Disclaimer: Definitely no money being made, all original characters belong to the God Joss Whedon and ME. I own nothing except for the characters I made up for the story.

Distribution: You want it, take it. Let me know where and I may visit it from time to time.

Spoilers: Pretty much taking the majority of BTVS the way it went with a few major differences.

Feedback: Please! I will take any and all feedback. This is my first time writing fiction and I am hoping everyone will enjoy the story.

Pairing: W/T Previously - B/T/F Eventually

Author's Notes: Everything is un-beta'd. Any and all misspellings, grammar, typos etc... are all my fault. Please go gently on me. The differences to the story are as follows. Other little inconsequential things I am sure will come up in the story - but these are the main items that I wanted to make sure everyone understands.

Summary:

What would happen if after the Tabula Rasa Spell when Tara left Willow, Tara decided she wouldn't be able to trust Willow ever again? How might things have turned out?

This story is not a Willow friendly story. If you want Willow and Tara to live happily ever after - you do not want to read this!

'How could someone that professed to love me as much as Willow said she did do that to me, not once, but twice? Was it only twice? How can I ever trust her again.' Tara thinks to herself lying on the dorm room bed crying softly. 'I can't ever trust her again. Oh, Goddess, Willow. Why? Why did you do that to me?'

Suddenly there's a light knocking at the door and Tara looks towards it wondering who would be there. Other than the Scoobies, she really didn't have any friends. And, unfortunately, they were all Willow's friends, not hers.

Tara slowly gets up as the knocking comes again. "I'm coming." She heads towards the door as she wipes the tears from her face. "B-Buffy, what are you d-doing here?"

"May I come in? Dawn let me know where you were. I hope you don't mind" Buffy asks.

Tara steps aside and let's Buffy come in. Tara's lived long enough on the Hellmouth to know not to invite anyone in.

Buffy half-heartedly smiles at the blonde Wicca. "I wanted to see how you were doing. I haven't seen you for over a month. I don't know what happened between you and Willow, but if you need someone to talk to" Buffy hesitates looking into the sad blue eyes staring at her "I can be there for you. If you want me to. I'm sorry, I should have been by here to see you before now."

Tara shakes her head slightly and sighs deeply with new tears welling up in her eyes. "Buffy, W-W-Willow's your best friend. I-I can't expect you to…" Tara slowly trails off as the tears start falling and she starts sobbing.

Buffy slowly reaches over and touches Tara on the shoulder and then gently pulls the blonde to her. She just holds her quietly, gently rocking her side to side. Slowly the blonde's tears subside and she releases the death grip she has on Buffy's shirt and pulls away, looking into the hazel eyes of the Slayer.

"Thank you, Buffy. B-but I know I'm just…"

Buffy interrupts Tara before she can get any further, knowing what the Wicca was going to say. "Tara, you're family. I know we don't know each other that well, which is completely my fault, and all Willow will say is that you left because of the magic. I know you wouldn't leave her unless it was something serious. You love her too much. I love her too, but sometimes she does stupid stuff without thinking. Which, God knows, I'm doing the same damn thing." Buffy sighs deeply and slowly sinks down on the end of the bed.

"W-what are you talking about Buffy?" Tara hesitantly questions Buffy while kneeling in front of her gently clasping the slayers hands in her own.

"Tara, you are the kindest, sweetest person I have ever know. I come here to try and maybe help you feel better and I decide to make comments about my own stupidity. You don't deserve that." Buffy says self-deprecatingly.

"P-please Buffy. Right now, I need something else to put my f-focus on. Let me help you, please?" Tara whispers quietly while tilting her head forward so her dark blonde hair hides her face.

"Maybe, if you want, we can help each other out?" Buffy asks hesitantly. "Be friends, there for each other? 'Cause, God knows I need someone to talk to, and so could you, right?"

Tara looks up through her hair at Buffy and kind of gives a small smile. "I think I would l-like that."

Buffy smiles down at the blonde. Then standing, she pulls the blonde Wicca up at the same time. "Have you eaten anything today?"

"No, haven't been that hungry." Tara says quietly, looking down at the floor.

"Well, how about I run out, grab us something to eat and bring it back. We can't have a serious talk without having something in our stomachs, can we?" Buffy grins, trying to coax a smile from Tara.

Tara glances up with a half-smile on her face. "Thanks Buffy. I'm gonna go and clean myself up some. If you get back before me, just let yourself in, okay?"

Buffy nods to Tara as she leaves.

'It seems strange Buffy seeking me out. I wonder what's going on, besides the whole being brought back from the dead. Being dragged out of Heaven has to be hard on her. Maybe that's what she wants to talk about. She hasn't been the same since she came back. Maybe we can help each other.' Tara thinks to herself while she grabs her shower kit and a clean set of clothes and heads to the bathroom.