Here is the next chapter. I thank all those who reviewed. You all made me so happy. Tears in eyes. I won't keep you any longer. Read and review. See you after the story.
Dsiclaimer: I own nothing. WHY MUST YOU TORTURE ME?
I opened my eyes and found myself in a garden filled with all types of colorful flowers and vines. The scene was so beautiful that it glowed with magnificence . It took my breath away just to feel the cool breeze gently caress my face. It was as if I was in an imaginary world, a place that can never exist. A place where no pain existed, a place where you don't know the meaning of losing someone. I wasn't sure if I was standing or sitting, my eyes just captured the scenery like a camera or something. I was immediately torn from my thoughts as I heard something, a voice I was never to hear again. "Kagome. You can't catch me." The eerie voice flew around me with the wind. I spun around, desperately searching for the owner who owned that voice. I heard laughter and I spun towards it and I saw a little boy running in front of me. I recognized the little boy fast, so fast that my heart stopped beating. "Souta?" I whispered. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. My little brother was right in front of me that if I reached for him, he'd be in my arms. "Souta?" This time I yelled, wanting him to come to me. "Come on sis, come catch me." He laughed as he ran to the center of the garden and hid behind the flower bushes. His laughter was the most beautiful sound I ever heard. His smile lit his eyes, he was filled with so much life. I felt a smile spread across my face, I needed to get to him, to reunite. He came back to me, I can feel his presence. I ran to him at a slow pace, not being able to go any faster. I tried with all my heart and strength to go faster. "Souta, come to me. Don't run. Souta." I called for him as I tried to keep going. I finally came closer to the center and I heard him again, only this time it woke my fears. The once beautiful bright place turned dark and gray. The flowers were dead and the vines were filled with thorns. Dark clouds covered the white glowing sky. I was now in a place where being lost hit me most.
"Kagome, find me. I can't see you. Find me Kagome, I'm scared. I'm in the dark, I can't see you. Help me." His voice was distant and filled with fright. "I'm coming Souta. I'm coming. Where are you? Tell me where you are." I cried as I searched for him. I was going around in circles, I couldn't get to him.. "HELP ME!! FIND ME. TELL THEM TO LEAVE ME ALONE. KAGOME, I NEED YOU. FIND ME, I'M SCARED. . I CAN'T SEE, help me. Kagome. They won't leave me alone. They're hurting me." He cried hysterically, his voice disappearing quickly.
"Oh my god. Oh god…I can't find you. GET AWAY FROM HIM. I don't know where you are. Tell me where you are. Souta. I'll save you. " I called as tears poured down my face. I couldn't hear him anymore, I turned every direction and tried to see any signs of him. "SOUTA? Answer me Souta. SOUTA. NO!!! NO,I WON'T LOSE HIM AGAIN. DO YOU HEAR ME? I WON'T LOSE HIM AGAIN. SOUTA?" I fell to my knees and sobbed uncontrollably. "NOOOOO!!!!" I screamed. It echoed and at the end, flashes flooded my head. As the images played in my head, I heard us singing Ring Around the Roses, holding hands going around in circles at a fast pace.
Ring around the roses
Souta and I pillow fighting and playing hide and go seek
Pocket full of poses
Me hiding my brother in a secret hiding place "Kagome, don't leave me alone. I'm scared." He begged as he hugged his bear.
Ashes, ashes
"I'm not. I need to help mom and dad. I'll be back for you. I promise."
Ashes, ashes
"Take care of your brother Kag, we'll be watching you. We'll be there for you. We love you both." I held her head in my lap as her breaths became short. Her eyes rolled back and she let go. She was set free from her pain and left me alone to deal with mine.
We all fall down (fading)
Mom shot, Dad tortured
We all fall down (fading)
Me crying hysterically, Souta's silence
We all fall down (fading)
Me screaming
"AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" I quickly sat up and landing in someone's arms, hugging me tightly.
"It was just a dream. It's okay. You're awake. I'm here." I recognized him, it was Inuyasha. He rocked me back and forth to calm me but I continued to cry hysterically. I couldn't stop, Souta's voice still echoed in my head. I called for him as I cried. "Souta. No, Souta. Souta, no." The pain was too much, I couldn't take it. I wanted it to end already. I couldn't run from it, I was cornered, I was trapped. It hurt so much that screaming didn't help. Inuyasha rubbed my back and held me tightly so I wouldn't escape. The comfort helped me fight back until I fell exhaustedly into my trance once again, where no such images or pain exist.
Inuyasha sighed as he laid the shaken girl gently on the bed. She was in a lot more trouble than he thought. He walked out of the room but gave one last worried glance at the unmoving form. He walked to the kitchen where Sango and Miroku were. "How can such pain exist?" Sango asked as she looked down at her cup.
"I'm not sure. I don't know. I mean, lots of people lose their loved ones and they get over it in time but in her case, it's making it worse. I don't understand." Miroku sighed as he thought of every step of the book to use in this situation.
"It's because she's holding on to something. She starts to forget then lets herself get sucked back in subconsciously. She's holding on to her past." Inuyasha clarified as he leaned on the wall.
"I don't think so. Why would she want to hold on to pain?" Miroku asked as he turned to look at the newcomer.
"Because she can't go on without knowing if her brother is alive or not." Inuyasha answered knowingly. Sango dropped her cup and stared at him.
"How do you know about Souta?" She questioned as tears formed in her eyes.
"She had a brother?" Miroku asked confused. "No one said she had a brother." "Exactly. How do you know that?" Sango asked as she walked towards Inuyasha.
"She told me in the restroom. You knew him?" He asked.
"Knew him? That little boy was special, he didn't deserve what happened to him." She yelled as tears spilled from her face.
"What happened to him?" Miroku asked.
"I had dreams about him. He would come in my dreams crying. I could still hear him. 'Sango, tell Kagome to find me. She can't hear me. Tell her to find me.' He was scared. I couldn't tell Kagome about that. She was having dreams of her own. How could I tell her her missing brother came into my dreams asking me to tell her to find him. No one knew where he was, if he was dead or alive. That little boy was saved from seeing what happened to his parents but he was captured and no one can save him, not even his sister." She slowly fell to her knees and sobbed into her hands. Miroku got out of his seat and hugged her.
"Looks like she hears him now. He walked into her dreams. Sister and brother reunite." Inuyasha said as he walked to the table beside Miroku and Sango.
"What makes you say that?" Miroku wondered as he sat Sango on her chair.
"I was going to the restroom when I heard her whimpering. She was calling for him, she even smiled a little. I walked towards her and sat on her bed, she screamed and sat up. She was hysterical, I couldn't calm her down. She had to put herself into those trances in order to get away from it. She scared me when she sat up." He explained and a little blush formed on his cheek as he remembered that when she sat up, she landed in his arms. He wasn't going to tell them that. They didn't need to know that minor detail.
"She was? He finally reached her. " Sango said.
"He's not in peace. He wants justice for his…mind." Miroku stopped his thoughts as he realized what he was about say.
"You can say it. He's dead. No one found him." Sango whispered.
"Try telling her that. She's not going to let go unless she sees it for herself." Inuyasha said as he poured himself a cup of coffee.
"Indeed. She is stubborn." Miroku realized.
"Yeah, she is. She won't say anything about her past. She freaks out when I looked through photo albums. She won't come near me." Sango chuckled softly at the memories.
"She runs away physically but mentally it comes back to haunt her. Poor Kaede, she suffers just as much. Well, maybe not that much." Miroku heaved a sigh.
"Kaede missed Mrs. Higurashi. She always says she lost a sister, brother in law, nephew and a niece. I lost my best friend too, she was the only person I knew who could be in touch with their feelings. She was so real, so alive. I wish you could have met her. She really took you away from your problems." "I'm sure she was wonderful." Miroku smiled warmly at her. "You're wonderful too." He smirked.
"Don't try that on me now when I'm off guard." Sango sniffed and scooted away.
"Actually that's the best time to charm you." He smiled as he got closer.
"Oh geez, Miroku flirt on your own time. We have to go home, it's 1:30 in the morning." He said as he yawned.
"Actually, I was hoping if you two stayed. You can help me with Kag with Miroku being a psychiatrist and all." Sango suggested hopefully.
"He's not a psychiatrist." Inuyasha corrected.
"Shut up. Of course we'll stay. The lady asked for us to stay and we ARE going to stay." Miroku smiled as he had stars in his eyes.
"Don't get too excited. You're sleeping in the guest room." Sango corrected. "Where am I sleeping?" Inuyasha asked as he rolled his eyes at the pair and let out a exasperated sigh.
"Well, we have one guest room. So either you two share the bed or one of you takes the couch." Sango said as she hid a laugh .
"I'll take the couch." Inuyasha said quickly. The thought of sleeping with Miroku sickened him.
"Oh Inuyasha, we can share a bed. It'll be fun." Miroku joked. Inuyasha punched his shoulder and walked away from the monk while saying profanities.
"On second thought, I'd love for you to join me your royal cuteness." He said as he kissed Sango's hand.
"I wouldn't sleep with you if my life depended on it. Don't touch me." She glared as she snatched her hand away.
"Oh Sango, how you hurt me so." He said as he plastered a hurt expression.
"Go to sleep." She ordered as she walked out the kitchen.
"She is not like any of the other girls I met. Yep, she likes me." He smirked as he walked to the guest room, humming happily.
Inuyasha stood by the doorway of Kagome's room. Yeah okay so he lied. He wasn't on his way to the restroom like he told Miroku. He was standing in the same spot he is now, staring at the sleeping beauty. Thinking about what she said and how she said it. She was right, how can anyone get over that kind of tragedy. She saw her parents get killed right in front of her. Actually, she was doing well. Usually the kids would literally go crazy or kill themselves. It would drive them to suicide. He was glad she wasn't capable of such actions. She was strong and she wouldn't give in to such an ending. He was so sure of it, but the more he convince himself the more he worried. She wouldn't, right? He leaned against the wall and watched her sleep. It hurt him to see her like this. It seemed even in her sleep, she still battles. The question he rather not answer is, for how long will she survive the war? He walked to the chair beside her bed and sat, not once taking his eyes off her. Another thing struck his mind, could Souta still be alive? Can she feel him? He gently grabbed her hand as it hung off the bed and held it in his. What is she dreaming about this time? 'I can probably save her awake, but while she sleeps…that's a different story.' He thought as he leaned against the chair and noticed that his body was sore and tired. By the time he knew it, sleep embraced him.
In her sleep
The fog engulfed me and blinded me. I couldn't see where I was going. I was desperate and searching, searching for what.
I couldn't see a thing, I stretched my arms out as far as possible to find my way back. Back where? Where am I? I get it. I was seeing myself. I was watching me. What am I doing over there? The other me started to panic and cry.
"I will find you Kagome. You can't hide from me. I will get you." "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!." I screamed.
I opened my eyes and noticed it was still dark. I sat up as I began to think about the dream. What did that mean? Who was that? Looks like my dreams know a lot more than I do. What did that have to do with anything? Stupid dreams. I don't have time for them. But where was I? Was that a memory? I was instantly torn from my thoughts as I heard movement behind me. I quickly turned around and saw someone sitting in the chair. I squinted to see who it was…and noticed it was Inuyasha. He was still sound asleep. The morning light began to fill the dark room. The light spread across his face, enlightening it. He was beautiful. His hair was beautiful in the morning light and so was his face. He looked so peaceful. How is that? When people go to sleep, they look so innocent but awake they're horrible. I couldn't take my eyes away from him. He even glowed with the light. He was perfect. What was he doing here? He didn't need to be here. What is up with him? He slowly opened his eyes and stared right at me. I let out a surprised shriek as his eyes looked directly into mine. I even lost my balance as I realized how close I got to him and began to fall off the bed. He sat up quickly and caught me.
"What a klutz." he said hoarsely as he suppressed a smile. "What were you doing?" He asked as he arched an eyebrow. He didn't help me up, he was still holding me in the same position he caught me. (hopefully you know what I'm saying)
"Mind helping me up?" I asked sarcastically as I intentionally ignored his question. Well, I wasn't going to tell him I was staring at him sleep.
"No, wrong answer." He imitated a buzzard noise and let go but quickly caught me again. "HEY!!! I almost hit the floor. What are you trying to do? Kill me?" I shrieked as I hung onto him.
He laughed at me, at the scene that he played a role in. "Now, why would I want to do that? All I want you to do is answer my question. Now, what were you doing?" He smirked, knowing the answer no doubt. He just wanted me to say it but I'd rather go through a tornado before I admit something to this arrogant jerk.
"It was dark, the sunlight recently shone the room. I thought I saw something scary but realized it was just your face." He sneered and let go but retrieved me again. "Oops, sorry. My hand slipped." "That brings me to question. What were you doing in my room? I don't recall asking you to sleep here? Care to answer me that?" I smirked. He scoffed and let me go as he got up. Thankfully, I wasn't that far from the floor. "HEY!!!!!!! No fair, I answered your question." I said as I got up.
"Feh, you should know by now I'm not a fair person." He said as he walked out the door.
"Idiot. Ugh, who does he think he is?" "Your worst nightmare." He said as he sneaked up behind me and threw a pillow at me. "Make up your bed. It's a mess in here." As soon as he turned around, I mocked him. "Make your bed. I'm stupid. Look at me I have white hair." I mocked his voice and played with my hair.
"Oh shut up." He said as he pushed me, causing me to fall on the bed. I got up and opened my mouth to say something but he already left. "Jerk."
Inuyasha leaned on the wall by her room. "Was that the real Kagome? Is she changing? I never saw that side of her. She is wonderful. She's beautiful." He quickly shook his head at the thought. "What am I thinking? That can never happen. I don 't even know her. She's a stranger." The more he said it, the more it went out the other ear. She's not a stranger anymore, he practically knew her whole life already. They talk to each other like old friends. 'Yeah, we're not strangers anymore.' He thought as he smiled and walked to the living room.
The phone rang and Sango answered.
#Hello?" Hey Sango, it's Ayumi.#
"Ayumi! Hey, how's it going?" Sango asked as she held a big smile.
#It's great. I called to see if Kagome changed.#
Sango's smile slowly faded. Not because her friend called for Kagome but because she was about to give her bad news.
"Well, um…what can I say? We're working on it." She answered as she let out a nervous chuckle.
#I see. Sango, I was wondering if I can stop by. I'm in the neighborhood.#
Sango shifted a little not exactly sure. "Well, sure. Why not? It might do her some good to see old friends."
#Thanks Sango. You're the best. Ill be over at 7:00. See you then#
"Of course. We'll be waiting. Bye." She hung up the phone and took a deep breath. All she could think about was how Kagome was going to take it. She walked to her room.
"Kagome?" "Oh, hi Sango." "I just wanted to tell you that Ayumi is coming over. Wouldn't you like to see her?"
"Ayumi? Coming over? Wow, it's been so long since we last seen her. Yeah, I'd like to see her." I answered as I shrugged my shoulders.
"Really? Oh that's great. I was so worried." She said as she sighed in relief.
I walked to her. "Sango, don't worry so much. You're going to get heart problems."
"Oh well, I just… I don't know. I worry about you. You're my friend." "I know but you don't have to. You have a life of your own. Live it." I said as I hugged her. As we pulled away she gave me a look.
"I know. I'll follow my advise one of these days. I'm not ready now."
"There's a change in you. I can feel it." Sango gasped as she smiled.
"Really? I don't feel it. Well, I'm going to take a shower." I walked away from her, not wanting to turn back.
Sango's smile faded fast as the mood turned cold, the all familiar feeling. She walked out of the room and sighed. 'There's no way she's changing. I'm looking for it, so I see it. She's still the same.'
7:00
There was a knock at exactly 4:00 o' clock. Miroku opened the door and smiled mischievously. "Hello milady. Please come in." He moved aside to let the guest in. As soon as she walked in, Miroku moved toward her.
"Not so fast, monk. Please excuse him. He is an idiot. How are you?"
"That hurt Sango." Miroku said sadly.
"Oh Sango, it's been awhile." Ayumi said as they hugged.
"So is this your boyfriend?" Ayumi asked as they pulled away.
"Why yes. How did you know?"
"NO, HE WISH." Sango and Miroku said in unison.
"Okay, good luck with that one." She said confused.
"Kagome, you're friend's here." Inuyasha said as he knocked on her door. I opened the door a crack and looked around, making sure she was nowhere around.
"Tell her I'm sick or I went to the store. Tell her I'll see her later."
"What? You said you wanted to see her." He asked mystified.
"I lied. No go, don't tell her I'm here or I'll hurt you." I said as I narrowed my eyes and began to close the door.
"I don't think so. You are going to see your friend if you want to or not." He said as he stopped the door with his foot.
"Are you threatening me?" I asked.
"No, I'm promising you. Get out or I'll smoke you out. Your choice." He grinned at me. I glowered at him as I opened the door, not taking my eyes off of him.
"That a girl. Now, go." He said as he moved aside for me to pass. I walked out of the room slowly and held my angered glare.
"Move it." He ordered as he pushed me.
"Okay, I'm going." I walked into the living room and saw my old friend. I plastered a fake smile and said a almost real hi.
"Kagome, how are you?" She said as she came to hug me.
'Not good.' "Great, and you?" I lied with the rather huge, fake smile.
"Excellent. Listen, why don't you take a seat. I want to talk to you."
"Why, of course." I stood my place but was moved by Inuyasha. He pushed me on the sofa and stood by me, making sure I wouldn't escape.
"Well, who is this handsome gentlemen?" Ayumi smiled as she stared wide eyed at Inuyasha. "Oh him, he's just an ignorant, irritating jerk." I answered with the same smile on my face. He hit my shoulder and introduced himself. "Hi, my name is Inuyasha. I'm her babysitter." He grinned and smiled down at my angered face.
"Really? Call me when you're off duty." She flirted. I rolled my eyes at the scene and snorted.
"Oh, is he already taken, Kagome? Because that can change." She smirked as she stared at me.
"What is it that you need to talk to Kagome about?" Sango said as she saw that I opened my mouth.
"Oh of course. About that, I came to talk to you about your behavior."
"My behavior. What? Am I in daycare or something? Did I steal the other kid's toys? Because I swear, he stole my candy." I smiled as everyone laughed but Ayumi.
"I see you still have your sense of humor. I'm talking about how you make Kaede cry and Sango worried. When will it pass?" The smile on my face disappeared as a smug look took place on Ayumi's face.
"I…don't know what you're talking about."
"About your past. Tell me what you feel."
"I feel nothing. Am I suppose to feel something?"
"I'm serious. Snap out of it. Quit keeping it locked inside. What do you feel about your childhood?"
"Ayumi, I don't think…" Sango defended but was interrupted by Ayumi.
"I need Kagome to answer."
"I feel nothing. My parents' death, I feel nothing. Is that what you want to hear?"
"You make them suffer." Ayumi said as she pointed to Sango and the others.
I kept my eyes on her and my face expressionless. "That's not my fault. I wouldn't know how suffering feels like if I don't know how to feel."
"Cut the crap. You are making everyone suffer. How can you be so selfish? You are not the Kagome I know. Where's Kagome?" Ayumi yelled and banged on the coffee table.
"She's dead and she's not coming back. Live with it. I have." I said coolly.
"Why are you being like this? It's been 13 years . Get over it." Ayumi said as if it was easy.
"Who do you think you are? You come here and tell me what to feel? Are you kidding me? This is a joke. You come here and tell me to get over it? You come to lecture me?"
"That's not what this is about. Maybe if you just stop sulking, stop wanting to get the center of attention, stop with the games. It's getting old Kag, it's childish." Ayumi said as she looked exasperated.
"Center of attention? You are the one that wants attention. I mean that's why you became a stripper."
"Kagome!" Sango gasped and as did Ayumi. She sneered and gave me a look, a look that read I get the last word. "I…didn't mean to say that." I whispered as I covered my mouth. I began to walk towards the door.
"I may be a stripper but at least I have a family. At least I have my brother."
I stopped dead in my tracks. She went too far, she knew how much my family meant to me. I felt the blood boil inside me. I slowly turned around, I walked up to her and punched her so hard that she flipped over the couch and landed on the floor. Inuyasha grabbed me and held me back. Sango and Miroku stood in there place, shocked. "Don't you ever, ever say something like that to me again. I should finish you off right here." I said poisonously as I tried to get loose from his grip.
"You think that'll bring your parents back to life. Guess what, it's not. THEY'RE DEAD." She shouted as she cupped her now swollen cheek. I wanted to hurt her so badly. How can she say something like that? "Let me go." I struggled more but he wouldn't budge. Instead of me ripping at her, Sango jumped in. "Don't you EVER say anything like that again." She punched her a couple of times but was stopped by Miroku. "MIROKU PUT ME DOWN. I dare you to say something like that again. SAY IT!!!" She growled.
"You better go." Inuyasha said as he tried to restrain me.
"You are an idiot Higurashi. A loser, you will never mount to anything."
"Oh like how you mounted a career? Tell me, did you have to give your virginity to some stranger who paid you lower than minimum wage?" I sneered. She walked out the door and slammed it with full force that it knocked some of the picture frames down from the wall.
"Let me go." I demanded.
"Only if you calm down." I stopped struggling and he let go. I spun around and slapped him full force across the face. (wish granted fantasy-seal. Hopefully, it's kinda what you wanted.)
"You took her side. She said those things about my family and you let her go." He looked at me shocked and cupped his cheek. "You think beating her up was going to make you feel better?" "You sound just like her." I whispered as I looked at him. Tears started to spill from my face. I walked to the door but he grabbed my wrist.
"Kagome…" He said. I glared at him and yanked my hand away. I ran out of the apartment. How could he do that? I thought…I don't know what I thought. He was suppose to be on my side. I ran out the doors of the apartment and into the wet night. The rain cleaned the street, the leaves, the world. Why not mine? I ran to who knows where. All I knew was that this was beginning to be my hobby, running away from what I can't win.
"Inuyasha let her go. She needs to let out some steam. Inuyasha!" Miroku said to Inuyasha but was ignored as he left.
"Miroku, how could she say something like that? No wonder Kagome is the way she is. She has the worse friends ever. Do I tell her things like that?" She whispered as she slid to the floor and out of Miroku's grip. He sat next to her and smiled warmly at her.
"No, you take care of her. Don't blame yourself for what she said. You'd never say something like that."
"Thanks Miroku. You're not so bad after all." She said as she sniffed.
"I'm a monk." He grinned and …rub, rub…..SLAP!
"Okay, I take that back." She said as she got up and left Miroku massaging his cheek.
"Kagome, hold on. Would you stop running?" Inuyasha sped after Kagome, there was no way she could out run him. "Go away!!!" I screamed as I ran across the street as the stoplights turned green.
"ARE YOU NUTS? KAGOME." He stopped and waited for the street to clear then took off after her.
I ran faster as I saw him coming closer. I started to get tired really fast and I couldn't run any faster.
He caught up to me and picked me up from the ground. My legs were swinging and I struggled to get lose.
"Let me go." "Kagome listen, please." He let go and I stumbled a few steps back and looked at him.
"Listen. Listen to what? Do you have something to add to what Ayumi said?"
"Just that you need to learn to accept what you feel and tell me what you feel. I want to help you."
"Help me? I don't need your help. Why does everyone want to help? Why don't they just leave me alone? I moved here so people can LEAVE ME ALONE. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?" I screamed into the dark night, to the sky.
"Look, the world is filled with rage and sorrow, hate and love; it's the circle of life. You have to learn how to deal with it. Stop blocking yourself from the world. Stop it. You are not really protecting yourself, you're killing yourself. You are not the only one who suffered." Inuyasha clarified as he paced around me.
"I know that but I'm the only one who does something about it. I mean look at me. Not a carefree in the world. I don't feel a thing. If Kaede dies, I won't feel nothing. If Sango dies, nothing. I froze my heart and I will keep it that way. I figured why feel pain when I can feel nothing at all." I said as I stated the obvious.
"You are human. You're supposed to feel horrible. You know what you're being? You're being cold hearted."
"Comes back to the 'I froze my heart' phrase." I said as I laughed a little.
"How can you be so cruel? I know you're coming back. I know the real Kagome is coming to life because I met her and I fell for her." He said as he stopped pacing and stood in front of me.
"NO, Inuyasha . You're mistaken because the real Kagome is dead. I buried her and she's not coming back." I yelled at him while keeping my eyes on his golden ones.
The next thing that happened, happened so fast. Inuyasha walked toward me and pulled me closer to him, sealing our lips together.
There. Finally, I have a cliff hanger. Hopefully it left you in suspense. That is a long chapter. I am so glad I am finished with this one. So what do you think? Please let me know. Review, I love it when you all review. Show me if you hate this story or love it, even if you don't care about it. Review. Thanks. Bye, till next chapter and I tell you now, it will be good. Evil laughter.