouthed shock. Someone as cool as Zita acting like that, it couldn't happen (how right they are)!

She fluttered her eyelashes at Dib, "I want to kiss you like you've never been kissed before!"

"Well. This would be the first time I was kissed by a human…so that's like never before." He said from under her because she was still sitting on his chest. She grabbed Dib's cheeks and smashed her lips in to his in a hard but in some freaky way affectionate way. Dib just sat there, wide eyed; letting her kiss him when suddenly she froze. A spiral appeared in her mind's eye. She saw it spinning, spinning; spinning…as it twirled the light feeling disappeared to be replaced with cold horror as she looked at the boy who she was now connected at the mouth with. She screamed as though he were on top of her. Zita scrambled away from him, "Wha-what? Why! Ew!" she looked around and began to lick a book to get the Dib out of her mouth. He just stared at her. She had just jumped him and now she was freaking out! This was too weird; there was only one explanation.

"ZIM!" Dib hissed pointing a pointy finger at the Irken.

"Dib!" he growled. The two glared at each other.

"You did that! You made Zita kiss me!" he accused.

"HA!" Zim retorted, "Not even Irken technology is powerful enough to make some thing want to touch you!"

"Zim!"

"Dib!" (Again. This goes on for a while.)

"Zim!" Dib repeated while Zita began to lick the filthy tile floor, which in her mind was better than Dib.

THE END FOR ZITA! (The floor was toxic. She is dead.)

Oh. It's horrible… I did not realize how bad it had gotten. Alright let me start by saying, as you probably guessed, I'm completely self-absorbed! I like me! I understand me…I make me laugh. Me and I get along so well so I basically ignore everyone else in existence. So finally pulling me away from myself I went to read some one else's fic and…THERES NOTHING BUT ZADRS! NOTHING! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN! I mean it's like in one of those crappy sci fi movies where you're battling some ultimate even and get flung into the future to see that it had devastated the world already. Your death would be in vain… (I am a good drama queen, no?) But what I'm saying is there is no time to gather as a whole. You must carry out your missions on your own my hideous minions! You guys have got to start writing fics too. I don't care if you suck as a writer you need to take over part of this site for the non-romantic and non-slash! Join me! Join me, my disgusting, ugly allies! Help me help sanity. JOIN ME! Oh and remember those sharp objects I told you to collect earlier. Well keep those on hand for the next mission. That will be the fun one. The fun VIOLENT one. I know. You cannot wait, but you must try! (Oh and the DAZR lovers who can take a joke so your reading this…uh…well I'm sorry that I feel this way but it makes me feel unclean to see all those. Sorry.)

Also I've never read one of these Zita/Dib fics. I hope I mocked them to a standard that the Invading Angel brand name has become affiliated with. See I only parody things that annoy me and despite the fact I have never read one the idea does not appeal to me. I sincerely hope parodying something I've never read doesn't make me a sell out. –Invading Angel