A/N: A lot of thoughts were running through my head, about alternate reality 's and such. My cousin was killed on Saturday (July 9th) her and i were close so it really made me think. Sorry it took so long to update but while had other things on my mind. Hopefully other haptes will be up soon.

Little Recap

She felt like she had only shut her eyes minutes ago when knocking on the door, slowly pulled her from dream world. The knocking wouldn't stop so she was forced t get up to make it go away. Bosco wasn't going o get up to answer it. She opened the door to find someone she hadn't seen in a long time.

"Hello Ashley"

"Hello Mother"

10 Seconds Later

"What are you doing here?" her mother looked high but she couldn't say for sure, her husband stood off to her side, wearing a business suit, at least her mother had done something right in her life for once, married into money.

"We need to talk" she now hated those words, heard them to many times, she knew she wasn't going to get rid of her unless they talked so she stepped back, to open the door. She glanced down and realized what she was wearing one of Bosco's shrts and pajama's pants, she just woke up for goodness sake.

"Can I get you two anything to drink?" they looked at each other, her mother's eyes were glistened and she knew the news wasn't good.

"No" her mother and her husband had sat on the couch leaving her to take the chair, she sat waiting for the news, explanations whirling around her head.

"Late last night you sister was in a car accident and she didn't make it" her sister as dead? How come they didn't get the call, was it out of her range?

"Where?"

"She was on Ralph heading home" her sister's house was just out of her range. They wouldn't have gotten the call anyways.

"What happened?" the news still not sinking in, still thinking that she was going to wake up any second now. She stared at her mother, waiting for her to stay ok Ashley time to wake up now. Or ha ha fooled you, she's safe and alive at home with her husband and kids. The moment didn't come.

"A car ran a red light t-boning yours sister, making her go into run into a transport truck head on" You don't make it out alive if you hit a transport, your car becomes nothing more than a big piece of metal with you in it. You were lucky that you died instantly so you didn't know what happened. She was glad that she didn't suffer.

"When is the funeral?" she hadn't cried in front of her mother since she was seven and didn't plan to start again. She swallowed, her mouth dry, she needed a drink.

"Do you mind if I had a drink?" and she wasn't talking about water either.

Her mother shook her head no, she almost ran to the kitechen and down the liquid in record time.

Bosco stood with his head against the door, he didn't know how Ashley was feeling from all of this, when he lost his brother he felt like screaming and kicking and hiting things, but he drank until he forgot who his brother was and even who he was. He also forgotten how he gotten home and that scared the shit out of him so much, he never got that drunk again. He knew what she was doing and he wanted nothing more than to comfort her but he knew he had to stay in her bedroom and wait for her mother and step father to leave. He would only complicate things if he went out in only boxers, even dressed would make things even worse. So he stayed put, putting what he wanted to say to her together that way he wouldn't have to have any awkward silences. The more he thought of things the more the words didn't seem right. The talking was quieter and he couldn't quite make it out, so he got dressed. He tried to look between the door, but proved that wasn't a smart idea when she opened the bedroom door hitting him in the head.

"Oww" he was bent over holding his head.

"Are you ok?" She rushed to him, trying to see his head, he was whining like a big baby. She pushed him on the bed and removed his hand from his wound, nothing too serious just a little bump. She ran her thumb over the bump and he winced

"Does it hurt?"

"Yes" she kissed it and he didn't wince, so she kissed his eyebrow, then his eye, his cheeks then the corner of his mouth then his lips. His hands went to her waist slowly making their way up under her shirt.

She watched him sleeping, knowing she didn't have a lot of time before he had to wake up and they would go to work, she just wondered how they got to be how they were, was it pre destined from birth or did you create a personality giving your surroundings? Was life all predestined? Did you deep down know which decision to make, which way to turn, how to react to situations, everything. How did you really know what to do? She watched him sleep his face lost in a dream. She wondered what he was dreaming of. Was it good or bad? She brushed hair out of his eyes, she didn't know if he knew or not, the walls were pretty thin around here. So she guessed he did, that's why she hit him in the head earlier, nothing remained of that incident, the swelling had gone down and the colour returned to normal. She wasn't going to cry she told her self. Sure her sister was dead but what was she to do? Cry? Scream? Shout? Beg for something to change when it couldn't?

How were her niece and nephew doing, they may be too young to understand what was going on they were only 7 and 9 what about Robert her husband? How was he holding up? She'd go over and see if there was anything that she could do to help ease the pain.

She stood in front of the bathroom mirror looking at the reflection, pondering the idea of another universe where the dead went on living as if they had never died but how would they go on without thinking about where their families were? What if they lived in only memories ,the good ones that kept replaying over and over again. She wanted to know but wasn't going to cause anything to find out. She jumped when he places his hands on her bare shoulders. She looked in the mirror seeing him for the first time. She snapped back into reality, he wasn't going to feel sorry for her. She walked out of the bathroom in search of clean clothes.

The day seemed to drag on forever, a slow day. Or maybe it was to her, the hours seemed to drag on but they were finally done and she took her own car today, she was going to see her brother in law and niece and nephew. She hadn't seen either in a couple years, so this was going to be weird and awkward. She knocked on the door, the street seemed abnormally quiet for the time being, with only a slight breeze taking off the steady rising heat. The weather man said it was going to be close to 90 degrees out and it was probably hotter, she glanced around and saw the heat coming off the pavement. She could feel the sweat starting to run down her back, why wouldn't they answer. She knocked again still hearing nothing, she walked around to the garage, Robert's vehicle was in the drive way, so she continued around the back. Nothing, where were they? She looked in back door, she only saw darkness, she knocked on the door, still nothing, dread pooled in her stomach, something was definitely wrong.

She put her elbow through the glass, no alarm sounded, which was unusual. She put her hand through the broken window and unlocked the door. She felt like she was in a horror movie, where something was waiting for her around every corner. She knew better than to call out, that gave away her position, she should call for backup but that would only alert the person who was in here. Ever since she'd been partnered with Bosco, she carried an off duty piece around her ankle. Thankful for it now, she bent down and pulled it out of his holder. She took the safety off, praying she wouldn't have to use it.

She started to go up the stairs sticking to the wall side, knowing that the middle of the stair were the most used, so the sides wouldn't creak. She made it to the master bedroom first, it was neat and tidy. She moved on to her niece's room, she wasn't prepared with what she saw, both Rachael and Nathan were huddled into a corner, their father in front of them holding a gun.

"Please daddy no" she saw the pool of blood between them. Whoever had lost that much blood, was lucky to be alive barely hanging on, she saw Nathan's limp body, behind Rachael he needed help now if it wasn't already too late. Rachael looked her way, and Ashley shook her head no, hoping Rachael wouldn't give away her position. Too late, Robert had noticed what she was staring at and turned around.

"Robert put the gun down" he pointed the gun at her, adrenaline rushing through her veins.

"No, they have to die just like their mother" if she'd learned anything from her training it's to keep the gunman talking and the gun pointed away from anyone but yourself. Also keep using their names, they hated that.

"Why Robert?"

"They were the reasons she was leaving" he wasn't wel she could see it in the way he was standing, he needed some serious help

"No daddy" he positioned himself so he could keep the gun on both of them. Not good.

"What did they do Robert that made her leave?" her eyes focused on the gun.

"She didn't want them to hear us fight anymore" he kept waving the gun around, she was afraid that he would pull the trigger accidentally. Injuring one of them. The blow could be deadly

"What were you fighting about Robert?" her gazed moving from the gun to him,

"That's personal"

"Robert, I cant help you if you don't tell me" his face went out of this world to a death stare, she'd said the wrong words.

"We don't need help, thank you for stopping by" he grabbed Rachael by the arm and dragged him in front of him. Narrowing her odds if she had to shoot him. He knew that that's why he bent down, so Rachael's body shielded his. She had to time it perfectly, knowing that it was the only way he would have to die so she could get help. She didn't like silence it allowed the emptiness to settle in, it was now or never Nathan would needed help now if he was still alive. She didn't know if Rachael knew what she was going to do but, within a second Rachael pulled all her weight down giving her the shot she needed and she took it, it hit him right between the eyes. He collapsed instantly, take Rachael with him, she quickly pulled off his arm allowing Rachael to get up and went over to Nathan. She checked for a pulse. It was barely three, there was no time to call for a bus. She would have to take him herself, the first task at hand was getting him to wake up.

"Rachael go grab me as many towels as you can, the biggest you can find"

"Ok" she took off

Ashley picked up the boy carefully, wrapping him in the towels Rachael brought her, Rachael ran ahead of her to open the door, for her, Rachael climbed in, she couldn't get over how calm Rachael was behaving, her insides were a mess. She stayed calm on the outside for Rachael and so far it had worked. She laid him down in the back, Rachael began talking to him about the things she's done even though, he'd already heard them. She wished she was in a cop car, that way she could speed and everyone would get out of her way, but so far the traffic had been good.

She watched form the window as the doctors worked on him, he had to be ok, she didn't think she could forgive herself if he wasn't. Rachael was clinging to her side. Reality dawned on her she needed to make a few calls, one to her mother, one to his mother, and one to the authorities. There was a dead man in a house that could be broken into from her breaking the window.

Everything was taken care of, both mother's called, the authorities alerted and Nathan was in surgery, the bullet had bounced off his rib and was situated somewhere inside his body. She hadn't really paid attention after the doctor's said he was going to be ok. She felt like she should stay and wait but she wanted to get away from it all. That wasn't the right thing to do, she battled the rotten coffee the hospital brewed even, attempted to eat something with Rachael but her stomach churned, everyone looked at her weird because she had dried blood on her shirt. Nathan's blood and a little of Robert's blood spatter on her face, but she had wiped that off long ago. She wasn't going to allow herself to grieve her sister wouldn't want that, somehow since that little episode she had with Robert earlier, that her death wasn't an accident. She just had to prove that somehow Robert staged it to look like an accident, she'd start the first time she got a chance, a couple of people owed her a few favors.

She had to think what way to start she just couldn't do one thing and go one way she had to go both. She'd look at the accident report, then go from there. Meaning that she would have to go to the 40th precinct and bribe someone to allow her to look at it, shouldn't be too hard she was a fellow cop, but she was the deceased sister. Some problems she definitely had to deal with. Maybe the later in the night she went the better because by around midnight everyone was a bit tired even having coming on shift an hour before. She said her goodbyes and her mother promised that she would call the moment, she knew anything, which actually made her think that her mother wasn't as bad as she thought she was. But then thought otherwise again, it was just one of her mother plays to get the hospital staff to think they everything was ok. Just to be sure she gave the nurse to call her with any updates. She didn't feel like driving, didn't think she had it in her, so she walked the streets, thankful that they had given back her off duty. They shouldn't have so quickly but hey she knew the officer that took it, she promised that she would return it first thing in the morning.

She needed to clear her head, she made her way to the park she went the night she met Hayden, a lot of things had changed since then and she was responsible for them. No one said it to her face but she was the reason why Cruz got shot, and she knew without a doubt she was the reason why Hayden left her, she had slept with David, her ex-husband for god's sake. Why was she good at alienating people?

"Because your afraid that someone will see the real you" what the fuck? She glanced beside her, a face she didn't expect to see, and she guessed she had spoken that last thought out loud.

"Come here often?" he stood beside her waiting for her reply

"No. What about you?"

"I come here when ever I'm stuck on a case"

"It seems I come here when I'm depressed"

"Really what are you depressed about?" he hoped she said because they weren't together because that's all he could think about

"My sister died last night and I had to kill my brother in law so his son wouldn't die"

"Ouch seems like you've had a bad day"

"It's a pretty normal day actually" she wasn't going to cry she said over and over. He couldn't see her if she did it was to dark out, the moon was playing hide and seek with the clouds.

"It's not everyday that you lose a sister"

"I lost her a long time ago" he didn't ask, she didn't elaborate

How many people knew that they were sisters? Did her friends even know she had a sister, a black sheep of the family? She would soon find out, when she went through with the funeral. Her friends would come or did she even have any? She felt something cold and smooth being placed in her hand, she didn't have to know what it was or what it meant, he wanted to know her thoughts.

"Just thinking about what needs to be done" she saw him nod

"You shouldn't do all this alone"

"Oh I'm not my mother probably is" he placed his arm around her shoulder and squeezed pulling her to him sideways, he kissed the top of her head

"I'm really a sorry for your loss"

"Ya me too" she rested her head on his shoulder and stood there for hours.